Right Fans: Sci Fi from the Other Side

Classics: BtVS 6:10 - Wrecked

2012-01-30T23:15:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 6.7

While I think the plot points here are plausible...the exact execution seems *very* rushed.

Plot Synopsis:

The details of this after-school special can be found at the all knowing Wikipedia.

The Skinny:

As I said in the last Buffy review, I find it wholly plausible that Willow would slip further into magic addiction the instant her emotional rudder (Tara) turned her away over it. Addictions are insidious - they creep up on you and you never see them coming, and when someone says you have a problem, often your first impulse is to assume that they're the one with the problem and to rebel. Amy didn't help matters...but Willow let herself get drawn further down the sinkhole even though she knew it was wrong. Right up until Willow's binge on the Cocaine of dark magics with Rak (even the second such binge with poor Dawn along for the ride), all of the relevant plot points were completely plausible (though it would have been good, I think, to stretch out the coke-addict phase a bit longer). It's the final resolution to the episode that makes it feel a little like an after-school special. Willow does wrong, gets Dawn injured, and collapses in bed...and then she and Buffy have this strangely stunted conversation in which Willow mouths the words the writers are doubtlessly thinking to explain her character arc exposition-style while Buffy nods and says very curt, very over-simplified things in response.

I mean, just get a load of this exchange:

BUFFY: I just don't understand. I don't understand why you'd go to see somebody like Rack, and I certainly don't understand why you'd drag Dawn into it.
WILLOW: I don't know. The magic, I ... I thought I had it under control, and then ... I didn't.
BUFFY: Because of Tara?
WILLOW: No. It started before she left. (pauses) It's why she left.
BUFFY: (pauses) Seemed like things were going so well.
WILLOW: It was. But I mean ... if you could be ... you know, plain old Willow or super Willow, who would you be? (looks at Buffy) I guess you don't actually have an option on the whole super thing.
BUFFY: Will, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need magic to be special.
WILLOW: Don't I? I mean, Buffy, who was I? Just ... some girl. Tara didn't even know that girl.
BUFFY: You are more than some girl. (walks into the room) And Tara wants you to stop. She loves you.
WILLOW: We don't know that.
BUFFY: I know that. I promise you.
WILLOW: I just ... it took me away from myself, I was ... free.

WOW! We just went from Buffy being unbelievably pissed at Willow and Willow being emotionally wrecked by injuring Dawn to Willow having complete and total understanding about the nature of her addiction and the necessary action to take to recover...and to make it worse, all of those negative things Willow says about herself, Buffy shrugs off with a simple "it's not true." That just seems...very perfunctory to me.

Meanwhile, we have Buffy...after literally bringing down the house with Spike, he struts around like he God's gift to Slayers, makes some exceedingly disgusting comments all episode long, and the most Buffy can do is scoff and make idle threats (and wallpaper her room with garlic...LOL). But that's not out of character for the discombobulated, depressed Buffy. What is out of character is what will happen in the very next episode after Buffy internally vows to give up Spike. Her reform and Willow's don't exactly stay on the same path. While Willow struggles to be magic-free for a week, Buffy enjoys being invisible long enough to have sex with Spike again...because being invisible gives you a free pass?? So Buffy's plot in this episode seems a little hollow too.

Their story arcs may make sense...but I don't think things should have progressed as quickly as they did for either of the characters. This would have been a much more impact-heavy episode if we'd simply ended on the emotion note they struck with Dawn slapping Willow across the face for what she did. That moment really makes you shudder.

Writing: 6.5

As I said...good plot, weak dialogue, bad timing here.

Acting: 7.5

Alyson Hannigan does a solid job with her scenework right up until the final confrontation with Buffy...at which point the way she plays it seems rather flat. SMG was a little off her game this week as well IMHO...on the other hand, Michelle Trachtenberg gives a nice performance - you really feel sorry for Dawn...none of the "adults" in her life are doing her any favors except for Tara...and Tara can't exactly be around much right now.

Message: 6.0

I get what they're trying to say about escapism not being the answer to life's problems - and I wholeheartedly agree - but the delivery just feels very heavy-handed and simplistic because it all happens too fast.

NEW!: Merlin 4:4 - Aithusa

2012-01-29T23:19:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.0

This one's a bit formulaic, truth be told -- although the last scene is sweet.

Plot Synopsis:

The Merlin Wiki has a summary here.

The Skinny:

Merlin does something rash because he believes it will help a magical being, earning a scolding from Gaius. Merlin and Arthur then go on a quest to undo the damage. Like I said, this is standard fare for Merlin. The building blocks for this episode have been used in many other episodes -- and unfortunately, they've often been used more creatively before now. I've seen far more compelling quests -- and Merlin has, in the past, suffered much stiffer penalties for his adolescent impulsivity and over-confidence. Indeed, just last week, we saw a grand plan of Merlin's backfire in the most spectacular way possible. And now we're moving on without really focusing on the repercussions? Seems odd to me -- like this episode has been tragically misplaced.

But hey -- the birth of Aithusa does manage to recapture some of the "sense of wonder" that is missing in the rest of the episode. Consequently, I wouldn't call this outing a total loss.

Writing: 5.0

Sadly, this script is pretty boring. I feel like it should've been harder for Merlin to reach the dragon egg.

Acting: 7.0

The performances are also strictly average. Nothing stands out.

Message: 6.0

¿Qué?

Classics: SG1 7:2 - Homecoming

2012-01-28T23:22:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 5.3

Pretty standard action fare, with a lot of hand-waving to explain the cast change, the fortunate sequence of events that get our heroes and Kelowna out of danger, etc.

Plot Synopsis:

The full details can be found here, courtesy of the Stargate Wiki.

The Skinny:

I have about five unanswered questions regarding the plot in this episode - it seems very slapped together and very little of it makes sense.

If Nequadria were ever a viable power source, wouldn't the Goa'uld who invented it have risen to power among the System Lords? And if I'm smart enough to ask that question...why wasn't Anubis?
Why would the Andari and the Tiranians know anything about Jonas Quinn other than what they saw at the Kelownan gate room...and why would what they saw convince them that Jonas needed to be their Goa'uld instructor? What's so special about his Goa'uld experience relative to what every Kelownan experienced during this siege.
Why would Yew's first prime throw Teal'c in a holding cell one day...then slightly later agree with Teal'c that Yew has gone nutters and needs help from another System Lord to kill Anubis? Nothing changed in the intervening hours to explain this change of heart.
Here's the biggest plot hole of them all...why would Baal's forces destroy Anubis' ship and not see his escape pod? And further...why would they actually honor their deal with the Shol'va Teal'c and leave Langara alone? This is Baal we're talking about...he loves screwing us over for his amusement.
And finally...did they really have to make so much soup off the Daniel's memory is slightly off oyster for bad jokes only to have him just be like "oh I remember everything now including tiny details from right before I died!" at the end?

With so many plot holes and hand-waving moments throughout the episode and the action filled with so many "wow, that was convenient" moments that it strained credibility...I just can't get enthused. Especially when there wasn't any real character development and the action plot wasn't all that interesting. All in all...an ordinary episode turned into a subpar episode by sloppy writing and made to feel awkward and not all that relatable.

Writing: 4.0

This is sloppy even by mid-season SG-1 action plot standards.

Acting: 6.0

Pretty much all of the principle players were playing this episode a little too cool for my taste...everything was verrrry mellow.

Message: 6.0

There is no message, only Zool.

Classics: Farscape 3:22/4:1 - Dog with Two Bones/Crichton Kicks

2012-01-27T23:28:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.0

I think SABR Matt is right: I think the writers blew their plot wad with Into the Lion's Den and, at this point, didn't really know where to go next.

Plot Synopsis:

Dog with Two Bones is summarized here.

Crichton Kicks is summarized here.

The Skinny:

The storytelling in these episodes is quite rough. In many cases, the plot elements either don't make sense from a character perspective or are left disappointingly underdeveloped. Consider, for example, the rogue Leviathan in Dog with Two Bones. Because her back-story is delivered in a perfunctory manner through Pilot, we don't really get a chance to connect with her and sympathize with her madness. Consequently, when she's destroyed, there's no real emotional impact beyond, "Holy crap! D'Argo's ship is ridiculously overpowered."

And John's daydreams? Those are even more perplexing. When you get right down to it, I just don't accept the premises that drive said visions. First of all, while it is true that the human race is currently unprepared to deal with someone like Scorpius, it's certainly not a given that Earth would be unable to accept John's friends. I think that would heavily depend on where John decides to land. Here in the West, we've been exposed to the concept of an alien through our popular entertainment for many decades -- and not all of those portrayals have been threatening. For every War of the Worlds, we have a Star Trek populated with extraterrestrials that are quite friendly and harmless.

Secondly, I don't buy the idea that, were John to bring Aeryn back to Earth, he would try to shoe-horn her into the "traditional" wifely role via a "white wedding." I think John knows Aeryn better than that, number one. Number two, kick-ass women - like aliens - are certainly not foreign to every denizen of our little blue planet. Okay, yes -- it would probably not be a good idea for John and Aeryn to settle in, say, Saudi Arabia. But the U.S. would work just fine. There are plenty of places in this country where Aeryn would be free to pursue a job in law enforcement -- or something else that is equally dangerous. And John? Well, I don't see any reason why John wouldn't be able to offer Aeryn the kind of wedding - and the kind of domestic life - that she actually wants.

The bottom line is this: The writers are portraying Earth as this repressed, xenophobic monolith, and that's not what our planet is actually like. Instead of venting their personal frustrations with our failings, the writers should've given the human race a little more credit. We are diverse -- and in many cultures, we are quite open-minded and inquisitive.

The second half of this two-parter is marginally better; at the very least, I don't spend the entire hour mumbling, "Where the hell did this come from?" Still, I didn't feel especially engaged in the story. By the time Crichton Kicks rolls around, we've segued into a standard action plot, and that's a bit of a let-down after the depth of the aforementioned Into the Lion's Den. I will say this though: 1812 is one of the most adorable things ever. I totally want to own the plushie version.

Writing: 6.0

As I noted above, the writers spend the first hour of this two-parter wandering around in a semi-haze, and they don't completely recover by the end of part two.

Acting: 8.0

The acting is good, though. It's hard to deny that.

Message: 4.0

The anti-Earth undertones are quite off-putting. We're not really that bad.

Pardon the Interruption: House 8:9 - Better Half

2012-01-26T23:09:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.2

Yes, I am back on the House beat -- and unfortunately, House's car is still stuck on neutral.

Plot Synopsis:

FOX.com has a basic recap here.

The Skinny:

The main message of this episode is a bit lopsided. I can understand why House would see no worth in a marriage in which one of the partners is mentally infirm. I can also see why Chase, given his background, would strongly favor a swift death over a long and drawn out decline. As far as the characterization is concerned, House and Chase's comments make perfect sense. But it would've been nice if, in addition to Natalie's final decision to stay with her husband, we had also seen Adams (or some other character) defend the alternative viewpoint. Because as soon as a society mainstreams the attitude that we, as human beings, are wholly capable of judging whether a particular life is worth living, rampant inhumanity inevitably follows. Disabled kids are denied kidney transplants. People who don't technically qualify under legalized euthanasia statutes are handed "How to Commit Suicide" instructions. Etc., etc., etc.

In other news, I have to admit that I was somewhat interested in the subplot for personal reasons. You see, since my teens, I've been struggling with the reality that I just don't enjoy kissing men and have no desire to have sex with them. I've been going back and forth between identifying myself as a lesbian and identifying myself as asexual, but I'm starting to lean toward the latter now because I haven't really noticed any strong urge to kiss or fondle women either. I've had crushes (on both men and women, by the way), but when I think about it, said crushes were really emotional/intellectual in nature. I've never actually experienced "sexual sparks" with any one person.

So yeah -- my ears perked up when Wilson's clinic patient told him that she and her husband were asexual. Unlike the rest of the "queer" community, though, I didn't get upset when the woman's asexuality turned out to be a figment and the man's turned out to be caused by a pituitary tumor. I guess that's because I haven't really centered my whole identity on being "queer." I think of myself as a Catholic conservative first, a sci-fi fan second, and a teacher third -- and, oh yeah, by the way, I'm not heterosexual. Am I willing to consider the possibility that my utter lack of a sex drive might have a medical origin? Low testosterone seems to run in my family, so it could be that. Or perhaps, due to my severe rheumatoid arthritis, I have some funky antibodies bouncing around in my brain -- antibodies that are messing with my neurochemistry. Who knows? I'm certainly not going to cry over the suggestion that my "orientation" is potentially curable. Indeed, I'm inclined to respond to this whole "controversy" with a noncommittal shrug.

The above-mentioned brouhaha over the subplot aside, this is really just another average episode of House. There are no earth-shattering revelations -- no huge steps forward for the characters. In other words, this lackluster eighth season continues apace.

Writing: 6.0

Did I mention that this episode is tragically ordinary?

Acting: 7.5

The performances are not bad, though.

Message: 5.0

Fortunately, Natalie didn't abandon her ailing husband. If she had, this particular score would've been much, much lower.

Classics: DS9 7:4 - Take Me Out to the Holosuite

2012-01-25T23:40:00.000-08:00

Overall: 8.0

Appreciate this episode for what it is. If you over-think it, you will ruin the whole experience.

Plot Synopsis:

Memory Alpha covers most of the details here

The Skinny:

I'm not going to say much here. Again, this episode is forty-five minutes of pure, harmless fun and therefore doesn't really lend itself to paragraphs of deep analysis. I will say this, though: If you've ever experienced cognitive therapy - or are familiar with the theory - then you might view Sisko's actions at the very end as eminently logical (regardless of Solok's opinion on the subject). Cognitive therapists, you see, believe that clinical depression and anxiety both originate in how we internally respond to life's vicissitudes. If something goes wrong, do we automatically blame ourselves? Do we assume we are being judged by others every second of every day? Do we always jump to the most catastrophic hypothetical? If so, then one key to battling our mental health issues (besides medication) may be to challenge our "automatic negative thoughts," changing them into neutral or positive ones. And this is precisely what Sisko does. He solves his problem with Solok by altering how he reacts to Solok's smugness. Instead of ruminating endlessly on Solok's judgments, Sisko finally learns to brush them off as unimportant. "Screw it," I'm sure Sisko was thinking. "I'm not going to let him bother me anymore. I know I'm a capable captain with a good crew. I don't need his approval."

But let's be honest here: SABR Matt and I don't like Take Me Out to the Holosuite because it's psychologically astute. We like it because it's cute. Personally, I appreciate the opportunity to exercise my smiling muscles. Actually, several times, I laugh out loud while watching this episode, particularly when Worf opens his mouth. ("Death to the opposition!" LOLOLOLOLOL! Best infield chatter ever!) Yes -- the story is a bit cheesy and derivative, but I don't really mind. Sometimes I just have to give a television show credit for being unabashedly entertaining.

SABR Matt Addendum:

My co-author doesn't feel like she's in the proper place to comment on the baseball in this episode. I, however, am I lifelong fan of the sport and all of you sci-fi loving elitists who think athletic contests are beneath your intelligence and express our most primal of emotions (simulated warfare)...I can only say...YOU'RE RIGHT! And that's why baseball is awesome! It's civilized, intellectually crafted, poetically executed warfare and expressed what is wonderful and possible in human capacity from the strictly passionate and and expressive to the biological and technological. The game gives us something to fight about that isn't serious, isn't dangerous, and isn't morally dubious - that's why it's such a wonderful break from our lives full of the serious, the morally dubious and the mortal. So if you feel it's beneath you, I pity you your miserable existence, but you are deluding yourself if you think you're more evolved than a baseball fan just because you don't like civilized, poetic combat.

This episode tends to make a lot of DS9 fans who think they're smarter than the average bear cringe - it expresses everything glorious about baseball just as much as it expresses everything good about the Niners. How can a story about something as smelly as baseball be enjoyable? To you folks, I say...bite me. Sorry...I have nothing more intellectually riveting to say. :) I just want to add that this episode is in fact true to what baseball fans think of their game, for the most part and does a good job capturing the allure of the sport.

The other strain of thought - that this is bad because it makes the Vulcans look bad - is silly. Vulcans aren't Gods...their logical worldview is, IMHO, inherently ILLOGICAL. What in human history has led us, as fans of Trek, to believe that our emotions make us weaker and that we should try to be purely logical? The most coldly logical among us tends to be the most evil or despotic or, at core, miserable as well. It's rather like the bad logic of trading an addiction to gambling for an addiction to smoking. You might save money in the short term, but you're still addicted. That is my leading criticism for AA's approach to saving alcoholics. The Vulcans believe that their emotions made them savage. OK...say they're addicted to those emotions...does that mean the healthy response is to eschew them entirely...or to embrace them IN MODERATION? My 0.02.

Writing: 8.0

The humor works for me!

Acting: 7.5

The acting is pretty solid, too.

Message: 8.5

This score is mainly for the sweetness quotient.

NEW!: Once Upon a Time 1:10 - 7:15 AM

2012-01-24T23:06:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.0

Prince Charming is a bit of a putz in our world, isn't he?

Plot Synopsis:

The official "photo-recap" is here.

The Skinny:

I find this one very dodgy, truth be told. While the questionable themes are mitigated somewhat by the fact that the lives these characters are leading in our world are products of the queen's curse (and thus are not in fact their real lives), the emphasis this episode places on one's feelings - as opposed to one's responsibilities - has the potential to be very pernicious. Remember: Love is not a sentiment. It's a willingness to offer yourself completely to another person no matter your mood, and its perfect model is Christ on the cross.

As I suggest above, I come away from this episode not liking Prince Charming very much -- at least in our world. In the fairy tale world, he had every right to resist the king's demands, as said demands come from cold political calculation and not from any genuine concern for the prince's well-being. But in our world? No -- just because Kathryn turned out not to be pregnant this time doesn't mean you can just continue to lead her along while you secretly go off to do whatever you want. You told your wife that you were willing to go to marriage counseling, and that too is a promise you have to honor.

I know, I know -- maybe it's unreasonable for me to expect these characters to hold to commitments that were magically imposed upon them. But again, I worry that some people in the audience won't be able to see the distinction and will therefore feel justified in breaking off their marriages to pursue this Hollywood figment called "true love."

Writing: 6.0

Also, the writing is very cheesy. "Oh, no! I have to go out in a storm to help this poor dove!" "Oh, no! Now we have to seek shelter in an abandoned cabin in the woods!" Give me a break, guys. I probably would've given this script a 5.0 if it weren't for the fact that I find the new writer character quite intriguing.

Acting: 7.0

The acting's not terrible here -- but it's also not great.

Message: 5.0

I don't want to penalize this episode too much for its misguided notions of what love actually means. After all, as I note above, there is the curse to consider. Still, I think the writers need to be a little more careful when it comes to how they handle the Nolans and their marriage.

Classics: BtVS 6:9 - Smashed

2012-01-23T15:22:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 7.5

Here we go...you ready for this? It's the beginning of three episodes that will make you want to die!

Plot Synopsis:

Wikipedia has the details - don't say I didn't warn you.

The Skinny:

Let's see...the Trio steals a large diamond, which they will be using to power a focused particle beam in a later weapon that will turn them invisible...and this is the least evil thing happening in the episode. In fact, right now, I'm more prone to like Andrew and Jonathan than I am to like the main characters featured in the episode.

Spike continues to try to convince Buffy that she belongs on the dark side (this, for those of you who are keeping score, is NOT love...this is self-serving dreck and deep down, Spike knows it)...and when he discovers that the spell which brought Buffy back to life has made him able to hit Buffy without pain, he taunts her, saying she "came back wrong" and claiming that this proves she's a demon now. Never underestimate the power of lust and evil to combine into something truly disgusting.

Buffy, having rediscovered just how much it sucks to be alive after you'vbe been in heaven, is barely holding onto her dignity until she discovers that she is not fully a natural human anymore, at which point, she loses all pretense of wanting anything other than what is completely self-destructive and falls for Spike's self-serving advances.

Willow de-rats her old schoolmate Amy to help get her over her loneliness and the two of them go on a rather frightening magical bender...and we're just getting started with the magic abuse...wait til NEXT week.

I miss Giles already...*whimper*

At this point, the writers are taking our heroes and dragging them through every painful indulgence, every lseazy behavior, every human failing they can get away with and still be in character. That's OK...though the message that this bad behavior delivers will not come until they come out of their delerium. Needless to say...this episode and the one that follows ("Wrecked") are deeeeeee...pressing. I happen to know that it's building toward something worthwhile, but I can see how fans of the series might havbe thought it had jumped the shark while it was happening. Yowch.

Writing: 8.0

Despite the depressing content, the writing continues to respect the characters and stay true to form and the plot is certain attention-grabbing.

Acting: 8.5

Alyson Hannigan and SMG (and James Marsters of course) carry this episode and actuall;y, the guest-stars that fill out The Trio are amusing as hell, to their credit, so no complaints on the acting.

Message: 6.0

No message yet...wait a bit, though, this is all heading somewhere good.

NEW!: Merlin 4:3 - The Wicked Day

2012-01-22T18:56:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 6.7

Lots to report - none of it conclusive. Overall, a solid episode but, considering the events within, you would think I would be more emotionally impacted by it than I was.

Plot Synopsis:

During Arthur's birthday celebration, Uther struggles his way to the throne room to enjoy the festivities, but, thanks to a plot by Agravaine and his minions, this will be the last fun he has. Arthur is drugged by a trick apple and attacked in Uther's chamber. Uther, in a rare moment of vigor, defends his son and kills the attacker, but is mortally stabbed. In desperation, Arthur turns to magic to save his father. Merlin, unwittingly playing into Morgana's hands, poses as an aged sorcerer, and promises to cure the king in exchange for freedom for doers of magic. But Agravaine reports this plan and Morgana forges a locket that reverses healing spells. Needless to say, Merlin's spell backfires and Uther dies, leaving Arthur embittered with magic and at the helm of Camelot a bit sooner than anyone but Morgana would have preferred.

The Skinny:

I think there are two reasons that this episode bounces off of me like flubber off of a basketball court. Read the above description - doesn't that sound EPIC? And yet, I certainly didn't come away from the viewing blown away. So why did it disappoint (relative to expectations)? Firstly, I think Bradley James whiffed on this one (Arthur) - I know he's supposed to be carrying himself as a king at this point, but he was way...way too stoic in this episode. I mean jeez - his father is mortally wounded defending him, he tries to save him...the magic backfires...and he sits quietly looking at best uncomfortable? Colin Morgan was more credible, but even his portrayal of Merlin's reaction to his plan going horribly HORRIBLY wrong doesn't sit right with me. Morgana destroyed his hopes of a more normal life at great cost to herself and her kind...shouldn't Merlin have been...I don't know...angry??

Apart from what I believe to be inferior acting as compared to normal for this cast, I think the plot was too well telegraphed. They should never have shown Morgana commanding Agravaine to plant the necklace and telling him what it would do. That gave us a touch of suspense, but I think we all knew immediately that Merlin wasn't going to have his coming out party today...it's too soon for the legend to make sense. The way this is done, though, we get no shock...we know what will happen when Uther awakes for that brief moment...we can't feel the horror that Merlin should feel over the failure of his spell and Arthur's angry turn. We also got very little from Gaius in this one - which somehow feels...um...wrong? I mean, this is Merlin's life or death / make or break decision here...where was Gaius to put up more than just a token protest? How on Earth does a Merlin-centered episode include no real council for Merlin? So, structurally, this story undoes its own gravitas. Which is a shame. This is a deeply important part of the Arthurian legend and...it feels like a normal episode of Merlin. What a waste.

Writing: 7.0

The script suffers from structural problems, but the plot moves well and there are a number of enjoyable bits of interplay.

Acting: 6.0

Unfortunately, I don't think the actors hit their standards this week. There was nothing terrible about it...but nothing that made a lasting impact either.

Message: 7.0

I suppose I could have taken a positive message home regarding playing God and deciding life and death in unnatural ways...or about the importance of loyalty and friendship...but I think the only thing that really sticks this week is the important point that Morgana is no longer fighting for "her people" of magical inclination - her selfishness and anger have taken her so far from her original motivation that she is left only with selfish, hollow pursuits of power and ultimately, she's now shooting herself in the foot once weekly. This week, she managed to destroy any hope of Arthur freeing magical peoples when he reached the throne. Well done, you harpy!

NEW!: Grimm 1:9 - Of Mouse and Man

2012-01-21T09:36:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 6.2

Basically an average episode other than the running plot regarding Monroe's character development...which, while interesting, does feel a tad rushed.

Plot Synopsis:

Two plots: a mouse-man experiences a full blown psychotic break after his father dies - he begins seeing his repressive father everywhere and Nick and Frank track him in his grudge against a snake-man (personal injury lawyer...typical). He ends up kidnapping a girl he likes because he no longer wishes to stay confined to a mouse-like existence of mediocrity. Meanwhile, Grimm Reapers track down allies of the new Grimm (Juliette and Monroe) and give Monroe a serious beating as a warning to stop assisting the Grimm. Juliette pursues a vehicle she sees parked outside her home and a family of blud-baten flee from her very glance, making her wonder who they thought she was.

The Skinny:

The main plot was run of the mill cop-drama with an uninteresting Grimm twist. Mousy-men and snakes in our midst? That's old hat, IMHO. That episode failed to establish the true differences between the various classes in play. But the side plot does have potential. Monroe, after getting beat down reveals the reaper logo to Nick and Nick pledges not to ask for Monroe's help any longer, but Monroe insists that he continue to do so. He doesn't care much for established rules and wants to fight. While this is interesting, I think it's very rushed. Monroe started out being kind of reluctant to help and now he's risking death at every turn to help...and we didn't see enough personally motivating reasons why this should be. I would have liked Monroe to pull back at first and then have Nick almost die or something and this could have been a good motivator. All in all, though, this is run of the mill stuff without much of a message, and the dialogue is...pretty dull, I must say.

Writing: 6.0

Average stuff...nothing really thrilling happens this week.

Acting: 6.5

Monroe continues to be fun to watch and I like that Juliette is starting to get more screen-time and to be viewed as a street-wise chick with a good head on her shoulders. It makes her more interesting and will make the payoff we're about to get where she learns of Nick's Grimm status more worthwhile.

Message: 6.0

N/A

Classics: SG1 7:1 - Fallen

2012-01-20T20:50:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 6.5

The creators of this episode admit that they stole their action plot from Star Wars...but it was still cool. :)

Plot Synopsis:

The full details of this cast-rebuilding Star Wars tribute (or...rip-offery), can be found here.

The Skinny:

So there are two plots to discuss in this episode. An action plot in which our plucky and outgunned humans try to arrange the destruction of Anubis at the hands of Yew (and Yew welshes on the deal because his brain is mush), culminating in the destruction of his super-weapon in a spectacularly similar sequence of events to Star Wars: Episode IV, complete with rebel bases being targeted for destruction, needing to do spectacularly dangerous flying through enemy X-wings...er...death gliders, and needing to hit an exhaust pipe a few meters wide with a missile from point blank range in order to overload a power core. Yes, really. The other plot was the return of Daniel Jackson. They brought him back without any memory and after two months living among a simple nomadic tribe, SG-1 finds him and he gets his memory back in a jiffy. One I liked, and one I felt was really REALLY cheap. Guess which one is which?

If you guessed that I liked the Daniel plot and thought the rip-off of Star Wars was cheap...you're absolutely WRONG. :) I love a good homage, and this one was fun to watch. No...I'm afraid I can't get past how easy it was for Daniel to come back after he broke every rule the ancients had and died of radiation poisoning beforehand. He's back...his memories are all peachy-keen...reset button pressed, baby! Not that I mind having Daniel and Jack back to bantering like the days of old...I love that part of the show...but they really needed to earn that. And they failed.

Writing: 8.0

The action plot didn't require a lot of creative writing skill, and the personal story for Daniel certainly wasn't well constructed. This episode gets a small bonus credit for having a lot of very amusing dialogue and for being fast-paced enough to be entertaining.

Acting: 5.5

Shanks is still a consummate pro and RDA is fun i this episode as usual...but I can't get too thrilled here. I think part of the reason Daniel's return carries so little weight with me is that Shanks gives his scenes almost no emotional gravitas. He plays everything way WAY too calmly. If I were discovering that my life was extremely important...that I was part of an intergalactic power struggle the likes of which couldn't possibly be imagined by normal men...I think I might muster up a little...um...BLIND PANIC?? Or...at least...I might sort of...care? A little? No? Hm...interesting choice, Michael.

Message: 6.0

No real message to be found here...this is just the episode that establishes the new status quo ante. Fun...but nothing special.

Classics: Farscape 3:20/3:21 - Into the Lion's Den

2012-01-19T23:39:00.000-08:00

Overall: 9.3

In many ways, these episodes exemplify what this series is all about: a good person who tries to do the right thing but is consistently presented with the crappy choices of a deeply depraved universe.

Plot Synopsis:

Part I: Lambs to the Slaughter is recapped here.

Part II: Wolf in Sheep's Clothing is recapped here.

(With thanks to the Farscape Wiki.)

The Skinny:

If you're ever called upon to explain to a non-native speaker of English what it means to be "between a rock and a hard place," you should point to John in these episodes. On the one hand, he has zero reason to trust that Scorpius won't abuse wormhole technology should it ever fall into the half-breed's hands. On the other hand, the Scarrans may represent a genuine existential threat to the Sebaceans, not all of whom are rat-bastards like the more militant Peacekeepers. So what is John to do? The only thing he can do, really, which is to act upon the information he has available and deal with the consequences later -- or, as John himself puts it, to fight "one evil at a time." And did John do the right thing by sanctioning the destruction of Scorpius' command carrier? That's something we will never know for sure.

The video I've posted below covers the high points from the destruction sequence at the end of part two, and I've included it because said sequence is an absolute tour de force from start to finish. Seriously: There is so much concentrated awesome here that I'm not quite sure where to begin -- but I think I'll start with the general absence of triumphalism. The crumbling statues in the park, the screaming children, Henta's immolation -- all of these properly convey the tragedy of the situation. Of course John would prefer not to imperil the lives of thousands of innocent people, but as I suggested above, the only available alternatives are at least equally terrible.

At the same time, I can't help but feel a little sympathy for Scorpius as he watches his life's work go down in flames. He may be a vicious, untrustworthy snake, but oddly enough, I actually prefer his outlook to Grayza's. Craven capitulation is no way to deal with an aggressor like the Scarrans. Were Hitler's ambitions appeased at Munich in 1938? No -- such an evil must be fought, and fought vigorously to the point of absolute defeat. And as for Crais and Talyn? WOW. That's pretty much all I can say. I don't think the writers could've devised a more fitting end for those two characters. And once again, Pilot makes me cry as he looks upon the results of Talyn's sacrifice and breathes, "Yes, Moya. I see it."

Overall, I think the take-away message of Into the Lion's Den is astonishingly mature -- and something every blame-America-first leftist and Paul-bot needs to hear. Yes -- it is true, for example, that we helped the Taliban remove the Soviets from Afghanistan during the Cold War. But this is a fallen world; like John, our leaders are only capable of dealing with one evil at a time. During the aforementioned Cold War, the Soviet Union was that one evil we were battling -- and personally, I'm not sorry that we did everything we could to force that regime into the dustbin of history, even if it does mean we now have to deal with the sequelae.

Writing: 10.0

As you all know by now, I love political intrigue -- but in this case, the competing interests on display in the story are especially well-conceived.

Acting: 9.0

The performances are not wholly flawless, but they are still terrific.

Message: 9.0

See the discussion above.

Video Highlights:

Classics: DS9 7:3 - Afterimage

2012-01-18T23:51:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 7.2

My biggest complaint with this episode is that the plot is constructed somewhat artificially. It is, however, a very sweet episode and does what it sets out to do (establish a new status quo for Dax).

Plot Synopsis:

A brief summary of events can be found here - suffice to say, Garak faces the reality that he is helping his former enemies to utterly destroy Cardassia because the alternative could be worse, and Ezri helps him get past his claustrophobia and repressed anger and get back on the job while she and Worf get past their own repressed feelings and agree that neither should run from the site of the other, though it will take time to get used to the new order of things.

The Skinny:

So...the station has a counselor...we know they have to have one by Starfleet regulations. Counselor Telnori has been mentioned on at least four different occasions, almost all of which relating to a "WE MUST TORTURE O'BRIEN!" (TM) episode. It's irrational for Sisko to prefer Ezri be in charge of personnel as important as Garak and his senior staffers over a seasoned veteran who has twice brought Chief O'Brien back from the brink of trauma and kept him going. But...Sisko isn't exactly the most rational Captain around and these are trying times. Ezri may not be qualified to take on the job, but Sisko may think he needs her around as a security blanket given how difficult the war is for him. I mean...it wouldn't be the first time a CEO has kept someone on staff who he just...felt better about...even if he/she wasn't qualified. Fans of Jadzia got annoyed at the decision to simply move on like their friendship hadn't changed (I disagree with this...I think their interactions were very different in the seventh season), and many of the show's viewers didn't like the writers forcing Ezri into the story in such a prominent role so often (three episodes which focused heavily on her...to my mind...this isn't unusual, but I'm not a nutty fan - sorry folks, I calls 'em like I sees 'em). I am inclined not to be too hard on the episode (or the season in total) for inserting a new character into familiar territory. I do, however, think that getting Ezri to stay on need not have included making her chief station counselor. She's not ready for that job yet. Telnori could use an assistant, no? So...I will have to ding the writing score a bit for being lazy and kind of schmaltzy here.

That said...this is still Renee Echevarria, and therefore the characterization is very strong and the pathos is thick. Ech's understanding of Garak continues to impress us all, and he does a masterful job helping us get to know Ezri well enough to root for her just a little at least (or in my case...heavily...since she is entirely too cute for words. :) Yes, I admit my bias here - many's the day I've been her companion in a Marty-Stu fic written entirely in my mind...sorry for that image, but I'm just being honest!). The thing is...as much as I enjoy Ezri's new take on what it is to be Dax, it might have been too big of a jump for Jadzia's fans to swallow. Many is the day when nerdy fanboys the world over were Marty Stus to Jadzia's bed chamber. And Ezri is definitely NOT Jadzia. Though...if you're a conservative sci-fi fan...you should like her better than Jadzia as I do, since she seems to be much more careful with her sexuality and her privacy, and since her strength isn't some exaggerated form of female masculinity, but rather an emotional character that must be honed as she faces adversity. But I digress.

On the merits, this episode is run-of-the-mill character drama and very enjoyable to watch. It certainly isn't ground-breaking or without flaws. The rating will reflect that reality, though I personally would give it a higher score if using my irrational brain. :) We'll talk more about Ezri's character when we get to Crossfire and Prodigal Daughter, but for now...I'm glad they handed her character stasis development to Ech...he is the master.

Writing: 8.0

I'd have given the episode higher marks for dialogue and characterization if not for the irrationality of the central plot. Why does EZRI have to be the one to save the most important agent we have in our intelligence division? Who knows...

Acting: 6.5

Nicole Deboer was a little shaky in her delivery in her first major showcase...she does get better with time, as you'd expect, but here...there are some awkward moments that feel very out of place and a bit of overacting. Her good cry scene might have been the least convincing female crying moment I've seen in Trek history. She has some strong help with Dorn, Brooks and Robinson to play off of...but...they can't save this episode from looking a little less than stellar.

Message: 7.0

Small positive bonus for allowing Garak to correctly realize that the Dominion must be destroyed even if the cost is his conscience. He taught that lesson to Sisko...now he must learn it himself. Very enjoyable to watch.

NEW!: Once Upon a Time 1:9 - True North

2012-01-17T23:41:00.000-08:00

Overall: 7.5

This episode is pretty standard-issue for this series -- but as it turns out, that means it's still pretty good.

Plot Synopsis:

The official website at ABC.com has a "photo-recap" here.

The Skinny:

This show really has this thing about keeping bio-parents and their kids together, which is okay -- up to a point. It's certainly fully in character for Emma to be dead-set against putting Ava and Nicholas into "the system" given her troubled background. And Michael definitely appeared to be able-bodied and employed, so there was no reason why he couldn't take responsibility for knocking a girl up twelve years ago. But I think we have to be careful not to make "reunification" a hard and fast rule. As a matter of fact, I think many dysfunctions in "the system" can be directly attributed to a near-fetishization of bio-parenthood. Some parents really can't care for their own kids because they are abusive, neglectful, high on drugs, or some combination of those three -- yet many kids have died because we keep placing them back with those same unfit mothers and fathers.

The above, however, is only one small objection to what is otherwise a solid episode. As far as the fairy-land back-story is concerned, there are no huge revelations to be found here, but the link back to the Snow White story we're familiar with was cute. I also appreciated Gretel's refusal to be taken in by the Queen's offer of endless material comforts. If you have not love or freedom, then living in a castle with all the things you could ever want means nothing. A life of luxury cannot feed the soul.

Writing: 7.5

The script suffers a bit in comparison to last week's, but it is still decent.

Acting: 7.0

The acting was pretty average. No performance really stands out.

Message: 8.0

As I noted above, we have to be careful not to automatically assume that a bio-parent will always be the best parent for a child. Still, I'm glad that Michael was forced to man up. He really had no valid excuse for being a git.

Classics: BtVS 6:8 - Tabula Rasa

2012-01-16T20:26:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 9.5

The entire Buffy experience in 45 minutes - and a wonderful reminder of why we love this show.

Plot Synopsis:

A full recap can be found courtesy of the all-knowing Wikipedia.

The Skinny:

You know why this episode works so well? Those painful things Willow was trying to make her loved ones forget - those are the same gloomy things keeping the cast from reviving their zest for life and their full range of quirks and humorous moments in favor of a sort of black malaise. When, for a briefest of moments, the clouds part and their memories vanish, we go on a ride that will remind us of where they came from. It makes what happens at the end a thousand times more painful if we've just seen the happy, capable version of Buffy, the sparks of chemistry between Willow and Xander...and then Willow and Tara, and the joyful bond between Buffy and Dawn (not to mention a happier Giles, Anya at her cutest, and Spike believing for one silly moment that he's noble and on the side of good). Joss and crew love to do this...they just LOVE to bring us our highest joys right before they twist the knife.

Actually, this episode is penned by Rebecca Rand Kirshner - not on the primary staff for Buffy - which makes this episode all the more remarkable. Kirshner must have been a huge fan of the show or something, because she nailed the characters without even the luxury of them realizing that they were behaving in an authentic way. It's not like this script could include much in the way of the usual relationship banter or continuity that could be retained through simple research. You would have to have a tremendous mastery of their entire history to write this script well (and it's written VERY well). So bravo! to Kirshner for proving herself a way better than average freelance writer. Nice one! Although the humor coming from Anya's subplot stretches credibility since it's well established that only people possessing innate magical abilities can actually perform magic and Anya has no such abilities (thought Giles has learned a few). But we'll overlook that bit since the humor works really REALLY well.

As does pretty much everything else in this episode. I mean, you even end up feeling terrible for poor Dawn. GIles is like her father...and he's leaving. Tara has become like a big sister in the absence of a caring Buffy...and she's leaving. The whole thing stinks. And of course, very correctly, the show is painting Buffy's dalliances with Spike as no bit of titillation. Unless you are a blinded Spuffy fan-bot...you can't be viewing their kiss at the end of Once More with Feeling or Tabula Rasa as a positive. It only makes you shudder and fear for the group as a whole. Their leader is lost in a sea of self-pity and despair.

Writing: 10.0

This is a very difficult script to write...and there isn't a significant flaw with it. Not one line I'd rather not have heard.

Acting: 9.5

Good stuff all around, I must say. Especially from James Marsters, Tony Head, Alyson Hannigan and Amber Benson. Yep...Tara's final appearance here until her return and unfortunate sudden death at the end of the year is the strongest performance we'll ever see from her. Good timing for your A-game Amber!

Message: 9.0

The dialogue is obviously written to parallel the magic addiction with drug addiction and the message is quite healthy, IMHO. They don't seem to advocate the cold turkey approach and they certainly don't seem to be portraying the addiction as if it were a medical ailment, rather than a psychological one. Correctly, I believe, they are focusing on the character flaw that leads Willow down this ugly path. For that, the show gets a feature score for the message.

NEW!: Merlin 4:1/4:2 - The Darkest Hour

2012-01-15T23:48:00.000-08:00

Overall: 8.8

The conclusion, I think, keeps this otherwise strong two-parter out of the feature range.

Plot Synopsis:

The Merlin Wiki has a plot summary here.

The Skinny:

I will say this: If The Darkest Hour is a herald of things to come, then I think we're about to experience a real - and welcome - shift in tone. The cinematography is different, the opening credit sequence is different, and - probably most importantly of all - Bradley James and Colin Morgan are changing how they portray their characters. Arthur and Merlin are not boys anymore; as the aforementioned new credit sequence notes, they are now young men. After a year of ruling Camelot as Prince Regent - a year during which Uther's health, both mental and physical, has steadily declined - Arthur now carries himself with less bravado and more gravitas -- and Merlin has matured just as much.

There's also the relative darkness of the story to consider. That Morgana is willing to sacrifice her ailing sister to unleash the Dorocha upon the world is a testament to how far she has fallen -- and the Dorocha are, by themselves, a legitimately frightening enemy. We still ride the family-friendly line here, but you might want to put your very small children to bed before watching these episodes. Occasionally, the Dorocha even made me jump, and I'm an adult!

I should emphasize, though, that the writers still manage to squeeze some humor into the proceedings. The knights frequently made me smile -- especially Gwaine, who agitates a beehive and accidentally sets his socks on fire. (LOL! You are awesome, Gwaine.) Merlin and Arthur, meanwhile, continue their amusing banter ("Good servants are hard to come by." "I'm not that good." "... True."), though the affection that exists between them is becoming more and more obvious. Notice, for example, that after Merlin is attacked by one of the Dorocha, Arthur very nearly ends his quest to the Isle of the Blessed and rides Merlin back to Camelot himself. Awww. They wub each other, don't they?

Meanwhile, back in Camelot, Agravaine is evil. It was kind of hard not to notice that at the very start, so that's a bit of a flaw in the writing there. On the other hand, Gwen is becoming more and more queenly in her bearing, which is nice -- though, of course, she ends up making an enemy of Agravaine because of her confidence.

On the whole, I really like these episodes. As I suggested in my opening comment, though, the death of Lancelot doesn't really have much of an impact -- at least for me. The truth is, I don't think Lancelot is a very deep character. I really haven't seen the man nearly enough to become emotionally attached.

Writing: 8.5

'Tis generally a compelling story, but I shrugged at the "shocker ending."

Acting: 9.0

As I stated above, I like how Morgan and James are growing into their roles.

Message: 9.0

I also like watching so many characters put themselves aside in order to serve higher goals.

NEW!: Grimm 1:8 - Game Ogre

2012-01-14T21:28:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 8.0

This one is solidly engaging and more than a little disturbing...and what's even better, the seeds are actually being sewn for a series of potentially interesting character developments - at last!

Plot Synopsis:

An ogre comes to town seeking revenge for being put in prison for life (or until his escape)...he murders the judge, the prosecutor, the assistant D.A. and comes hard after Hank, the arresting officer. Nick tries to intercede on Hank's behalf by running the investigation with Hank in lock-down, but this brings the ogre down on his home, where he is nearly murdered himself in an attempt to flush Hank out. Thanks to some quick thinking by Juliette (boiling water FTW!), Nick is barely spared, though his home is a mess. While Juliette cleans up the pieces (and has a much-deserved freak-out), Nick sends Monroe to his little shop of horrors to retrieve some ogre poison and some silver bullets - the weapons of choice for killing this beast. Meanwhile, Hank leads the Ogre into a trap of his own making (rather stupidly)...and Monroe follows with the BFG-9000 (Doom reference!). Hank predictably gets his ass kicked and Monroe is forced to kill the ogre. The Grimm weaponry alerts the monster-ring-leader (chief of police) to the presence of a Grimm in his precinct. Stay tuned for that fun search.

The Skinny:

We have four potentially interesting character-driven plots now, with this episode spicing up the soup. In no particular order:

Juliette has learned the hard way that living with Nick - (to her mind a cop) - could be very dangerous. This is going to strain their relationship at least for now.
Nick is realizing that his aunt may have been right. Juliette is in danger every day they're together given his monstrous mission statement. He is doing the right thing trying to make friends with the well-intended monsters and build alliances...but there's nothing in that good-planning to remove the very real threat to everyone he loves. He will have to decide whether to tell Juliette about his calling or to leave her for her own safety. That could be very interesting.
The chief of police - a known ring-leader among the monster underworld if we're to believe what we saw in "bee-ware" - is now alerted to the presence of a Grimm in his precinct and may ask Hank to lead an investigation into the illegal possession of an elephant gun. This could eventually track back to the Grimm stockpile and to Monroe, who wielded the weapon.
Monroe now knows about the Grimm arsenal/knowledge bank - what he chooses to do with this knowledge will be interesting to watch. He isn't always the most careful and discrete man alive...or the brightest for that matter (not that he's a moron...but he lacks common sense on occasion), so he may slip up some day and lead bad guys to Nick's war chest. Which would obviously be bad.

This particular episode was fast-paced and engaging full-stop...and shows a lot of promise for the future. I am starting to think the series has a future at this blog.

Writing: 8.5

This was a very good murder mystery/suspense script...it doesn't rise to the feature level, but they're working the character angles much better than they were at the start.

Acting: 8.5

Hank and Juliette were the stars of this one and both gave above average performances, as did Monroe. I liked Monroe's subtle hints of being uncomfortable fighting evil...his shaky hand while assembling the gun, his stumbling on the way out of the crime scene, his appeal to his dead father that what he was doing was the right thing. All well portrayed.

Message: 7.0

Minor bonus points for the show's careful separation between monstrous BIOLOGY and monstrous IDENTITY. Notice...the bad guys who run afoul of Nick but aren't normally dangerous or deadly live, while the ones who have no conscience die. Nick and his gang of helpers are not indiscriminately killing all "monsters" - just the ones who must be killed to win the war.

Classics: DS9 7:1/7:2 - Image in the Sand/Shadows and Symbols

2012-01-13T23:04:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.8

One major objection (see below) drags down what is otherwise a good set of episodes.

Plot Synopsis:

Image in the Sand is summarized here.

Shadows and Symbols is summarized here.

(Hat tip to Memory Alpha.)

The Skinny:

Naturally, what I like best about this two-parter is the fact that ~~Colonel Kick-Ass~~ -- er, I mean Kira plays chicken with a vastly superior Romulan fleet -- AND WINS because Admiral Ross is impressed by her sheer audacity. BWAHAHAHA! To quote the late Wash, mine is an evil laugh. "I'm going to set up a blockade." "If you do that, Colonel, you'll have a fight on your hands. A fight you can't win." Orly? Because Kira specializes in those kinds of fights. That's why we love her here at Right Fans.

In other news, the storyline aboard Martok's ship not only gives Jadzia the proper send-off she deserves, but also provides yet more evidence for one of my Key DS9 Rules of Thumb: Quark is a good - even a great - character so long as you keep him away from the Ferengi Ghetto. Quark goes way, way outside of his comfort zone here. He certainly doesn't believe in Sto'Vo'Kor; in fact, he thinks the Klingons' thirst for battle is ridiculous. But he still comes along because he sincerely loved Jadzia Dax and wants everyone else to know it. That's marvelous -- and oddly adorable.

But now to the main plot. SABR Matt and I both dislike the Sisko plot, but I think our criticisms are slightly different. As SABR Matt noted in a recent email, it seems to stretch the bounds of credibility to propose that the release of one Prophet - just one! - would completely shift the tide of the war inside the wormhole and lead to the Prophets' victory. He also asks the following question: "Why does it have to be Sisko who opens the box?" Well, duh -- because it's the orb of the Emissary! Because this is a space fantasy, I personally have no problem accepting the idea that Sisko has always been destined to locate the orb in question. What bothers me is the revelation regarding the circumstances of Sisko's birth.

According to Memory Alpha, the writers had originally planned to make Sisko's mother wholly a Prophet -- and in my opinion, they should've stuck to that idea. If we are to accept that the Prophets are the good-guys in the great spiritual battle to come, then they can't act like the Pah-Wraiths and possess people without their consent. They just can't. I'm sorry, but inhabiting Sarah's body and forcing her to marry and give birth is a reprehensible violation of her free will -- certainly not something a god worthy of worship would perpetrate. Bear in mind, folks, that the real God did nothing until Mary said, "Let it be done to me according to your word." So if the writers were trying to make Sisko a quasi-Jesus here, they failed.

And as for Ezri's introduction? Well, I think SABR Matt is more qualified to comment there. I'm indifferent when it comes to Ezri - I neither love her nor despise her - but Matt thinks she's the Cutest. Thing. Evar!!!!!!!!!!11!!!eleventy-one!! As they all say, your mileage may vary.

Writing: 7.0

Two-thirds of this two-parter is solid, but I have to ding the other third pretty hard for the problems outlined above.

Acting: 8.5

A few moments of scenery-chewing from Avery Brooks keep this score out of the feature range.

Message: 5.0

Holy moral dissonance, Batman! I like the whole spiritual warfare idea, but it'd be nice if the good gods would actually act like good gods.

Classics: SG1 6:22 - Full Circle

2012-01-12T12:08:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 7.5

Severely mixed feelings for this episode abound for me - culminating in a deep desire to pull a John Sheridan and tell our supposedly superior races to GET THE HELL OUT OF OUR GALAXY. :)

Plot Synopsis:

The Stargate Wiki rescues us as usual - a good summary of the events of this episode can be found within.

The Skinny:

At the end of the 6th season of Gate, the writers were aware that Michael Shanks wanted to get back into the game, that the fans weren't thrilled with Jonas Quinn's evolution (especially his lack of clever banter with the rest of the team) and that fans were starting to get bored with ordinary Goa'uld threats and desire bigger stories. The pitch sessi9on for how to launch the 7th season obviously included a search for ways to make the bad guys scarier, the good guys more powerful (and yet more endangered), and the plots more involved. The remainder of the SG-1 canon will grow in scale and thematic oomph (much to my great satisfaction) as we progress from battling a half-ascended Goa'uld to battling hostile human-form replicators in our own galaxy to battling with evil ascended beings to convincing evil Gods austensibly on our side to get into the fight...all while we surpass the other ancient races in technological supremacy and galactic influence (!). But that sort of escallation requires careful thought. And the writers certainly didn't fail us on that front.

This episode is easily the best "new season vehicle" the gate-writers ever pulled off with the exception of the one that will conclude season 7. It opens up three major new plot threads - the end of Daniel's romance with the Ancients (and the beginning of his journey to truly understanding the plight of Oma Desala), the lesser morality of superior races and their role in our ongoing struggles with Anubis, and the quest for Atlantis that will launch a whole new series (a series we will cover here at RightFans as soon as we get to that part of the timeline). The dialogue, plot and pacing i this episode are all at nearly top levels for this franchise...I really want to love it. All of the old dynamics are back...Jack and Daniel bantering impatiently, Sam and Jack and their UST, and the nearly LOSE-LOSE nature of most situations involving the Goa'uld.

But...I come away from this episode profoundly sorry and uneasy. The writers will eventually give us a reason to cheer regarding Oma Desala and the moral bankruptcy of the Ancients, but right at this moment, I want to reach through my TV screen and slap Oma upside her energy-cloud head...and then do the same to Daniel at least ten times for being a complete idiot. Let's see...Anubis is one eye away from completing a super-weapon that could wind up destroying the System Lords and threatening the entire galaxy...we have that eye...and you've gotten the System Lords to surround Anubis's ship. We could either do what you did - gamble the Abydonians' lives, the lives of SG-1 and the fate of the entire galaxy on testing whether Oma Desala would stop you from erasing Anubis fro existance...or we could...um...tell the other System Lords that Anubis is about to get his final eye and they might want to consider blowing him to kingdom come RIGHT F***ING NOW!!! before they get all blowed up themselves...(the risk being that Anubis' ship is powerful enough to win that fight even without the eye...but...Daniel himself didn't even believer that). Which is the bigger gamble with the most downside, you f***iong idiot?!?! Is Atlantis REALLY so important that you would want to risk Abydos, the Galaxy, and who knows what else and let Anubis get his eye?? The worst that happens if Anubis wins the fight with the System Lords is that Daniel is THEN forced to try to stop Anubis while Jack is forced to blow himself up to prevent Anubis from getting the eye. I know we love Jack, but c'mon! Jack and his compatriots dead vs. the WHOLE GALAXY IS F**KED!!! Jesus tap-dancing CHRIST!! It's not even a hard decision, Danny-boy. You completely f***ed this one up.

*sigh* - /rant

On the merits...this is a solid episode with a HUMONGOUS plot hole that is nonetheless a good watch and a good set-up for more fun to come...but I can't like it as much as fandom seems to. I just can't.

Writing: 8.5

It's a feature-worthy script if they don't produce a plot with a hole the size of the sun and a billion times more wind-suckingly painful.

Acting: 9.5

On the other hand...the entire cast is in top form this week...with the possible exception of Ha'rak...he's kind of the comedy relief when it comes to Anubis...but...it doesn't really work when the guy playing that relief is not a very good actor.

Message: 4.5

A significant hit to the score comes from my extreme desire to go Hulk-smash on the Ancients and their "Prime Directive on Steroids" actions here and in other episodes.

NEW!: Once Upon a Time 1:8 - Desperate Souls

2012-01-11T23:53:00.000-08:00

Note from Stephanie S.: As I've pulled myself off the Terra Nova beat, I will now be taking over for SABR Matt here. And yes -- this makes me very happy. I always thought it was a little unfair that SABR Matt got all the decent-to-good new shows while I was left with all the crappy ones.

Overall: 9.3

You know what? I take back my lament in the final line of my previous Merlin post. There is one American television show that pulls off compelling storytelling while also being relatively "family friendly," and that show is Once Upon a Time -- especially when the script is written by Buffy alum Jane Espenson and features Rumpelstiltskin, who is totally my favorite character at the moment. Yeah -- I don't know what that says about me either, but I'm pretty sure I'm not alone on that one.

Plot Synopsis:

Emma runs for the office of sheriff after Graham's death and finds herself mixed up in some very dirty politics. Meanwhile, we learn that Rumpelstiltskin was once a coward who essentially made a deal with the devil to prevent his young son's conscription into a local noble's war. If you're itching for more details, Entertainment Weekly has a comprehensive recap here (though, FYI, the opinions of the recapper may not always line up with my own).

The Skinny:

I don't think this has been emphasized often enough, so I'm going to stress it once again: Robert Carlyle is freakin' awesome. He was the best performer in the SGU cast, and he's turning out to be the best performer in this cast as well. Thus, it is to the show's eternal benefit that the writers finally got around to penning a back-story for Rumpelstiltskin -- and what an interesting back-story it is!

I've always had a thing for characters who get mixed up in Faustian bargains. See also: Londo Mollari. There's something about the mechanism of temptation that I've always found endlessly fascinating. And so it is with Rumpelstiltskin, whose personal fall - like Londo's - cleaves to the ancient Christian belief that evil emanates from perverted good and strikes us when we are weak. Even before his transformation into the "Dark One," Rumpelstiltskin is not a particularly admirable character -- but he is fundamentally sympathetic. We understand the very human fear that once drove him to desert in the middle of a battle -- and we can comprehend the paternal terror that motivates him to protect his child at all costs. But, of course, because Rumpelstiltskin lacks courage and fortitude, he is ripe fruit -- easily plucked when the devil comes his way.

Rumpelstiltskin is fond of telling the others that "magic always comes with a price." Now we know how he came by that knowledge. He may have rescued his son from a grueling and dangerous life in the army, but in doing so, he forever alienated himself from that same son's affection. Once again, this canon seems to be presenting magic as a kind of Monkey's Paw; it might get you what you want, but not in the manner you'd prefer. And personally? I love that. A magical system with consequences is the best sort of magical system a fantasy writer can devise.

Meanwhile, in the "real" world, Emma finds herself mixed up in a Faustian bargain of her own. Rumpelstiltskin's Xanatos Gambit is absolutely classic here. I can't wait to see how he finally calls in his "favor"; given this show's track record, I'm sure the results will be deliciously disturbing.

Writing: 9.0

As I discuss above, Jane Espenson really hits one of my kink buttons here. Bravo!

Acting: 9.0

An episode that heavily features Robert Carlyle is always going to get a high acting score.

Message: 10.0

Like I said: Kink button! Accurate explorations into the nature of evil always merit an A rating in my book.

NEW!: Merlin - My General Impressions of Seasons 1-3

2012-01-10T23:21:00.000-08:00

Yes -- per SABR Matt's expressed desire, we are adding yet another canon!

My original intention was to rate episode 4:1 tonight, but as it turns out, the fourth season of Merlin opens with a two-parter -- and I can't really assess the story in progress until I see its conclusion. Thus, instead of posting the scheduled review, I've decided to share my overall reaction to seasons one through three, which I have just mainlined over the course of the past two weeks.

On the whole, I think this is a refreshingly nice series, and I'm glad SABR Matt recommended it to me:

First of all, you can find things to admire in just about every heroic character -- even Arthur, who, despite being a bit of a noble prat, still has his heart in the right place.
Secondly, I approve of the balance this series strikes between the serious and the comic. When the writers decide to have a little fun - like with the whole "Uther accidentally marries a troll!" storyline - hilarity generally ensues. I also think the ongoing banter between Merlin and Arthur is very cute; their relationship frequently livens up what are otherwise very grim episodes.
Third, the messages are usually sound. There's a strong Burkean subtext, for example, that argues in favor of evolutionary change and moderation and against revolutionary change and extremism. There are a lot of people out there who (understandably) want to visit their vengeance upon Camelot and Uther right this very second, but the narrative quite clearly insists that nature should be allowed to take its course.

And is nature starting to come through? Yes. As we see at the end of the third season (and the start of the fourth), Uther's reign can be ended without Uther's blood being spilled. Uther, you see, is still human. Whatever atrocities he may have committed (and the hints provided in the story are quite tantalizing in that regard), he still loves Camelot -- and, even more crucially, he still loves his children. Force Uther to confront the reality that his fanaticism on the subject of magic has threatened his kingdom and utterly destroyed his relationship with his daughter and he will be broken. And do I think this is good characterization? You bet! I hate to say it, but I think Uther might be one of my favorites.

I've heard this show described as "the SG1 of Arthurian legend interpretations," and I think that's basically accurate. Merlin is light and riddled with anachronisms -- but that certainly doesn't mean it lacks depth. As I noted above, Uther is definitely a well-written "villain" -- and beyond that, Merlin - our hero - often must grapple with impossible moral dilemmas. Is it right to poison Morgana if it means ending a dangerous curse on Camelot? Is it a good idea to make deals with the Great Dragon given that said creature has his own agenda? Really, I think Merlin proves that you can create something fun and "family friendly" without jettisoning the rules of compelling storytelling. If only Hollywood would follow the BBC's lead!

Link of Interest: Liberalism Hurts EVERY Geeky Pursuit

2012-01-09T23:14:00.000-08:00

In my noodling around the net, I've stumbled upon the following, which happens to be quite relevant to this blog:

How Liberalism May Be Hurting Comic Book Sales
by Darin Wagner

Folks, I know comics are created by artists. I know that Marvel and DC offices are in New York City. I realized before I started typing this that asking for authentic conservatism in comic books from the Big Two to counter constant jabs, references and snide, preachy copy they print is like asking the mob to please leave garbage alone. I get that…

…but for the good of the comic book industry, this escalation and domination of liberal sentiment has got to stop and it’s gotta stop quick.

Everybody knows that when an entertainer goes political, he/she runs the very serious risk of cutting their audience by at least half. The comic book audience has been getting smaller and smaller and I think it’s time to honestly consider that a big part of the problem is the content.

We don't really do comics here; television (and the occasional literary comment from yours truly) is more our purview. But I think Wagner's comments apply to anything we geeks happen to like. Look what has happened to science fiction fandom, for example. As I've discussed in the past, we sci-fi fans have been victimized time and time again by a self-appointed Thought Police whose tactics are spiteful, arrogant, and destructive to open-minded discussion. Beyond that, though, much that has recently been published in the genre (outside of conservative redoubts like Baen, that is) is aggressively anti-conservative in character -- and the sci-fi audience is dropping off as a result. Is it too much to ask that the members of our creative class not actively alienate large segments of their potential market?

Classics: BtVS 6:7 – Once More With Feeling

2012-01-08T21:19:00.001-08:00

Note from Stephanie S.: All of the words/lyrics in this review were penned by SABR Matt. I'm just standing in for him while he attends an academic conference. ;)

Overall: 9.7

Believe me when I say that I don’t give out 9.7’s very often for sheer gimmick value and entertainment. There’s nothing wrong with being entertaining, but to get an elite score like this, the episode must be both entertaining and truly emotionally impactful. In Whedon’s first attempt at musical composition, he proves his mastery of the craft and of the written word at the same time.

Plot Synopsis:

The full summary of this enchanting Broadway send-off can be found at Wikipedia.org - complete with some very interesting details regarding how this show came together and some technical background.

The Skinny:

We’re going to break this into several categories to cover the various aspects of this musical production from the technical to the character-driven, to the plot-heavy to the whimsical. We’ll start with some general commentary on the music itself and go from there.

The Music:

This entire hour long musical is a monument to Whedon’s obvious love for the legitimate theater. Every song is written in a different style to convey a different mood and is itself a send-off for a popular form of musical. There are even lines of dialogue that serve as meta throw-away commentary on the choices Joss made for each character. “Really? Was it a metal ballad or more of a breakaway pop number?” or “It was horrible…I mean I always pictured something a bit more contemporary, but suddenly we were singing this retro pastiche!” (both Anya’s comments…LOL)

But think about it – Buffy sings the overture-lead in, but then all of her remaining songs are edgy rock-opera – particularly the big show-stopping number. For Spike, Joss played on Marsters’ British pop-rock looks for a perfect little alt-rock ballad. Anya and Xander – often the show’s comic relief (and the most normal people in the cast other than Dawn) – get to sing that retro 1940’s Sondheim/Hammerstein classic duet and dance number, which can be thought of as a throwback to more innocent times. Tara gets the ingénue romance (it befits her quiet personality), and then the song of love-sick betrayal. And Giles…Giles gets to sing the kind of classic rock tune he sings every other time we hear that beautiful voice of his throughout the rest of the series. If this were a stand-alone musical, we’d accuse Joss or perfect casting, so we’ll call this perfect reverse casting.

But more than appreciating that Joss crafted songs that fit his characters perfectly, we also simply love the songs! They’re catchy like an old-world Broadway money-maker, they sound great (much credit should go to the cast, who reveal that they’re talented in oh so many ways in this episode), and they live by the rule less is more. Joss didn’t try to do too much…he made the melodies simple, the harmonies diverse, but thematic (and thus easy to remember), and the lyrics still felt like a typical Buffy dialogue...filled with the usual modern language and flare we’ve become accustomed to over the years. In other words, Whedon didn’t show off like a lot of new composers often do…he just had fun and so did we.

Choreography:

What’s even more impressive about this – Whedon wrote the music (and the rest of the script) on his own…and then directed the episode, including the immeasurably complex blocking and choreography that went into even the simplest moments (they got…the mustard out!!! They got the mustard OUT!!!!!). And he did all of this on a not-unusual production schedule. The dancing certainly doesn’t match the work in, say, The Lion King or even Rent for difficulty (he has to work with actors who have a certain skill range, after all – Tony Head isn’t known for being a brilliant dancer, nor is Alyson Hannigan or James Marsters classically trained. BUT…Michelle Trachtenberg (who begged not to have to sing) is classically trained in ballet, Emma Caulfield dances like a pro because that’s where she got her start, and hey, Nicky Brendan has soft-shoe and ballroom background, who knew!

So he adapted his choreography to play to the strengths of his crew and gave us technically complex stuff whenever he could, and visually fascinating drama when he couldn’t break out the professional moves. Marsters, for example, does nothing more than sing while doing his usual stage combat stuff, and it looks like dancing because of the way it’s filmed and staged. The same is true of Gellar -- except in her show stopping number, where she gets the chance to show her Broadway dancing chops (and boy does she!). We get a stylized fight sequence for Dawn, framed against a ballet number that has to be seen to be believed (see…she doesn’t have much stage combat know-how…but she can look like she’s fighting for her life while dancing).

Plot/Characterization:

The thing that makes this gimmick work is that it’s not a gimmick! This episode would play at least as well if there were no singing at all. Plot threads established in previous years and episodes continue running apace here. As a matter of fact, this musical does more to move the plot than any other episode in sixth season. A summary of some of the great character-driven choices made:

After being yanked out of heaven, Buffy is dealing with the depressing reality that nothing on Earth can compare to that kind of peace and joy. Like most people suffering from clinical depression, Buffy is unable to feel her emotions (because allowing herself to feel would be incredibly painful). In this episode, the secret that’s been gnawing at her since her return finally comes out and smashes the entire house of cards that was her façade of normalcy. Not only that, but as soon as Buffy’s secret escapes, she makes the next rational decision (rational from the perspective of someone as depressed as Buffy) and kisses Spike – propelling us into an extremely unhealthy relationship.
Giles, meanwhile, is realizing that Buffy has grown enough that she needs to be called upon to stand on her own two feet. On the one hand, he knows she’s in pain and wants to be there to help her through it, but, on the other…he knows that like any good father-figure, he’s got to find a way to kick her out of the nest and force her to confront her problems. This is a common problem with parents and their young adult offspring – a problem getting worse and worse in modern society, where all of our emphasis is on safety and not on productivity. It also completes Giles’ character arc – he has come to accept that he must step aside and let Buffy fend for herself.
Xander and Anya and now realizing the magnitude of their decision to marry and getting cold feet. Here, it’s played as innocent and very typical fears, but this begins a period where Xander comes to terms with the reality that Anya has, in her zeal to live her life instantly before she dies (she’s only got 50 or 60 years left!!), has pulled their relationship further along than he’s prepared for emotionally. This will culminate in the painful blow of their cancelled wedding.
Willow’s descent into the evil misuse of magic continues – following her abuse of a memory charm in the previous episode, Tara learns of her misdeeds from Dawn and resolves to break it off with her. Ouch. The bottom line for Willow is that she’s always felt that she was inferior – just a gawky, nerdy little girl who no one could possibly want as a friend or a lover. She careened from being ignored by Xander to being loved by Oz (before that all went wrong) to being in a relationship with Tara that brought out her desire for a mask to cover her insecurities lest it go wrong again (and thus her use of dark magic) and now, when Tara abandons her in fear of her abuses, Willow will fall into a drug-like reliance on magic that will nearly destroy her.
Dawn even has a bit of plot-continuity. Because Buffy is off in her own little withdrawn world, Dawn feels neglected and is desperate for attention. Her budding kleptomania gets her in trouble here and her bad behavior will not subside entirely until Buffy resolves to show her the world, rather than trying to hide it from her in this season’s finale.

What’s truly amazing about this episode is that it covers all of this ground without feeling rushed at all! Most good episodes of Buffy pick up one, two or occasionally three plot threads for significant screen time, but this one covers five (!) and does it through pure character study (under the theme of secrets and their corrosive impact on us).

The question is…why does it all go to hell in the sixth season? I think this episode goes part of the way toward answering that question (even before it all goes entirely to hell). The Scoobies have always depended on strong leadership from Buffy and Giles. Giles is no longer able to truly influence Buffy and Buffy is no longer leading from strength. While she deals with her own psychological troubles, the rest of the group must fend for themselves…a happier, more commanding Buffy would, I believe, have prevented most of the suffering that occurred in year six. You may think that’s not fair – why should Buffy be called upon to save her friends from their own flaws and self-doubt? But then…why should Buffy be called upon to fight evil alone and unaided either? That’s the hero’s role. They must sacrifice and stay strong because it is who they were meant to be and because no one else is equipped to fill that need. Whedon has said that the big bad in the sixth season was life itself. I would clarify that a bit and say that the big bad was life without faith and hope. They look to Buffy for their moral strength…when she falters, so do they, fair or not.

Writing: 10.0

I urge you to try to locate one significant flaw in the lyrics, the plot and characterization, or the production values for this musical experience. You won’t…because there are none.

Acting: 10.0

I am being, perhaps, just a touch more forgiving than I normally would be when it comes to the performances of some of the regulars and semi-regulars outside the core of the Scoobies. Trachtenberg isn’t wholly convincing at every moment and there are some strange moments for a few of the bit players, but the combination of brilliant choreography, singing chops and strong acting from the leads makes me feel generous.

Message: 9.0

Later episodes will hit some of the thematic points regarding leadership and sacrifice much harder than this one will. Oddly, despite the massive plot movements here, this episode is more of a set-up piece in that regard. However, as a cautionary tale regarding useful deception, it’s still strong on the message front.

And Now for the Musical Part of this Review:

(With apologies for any imperfections in the voice or audio. My camera is cheap, and I'm still recovering from The Cold of Doom.)

Classics: B5 5:22 - Sleeping in Light

2012-01-07T23:46:00.000-08:00

Overall: 9.2

This grand finale is as schmaltzy as all hell, but we love it anyway.

Plot Synopsis:

It's pretty simple, really: Just before Sheridan hits his twenty year deadline and "passes beyond the rim," his friends gather on Minbar for one final dinner. But if you're hankering for more details, you can check out the complete summary at the Lurker's Guide here.

The Skinny:

This isn't really the place for a comprehensive retrospective tackling this show's major themes and arcs, greatest strengths, and primary weaknesses -- though that is something I'd like to do at a later date. (Actually, I'd like to do that for any series on our docket that ran for at least four years.) I would, however, like to point out - as I did at Dragon*Con 2004 - that Vir is the character who changes most dramatically over the course of the series. And I would like to highlight this reality now because the terrific closing sequence for this episode - which juxtaposes each character's first and last appearances - makes Vir's growth immediately and poignantly apparent:

The Vir of Midnight on the Firing Line was a fat, goofy boy who was scared of everything -- especially Londo, who, back then, had a tendency to shout and throw things. And the Vir of this episode? Well, he is every inch a monarch. There are hints throughout that Vir has restored Centauri Prime's relationship with the Alliance and the Rangers -- just as we always knew he would. Further, he carries himself with a gravitas that was once thoroughly absent from his character -- though, hilariously, he still passes out if he drinks too much. ("Where are the others?" "They're putting Vir to bed." Heh.) The Vir of Sleeping in Light is a man who has seen and done much; he has become intimately acquainted with tragedy, and his face shows it in every detail. This, of course, is owing to the fact that Stephen Furst is awesome. All along, Furst subtly changed his performance to keep pace with Vir's phenomenal evolution, and I don't think he gets nearly enough credit for that effort.

My favorite scene in this episode, predictably, is Vir's mysteriously powerful moment in the spotlight. Yes -- this may be Sheridan's episode, but JMS - conscious of where the soul of the series really resides - simply can't resist inserting a little love letter to Londo and Vir and their (aforementioned) BEAUTIFUL LOVE. Forget the "you are my star and my moon" stuff; it is Vir's humble little anecdote that really makes me cry because - like Stephen Furst's performance - it is so marvelously understated.

Which is not to say that I don't understand the appeal of Sheridan and Delenn and their truly epic farewell. There's definitely a valid reason why so many people are drawn to such a traditional romance. I think we all would like to hold on to the hope that love means something more than the mashing together of physical bodies. I think we all still believe, deep down, that romance is fundamentally a salvific experience in which the man and the woman are forged into more heroic - and more saintly - versions of themselves. True -- as I suggested in my opening comment above, JMS definitely overdoes it when it comes to Sheridan and Delenn's final scene together. But once again, I'm inclined to be charitable.

I think it's also important to note that JMS, despite his self-proclaimed atheism, fails to argue that Sheridan's end is really The End. And that's perfectly understandable, I think. What kind of inspiration is your viewer going to glean from your series if you proclaim that your hero's ultimate destiny is to become worm food? 'Tis better to speak of "passing beyond the rim" and "starting a new journey" because the belief in the existence of an afterlife is innate in human nature. Our instincts point to Heaven -- and as a writer, JMS is just smart enough not to fight those instincts.

Writing: 8.5

The script lacks subtlety in places, but it is still quite touching.

Acting: 9.0

I think everyone gets at least one nice scene here.

Message: 10.0

See the discussion above.

Highlights:

First of all, I need to transcribe my favorite part:

VIR: You know, Londo never liked the Pak'Ma'Ra. They're stubborn, lazy, obnoxious, greedy --
GARIBALDI: (interrupting) They kinda look like an octopus that got run over by a truck.
VIR: That too. But one day, Londo and I were walking past their quarters, and we heard them -- singing.
SHERIDAN: Singing? They can sing?
FRANKLIN: There's nothing about that in the literature.
VIR: Apparently, it's something they only do certain times of the year as part of their religious ceremonies. You may not believe this, but -- it was the most beautiful sound I had ever heard. I-I-I couldn't make out the words, but I knew it was full of sadness and hope and wonder and a terrible -- sense of loss. I-I looked at Londo, and - this is the amazing part - there was a tear running down his face. I said, 'Londo, we-we should leave. I mean, this is upsetting you,' but he just stood there and -- listened. And when it was over, he turned to me and he said, 'There are forty-nine gods in our pantheon, Vir. To tell you the truth, I never believed in any of them. But if only one of them exists, then God sings with that voice.' (A beat.) It's funny -- after everything we have been through -- all he did -- (And then, after a long pause and with emotion:) I miss him. (AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! Seriously: This scene is what makes the entire episode for me. I'm half inclined to say, "Screw the Sheridan/Delenn stuff. I'm going home." But that wouldn't be fair to SABR Matt -- or to any other Sheridan/Delenn fans in our audience.)

And now let's turn to the video clips:

(There you go, Matt. That one was for you. ;))

(There's a comment on this video over on YouTube which states, "Probably the only show that will ever make me cry over the destruction of an inanimate object." And you know, I couldn't agree more.)

Classics: Farscape 3:19 - I-Yensch, You-Yensch

2012-01-06T18:50:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.7

Half of this episode is terrific -- and the other half is really, really annoying. I'll give you one guess as to which plot I prefer.

Plot Synopsis:

The Farscape Wiki has a summary here.

The Skinny:

Let's talk about what I hate first: Sko and Wa. Oh my God, did those two drive me crazy! Due to their ridiculous redneck monkey screeching, 75% of Sko and Wa's dialogue was entirely lost to me. Really, if Rygel, Scorpius, et. al. had been permitted to have their little meeting without that pointless interruption, I - and my eardrums - would've been much happier for it. Good grief!

But now to what I loved: Talyn. If there's a flaw in Talyn's plot, it's that the poor kid's homicidal paranoia comes on without a proper build-up. Still, I'm inclined to be forgiving in this case because the writers use Talyn's breakdown to great effect. Not only do we as viewers feel Aeryn and Crais' genuine sorrow over the prospect of mind-wiping the adolescent Leviathan, but the writers also take this opportunity to bring Moya out of the shadows and give her a voice as well -- and it's a voice that's both poignant and eminently human. Of course Moya would want to protect her mentally ill child -- even if it means taking a few blows herself. That's just what mothers do.

Writing: 6.0

We needed to spend a lot more time with the Leviathans and a lot less time in the restaurant. I was actually tempted to fast-forward through the latter plot, truth be told.

Acting: 7.0

Sko and Wa really bring down the score here. I don't know who it was who decided to make those two squealing buffoons, but said guilty party needs to be taken out back to the woodshed.

Message: 7.0

Plus one for Moya being a mommy!

Classics: DS9 6:26 - Tears of the Prophets

2012-01-05T18:40:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 9.0

This episode rises to the edge of feature status on character-related grounds more than on the strength of the action.

Plot Synopsis:

Memory Alpha has the full description of this quasi-cliff-hanger.

The Skinny:

Don't let my teaser comment fool you. The action sequences in this episode are well done and entertaining...but generally, we don't make episodes into features here just because the battles are cool. :) Actually, I like the use of orbital weapons platforms - that's a very Cardassian way to hold territories that you can't defend with manpower...and it's such an obvious idea that it's kind of stunning that we never see it used in Trek episodes. Why isn't Earth surrounded by 50,000 gun batteries? How did the Dominion so easily overrun Betazed? I will say, however, that making all of the weapons platforms dependent on a remote power source that can be easily destroyed with some "fake warp signatures" is rather dumb...I would think we'd have power generation technology capable of firing missiles until the missiles are gone. I mean, whole holo-matrices that continue AIs for a life time can fit on Captain Picard's desk. And I don't think you coudl fit 10,000 plasma torpedoes into an object approximately the size of a runabout. But the idea was nonetheless cool...so...rule of cool applies.

But I digress...the thing that makes this episode stand out for me is that it finally brings Sisko's split-personality to a conflict. Star Fleet Captain vs. spiritual icon - this time...it's PERSONAL (heh). Sisko gets a vision telling him that leaving would be bad (m'kay) and not explaining it. So naturally, when Star Fleet brass steps on his boot until he has to make a decision, he chooses the mission he knows, rather than the one where the orders read: "stay on the station and do nothing until something bad happens." But, what I like about this is that the writers make it clear that the decision is not an easy one for him to make and that he is really aware of his connection with the Prophets now. The "I feel a disturbance in the Force" moment on the Defiant was a tad much, but the idea is solid (and bold).

I also enjoyed many of the smaller moments throughout this episode regarding the supporting characters. Kira and Odo's first fight was cute (much better use of their relationship than we see in "His Way")...and they really hit a home run in dealing with Dax's death (first by reminding us how important she is to several among the crew, then by showing how heavy is the burden on the crew after her passing). And may I say...Michael Down NAILED it when he gave his death howl...never has that Klingon ritual seemed so real and so powerful.

I think it would have been cooler if the Pah Wraith had chosen someone unwillingly (like Damar, for example)...I believe Dukat should have died in Waltz and every use of his character from here on out seems unnecessary. Plus, an unwilling victim of the Pah Wraiths makes their whole presence in the story more interesting (and scary - see "The Assignment"). But even with the strained appearance of Dukat, we do get to see Damar and Weyoun bantering about religion in a way that is genuinely funny and the plot will, in coming episodes, argue convincingly that faith is a crucial part of happiness (and success in battle, I might add)...so I still overall enjoy this plot point.

All in all...this is a solid episode with many qualities that allow it to stand the test of time.

Writing: 9.0

All around solid and engaging script. The action is well written, the characters are put to good uses, and the dialogue is snappy and memorable in places.

Acting: 9.0

I am giving the acting some minor deductions for Sisko's farewell speech to Dax's coffin seeming a little forced in places and for some strange feeling moments between Ben and Jake (especially when Jake blackmails his father into letting him experience the invasion of the Chin'toka system first hand...that whole scene was weird).

Message: 9.0

The writers' respect for faith and the role it plays in many aspects of our lives...from Kira and Dax visiting the Bajoran shrine to pray for a healthy baby to Sisko making a tough choice and coming to regret choosing against his better judgment to Dukat's certainty that the Prophets have been a key factor in Sisko's strength as a leader...it all seems to scream "self-belief isn't enough...believing in something greater than the self is the key to lasting happiness."

Classics: TNG 1:2 - The Naked Now (Jeers)

2012-01-04T17:19:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 1.5

Insulting, scientifically dubious, pointless (no lessons seem to be learned by anyone), and a cheap ploy to get the attention of TOS fans all rolled into one chocolate dragon of shame. This one was so bad that the author of the script insisted on a pen name and made great efforts to hide her involvement in writing it.

Plot Synopsis:

Somehow...we face a repeat of water molecules magically acting like an intoxicant and a disease at the same time...and this time, it's with a cast about whom we know next to nothing and the insanity is entirely unconvincing, rather than being at least somewhat plausible. Yay.

The Skinny:

This, right here, is an episode so badly constructed that you could actually build a religion around it - the cult of awful entertainers or something - based on the five pillars of bad storytelling. In no particular order:

BIGOTRY AND DISRESPECT: If you really want to make your story so foul that no one could possibly like it - if you want to achieve a zen-like level of incompetence and stupidity for yourself and vicariously for millions of viewers - you need to make sure that you express a worldview filled with horrible stereotypes, caricatures and logical inconsistencies abrupt enough to fracture the space-time continuum. In this episode, we get to see every single female character on the ship become intoxicated and IMMEDIATELY seek out someone to f**k. That's right...as we all know, if you're a woman...and are intoxicated...your first instinct will be to have sex. Not your third instinct after other flights of fancy...the first thing you want to do. Oh but it gets better than that. The drunken men act very stupidly, but they're not depicted looking for drunk chicks to bang. No no...they're depicted bemoaning their lack of eyesight or fighting over who gets to be captain. Their first instincts are to philosophize incoherently and play with toys. The women even have to literally drag men into sexual games unwillingly (at first)! And this script was written by a WOMAN! Holy flying female chauvinist pigs, Batman! A woman decided to make all the chicks look for a zipperless f**k while the men were out innocently playing with their toys?!
ZERO RESEARCH: One of the best ways to ensure that absolutely nothing good accidentally leaks into your story is to make sure that before you write it, you do a lot of drugs, ram yourself repeatedly head first into a brick wall or find any other suitable method to make you forget what the rules are for your canon universe and therefore are free to disregard those rules. In this episode, it is clearly established in the pilot episode that Data...is an ANDROID INCAPABLE OF NATURAL HUMAN EMOTIONS! It is further established that most of the components of his body are artificial and that the biological elements are limited to some basic functional chemistry and fake surface features designed to fool humans. Why...pray tell...does DATA get drunk off the magic f**k-juice? You could have made him humor Yar's desires out of curiosity (though that would be kind of skeezy)...I would even believe that an altered water molecule might damage him and cause malfunctions...but why would that make him act drunk?!?! Seriously...what the hell were you thinking?! On top of that, if they'd done their homework for even five minutes and checked how the disease worked in the TOS episode they were "honoring," they would know that the problem was completely solved in that original episode and that there's no scientifically logical way that a re-occurrence of the disease with a different water molecule wouldn't be solved again in mere minutes. And don't even get me started on the "science" of an altered water molecule that causes drunkenness and fever.
ZERO LOGIC, ZERO POINT: No story can possibly be ALL bad if it follows a clear logic that can be understood and makes a clear point. This story hits logical pitfalls such as...a drunken Wesley Crusher...the 15 year old dork, y'know...outsmarting a sober staff of engineers. Yep. That makes sense. It also makes sense that a drunken Yar - with a personal history of rape gangs and violence - would be looking for a cheap f**k the instant her inhibitions were gone. Rather than...I don't know...sorrowfully mourning her past misfortunes, accusing people of being after her body, or any number of responses that might fit with the established narrative. It makes total sense that a star would spit out a fragment that was approximately as big as the enterprise and that looked like a boulder...rather than a puff of hot gas much larger...and it makes the most sense of all that the ship's tractor beam would be powerful enough to move a stellar core fragment that size. Awesome. For cryin' out loud, at least the TOS version of this story had drunken crew mates fighting and acting out frustrations from their youth or from the workplace, rather than focused entirely on sex. Ugh.
ZERO CONSEQUENCES: I've seen well-made stories that had no net consequences...but this still counts as a good way to augment the perfect pile of scripted shit. Considering all of the bad behavior engaged in by the crew, you would think some feelings might be hurt or some unintended consequences (like unwanted pregnancy or new relationships that end well or badly) might ensue. But everyone acts like this happens to them every week. Totally beautiful in its audacity and shame.
LIFELESS DIALOGUE: It's very important that, when you write the Tao of Shit as was done here, you leave clear evidence that you went out of your way to make the dialogue be funny...and got awkward and juvenile...or be serious...and got laughably ham-handed...or be philosophical and got cliched and shallow. You have to be trying to write something good and failing miserably in order to achieve a mind-altering level of suckage. This episode makes really REALLY telegraphed attempts at humor that fall totally flat, tries to make us care about certain characters and their hardships and instead makes us want to punch those characters in the face (like Geordi, for example), and aims to at least make a point about our baser instincts and completely fails to do so because nothing we see on screen is remotely representative of those characters and their most likely baser instincts. That takes a lot of anti-skill to pull off.

And above all else...if you can't write a plot this bad...then by all means, write a carbon copy sequel to an established, halfway decent plot...and then make it much much worse. That'll really give your viewers the full experience of watching a pile shit get thrown at their faces. And that's what early TNG was all about...bravo!!

Writing: 0.0

One of the worst scripts (from a pure-writing standpoint) of all time.

Acting: 4.5

Some of the individual performances are marginally credible...but most ranged from over the top to completely amateur.

Message: 0.0

If you want to f**k, just get a girl drunk. The guy, of course, will have higher things on his mind. Oh no wait a minute...that's just in stereotype land. *sigh*

Classics: B5 5:19 - 5:21 - Capsule Reviews

2012-01-03T23:34:00.000-08:00

We've now hit JMS' extended denouement. Personally, I think the next three episodes could've been cut down to two (or even one) without our losing anything important, but hey -- things are the way they are.

*****

5:19 - Wheel of Fire

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: If you were wondering why no one noticed Garibaldi's being drunk off his ass for the past few weeks, this episode finally ties up that loose end. And then there's Lyta; probably the most effective scene in the episode is the one in which Lyta forces everyone in the Zocalo to tap their fingers with her awesome - and SCARY - mind control powers. It does make one regret the failure of Crusade, though. Because the aforementioned spin-off never got off the ground, our chances of seeing Lyta's activities and development beyond this point are slim to none.

Steph's Rating: 7.0

*****

5:20 - Objects in Motion

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: While the good-bye scene between Sheridan and Garibaldi is nice, I can't say I care too much about Garibaldi and Lise and their attempts to wrestle back control of Edgars Industries. We can just stamp a big "meh" on that plot. No -- what interested SABR Matt and I the other day while we were watching this episode was the obvious chemistry between Lyta and G'Kar. We are 100% convinced that the two of them had lots of very kinky sex while they were out exploring the galaxy -- especially given that bit with the handcuffs. G'Kar may be "enlightened," but I'm sure he still nurses a taste for alien women. LOL!

Steph's Rating: 6.5

*****

5:21 - Objects at Rest

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: I really start to notice JMS's "padding" in this episode. The message Sheridan records for his unborn child, for example, is very sweet -- but also kind of superfluous. Sorry.

A couple of comment-worthy things happen here, though. Naturally, I love Londo's final appearance. Although the Keeper in Londo's ceremonial jar is yet another thing we will never see an on-screen follow-up for, those scenes are still completely awesome. I love Londo's begging for a drink -- and his disappointment when Sheridan states that he left his alcohol behind for Delenn's sake. I love Londo's assuring Sheridan and Delenn that he is still their friend no matter what happens. And I especially love how the director echoes a certain iconic shot from The Long, Twilight Struggle in that final zoom towards Londo's ship. Like I've noted in the past, I could write an entire essay on Londo and his windows.

In the meantime, Lennier's arc also comes to its tragic end. Regarding Lennier's "betrayal", I can see why most fans didn't like that finish. The transition from "I will pine for Delenn from afar" to "I'm going to let Sheridan choke to death" does feel awfully abrupt and out-of-character for Lennier. I'm not sure how JMS could've improved the execution on that one, but I do know that it didn't quite work for me. Alas.

Steph's Rating: 6.5

*****

Next up: Sleeping in Light, which obviously deserves its own post.

Classics: SG1 6:21 - Prophecy

2012-01-02T11:54:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 6.8

Don't do it, Gate writers...don't try to make us care about Jonas NOW...it's too late!

Plot Synopsis:

The details can be found at the Stargate Wiki.

The Skinny:

By this time, the writers KNEW than Daniel was coming back...KNEW that Jonas was leaving soon...and they still went ahead with an old pitch to give Jonas a potential future as some kind of clairvoyant (aborted with medical intervention in the final script). They devoted practically ZERO effort to making Jonas a new and unique voice on SG-1...someone the fans would care about...and the result was a fan base that didn't give a damn whether Jonas lived or died. So no...we're not suddenly going to care that he might have developed a new magical power and might also be near death now that his year on the show was a total failure. This is a story that works as a filler of average "high concept" value in any season and has no special features that make it worthy of our attention without some character angle...and the fact that they placed the emphasis on Jonas robs it of any character angle.

Which leaves us with...guy has brain tumor, guy starts seeing the future, guy sees horrible SGC-annihilating bomb trap, guy tries to prevent it...it seems like his actions keep leading to the trouble he foretells, guy comes through in the end...but...then guy has brain tumor removed. Reset button pressed, guy goes back to being a boring piece of crap stand-in for the real brain of the team (Jackson). The ratigns for the show will reflect that rather tried-and-tested formula for sci-fi goodness on the merits of the plot only.

Writing: 7.0

This is actually a rather well-written version of the standard future fate question episode in sci fi. It seems, for a while, to be a greek tragedy...but then with a little work, Jonas sees critical details that save the day, meaning Stargate writers are of the belief that the future is not set and that determinism is wrong. The suspense works pretty well despite us not caring about Jonas one iota.

Acting: 7.0

Nemec and Tapping are the acting leaders this week as they have many scenes together discussing the implications of future-sight. Fraisier does a fair job as well considering her limited guest role.

Message: 6.5

Tiny bonus for picking the correct side in the battle between determinism and the multiverse to explain future-sight. Otherwise...meh.

Happy New Year!

2011-12-31T23:37:00.000-08:00

(Image Credit: NASA/JPL)

Once again, we're taking the weekend off. Posting will resume on Monday, January 2.

Classics: Farscape 3:18 - Fractures

2011-12-30T19:34:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.5

Admittedly, what I tend to remember most about this episode is the fact that the writers Went There with the muppet sex. I shudder to think what that says about me.

Plot Synopsis:

The Farscape Wiki has a summary here.

The Skinny:

But seriously: Muppet sex aside, Fractures is but a passable transition story. The writers do close one chapter and open another in a reasonably competent fashion, but there's nothing here that's earth-shattering -- nothing here that really fires the blood.

The strongest scenes of the episode are those which revolve around Moya!John and Aeryn and the new awkwardness which exists in their relationship. This is mainly owing to the fact that Ben and Claudia are talented actors -- though kicker lines like "It's irridium alloy; of course it'll hold -- just like the Budong" and "Now she thinks you're the copy" also help a great deal. It's especially interesting to watch the emotions that play over Ben's face as John tries to reconnect with Aeryn. You can really feel that John is hurt by Aeryn's cold and distant demeanor. He's been pining for Aeryn all along, and now he feels like he's losing her again.

Beyond John and Aeryn, though? Meh. I don't really have anything profound to say, I'm afraid.

Writing: 6.5

I'm adding an extra half point to the average for the realistic way in which the writers handle John and Aeryn's reunion.

Acting: 7.0

Claudia Black and Ben Browder are pretty strong here, but the rest of the performances are only okay.

Message: 6.0

N/A.

Classics: DS9 6:25 - The Sound of Her Voice

2011-12-29T23:00:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 8.9

This episode feels like an Echevarria piece, but it's actually done by Ron Moore...that's the highest compliment i can think of to give Moore for his character work and his beautiful use of language.

Plot Synopsis:

The full scoop can be dug at Wikipedia.

The Skinny:

Two things had to happen in this episode for it to work as a pitch, and trust me when I say that either of those things could easily have whiffed badly without requiring "bad" writing. First - we had to really like the person on the other end of that subspace telephone. Second - if you're going to pull the old BS technobabble switcheroo on us (a completely and totally unnecessary plot twist to get to the funeral...and a scientifically dubious one meant to be "high concept"), you'd better give the woman a full Wrath of Kahn style burial complete with heartfelt speeches to make up for it. Perhaps Moore thoguht he was being clever...but maybe someone could explain to me how this ending is any more effective dramatically than, say, taking her back to the runabout hoping to bring her back and having Julian fail because they were just a bit too late? And yes...I am gonna dock Moore a few points for choosing the silly "oh snap!" ending for Lisa Kusack (why? because I LIKED Lisa Kusack...she deserved better, gosh darn it!), but the episode is saved in spite of this decision by solid character work and a real tear-jerker of a funeral.

Before I go any further in discussing the character-driven storytelling that made me compare this with Echevarria's best works, I would like to mention one other structural flaw I see with this episode. It was written as an A/B story and paired with another nice idea - Jake tails Quark while he tries to trick Odo into being distracted long enough to smuggle some contraband and make a big profit. It's fun watching Quark talk about a relatively harmless bit of deviousness, and heart warming to see Odo soften for a day and let Quark get away with it. But here's the thing...it doesn't fit the theme of the A plot...it feels out of place emotionally, and the result is that adding a good B plot to a very good A plot makes both plots less effective. I still enjoy this episode or it wouldn't be hitting the third tier ceiling and just missing feature status, but, to be honest, I don't think this episode needed a B plot...I think we should have had more interactions between Kusack and the other members of the crew and I think we could have spent longer on the rescue attempt and the post-death grieving and really hit this one of the park. Save the Odo/Quark story for an episode that would benefit for a sweet little "awww!" moment and some chuckles.

Now...after those quibbles...on to the good stuff! All of the problems that Lisa gets out of the Defiant bridge crew were spot on. Sisko is running a war and really, there's no way you could expect him to be comfortable with Kassidy barging onto the bridge to say hello. This is a very common problem for military types while on duty. As a matter of fact, this was one of the primary reasons that the US armed forces resisted female inclusion for so long and, after allowing women to serve (and rightfully so), instituted policies against fraternization. Intimacy amid the ranks breeds distraction, damages morale, and gets people killed, as much as we might wish otherwise. Even if kassidy were another officer, I'm guessing that Sisko would still have been uncomfortable with her on his ship. O'Brien seems precisely like the kind of person who would keep his growing sense of isolation and depression to himself and soldier on until he got a good kick in the butt from a helpful listener. Combat veterans have to be able to detach and focus on the work in order to handle the stress of war, but a long drawn otu war can cause a person to close themselves off entirely. Bashir's obsession with his work is another manifestation of the same problem. I would have liked to have seen Dax deal with a problem - perhaps relating to Worf - she could have lightened the mood or been leveraged in some other valuable way. But all in all, the personal stories made sense, flowed nicely, and gave this episode lasting significance.

I'll close with some love lavishly poured out for the funeral. Bashir and O'Brien each give beautiful speeches that build on each other and leave you dewy-eyed if you possess a soul. I'll quote them both here:

BASHIR: (slightly drunk) I just wanted to say that although I only spoke with her for a very short time, I really admired Lisa Cusak. I cared about her and I'll miss her. And another thing. Contrary to public opinion, I am not the arrogant, self absorbed, god like doctor that I appear to be on occasion. (pause) Why don't I hear anybody objecting to that statement?
O'BRIEN: Well, I will if you insist.
BASHIR: I insist.
O'BRIEN: Then I object.
BASHIR: Thank you, Miles Edward O'Brien. No, I have a heart, and I really care about all of you, even if sometimes it would appear that I care more about my work. To the woman that taught me that it is sometimes necessary to say these things. Lisa Cusak.
ALL: To Lisa.
O'BRIEN: I never shook her hand and I never saw her face, but she made me laugh and she made me weep. She was all by herself and I was surrounded by my friends, yet I felt more alone than she did. We've grown apart, the lot of us. We didn't mean for it to happen but it did. The war changed us, pulled us apart. Lisa Cusak was my friend. But you are also my friends, and I want my friends in my life because someday we're going to wake up and we're going to find that someone is missing from this circle, and on that day we're going to mourn, and we shouldn't have to mourn alone. To Lisa and the sweet sound of her voice.

Not a dry eye in the house, baby. This isn't QUTIE as impactful as, say, the Siege of AR558, but the message is similar. Our instincts in times of war are to put our heads down and avoid facing the excruciating emotions that war generates in us, but at some point, if you do this for too long, you'll either go crazy or lose your humanity. It's at these times when we must turn our thoghts to our friends, or family, and God. The intersection of Lisa Kusack's death and the lives of the Defiant crew could be viewed as a terrible blow - a cruel curse at the worst moment. Instead...it feels like divine providence. This is why we love DS9.

Writing: 8.7

I'm dinging the script just a bit for being structurally "off key" and for making needless use of technobabble. Normally that doesn't annoy me too much, but when you're doing a character peice that doesn't need it to get the plot to work...please eschew it.

Acting: 9.0

The voice acting for Lisa was...only OK...though she did have her moments. The rest of the cast was brilliant.

Message: 9.0

See my closing comments above if you want a reason.

Classics: TNG 1:3 - Code of Honor (Jeers)

2011-12-28T22:00:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 0.5

This is right on par with the DS9 smash hit (ha) Profit and Lace...and for a few of the same reasons.

Plot Synopsis:

A round-up for this farcically bad episode can be found here, thanks to Wikipedia.

The Skinny:

I won't rehash the points brought up by many race-conscious observers (and even folks who try to avoid overanalyzing race issues like SF Debris) regarding the bizarre implications of the only all-black world in the Federation being run by African tribesman from the stone age, or regarding the ridiculous references to a rare Native American behavior called Counting Coup (the only accurate reference Trek ever managed to write into a script regarding Native Americans and it's this bit of barbarism?)...but I do think, in this case, the folks are right. It's a documented fact that the director of this episode was an outspoken bigot who was fired before the end of the first season for his views. The script itself was penned by some very amateurish irregular contributors who, I believe, we not attempting to craft a despicably ignorant and racist bit of fiction, but succeeded due to cardboard characterization and inane dialogue which the klan-sympathizer behind the camera ran with.

On top of the not-so-opaque racism, the show should be deeply disturbing to anyone who cares about the rights of women. They tried to solve this problem by placing the women in control of the land and wealth in this society, but that doesn't really work for two reasons. First, these women seem perfectly happy to trade their wealth and their bodies for some bastardized version of power. Even the supposedly impressive wife of Lutam only selects a different man because she is displeased that Lutam would try to possess another woman above her. But they even say that no woman has challenged an arranged marriage in 200 years! So this power play by Lutam's wife is not endemic...and is not a sign that this society reveres women the way it should. Not when Lutam and all of the other men react to the mere notion of a female in a position of authority with obvious disdain. And of course...there is the whole...um...kidnapping of Tasha Yar. For the purpose, originally, of showing how large a penis Lutam has...and later...forcing her to marry him against her wishes (and doubtlessly raping her thereafter). And all of this would still leave room for the episode to function as a pro-female story if the Enterprise crew had reacted with the appropriate respect for Tasha's personal safety. Instead, they hem and haw over how not to violate the prime directive, how to hammer out a treaty to get a vaccine, how to stay on Lutam's good side. Yep...at that point, I check out. If I were in charge, the moment they violated the God given rights of my officer to the sanctity of her body and her freedom...they would have ceased to have any right to my civility. I would have taken Tasha the instant she was located (and that would have included a show of military force if necessary), and then, for good measure, I'd have taken the vaccine and left a beacon around the planet warning the rest of the galaxy that these people were barbarians not to be trusted.

And here's the sticky part. Many Trekkies would scream and call me an imperialist or a thief for my actions. They'd say I violated the Prime Directive (which...haven't I done it already by introducing myself and revealing that I have warp drive capacity and impressive weapons? They're a pre-civilized society, let alone a pre-warp species for crying out loud.). I would say that I can take the vaccine with me without changing their world significantly - at least my way doesn't result in death-matches and direct interference with the natural passing of tribal power. I think the Prime Directive is a basically solid idea...you're not supposed to take advantage of lesser developed species and you're not supposed to interfere with their development. My actions do NEITHER of those things since Lutam's people have no use for the vaccine and I'm not altering their society one iota. But whatever fits your convoluted story, I guess.

On top of the philosophical problems I have with the show, there is the added fact that it is EXCEEDINGLY poorly acted and directed and edited. Whoever told Lutam to sound like the male version of Ms. Cleo (call him now for your free reading!) should be fired just for that. Jesus...Barbados Slim (Futurama reference) is a more believable island native. Even Patrick Stewart - who usually gave heavy-handed performances in the first few seasons - was too FLAT in this script. And when the guest cast gave us emotion...it was so intolerably stilted and overwrought that it caused me to LAUGH, not feel the drama. And don't even get me started on the fight sequence. I don't think I've ever witnessed a battle to the death that was so boring. It doesn't help that they never used poor Denise Crosby's character very well and never did more to fill out her backstory (which could have been fascinating)...but geez...she could have died and I actually yawned while watching the fight...in the middle of the afternoon! All of the attempts to inject humor also whiffed...Data and Geordi talking about human jocularity was about as funny as a wet fart in church. And oh the music...the painful, TOS-style ear-drum-cracking melodrama is offensive to the ear. UGH.

In short...there's nothing good about this episode. Not one thing.

Writing: 0.0

FAIL, guys...FAIL Right down to how the exposition for the story is conveyed...it feels like something a high schooler might have penned.

Acting: 1.5

Awarding just a touch of credit for the performance of Karole Selmon. She was actually not that bad. The rest of the cast...awful.

Message: 0.0

Now hear this! We respect other peoples' barbaric cultures so much that we'll tolerate them no matter what they do to our officers, up to and including rape and murder! We'll still paint those brown people as savages...but damn it...we respect those savages! We have to remember that they're inferior to us and so hold them to lower standards...because that's how we show mercy and respect in the enlightened Federation! Oh, and you women...your best hope of having real power and influence is to be sexy enough to be desired by the men and then let yourself get passed around to the man with the power like the slutty hookers you really are. That's right...even you, Tasha...the one who survived rape gangs all her childhood...you're turned on by being taken captive by a big native man because he finds you fuckable. The only reaso you're ever upset in this time is because that other native slut dared challenge you!

(and just in case some of my readers missed it...this is derisive sarcasm...the views of TNG's finest early producers and directors, up to and including Gene Roddenbury, do not reflect my own)

*sigh*

What a load of crap this one is.

Classics: DS9 6:24 - Time's Orphan

2011-12-27T23:16:00.000-08:00

Overall: 7.0

There are a few sweet moments here, but overall, the episode is pretty meh.

Plot Synopsis:

Memory Alpha has a partial summary here.

The Skinny:

SABR Matt and I are both skeptical when it comes to the science on this one. SABR Matt thinks that the universe should've imploded once the older Molly met the younger. I, on the other hand, am a little unsure about the developmental psychology. The feral children of whom I am aware were generally separated from human society at a much younger age, so I don't know how realistic it is for a fully verbal eight-year-old girl to completely lose her speech after an extended period of isolation. But hey -- Memory Alpha claims that the writers consulted a few psychologists while they were penning this episode, so perhaps I'm wrong about the sensitive period for human language development.

As far as the story is concerned, my general reaction is - as noted above - "Eh." As I'm sure you may have noticed, I tend to prefer episodes that involve permanent consequences -- and this episode doesn't really have any, which makes the whole "Molly as a wild child" idea feel kind of pointless. There's nothing hugely wrong with the writing, but because the reset button is pressed at the very end, it's hard to get too invested.

Writing: 6.5

'Tis a very average stand-alone script.

Acting: 8.0

The parental acting is solid, but I can't say I was all that impressed by Michelle Krusiec's performance.

Message: 6.5

Not much to see here.

Classics: SG1 6:20 - Memento

2011-12-26T07:26:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 7.2

The plot is pretty standard fare for Stargate, but that's actually a good thing - we haven't done a classic first contact with aliens story with a happy ending in a while, and this one speaks well of the gate as a uniter, rather than a divider.

Plot Synopsis:

The details can be found at the Stargate Wiki (here).

The Skinny:

If you like the general format of a typical SG1 episode, this will make you pretty happy. Although they don't step through the gate to make first contact (they actually blow up a fusion reactor and seriously damage an entire planet's power grid...much better!), they make that first contact all the same, and then the story becomes one of discovery. Normally, they would be helping a new race to discover the use of the gate network...this one becomes a story about helping a race rediscovery their history. The Tegreans erased all records of their ancient history (before the recent three hundred years or so) and lost all common knowledge that their planet once possessed a working Stargate. Jonas, playing the role of Daniel oh so blandly, combs through their history to discovery where the gate was buried and, with the help of some wide-eyed intellectuals, finds it in the desert outside their capital. They work together to dig it up (SG1 needs it to get the parts they need to fix their hyperdrive engines and go home) but the chief antagonist of the story - a hot headed security minister who sees his latest bug bite as an imminent threat to national security, let alone digging up a ring that can send people to other worlds (!) gets into a stand-off with the planet's leader, who has come to our aid, and he (the leader) must convince his own military not to kill SG1 and re-bury the gate.

I guess there are three major flaws with this script that keep it from being a fantastic call to the explorers and historians in our midst.

The security minister is never properly explained. Why would he ASSUME that every alien he meets is out to blow up his capital city? Granted, we didn't get off to the greatest start with Tegrea, but he goes apoplectic over the notion of allowing Jonas access to their historical library! Why would a conquering race care about Tegrean history? A better villain - one who, perhaps, was less pig-headed and more motivated by realistic concerns would have helped this story along.
The theme of the episode could have been made a little more clear. It seems to change every five minutes. When they pitched this script...they should have said something like "this is a story about..." As I understand it, that's how most pitch-sessions work. You give a quick synopsis of your plot concept and explain why you want to do this story. But it seems confused over whether it's primarily about the process of discovery - one race reawakening to the thrill of the frontier (us)...another race discovering as if for the first time, that they are not alone. The next minute, it's a story about the need to preserve one's entire history, rather than systematically erasing bits that are too painful. Then it changes again and is about the need to have a little faith in the goodness of your fellow men. Pick a theme...any theme...and tell a story about it. The hodgepodge feel here doesn't add to the power of the message...it confuses things and makes the story feel slapped together.
The dialogue is...um...boring. EXCEPT for the prime minister's speech at the end, which is actually very nice.

But, having raised those complaints, I don't think this is a bad episode. I think it misses some opportunities to be great, but even with the disorganized nature of the script, it still recalls the basic thing that draws us to the gate - we haven't done a real "wonder of discovery" episode in some time and it's a nice throwback to earlier seasons.

Writing: 6.5

Higher marks for that lovely speech at the end of the episode and for reminding us why we liked the Stargate concept enough to stick around through many changes in the show's formula and feel.

Acting: 8.5

The performances are actually very good all around except for the security minister, who sometimes comes across a little stiffly. I think the college professor and gate-lore collector is a pretty amusing character mostly because he's welll acted.

Message: 6.5

As I said, this episode missed a chance to really hit home with a strong message at least three different ways, but we'll give it a little bonus for giving us a few warm fuzzies at the end.

Merry Christmas!

2011-12-24T12:13:00.000-08:00

We will return with more reviews on Monday, December 26th!

Classics: B5 5:18 - The Fall of Centauri Prime

2011-12-23T23:29:00.000-08:00

Overall: 9.8

I can't think of a more fitting end for Londo, whose arc is a true masterpiece.

Plot Synopsis:

The Lurker's Guide has a summary here.

The Skinny:

As I've stated many times before, Londo is my favorite character (aside from Vir). And really, when you get right down to it, the reason for that undying love is this episode -- the episode that ties his entire arc together. If Londo had never come to this point - if he had never faced up to the consequences of his actions and sacrificed himself for the sake of his people - I certainly would not rank him among televised science fiction's best tragic heroes.

Say what you will about JMS - and I've certainly said plenty - but his depiction of what redemption actually involves is probably the most accurate depiction in the business. There is an unfortunate tendency in our culture - especially among liberals - to confuse mercy with leniency. I can't tell you the number of times I've heard Christian leftists in particular confidently declare that Jesus would advocate for a permissive legal system, for example. JMS, on the other hand, happily avoids this common misreading of the Sacred Scripture. He understands that the process of atoning for one's sins is certainly not as simple as receiving a slap on the wrist -- that even if you are truly sorry, you will still have to take responsibility for the fallout. There's no "Get Out of Jail Free" card in the real world -- and there really shouldn't be.

As the Catholic Church teaches, a good confession involves the following five steps:

Examining your conscience to comprehend your sin.
Feeling genuine remorse for what you have done.
Confessing that you were wrong, out loud, before God (as represented by the priest).
Accepting God's forgiveness.
Completing your assigned penance.

I've emphasized that last step because it is the one most frequently forgotten by so-called "progressives." Perhaps that murderer does truly regret what he has done. Perhaps his born-again Christianity is the real deal. But that doesn't mean we should let him go. Indeed, if said murderer really were genuinely penitent, he would understand that he must serve the rest of his sentence. In other words, he would understand that prison is his assigned penance.

Now let's take a look at how JMS uses the basic framework of the sacrament of Reconciliation in crafting the latter half of Londo's arc:

Examining your conscience: In No Surrender, No Retreat, we see that Londo has done some thinking since the end of the Shadow War and has come to understand that what he did was wrong.
Feeling genuine remorse: For Londo, this begins to develop in the fourth season and reaches its culmination in The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari.
Confessing that you were wrong before God: This is precisely what The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari was all about. According to JMS, what you feel in your heart doesn't matter one wit unless you are willing to testify to it in the sight of others. Without such testimony, says JMS, your soul will die.
Accepting God's forgiveness: Okay -- G'Kar is not God. But I think the beautiful scene in this episode - about which I will say more in a minute - in which G'Kar forgives Londo fulfills this step.
Completing your assigned penance: Londo does this when he accepts the Keeper -- and the imprisonment and pain this entails.

JMS may have fallen far away from the Church, but it seems his imagination is still laboring under its legacy. And that's a fortunate thing, as Londo's story would not be nearly as profound if it weren't animated by a vaguely Catholic consciousness.

Of course, this episode isn't just the climax of Londo's arc. As the undisputed victim of Londo's bad choices, G'Kar has had to struggle all along with the impulse to seek vengeance. That G'Kar can now joke around with Londo, touch him in a kind way, and - most importantly - forgive him is a sign of just how far G'Kar has come since the day he openly wished he could obliterate the Centauri and carve their bones into flutes for Narn children. We'll see G'Kar a few more times before the end, but really, his story also ends here. Forgiving Londo is the pinnacle of G'Kar's arc. And by the way, that scene, in my opinion, is the very best scene in the entire series. Both Peter Jurasik and Andreas Katsulas put in performances that are absolutely incredible, and the writing achieves a depth of emotion that is found nowhere else. Yes -- I can think of several scenes that come close, but this one really tops them all.

And one last thing before I close: I am also impressed by what JMS and Damian London do with the Regent in this episode. In the space of a few minutes, they take this twittery little slip of nothing and give him this mysterious - and tear-jerking - dignity. Wow. That just goes to show how the great writing for Londo and G'Kar tends to rub off on nearby players -- and it also demonstrates just how good this episode is.

Writing: 9.5

The script can get a bit exposition-y at times, but I think that flaw is more than compensated for by the Best Scene Ever -- and by JMS' mastery of Londo's characterization.

Acting: 10.0

Maybe there were imperfections in the performances, but I certainly didn't notice them, as I was too busy being gobsmacked by Peter and Andreas and their amazing ability to communicate a novel's worth of emotions through their facial expressions.

Message:10.0 ++++++++++++++++++

See the discussion above.

Highlights:

REGENT: I have to go now, Londo.
LONDO: No. Don't go.
REGENT: I have been many things in my life, Mollari. I have been silly. I have been quiet when I should have spoken. I have been foolish. And I have wasted far too much time. But I am still Centauri, and I am not afraid. (Seriously? You're going to make me feel sad for this goofy little man? You are evil, JMS. Pure. Evil.)

LONDO: I can't stay. I just wanted to see how you were.
G'KAR: Better. I would be dead if not for you. You risked your life to save mine.
LONDO: You would've done the same.
G'KAR: Yes, but I am a better person.
LONDO: You ingrate! I promised I would get you out of that cell, yes? And do I not keep my promises, hmm? (He starts to laugh.) Where you go, I go?
G'KAR: (also laughing) Yes.
LONDO: That must now change, however. I cannot have you following me around as my bodyguard any longer. I do not think it would be appropriate... or safe.
G'KAR: (starting to get up) Why not?
LONDO: The Regent is dead, G'Kar. In a few moments, I will take his place. There are... preparing for me now. And although I cannot formally become emperor until tomorrow when the Centaurum meets, unofficially I am now 'in charge.' (There is a long pause.) After tonight, I don't know if I will ever see you again. (He starts to get emotional.) And... I wanted to... say goodbye. I don't know why that should be important to me now at a time like this, but... it is. (A beat.) In the months and the years to come, you may hear many strange things about me... my behavior. Well... they say the position... changes you. And I just... I-I wanted to...
G'KAR: I understand.
LONDO: Perhaps. And perhaps you do not understand as much as you think. Pray that you never do, G'Kar. Pray that you never truly understand.
(Londo pats G'Kar's leg, stands, and walks over to the window.)
LONDO: Well, I must hurry. Our ships will soon be in firing range. (He sighs.) Isn't it strange, G'Kar? When we first met, I had no power and all the choices I could ever want. Now I have all the power I could ever want, and no choices at all. No choice at all.
(Londo starts to leave, but G'Kar's voice stops him.)
G'KAR: Mollari. (G'Kar stands with some difficulty.) Understand that I can never forgive your people for what they did to my world. My people can never forgive your people. But I can forgive you. (OMG! BEST SCENE EVER! BEST. SCENE. EVER!)

And now let's go to the video:

NEW!: Terra Nova 1:11 & 1:12 - Occupation/Resistance (Final Capsule Review)

2011-12-22T23:05:00.000-08:00

I'm not expending too much energy on this review, as I've already decided to abandon this series. However, if you're still interested, you can read a brief summary of my reaction to the season finale below the spoiler cut.

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: I must admit, I'm mildly curious to see what will happen once the colonists discover that they've lost their one supply line and will soon be short on their nifty, futuristic amenities. If I were a writer on this series, I would see the destruction of Hope Plaza as a golden opportunity to sow dissension in Terra Nova's ranks. But do I expect Terra Nova's existing writing staff to actually capitalize on this potential? No. Said writers have proven that they are not worthy of my trust. Their bad guys are so ridiculously over-the-top that you just can't take their storytelling seriously.

Consider Weaver, for example. If he weren't such a prissy man-boy and actually had some facial hair, we would've seen Weaver twirling his mustache and cackling at some point. I mean, really -- Weaver gleefully shoots an innocent herbivore! There's no way the writers could've made it any more obvious that Weaver is EEEEEEEEEEEVIL with a capital E. And the characterization of Lucas Taylor is plagued by similar problems. There's not a single scene in these two episodes in which Lucas displays anything other than pure, unadulterated sociopathy -- and that complete lack of ambiguity is just not interesting to me. In order for a villain to grab my attention, he can't be a psycho; he has to have understandable reasons for what he is doing. But, of course, giving Lucas understandable reasons would undermine the writers' true purpose, which is to craft a "green" morality play -- and I'd rather not subject myself to that kind of indoctrination.

Steph's Rating: 2.0

Brief Travel Break

2011-12-21T20:02:00.000-08:00

We have not scheduled a new posting for today - it would normally be my day in the rotation, but all of the new sci fi is in hiatus and I am preparing to travel home for the Holidays anyway, so we will return the blog to action tomorrow with my co-author's comments on the final Terra Nova episode and a DS9 review Friday! Note also that we are taking Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off as well, and we'll leave a Merry Christmas wish up during that time!

SABR Matt

Classics: Farscape 3:17 - The Choice

2011-12-20T23:23:00.000-08:00

Overall: 9.8

Fair warning to SABR Matt, who's watching this series for the first time: This episode is extraordinarily grim. But that doesn't mean it's not awesome.

Plot Synopsis:

The Farscape Wiki has a summary here.

The Skinny:

I'll tell you one thing: As far as the production values are concerned, the crew absolutely outdoes itself here. Foremost on my mind is the parade of grotesqueries the Creature Shop dreams up to populate Valldon (especially Cresus, who is perfectly crafted to inspire the viewer's revulsion), but the lighting and set design are also worthy of praise. Every technical element, in truth, has a contribution to make to the overall picture -- which, of course, is intended to dramatize Aeryn's psychological state in the wake of Talyn!John's death.

But now to the content of the story. Justin Monjo makes the correct choice in bringing Xhalax back into the picture, as Xhalax, once again, compellingly illustrates Aeryn's great good luck in meeting John. Many cycles ago, Xhalax took a chance on loving someone, only to have her hopes dashed in the cruelest possible way. Since then, she has never been afforded the opportunity to come to terms with what the Peacekeepers did to her developing family -- and the anger and hurt that this has wrought has consequently divorced Xhalax from her own humanity. Instead of blaming her fascistic superiors for her sorrow, Xhalax blames love itself and seeks to strike at the person - Aeryn - who inspires it.

Aeryn, on the other hand, will not follow her mother's path. Though we see her indulging in a bit of Xhalax-style emotional torture in re: Crais - and though we see her retreating into her Peacekeeper persona at the end of the episode to protect herself from further emotional upset - it's also important to note that she leaves Valldon (unlike Stark, who, given his brain damage, is ill-equipped to withstand the planet's magic). The fact that Aeryn chooses not to lose herself in Valldon's black promises - that she chooses not to dwell on what she has lost - is in actuality an indication that John has changed Aeryn in a fundamental way. Though Aeryn doesn't recognize it yet, John has made her a healthier and better person -- an effect that will never be completely undone.

Writing: 10.0

The characterization is flawless, I feel.

Acting: 10.0

I also don't believe there's anything wrong with the performances.

Production Values: 10.0

True -- we don't normally add in this dimension when we review television shows. In this case, though, the atmospherics really stand out.

Message: 9.0

It is indeed dangerous to hang on to the fantasy that anyone can be brought back from the dead.

Highlights:

(With thanks to whoever it was who compiled the Farscape Transcript Archive.)

Stark: Aeryn, you must return to Talyn. We -- we saw Xhalax here on Valldon.
Aeryn: It's this place. You should see who I've seen.
Stark: No-no. Your mother is really really here.
Aeryn: No, guess who I've seen? Crichton. And guess who else? My father. Any microt now, Stark, you're going to see Zhaan.
Stark: You stop! You listen to me! He - (indicating Crais) - he never killed Xhalax! He was preparing to betray us!
Crais: That is not true. I made a deal for all of us.
Stark: (roaring as he shakes his gun in Crais' face) LIAR! LIAR! (Then quietly, and ever so gently, back to Aeryn) Now you must come back with us. I will look after you. I want to look after you.
Aeryn: (in a very low voice as she gazes into Stark's eyes) That would be really nice.
Stark: Oh - please --
Aeryn: (without taking her eyes off him, in the same, creamily half-stoned voice) Don't touch me. (Stark freezes.)
Crais: Aeryn -- Xhalax is alive.
Aeryn: Come on! (She slides onto her hands and knees and crawls over to kneel in front of Crais where she shakes her hair back and plays with his collar in a manner somewhere between seductive and threatening.) Come on. Come on, Crais. You can tell the truth. Mm?
Stark: (scoldingly) You get up! Get away from him!
Aeryn: No that's all right. He wants me. Isn't that right? You always wanted to take me from Crichton, and now here's your chance. (Crais isn't sure what to make of her behavior - he can't help but smile ever so slightly at her attention - but he knows she's drunk and distraught as she leans in close, cradling his head and speaking into his ear.) And you know what, Bialar? If I squeeze my eyes closed - (she sighs) - tightly enough - you could be someone else. (Crais grunts - he suspected as much - and he tries to pull away, but Aeryn latches onto him with a vise-like grip, pressing herself against him and throwing one leg around him as she insists hysterically.) No! Come on! Right here! Right now! Give it to me. Give me what you've got!
Stark: You're coming with me! I'm taking you now! (Oh no, she's not. Aeryn comes powering off the floor like a maddened thing and rams Stark against the wall, pinning him there. She whips out her knife and holds it poised over his eye.)
Aeryn: (viciously) DON'T - YOU - TOUCH - ME! I swear I will spear the last eye you have left! (Then, with quiet hatred:) Do you know what makes you so much worse? The fact that you think you're so much better than him. Always pressing against me. Stealing looks. Get out of here. (She turns and walks away from Stark. Crais starts to rise to his feet, and Aeryn jerks him up and gives him an enraged shove) Both of you GET OUT!

Aeryn: Let me guess - you're my long-lost sister.
Rygel: Look - Aeryn - I know you're upset. I too had someone important in my life. Kellor was her name. I missed her for a long time. But I knew - as I'm sure you do - that self-sacrifice is not the answer. Look -- I'm not like Crais or Stark. I'm not trying to save you or recreate with you. You can do whatever you like. But -- Crichton loved you, Aeryn. He wouldn't want his death to lead you here.

Talyn: Cresus says he has rarely had a vision so powerful! And he wants me to find the Sintar. He is a creature who can sometimes turn spirits corporeal.
Aeryn: That's not possible.
Talyn: Oh, Aeryn -- on this planet I have seen things I have not thought possible. Wait here. I will find the Sintar. If the connection is strong enough -- if he thinks this can happen --
Aeryn: He can bring Crichton back?
Cresus: Perhaps. Don't lose hope -- y-yet.
Talyn: Wait here. I will not be long. Just believe! (A tear slides down Aeryn’s cheek as she watches him go. Then she shakes herself and rises.)
Aeryn: I returned from the dead. Why can't he?
(She staggers over to her bed and flops into it with a sigh. Before long, the spectral Crichton returns, coming to sit behind her on the bed and laying his hand on her shoulder.)
John: This is where it hurts?
Aeryn: Yeah.
John: Right here. (He massages her shoulder as he brings his head close to hers. She sighs with deep comfort and contentment.) You can't bring me back, you know.
Aeryn: Mm. They said that on this planet there's a -- I've forgotten his name.
John: (gently) No.
Aeryn: (after a long pause) No?
John: (firmly) No.
Aeryn: (she closes her eyes and says after another long pause) Was it easy to be a hero? Leave me behind?
John: (quietly) You never think - you're gonna die. I didn't know.

Xhalax: You know -- things couldn't have worked out better. I'm glad you two got to meet.
Aeryn: (staring at the body of Talyn sprawled on the bed) Why?
Xhalax: For this. For you to suffer. For everything you did. For everything that went wrong.
Aeryn: I -- We did nothing to you.
Xhalax: You did everything. After your birth, High Command said I could redeem myself if -- (she stops herself) -- but they lied. The damage was done. And no matter what I did I was never truly reinstated.
Aeryn: And now you want my pity.
Xhalax: Oh no. I want your pain. To know how close I was - to love. So close -- and then to lose it all in an instant. I've heard -- loved ones leave you in pieces. That little by little you start to forget things about them. But that's not true. You lose them - everything - instantly. And suddenly nothing can replace them. Nothing. And now you -- have nothing. How does it feel?

Aeryn: Wasn't killing Talyn once enough? But did you have to kill him in front of me? Is that what was missing? When I first met him, I knew he wasn't my father, but he knew all these details about you and me.
Xhalax: You're lying. You didn't know. (Aeryn laughs a bitter, woozy laugh as she turns away from her mother and goes to sit in the window.)
Aeryn: (loudly) Of course I hoped -- that he might be Talyn. Just as I hoped that I might see Crichton again. But in my heart - I knew that that - (gesturing to the body laying on the bed) - was not my father. And then you walked in. You know -- we Peacekeepers think that we are so remarkable. Soldiers without equal. Precise tacticians. Purebloods. But I've realized -- we're not remarkable. We do nothing for love. Not one thing.
Xhalax: (after a long pause) You're wrong. Cycles ago - after your birth - I was given an order. They called it a choice. "One of you must die," they said. I killed your father so you could live. I did that -- for love.

Aeryn: So. This is it? Kill me now. Destroy the last piece of your life -- and leave nothing.
Xhalax: I wasn't an assassin until I killed your father. I was a pilot. I was bred to be a pilot. But they made me kill again and again -- and finally I stopped caring. But I knew your suffering would ease my pain. And it has. It has.
Aeryn: The battle's over, Xhalax. You don't want to kill me.
Xhalax: No. (She wants Aeryn to kill herself. She fires two shots over Aeryn’s shoulders, but Aeryn doesn't even flinch.

Meanwhile Crais has made it up on the service lift and is moving cautiously through the hotel corridors. The halls are more deserted now, and everything Crais sees, he treats as a potential threat, taking down one hooded figure before moving on. He comes to Aeryn’s room -- but is forced to duck back as a guard posted there takes a pot shot at him.

Cut back to Aeryn on her ledge with Xhalax in the room behind her)
Aeryn: Why don't you come out here a bit closer? It might make it easier for you. (And Xhalax does. Aeryn guides the muzzle of her mothers gun to the base of her throat.) Here -- you can't miss from here. Unless you want to.
(The scene shifts quickly from the standoff on the ledge to Crais as shots in the hallway are fired and the last of the obstacles between him and the door to Aeryn’s room is removed.)
Aeryn: Drop the gun, Xhalax.
(Xhalax' gun wavers on the ledge -- and in the hallway Crais moves carefully through the trash-strewn corridor to Aeryn’s door, mindful of any hidden assailants in the gloom.

Xhalax closes her eyes and her gun wobbles.

Crais steadies himself to storm the room.

Slowly, almost miraculously, Xhalax lowers her weapon and she and Aeryn stand there on the ledge, facing each other. Aeryn smiles.

But at that moment - the door to her room bursts open and Crais charges in - he sees only Aeryn and Xhalax on the ledge.)
Crais: AERYN!
Aeryn: NO! (Xhalax turns towards Crais and brings her gun up -- but Crais fires first, and Xhalax is hit in the chest. Her gun goes spinning away down the side of the fearsomely tall building, and she begins to topple over backwards. Aeryn catches her and holds her back) NO! (Crais holds his fire as he watches them down the barrel of his gun, wide-eyed, as he begins to realize what he's done.)
Xhalax: (gasping) Let me fall Aeryn.
Aeryn: No.
Xhalax: Do it. Let me go. I died a long time ago. You live - for me.

(Cut back to the miserable hotel room on Valldon. Aeryn has cast off her mourning rags and is finishing reassembling herself as a woman of the Peacekeepers. Pants, vest, hair pulled back into a tight braid. Weapons. The ghost of John is standing, looking out the window as she dresses.)
Aeryn: (watching the reflection of the ghost behind her in the mirror) Maybe -- I could have become something different. If you'd lived, I could have truly changed. But you are gone. And I am - (she holsters her pulse gun) - what I was bred to be.
John: Aeryn -- come here.
Aeryn: No. (There's a long pause.) You have to go now. (And after another long pause, she turns back to the mirror -- which gives back only her reflection. She is alone.)

SG1 6:19 - The Changeling

2011-12-19T06:41:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 7.7

This episode is artistically impressive and well-acted, and the plot-arc decision is clever, but it lacks the oomph of Threshold.

Plot Synopsis:

The full details can be found at the Stargate Wiki - this story sounds better on paper than what actually comes out on your DVD set.

The Skinny:

There were several really good decisions made in the course of scripting this episode:

The idea of giving the Jaffa an alternative to dependence on Goa'uld symbiotes was a necessary step toward their eventual codification of true resistance and independence in season eight. Some have criticize the "Tretonin" decision as too convenient and too easy to achieve, but I think you are dealing with something that was six years in the making and the product of a long and stressful alliance for the mutual benefit of the entire Milky Way...I find that we're picking too many nits if we can't accept some lucky breaks along the way in our storytelling.

The decision to bring Daniel back as Teal'c's sanity check and confidente was absolutely necessary to make this story carry any weight. If they couldn't get Michael Shanks for this, they couldn't do the episode. Jonas Quinn does not have the same intimate bond of fellowship with Teal'c that Daniel did before his ascension and this is precisely the kind of role Daniel should play while he's ascended.

Teal'c and Bra'tac are the logical choice to pair up in a battlefield survival situation where a symbiote must be shared - they each owe the other their lives a hundred times over. I just wish Bra'tac had played a more prominent role in the dream world (I wish we'd seen some fake flashbacks of the human-equivalent of their friendship and what it meant).

However, I think they whiffed a bit on the chance to see Teal'c really reflect on his life with the SGC. This could have been an updated version of Threshold, where Teal'c is once again near death do to symbiote withdrawal and relives the good and bad times he's shared with his SG-1 counterparts. Making him a firefighter in a world with which we are unfamiliar is creative, but it ultimately feels unrewarding. I don't think we really learned anything about Teal'c from this dream. Not to mention - although Teal'c has studied Earth and its culture - especially American culture - I don't think he can really relate to the life of a full time city firefighter, so the exact choice of dreams makes little sense.

In my opinion, this story should have been about Teal'c questioning whether all of his efforts to fight the Goa'uld had had any effect. He's on a battlefield with a thousand dead Jaffa around him and we don't really get much introspection from him about the meaning of his resistance and the need to keep on fighting? When he is rescued and put on Tretonin, it should feel, to the audience, like Teal'c has come to terms with his efforts - like he has rededicated himself to fighting for his people despite the many setbacks his campaign has faced. Wouldn't that have been nicely symmetric? Oma helped Daniel to realize that he couldn't control the vast evil in the galaxy - that he could only make himself a good person and do whatever was ion his power to make a difference. Wouldn't it have been cool if he'd played the same role for Teal'c?

All in all, this isn't a BAD episode, but it just doesn't really hit the mark emotionally or thematically for me despite its many good choices and artistic presentation.

Writing: 8.5

The script, despite thematic flaws, is clever and the presentation is giving it a boost, since it's so well done and eye-catching.

Acting: 8.5

Chris Judge does a pretty solid job conveying his confusion and frustration with the illusory world, but I think Michael Shanks was a bit flat, to be honest.

Message: 6.0

This is where the episode suffers...it doesn't send any coherent messages when the plot concept was an opportunity to send a big one.

Classics: B5 5:17 - Movements of Fire and Shadow

2011-12-18T13:53:00.000-08:00

Overall: 8.2

The middle episode of a trilogy is never as good as the episodes which proceed and follow it. Still, there is much to like here -- especially that nice cliff-hanger at the very end.

Plot Synopsis:

The Lurker's Guide discusses the details here.

The Skinny:

Regarding those aforementioned good parts, I think it's time to deploy a few bullet points:

First of all, I just have to point out Vir's genius. It's important to remember that without Vir's suspicion regarding the whole body exchange situation, Lyta and Franklin would not have discovered the Shadow tech on Drazi Prime. In other words, without Vir's quick thinking, the evidence which would've exonerated the Centauri if not for the Keeper would never have been uncovered. Vir for the win!
And speaking of Lyta, she is one scary badass now. I love the look on Franklin's face when Lyta telepathically forces a Drazi attacker to shoot himself in the head. "Holy crap!" he must've been thinking. "I'm glad she's on my side!"
There's also yet more Londo/G'Kar cuteness to enjoy. Naturally, Londo has just enough ego to suppose that "the people" would actually give two bleeps about his imprisonment. And naturally, G'Kar would judge the probability of Londo's hoped-for "popular uprising" to be vanishingly low and would have no trouble saying so. Without a doubt, the back-and-forth between these two is very funny -- and it's capped off by G'Kar's rather novel - and hilarious - plan to get Londo out of jail. Who knew the Narn could vomit on command?
Of course, the fact that Londo escapes doesn't really prevent his doom. The last scene - in which Londo realizes that Centauri Prime is completely and totally frelled - is a great lead-in for our next feature.

Overall, I enjoy watching this episode. Probably the only thing that's holding it back is the relative lack of a message. In the previous episode, we explore the sad reality of war and how it often crops up without all of the principal players wanting it. In the next episode, powerful themes of atonement and forgiveness dominate the story. But here? Here, the only thing you can take away is some very sensible advice: Don't make unnecessary enemies. Evil governments and evil people should be opposed, of course -- but if, like the Centauri, you behave in an aggressive and imperial manner in your dealings with other peaceful nations, you will ultimately get hit by the blow-back. It's proper to deplore the Narn and Drazi commanders' decision to go right for Centauri Prime -- but we must never forget the source of their resentment.

Writing: 9.0

This script is not quite as effective as the last (or the next), but it's still excellent.

Acting: 8.5

Here, we're treated to another solid slate of performances. Even Pat Tallman is better than usual (though still not great).

Message: 7.0

Eh. As I said above, the message in this episode is easily overshadowed by the themes tackled in the surrounding offerings.

NEW!: Grimm 1:7 - Let Your Hair Down

2011-12-17T23:25:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating:7.8

Monroe continues to be this show's strongest asset, providing a balanced, often hilarious, and generally charming perspective on the world of animal/human races in Grimm canon.

Plot Synopsis:

Nine years ago, a girl was abducted from her adoptive parents' home - she vanished, never to be heard from again. That is until a strange homicide in the woods outside of Mt. Hood National Park draws the attention of Nick. He finds some long female hairs at the crime scene and catches a glimpse of a bludbat nearby. When DNAS is run on the hair, they discover that it belongs to their nine-year-old cold case. Nick recruits Monroe to help him track the girl - who is also bludbaten - in the woods and they find her highly impressive tree house. Unfortunately, it turns out she killed because she was cornered by the unsavory drug-dealing bastard and shot with a hunting rifle. Nick goes to get help while Monroe cares for her using family medical secrets known, apparently, only to bludbaten.

Meanwhile, the drug-dealer's brothers, on realizing that their relation is dead, go looking for revenge and eventually find the girl's camp site as well. Putting two and two together, they threaten to kill her and Monroe before Nick can return, but she demonstrates her supernatural abilities and quickly dispatches the would-be gunmen. Monroe helps her reunite with her parents and reminds her of her human past. She will need his guidence to learn to control the bludbat within, but for now, at least her peodophilic former neighbor is going behind bars.

The Skinny:

As I said above, Monroe is the show's biggest asset. Thus far, his character is the only one that has stretched its way into the third dimension. But at least they're making good use of him as a sympathetic representative of his animal-infused race. I like that Grimm is making the Grimm Brothers' Demon / Human divide look much more complex. I like that the show's writers are able to tug at the heartstrings a little this week (it really is a very sweet conclusion...other than the somewhat scary look on the poor girl's face when she identifies her former neighbor in a line-up...yikes!) and I am glad Monroe is so well thought-out. But...can we get some depth out of Nick, Juliette, Franklin, etc? Because as it stands right now...the show depends entirely on Monroe's humorous, good-natured style and quirks to make it work...and it won't last with that model.

Writing: 7.5

This one doesn't zing quite as sharply as the previous one, but it is filled with pathos, and that always leads to a strong showing on this blog.

Acting: 7.0

I didn't see any truly stand-out performances, but their guest-star did a solid job as did Monroe.

Message: 9.0

It's worth pointing out that in her natural "wild child" state, the helpless little bludbat girl didn't turn into a demonic animal-thing...she only killed when she was cornered and threatened with death. I am wondering how many Grimms before Nick just killed bludbaten without giving a thought to whether they'd done anything to merit such a punishment other than being different? At the very least, this Grimm is living by a better code.

Classics: DS9 6:23 - Profit and Lace

2011-12-16T21:59:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 0.5

Yes...you read that right. Zero. Point. F***ing. Five. This is hands down the worst pile of crap that Deep Space Nine ever produced. Worse than Melora, worse than Meridian, worse than Let He Who is Without Sin...worse than all of them.

Plot Synopsis:

You really don't need to click this link to get the basic plot. All you need to do to get this one is...um...picture the most sexist, clumsy, unfunny possible interpretation of Quark in a fraggin' dress and you've got it. This...right here..is the ultimate reducto ad absurdem for when staff writers get so comfortable with their jobs that they stop caring in the least what their audience likes or whether their ideas make sense as long as they themselves think what they wrote was funny.

The Skinny:

Oh let me count the ways that this episode is horrendous.

The ridiculous notion that the Ferengi could ever exist and be space-faring people with an advanced economy and culture that has the notable flaw of NOT MAKING ANY DAMNED SENSE has never seemed so ludicrous as it does after watching this episode. How can a race that supposedly survives on intelligence, guile, and acquisition be SO F***ING STUPID?? I mean REALLY...come ON now Behr and co...do you really think Americans (who you say the Ferengi represent) are that dumb? How disgustingly elitist can you get?
While you're touting your progressive view that capitalism is innately illogical and its practitioners are literally so dumb that they can't figure out what gender everyone is, you manage to set progressive goals like feminism and gender equality back a good two centuries. Look down your noses at us stupid capitalists in America all you want, but your script is fundamentally IDIOTIC, as well as fundamentally SEXIST. Let's START with the notion that gender change - real, substantive character change driven by gender - can be achieved simply with surgery and hormones. Every feminist in America ought to be hunting you down so they can slap the crap out of you for such stupidity. Even I...who believes what progressives do not (that the genders are biologically, psychologically, and emotionally different and are endowed with different statistical strengths and weaknesses, different but roughly equal)...know that gender is not created by hormones and dangling vs. concave sex organs, but by the fundamentally different brain wiring that COMES from those different hormones IN THE WOMB, not to mention the years of social conditioning, the wholesale physical differences (far beyond the sex organs themselves), etc that come from different genes.
While we're working on the stupidity of this script...and its inherent sexism...let's stop and think about what some of these lines imply about women and men. Even if you were to accept the dubious notion that organs and hormones controlled gender, the suggestion is made by the ham-handed writing and acting that takes place throughout the story that female Quark is considerably more irrational, more emotional, less capable of taking care of herself, and less confident than her male counterparts in the story. They play her for the unwitting (and lucky) fool...using the male Quark's knowledge of finance and her female sex appeal to convince the Sluggo Cola magnate to back Zek's pro-female agenda. That's right...male Quark is smart...female Quark is only good for getting f***ed on the first date and whining like an idiot.
But the fun don't stop there. Behr apparently does not understand politics at all. Since WHEN does convincing ONE person of the wisdom of a radically different political agenda - no matter how influential that person may be - ever produce a lasting political change on this scale? If things really worked this way, there would have been no civil war. Lincoln could have convinced Lee mano a mano that slavery was doing his Southern states no good and BAM...instant civil rights! Well hot damn! I guess Martin Luther King Jr. is still alive too, eh? Since no one could possibly kill one soda magnate who backed the wrong side...could they?

This is just...AWEFUL. There is NOTHING redeeming about it...not one damned thing. The plot makes no sense, shows the kind of open contempt for the characters, the audience and the continuity of Trek that becomes much more common on Voyager and Enterprise, achieves a goal that it shouldn't achieve, and is quite frankly an ugly expression of both elitism and moral bankruptcy...and all tied to abject ignorance and stupidity. This one episode is great cause for me to lose my respect for the ENTIRE CANON that is DS9. If it weren't for the fact that it produced largely episodes far far FAAAARRR exceeding this in virtue, style, substance, and character...if I'd seen this one bad episode in any other genre, I'd never have watched another. Ever. And I wouldn't regret it. It is THAT awful.

Writing: 0.0

Find any writing in this episode that demonstrates the skill of, say, a high school freshman in creative writing class. Go on, I dare ya.

Acting: 1.5

It's funny, really. All of these actors are actually really good normally...but in this episode, they all put in hilariously over-the-top amateurish high school drama class performances as a unit...I've never seen so many good actors perform so poorly all at once.

Message: 0.0

Not only does this episode intentionally try to be meaningless...but it FAILS at being meaningless and is instead full of twisted, ignorant meaning that illustrates the monstrous lack of character in Hollywood today.

LOWLIGHTS:

As I typically do with horrendous episodes of a classic canon, I'm going to preserve the unforgivably terrible dialogue for posterity with my jeers attached.

(Cut for length.)

Aaaand...we'll start at the beginning, with Quark literally propositioning his perfect employee for sex in the cheesiest way EVER.

QUARK: The customers love you! Your fellow Dabo girls love you. Even the Ferengi waiters sing your praises. And you know why? Because you're nice!

ALUURA: I try to be.

QUARK: And it shows! You're nice to the customers, you're nice to the Dabo girls, you're nice to everyone. Well...almost everyone.

ALUURA: Do you mean there's someone I've offended?

QUARK: Look closely, dear. Can't you see the pain in my eyes?

ALUURA: But I'm always nice to you.

QUARK: I think...you could be nicer. (uuuuuuuuuuugh...you know the worst thing about this? WE LIKE QUARK! He's not like that! He may CLAIM to be a typical Ferengi, but he almost never actually acts like one! What the hell, Behr? You work so hard to make him the devious little bastard with a heart of gold and then you do THIS?)

QUARK: She's probably off visiting the Negas.

ROM: I tried the Tower of Commerce - no answer there either!

QUARK: They're probably off on vacation!

ROM: Brother, you don't understand! I can't get through to anyone on Ferenginar. Not Gala, not Lek...I tell you something is very wrong!

QUARK: Alright! We will continue this at a later time. In the meantime, you have some reading to do.

ROM: Hi, Lora!

LORA: Hi...(smiling uncomfortably)

ROM: She's so nice...

QUARK: We'll see. (oh...my...God...this is going to hurt)

ROM: The Negas, our moogie, Gala...they're all dead!

QUARK: We don't know that, Rom...but something is definitely wrong on Ferenginar.

SISKO: We'll see what we can find out.

DAX: Captain a ~~conveniently timed~~ Ferengi ship is approaching the station and requesting permission to dock. It's Grand Negas Zek...and you're mother is with him.

ROM: THEY'RE ALIVE!!!!!!! (oh GOOOOOODIE!!!!) Nice work! (really...really, Rom?)

ISHKA: Tell 'em, Zekkie...

ZEK: No no, you go ahead.

ISHKA: No, it should really come from you. (GET ON WITH IT and stop this completely hideous attempt at cutesiness!!)

ZEK: Three days ago, I added an amendment to the Ferengi Bill of Opportunities granting females the right to wear clothes.

QUARK: In public...?

ISHKA: Anywhere we want.

QUARK: That can't be the good news. If females can wear clothes, then they can leave their homes. If they can leave their homes, they can go to work. If they can go to work then they can earn profit!

ISHKA: What's the matter, Quark? Afraid of a little competition? (cue chicken clucking noises)

ZEK: Face it, Quark. It's good business. For thousands of years, the Ferengi Alliance has ignored a vaaaaaaaast resource! (said all "cutely" again)

QUARK: Females? A valuable resource? (*headSLAMdesk*)

ZEK: Females comprise 53.4% of the population and contribute virtually nothing to the planetary income. I think it's time they started pulling their weight!

ROM: Well it sounds good to me!

ISHKA: See, there's a reason I like him better. (what a horrible mother...you taught Quark the Rules of Acquisition...he grew up believing what he does now in part because of you...and you hate your own son for it...go to hell, Ishka)

QUARK: Better tell me the bad news. It might cheer me up.

ISHKA: I seriously doubt it.

ZEK: As soon as clothed females started appearing on the streets of Ferenginar, financial chaos erupted. (hey...realism!...but don't worry...it won't last)

QUARK: Who's gonna replace you?

ZEK: Who do you think?

QUARK: Brunt.

ROM: Grand Negas Brunt?

ZEK: (ready?) ACTING Grand Negas Brunt. (yeah...get used to that line...it's gonna get said about seven billion more times)

QUARK: I still can't believe it. Brunt is the new Nagus?
ZEK: Acting Nagus. (ugh)
QUARK: For three more days. Then it becomes official.
ZEK: I'm not worried. I have a secret weapon. Your mother. Now here's the plan. One, we contact every FCA Commissioner and invite them to the station for a meeting. Two, Ishka runs the meeting.
QUARK: Oh, they'll love that.
ZEK: Maybe not at first, but she'll win them over. Using her vast financial knowledge and her keen instinct for profit, she'll prove once and for all that allowing females to wear clothing is the first step toward a healthier and more prosperous Ferengi economy. And three. What was three again, my dear?
ISHKA: The FCA Commissioners reinstate you as Nagus. (really...that's the part he forgot????)
ZEK: And who can ask for a happier ending than that.
ISHKA: But that's only the beginning, lobekins. I predict that one day, a female will enter the Tower of Commerce, climb the forty flights of stairs to the Chamber of Opportunity, and take her rightful place as Grand Nagus of the Ferengi Alliance.
QUARK: Don't look at me. It was your amendment. (uuuuugh!!!!)

ISHKA: Well, the news isn't all bad. The Commissioner who's agreed to come. It's Nilva.
QUARK: The Chairman of Slug-o-Cola.
ISHKA: He's a very powerful and influential voice within the FCA.
ZEK: Unfortunately, he's a influential voice for the status quo.
ROM: I don't think Slug-o-Cola has changed it's advertising slogan in three hundred years. Drink Slug-o-Cola.
ALL: The slimiest cola in the galaxy. (alright...THIS...was actually kind of funny)

ZEK: Well, it's a start, at least.
ISHKA: See? I told you it was too early to panic.
BRUNT: Care to place a wager on that?
(Enter the new Nagus with his own Hupyrian servant.)
ROM: Grand Nagus Brunt.
ZEK: Acting Grand Nagus Brunt. (*sigh*)
ISHKA: Now you can panic. (really...just because he showed up??)

BRUNT: I'll take an Eelwasser. No ice.
ZEK: What are you doing here, Brunt?
BRUNT: That's Grand Nagus Brunt.
ISHKA: Acting Grand Nagus.
(Uri'lash and Maihar'du glare at each other.)
BRUNT: Would someone please tell that female to take off those clothes. It's disgusting.
ISHKA: Get used to it, limp lobes. This is the future.
BRUNT: Over my dead body.
ZEK: If that's what it takes.
ROM: I don't suppose you're here to reminisce about the time you helped my brother and me rescue Moogie from the Dominion.
BRUNT: You're right. That's not why I'm here. Though I find it ironic that helping to rescue your mother was the first step on my road to becoming Nagus.
ISHKA: Don't remind me.
ZEK: I never should have given you your job back with the FCA.
BRUNT: But you did. And as a Liquidator, I was able to bribe my way back into a position of power.
ROM: That is ironic.
BRUNT: Face it, Zek, it's over. You're finished. Bankrupt. I'm going to liquidate you. Cancel that Eelwasser and get me a Slug-o-Cola instead. On second thought, I'll just wait till Chairman Nilva gets here. I'm sure he'll be happy to provide his new Nagus with all the Slug-o-Cola I can drink.
ROM: How did you know Nilva was coming here?
BRUNT: Because it's my business to know. Go on, have your little meeting. Whatever you offer Nilva, I'll double it.
QUARK: That's it. Get out of my bar.
BRUNT: You dare threaten your Nagus?
QUARK: Acting Nagus. You may liquidate us tomorrow, but right now this is still my establishment. Now get out before I kick you out.
BRUNT: I'm going to make you a pauper. Uri'lash, we're leaving. Say goodbye to these poor people.
QUARK: Out. (this is just...so...cheesy...my arteries can't take it...)

ISHKA: What's the matter, Quark? Are you afraid you picked the wrong side? You can always go crawling to Brunt, beg his forgiveness.
QUARK: I don't want anything to do with Brunt. I want my old Nagus back.
ISHKA: Do you.
QUARK: I want Zek to be the way he used to be, before he met you, before you twisted his thinking with your feminine wiles.
ISHKA: Before he met me, Zek was a lonely, unhappy man.
QUARK: But he was rich. He was the most powerful Ferengi alive. Now what is he? A puppet. And you're the one pulling the strings, making him dance to your evil, feminist tune. You're the worst thing that ever happened to Zek. You're the worst thing that ever happened to me. In fact, you're the worst thing that ever happened to the entire Ferengi Alliance.
ISHKA: Maybe I am, but at least I'm not like you. A selfish, spineless, ungrateful
QUARK: Don't forget miserable.
ISHKA: Miserable excuse for a son!
QUARK: Is that the best you can do?
ISHKA: I haven't even begun. You should be ashamed of yourself. Why, you are nothing but a. Why, you are, you
QUARK: Go ahead. Say it.
ISHKA: You're a
QUARK: I'm still waiting.
ISHKA: You're a. You're a. You're a
QUARK: A what!
(Ishka suddenly falls backwards onto the floor.)
QUARK: Moogie. Moogie? Moogie! Moogie. Moogie. Moogie! (sooo...cornball...)

ROM: Doctor, how's Moogie?
QUARK: Will she live?
BASHIR: Oh yes, she'll live. She needed a new heart and it's functioning normally. But she's going to need a few days complete rest. And she'll need to be kept far away from him.
ZEK: And why is that, Doctor?
BASHIR: I'm not sure exactly. All I do know is that she keeps repeating the same phrase over and over. It's all Quark's fault. It's all Quark's fault. (wow)

ROM: We're doomed.
ZEK: No, we're not. You think if Ishka were here she'd give up?
ROM: If she were here, we wouldn't have a problem.
ZEK: That's not my point. Your mother would never accept defeat. If she couldn't find another female, she'd, she'd, she'd
ROM: She'd what?
ZEK: She'd make one.
QUARK: You mean a hologram?
ZEK: Better than a hologram.
QUARK: What could be better than a hologram?
ZEK: You.

ROM: Doctor Bashir certainly did a wonderful job on you. I'd call the operation a complete success.
LEETA: It must have been a very delicate procedure.
QUARK: (soft voice.) Tell me about it.
LEETA: There.
(Now Lady Quark is revealed.)
QUARK: Well, how do I look?
LEETA: You look nice.
QUARK: Nice? That's all?
ROM: Very nice.
ZEK: You may look like a female but you have to do something about that voice.
QUARK: I'm trying! I mean, I'm trying.
ZEK: Well, try harder.
LEETA: And stop looking down.
QUARK: I need to see what I look like. Someone get me a mirror.
(Maihar'du gets a cheval mirror from behind a curtain.)
ROM: You see, brother? You look lovely.
(Quark bursts into tears.)
LEETA: There go his hormones.
ROM: You mean, her hormones.
QUARK: Take it away, take it away. I'm sorry. I just feel so different.
LEETA: Would you stop staring at your chest.
QUARK: I'm not staring at my chest, I'm staring at my hips. Aren't they too big? (oh good lord!...the INSTANT he's female...he can't control his emotions, he cares only about his bodily appearance, and he affects a lighter tone of voice? What kind of women does Behr know in real life?!?!)

QUARK: Female apparel for a new source of latinum for a new Ferenginar. Hypicate cream for smooth skin and healthier profits. All these facts and figures. They're too much for me to remember. (oh my GOD!!...not only is he an emotional wreck...he acts like a f***ing bimbo??????????)
ZEK: Oh, nonsense. You just need a little time to practice your presentation.
LEETA: And while you're at it, we need to practice your walk.
QUARK: What's wrong with my walk?
LEETA: You're lumbering.
QUARK: This is never going to work.
ROM: Don't cry, Brother. Here, let me show you. Watch carefully. (does a ladylike walk) You see? It's more of a glide.
LEETA: That's good.
ROM: And when you sit, make sure your knees are touching. And don't forget to relax your shoulders, but keep your bottom tight. (again...what the hell kind of women does Behr know...do they really still emphasize the way they walk?!?!)
(Leeta looks worried.)
ROM: What?
QUARK: He's the one who should be wearing the dress.
ROM: Why me?
LEETA: You're so adorable, and complicated. (oh SPEW)

QUARK: I can do this. Its only one meeting. I can be a female for one meeting, can't I? (really? No confidence either, ey?)
LEETA: Not if you're lumbering.
QUARK: I'll conduct the meeting sitting down.
ROM: Tighten your bottom.
ZEK: (stroking Quark's thigh) I think you're doing wonderfully, my dear. I'm proud of you. (slap) I'm sorry. You know, you may walk like a man, but you make a very attractive female. Confusing, isn't it? (it sure as hell is...what guy has ever been INSTANTLY attracted to a woman they KNOW to have had gender change surgery?)

ZEK: You'd better start memorising those notes.
LEETA: First, we need to practice your walking.
ROM: And your sitting.
ZEK: And you'd better work on that voice.
QUARK: Any other comments?
ZEK: Has anyone ever told you that you have lovely eyes? (Can I please curl up and die now instead of continuing this??)

I have one technical question...why does Nilva, immediately after arriving, seem to know where he's going? He tells Nog to lead the way to Zek and then barges into corridors as if he knows the station backwards and forwards?)

LEETA: Let's try it again.
(Quark enters, glides across the floor and sits nicely.)
QUARK: My name is Lumba. You must be Chairman Nilva. Zek has told me so much about you. Ow.
LEETA: What's wrong now?
QUARK: It's these earrings. They're killing me. Do I have to wear them?
ROM: No woman is complete without earrings. Why does everyone keep looking at me? (um...because you are being played both as gay (which we know you're not...and a chauvinist - no woman is complete without earrings??)

NILVA: Oh, a clothed Ferengi female. And with your approval, no less. Either you've been inhaling too much beetle snuff or you're the greatest visionary ever to sit atop the Tower of Commerce.
ZEK: Well, why don't you and I have dinner tonight and try to figure it out. We can go to Quark's and get some nice, juicy snail steaks. You can meet with Lumba tomorrow.
NILVA: I'm afraid that's not possible. You see, I have to leave first thing in the morning. I'm due back on Ferenginar for an important stockholders meeting. Oh, but those snail steaks do sound tempting. I know. Why don't I have dinner with Lumba?
QUARK: With me?
ZEK: Won't you feel uncomfortable being seen in public with a clothed female?
NILVA: Well of course I will, but you and I have made a lot of latinum together over the years. That should be worth some small discomfort. But Lumba better be all you claim she is, or I'll have to liquidate you myself. Let's eat. (and they send Quarkina off to be a sex slave for fun and profit...what a touching moment)
ROM: Have fun.(yyyyyyyep...and if you do, that'll make ONE of us)

NILVA: Let me see if I understand. Giving females the right to wear clothes allows them to have pockets. Once they have pockets, they're going to want to fill them with latinum.
QUARK: Which means they're going to need jobs.
NILVA: And once they start earning latinum, they're going to want to spend it.
QUARK: Which means Ferenginar will be expanding its work force and its consumer base at the same time.
NILVA: There will be plenty of profit for everyone.
QUARK: When it comes to profit, I'm your girl (I'm pretty sure I just threw up a little bit)

QUARK: Let me see. Slug-o-Cola contains forty three percent live algae, right?
NILVA: In every bottle.
QUARK: Well, how about something like, Drink Slug-o-Cola and keep your teeth a sparkling shade of green.
NILVA: Oh, Zek was right about you. You're very intelligent.
QUARK: For a female?
NILVA: I think it's time for dessert now.
QUARK: Good idea. (Nilva stands and offers his hand.) I thought we were going to have dessert?
NILVA: Oh, we are. In my quarters. (oh yes...not only is Lumba intelligent...for a female...she knows how to f*** her way to the top...because what liberated woman WOULDN'T want to do that...)

NILVA: It's so good to finally be alone. Without all those people staring at us.
(Quark takes off his heels, backing away.)
NILVA: Although I must admit, I did find it someone stimulating.
(Nilva chases Quark round the table.)
QUARK: Maybe a little too stimulating.
NILVA: Can I help it if my lobes burn for you? If you don't believe me, just touch them. Touch them.
QUARK: I'll take your word for it.
NILVA: You said you'd do anything for me.
QUARK: I lied. (I died...so we're almost the same)

NILVA: Marry me!
QUARK: I don't think your wife would approve.
NILVA: Who cares? She hasn't touched my lobes in months.
QUARK: I can tell.
NILVA: Oh, I need you.
QUARK: What you need is a cold shower.
NILVA: What a good idea. Why, you can scrub my back.
QUARK: What if
NILVA: Yes?
QUARK: I told you
NILVA: Yes?
QUARK: I hate Slug-o-Cola.
NILVA: So do I.
(Nilva gets the chair off Quark.)
NILVA: Oh, you torture me.
QUARK: Stay away.
(Quark climbs on a table.)
NILVA: Stay away or what?
QUARK: Or I'll jump.
NILVA: I'll catch you. (this has to be seen to be disbelieved properly...my oh my is this stupid)

NILVA: Is this true? You're a man?
QUARK: Do I look like a man?
BRUNT: Nice try, Quark, but it's not going to work. He's the station's bartender.
QUARK: Don't listen to him, hot lobes. I'm as female as they come and I'll prove it to you.
(Quark kisses Nilva.)
QUARK: Well?
NILVA: Well, I'm not sure.
QUARK: Oh, all right.
(With his back to us, Quark opens his dress to show Nilva his full monty.) (completing the horror that is this episode from the perspective of a feminist...to complete the deal, they must all see your vagina)
QUARK: Now are you sure?
NILVA: Oh, completely.
BRUNT: I tell you that is not a female.
NILVA: Well, she's close enough for me. Come, my dear. Let's go tell Zek that I'm going to do everything in my power to make sure he remains Grand Nagus.
BRUNT: But why?
NILVA: Because that's what Lumba wants. (I'm actually insulted as a man...ignore the feminist's torment here...they really think men are that penis-whipped? Their brains turn off at the mere SIGHT of a smart, attractive?...woman they just met?)

ODO: Interesting ring.
QUARK: It was a gift. Poor Nilva. Such a lovely man, but so lonely.
ODO: Really?
QUARK: There was a sweetness to him, and also a strength. Sometimes he'd get this little glint in his eye. You know what I mean.
ODO: Not really, but I'm glad you had a pleasant evening.
QUARK: You're mocking me, aren't you?
ODO: And you're being a little overly sensitive.
QUARK: I've only been a male again for six hours. My hormones must still be out of balance. My emotions are raging out of control.
ODO: Is there anything I can do?
QUARK: Would you mind giving me a hug?
ODO: A hug?
QUARK: Just a small one.
(Odo nods, Quark rushes into his arms, crying.)
QUARK: Thank you. (just wow...)

ALUURA: I read the book.
QUARK: What book?
ALUURA: You know, Oo-mox for Fun and
QUARK: You shouldn't be wasting your time reading that kind of trash.
ALUURA: But you told me to.
QUARK: Forget what I told you. It was wrong and I apologise. You are a wonderful employee and I'm lucky to have you working for me. In fact, as of today, I'm giving you a raise. Another two slips of latinum a week.
ALUURA: Really?
QUARK: It's the least I can do.
ALUURA: That's too bad.
QUARK: All right, make it three.
ALUURA: No, it's not that.
QUARK: Then what?
ALUURA: It's just that Oo-mox sounded like fun. The tympanic tickle, the eustachian tube rub, the auditory nerve nibble. But if that's the way you feel about it.
QUARK: That is exactly the way I feel about it.
(Aluura leaves him.)
QUARK: What am I saying? Aluura? Wait. (aaaaand...status quo returns...such as it is...I can finally go and find that shotgun I've been saving for this review...when you think of me...try to remember me fondly...goodbye cruel world!!!!)

NEW!: Terra Nova 1:10 - Within

2011-12-15T23:06:00.000-08:00

Overall: 2.5

Aw, screw it. Unless something awesome and totally unexpected happens in next week's finale, I won't be reviewing this show next season.

Plot Synopsis:

FOX.com has a recap here.

The Skinny:

A few weeks ago, I promised I'd drop this series like a hot potato if the writers started force-feeding us propaganda -- and now it looks like I'll have to make good on that promise. Now that Lucas has confirmed that his corporate employers do intend to strip-mine Terra Nova, I can no longer ignore the irredeemable stupidity of this show's radical environmentalist subtext. And you know what? I am genuinely disappointed that it has come to this.

Granted, it was probably foolish to hope for some nuance in the writing -- but I honestly thought the complexities of the circumstances would be obvious even to your typical Hollywood hack. As I noted in my last review, Terra Nova's selection process appears to heavily favor the affluent, the educated, and/or the well-connected. It seems highly unlikely that a street rat would be lucky enough to grab a spot on a pilgrimage -- and shouldn't that bother someone on the writing staff? Talk about the 1% frelling the 99%! Occupy Terra Nova! But seriously: Why should the needs of the people of Terra Nova take precedence over the needs of the millions of unfortunate people left behind in 2149? What makes Taylor and his colonists so damned special anyway?

And by the way, Taylor isn't a god. He's a man -- and if he's a man, he has to be wrong about many, many things. So why is it that the only people questioning Taylor's autocracy are a shady Australian and Taylor's psychopathic son? That seems to me to be a huge violation of the rules of good storytelling. Really, in a colony Terra Nova's size, disagreements should be cropping up on a daily basis. That Terra Nova's inhabitants all seem devoted to their Dear Leader and hap-hap-happy is creepy, not realistic.

So yeah: My general indifference in re: Terra Nova is now turning into active hatred -- and as I remarked above, I won't be returning next year unless the writers' idiocy is miraculously cured.

Writing: 0.0

The motivations of Taylor's opponents are insultingly ridiculous. I could do better, and I have no experience whatsoever when it comes to writing teleplays.

Acting: 7.5

The acting is the only element of this episode that is even remotely good.

Message: 0.0

Ow! Your eco-lefty two-by-four has given me a headache.

NEW!: Once Upon a Time 1:7 - The Heart is a Lonely Hunter

2011-12-14T20:35:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 9.0

Whoa! Dude....naaaawwww....Regina moves from evil to holy s*** OMGWTFBBQ!! evil...and um...wow did this story take a dramatic turn all of a sudden.

Plot Synopsis:

Wikipedia has a good summary of the freaky events of this week here, but don't read it til you watch, because THIS one shouldn't be spoiled!

The Skinny:

Watching this episode was an emotional roller coaster for me...first I was excited for the flashback reveal, then I desperately wanted to HATE the episode for having the lead character say that one night stands were nothing to feel guilty about, then I saw where they were actually going with the story...or thought I did (and was shocked and delighted to be proven wrong), then I (not quite literally) crapped my pants when they busted out the big reveal at the end. WOW...they took the curse way WAY more literally than I ever imagined they would. You mean to tell me the Mayor/Queen actually has the hearts of fairy tale characters in her father's crypt? The still-beating magical hearts...like...forrealz?!?!

Pardon the degeneration of my speech for a moment, but I thought I had this show figured out. I rather liked the idea that real world problems in this sad little town could be looked at as mirror images of a fairy tale world with which we are all already familiar. The show could have been the writers' attempt to make us see the overly obvious morals and cardboard characters of fairy tale lore in a whole new light with added depth. For that to work, I expected the real world to play by real world rules, other than the mere existence of the curse and the unreal backgrounds of the characters. I thought the happy endings would be made real when they were restored by human means, while the fairy tale world was filled with magic. I thought for sure that inside Regina's crypt, the Huntsman would find his heart in a metaphorical sense...that he would break his bond with Regina (which he did) in a human way...and that Regina, in a human way, would destroy him for it. The crypt could have, for example, contained a vault filled with various types of poison or paperwork she could use to destroy those in her thrall the old fashioned way. But no! We got...a magical heart-thingy that when crushed would literally kill you. I think we went a leeeeeetle bit too far down the tracks on the literal express and straight on past common sense into WTF junction.

Now, the argument could be made that the evil queen, in the fairy tale world, would want to set up a system within her curse where she would maintain control over those she'd enslaved. And I would agree, except that everything magical seems to have been removed from the real world (other than the time-stopping and the missing birds and insects and the border through which no one can cross lest bad things befall them)...why would her method of enslavement not take on Earthly form too? Can she do other kinds of magic? Or just the ones that are convenient to the plot?

And yet...despite that very real objection to this episode...it was friggin' AWESOME.

The whole conversation between Snow White and Emma that I wanted to despise at first makes complete sense now from a moral perspective. Snow was right...Emma has that fundamentally broken philosophy about sex and relationships because she is damaged and trying to run from that fact. The same is true of the Huntsman until he finds his place in the world (and then dies to keep it). It now seems to me that they were making a real-world argument against the kind of meaningless sex that now pervades our culture. And that is just item one on a list of reasons to love this episode from the standpoint of its message. Other reasons include:

Regina's primary weakness as a character...the reason she went evil in the first place and now continues to fall further and further into darkness and misery...is that she wants to own her entire world. Literally. Not even in the Hitler tradition of ruling aspirations, she literally wants to have direct possession of everything she fancies. From the title of "fairest of them all" to a string of boy toys to possess. You see it when Graham comes to her at night and kisses her passionately (from confusion)...her first reaction to this apparent show of emotion is disgust, followed by amusement, and then power...and nowhere in there is a human emotion like compassion. All it is to her...is power. And the show seems to take great pains to show just how impossible it is to truly own another human being.
The show is moving us away from Emma's (and our own) skepticism about the reality and direct tangibility of the curse and into a phase where Emma will now fight the queen directly because she is forced to believe everything her son tells her about Regina's total lack of real love for him, if not every literal word about the curse.
The way in which Regina's real-world evil (right up until the aforementioned heart-crushing shocker at the end) is expressed is filled with all of the manipulative, self-serving faux-emotionalism of evil-doers in the real world (the one outside this silly TV show, I mean. :) ). She tries everything here to keep Graham. She tries to intimidate Emma, she tries to show fake compassion for him, she tries back-handed meddling, she even tries getting violent with Emma and ordering Graham around like he's a lost child. If you're unwary, you might misread any of these things as real caring...some sign that Regina is not beyond redemption. But a skilled student of human nature can see the deception and peel back the layers covering the devilish psychopath beneath. Watching all of those layers in one episode makes me skin crawl. Which is awesome.

Anyway...despite the flaw in the writing...and it will be hard to convince me it's not a flaw...this episode rises to the feature level with phenomenal acting and an out-of-this-world message about the value of living virtuously and taking a more difficult road if it means being free.

Writing: 7.5

I have to ding the script for its heavy-handed ending...it was rocking along at feature-level right up until the end.

Acting: 9.5

Even some of the regular cast that put in a lot of over-the-top performances before this week were outstanding. Regina continues to steal the show...her brand of evil is chilling to the bone.

Message: 10.0

See above...I feel very comforted about the moral direction of this franchise. Bravo!

Classics: Farscape 3:16 - Revenging Angel

2011-12-13T23:41:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.3

Okaaaaay. That was weird.

Plot Synopsis:

The Farscape Wiki has a recap here.

The Skinny:

Generally speaking, I like - and sometimes even love - crack. But I think I'm having trouble embracing the crack in this particular instance because the frame story makes D'Argo look psychotic. The extreme tantrum that puts John into his coma comes from nowhere in particular -- and the fit that results in the loss of D'Argo's qualta blade is equally nonsensical. Personally, I consider it a bad sign for the writing when Stark - who is genuinely insane - comes off looking more intelligible than his Luxan ally.

This episode is not without its virtues, however. The scene in which Jool admits she messed with D'Argo's ship because she simply wanted to make friends is actually rather nice. Meanwhile, the internal battle between John and Harvey over whether revenge is actually life sustaining or life destroying reaches a thematically appropriate conclusion when John dispenses with Harvey's ideas and decides to live for Aeryn's sake. And yes -- the cartoons are rather cute. Never let it be said that I can't appreciate a good homage.

Writing: 5.0

D'Argo's characterization is quite poor, so I must give the script a "weak" rating.

Acting: 6.5

Overall, the performances are merely par for this cast.

Message: 7.5

I'm giving the episode a positive bump for rejecting vengeance as a means to deal with confrontation.

Classics: SG-1 6:18 - The Forsaken

2011-12-12T20:51:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 4.0

ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Plot Synopsis:

We find an alien craft on a planet and it seems like the human-like folks are under attack by aggressive prisoners...but WWHHHUUUUUU?!?!? The prisoners were political prisoners and even though they look scary...they're good guys?! Where have I seen THAT story before? Don't bother watching...show's over...nothing to see here.

The Skinny:

I can't write multiple paragraphs here in summary, so I'll return to the CLASSIC format (how's that for a little throwback!

Writing: 2.0

Boring...boring...boring...BORING.

Acting: 5.0

Boring acting too...no one seems into this one...except RDA, who is always awesome.

Message: 5.0

Not that I disagree with the notion of not judging a book by its cover. I do, however, disagree with 2X4s as delivery methods of well-traveled messages either.

Classics: B5 5:16 - And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder

2011-12-11T23:09:00.000-08:00

By the way, a note: The process of re-watching this final season of Babylon 5 has forced me to reassess. Reflecting upon it now, I don't think the fifth season is the weakest season; that dishonor actually goes to the first. True -- as I noted two posts ago, the Byron plot does suck hose water. But the plots that run alongside Byron's arc are okay-to-great when examined in isolation.

I don't regret hitting the fast forward button, though; after all, that decision has allowed me to get to Londo's fitting end that much sooner. And speaking of which --

Overall: 9.0

Although this episode doesn't rise to the tier one level, it still communicates the tension and sorrow surrounding the Centauri crisis quite marvelously.

Plot Synopsis:

The Lurker's Guide has a summary here.

The Skinny:

The highlights section below would be a hell of a lot longer if 1) I had more time these days to devote to transcription and 2) I knew how to create video clips, as there are a number of great scenes here that really need to be seen to be appreciated. On my mind in particular is that moment in the council room in which Londo sees Lennier's video recording for the first time; Peter Jurasik's facial expression there is absolutely superb. There's also that scene in which Vir is threatened by a mob of pissed off Brakiri; all I can say is, it's a good thing Dr. Franklin is there to drive off said mob, as Vir probably would not have been able to defend himself if he were alone (the poor thing).

But let us unpack this episode on a character-by-character basis so we can begin to appreciate just how good it is:

Garibaldi. JMS has been dropping hints all along that Garibaldi's fall off the wagon will play a role in the unfolding Centauri crisis -- and here, it all comes to a head as Garibaldi picks a most inopportune time to go on a bender and thus fails to prevent the start of a shooting war between the Centauri and the Alliance. Remember what I said in the last post regarding Garibaldi's body count? This is what I was referring to. And do I think it's believable? Yes, actually. As I suggested before, the desire for revenge is an extremely destructive emotion; I absolutely think it would drive a recovering alcoholic back to the bottle. Oh, and by the way, that scene in which Zack confronts Garibaldi about his drinking - which I didn't have time to transcribe, unfortunately - is remarkably realistic. Addicts do lash out and attack you personally if you try to intervene.
Sheridan and Delenn. It makes perfect sense for Our Heroes to balk when it becomes apparent that their idealism will have to give way to cold, hard reality. But I think Sheridan and Delenn hesitate to declare war on the Centauri for yet another reason: They know that something's not right here. If Londo - the most powerful Centauri in the universe save the Regent - has been locked out of his own government's machinations, they reason, then there is definitely something afoot that we are all missing.
Vir. The full extent of Vir's awesomeness will become more apparent in the next episode, but you can still see glimpses of it here. For example, when Londo decides to return to Centauri Prime, I love how Vir, ever loyal, insists on going with him. I also love that Vir, after absorbing all the evidence presented in the council room, is willing to entertain the possibility that his government is responsible for the attacks on the shipping lanes. If Vir is nothing else, he is an unfailingly honest patriot.
Londo and G'Kar. Alsdkjfladkfjlaskdjlkasdjf. THESE TWO. In case you haven't noticed this by now, shipping Londo and G'Kar is one of my guilty pleasures. I mean, really: They spend this entire episode competing to see who can sacrifice the most for the other. And even though everything is currently going to crap, they still manage to bring the funny with their banter. Londo/G'Kar forever!

In the end? Just about everything - from Londo's early confrontation with Zack to Delenn's mournful speech at the close - contributes to the overall feeling that "we are so screwed." And that's why this is a borderline feature.

Writing: 9.5

There is little in this script that is unnecessary -- and as I stated above, the story is quite compelling.

Acting: 8.5

The performances just miss the feature mark, but there are many scenes here that are close to outstanding in quality.

Message: 9.0

The tragedy of war is especially well conveyed.

Highlights:

LONDO: Hello, G'Kar.
G'KAR: Mollari.
LONDO: Have you come here to drop off your evidence as well? On your way to tell them all the things you saw and heard while you were pretending to be my bodyguard on Centauri Prime?
G'KAR: I was not pretending. I went to Centauri Prime as your guest -- your protector -- perhaps even your conscience. But not as anyone's eyes and ears. So no -- I will not be testifying before the council. (Awwww.)

DELENN: G'Kar. Lennier told me you wanted to speak with me.
G'KAR: Please. (He offers Delenn a seat.) I wanted you to know that when Mollari leaves Babylon 5, I will be going with him to the Centauri homeworld.
DELENN: What? Why?
G'KAR: You said he needed a bodyguard the last time he went home, and you were right. If our assumption is correct, and he truly does not know that his government is behind these attacks -- if they have deliberately kept him out of it --
DELENN: They have. They must have. Londo would never approve of random attacks on civilian targets.
G'KAR: Which is why he may be in even greater danger once he returns home. Say what you want about him - and I can say quite a bit - but he is relentless. Sooner or later, he will found what's going on, and I believe he will try to stop it. In the long run, he may be our only hope of ending this. He must be protected at all costs.
DELENN: Have you told him this yet?
G'KAR: No. I was thinking of making it a surprise. I even booked the seat right next to his. It will give me someone to talk to during the flight.
DELENN: Londo once told me he hates it when people talk to him on long flights. He prefers to sleep.
G'KAR: (starting to laugh) I know! (Then he stands.) Well, I should pack. Thank you for coming, Delenn.
DELENN: G'Kar -- you realize that if this does come to war, you will be alone on the Centauri homeworld. There is nothing we can do to help you if things go badly.
G'KAR: (solemn) I know. (He hands Delenn a sheaf of papers.) These are the latest chapters of my book. I tried to set right some of the things at the beginning of the book written when I was a much angrier person than I am now. If things should, as you say, go badly, will you see to it that these reach Narn?
DELENN: I will.
G'KAR: Thank you. Goodbye, Delenn.
DELENN: G'Kar -- have I ever told you that you are one of the finest writers I have ever met -- and that it has been an honor to work beside you in the Alliance?
G'KAR: Not in words. But the thing about losing one eye is that it makes you look deeply into the eyes of another. I've found in yours all the thanks I will ever require in this life or in any other. (Awwwwwwwwwwww. G'Kar wuvs Londo, doesn't he? Plus, this is a nice "goodbye" scene.)

MINISTER: Ah, Prime Minister, welcome back. I was hoping you'd return home -- get out of the line of fire.
LONDO: Thank you, but I'd rather there wasn't a line of fire.
MINISTER: Is that why you brought it - (meaning G'Kar) - along? To hear our terms?
LONDO: No, he is still here as my bodyguard, that's all. Where I go, he goes.
MINISTER: (to Londo) My condolences.
G'KAR: Thank you. It's a burden, but I've come to accept it. (Heh.)
LONDO: Minister, I would like to see the Regent as soon as possible.
MINISTER: I'm afraid the Regent is otherwise engaged and will be for some time.
LONDO: Minister, you cannot deny me access --
MINISTER: (interrupting) No one is denying you anything, Prime Minister, but there is a time and a place and a way of doing things. When the time is right, you will see the Regent. Meanwhile, I suggest you retire to your quarters. It's late. I'm sure you'd like to freshen up -- both of you. (He shoots a disgusted glance at G'Kar.)
G'KAR: It's a natural musk. I rather enjoy it. (Heh again.)
LONDO: I was noticing there are a few more guards around here than normal.
MINISTER: Yes, we have increased security throughout the palace for obvious reasons. So while we are willing to tolerate the presence of your -- companion for your sake, understand that if he is seen walking around in the palace by himself, he will be shot on sight.
LONDO: Be careful, Minister. We don't want my companion to get the wrong idea. We don't normally treat our guests so badly.
G'KAR: Yes, you do.
LONDO: (hissing) Shut up!
G'KAR: Just trying to help. (Heh for the third time. I believe that's what we call a "heht trick.")

DRAZI AMBASSADOR: Did you hear? Did you hear what they did to us?
DELENN: Yes, we heard.
BRAKIRI AMBASSADOR: Then where is the White Star Fleet? You said you would support our actions. You said you would aid in fighting the Centauri. But the White Star fleet is just sitting there refusing to engage!
DELENN: We have not yet ordered them to do so.
DRAZI AMBASSADOR: (advancing on Delenn) Then give the order!
LENNIER: Back away, Ambassador.
DRAZI AMBASSADOR: Get out of my way.
BRAKIRI AMBASSADOR: He's right! Where's the fleet?
ZACK: All right, everybody, just back off!
(Then it all dissolves into unintelligible shouting.)
SHERIDAN: (quietly at first) That's enough. (Then he screams at the top of his lungs.) I SAID THAT'S ENOUGH! (The yelling stops. Everyone turns to look at Sheridan.) Now we gave you a promise, and we are bound by that promise. And damn you for asking for it! And damn me for agreeing to it! AND DAMN ALL OF US TO HELL BECAUSE THAT'S EXACTLY WHERE WE'RE GOING! We talked about peace. You didn't want peace! We talked about cooperation. You didn't want cooperation! YOU WANT WAR! Is that it? You want a war? WELL, YOU'VE GOT A WAR! (Oh, crap.)

LONDO: Yes? What is this?
MINISTER: The Regent has sent me to tell you that fighting has broken out between our forces and the Interstellar Alliance. I am also told that they have followed our declaration of hostilities with one of their own. We are now officially at war with the Alliance.
LONDO: No. No, this can still be stopped. I will call them.
MINISTER: All communication with Babylon 5 has been cut off for reasons of security. For similar reasons, I'm afraid we must place your companion under arrest. You may have resigned, but he is still a member of the advisory board for the Alliance. His presence represents a threat to our ability to conduct the war freely without having our plans compromised.
LONDO: No. This is most inappropriate!
MINISTER: He will be placed in one of our better cells until the war is over -- however long that may take. Guards!
LONDO: I said no! He is here as my guest!
MINISTER: These orders come directly from the Regent. To refuse a direct order carries with it the penalty of death.
G'KAR: It's all right, Mollari. I have already seen the inside of your cells. I doubt that I will see anything now that I haven't seen before.
LONDO: (to G'Kar) You are not going anywhere. (Then, to the minister:) I told you before -- where I go, he goes, and where he goes, I go.
G'KAR: Mollari --
LONDO: Don't worry. Even one as arrogant as this would not take it upon himself to imprison his own prime minister.
(Cut to: the cell door closing behind Londo.)
LONDO: (to G'Kar) Shut up!
G'KAR: I didn't say anything. (LOL! And also: awwwwwwwwwwwwwwww. How cute is it that Londo refuses to let G'Kar be jailed alone? As I said, these two are seriously in love.)

SHERIDAN: Praying?
DELENN: Not in the sense you mean it, but yes.
SHERIDAN: You mind if I join you?
(Sheridan sits down on the mat beside Delenn.)
SHERIDAN: What does the candle represent?
DELENN: Life.
SHERIDAN: Whose life?
DELENN: All life. Every life. We are all born as molecules in the hearts of a billion stars. Molecules that do not understand politics or policies or differences. Over a billion years, we foolish molecules forget who we are and where we came from. In desperate acts of ego, we give ourselves names, fight over lines on maps, and pretend that our light is better than everyone else's. The flame reminds us of the piece of those stars that lives on inside us -- the spark that tells us, 'You should know better.' The flame also reminds us that life is precious, as each flame is unique. When it goes out, it's gone forever. There will never be another quite like it. (A pause.) So many candles will go out tonight. I wonder sometimes if we can see anything at all.

NEW!: Grimm 1:5 / 1:6 - The Dance Macabre / The Three Wolves (Capsule Reviews)

2011-12-10T15:16:00.000-08:00

Readers note that since two new episodes of Grimm aired this week, I am giving each of them an extended-capsule review:

1:5 - The Dance Macabre

The gist of this one - in a send-off of the Pied Piper of Hamlin, a family of Reinekind (rat lords) is wrongfully persecuted by the kids at a snooty private school where the son has recently lost his admission despite enormous musical talent for fighting (instigated by the townspeople because the ring-leader wanted to be with the girl he admired). After being pushed to far, he seeks revenge on the loathsome teenagers by leading a horde of rats to their favorite rave haunt to attach them. Nick stops the revenge killing just in time and the teens are jailed for the aggravated murder of their music teacher.

The good news - this story actually has a sort of human drama to which I can relate - they're starting to pick up on a few themes that are more compelling. First, that Nick is not like a typical Grimm and has chosen to try not to kill his potential beastly adversaries unless forced to by an attack. Second, that the various monster classes aren't universally evil...and that many of them just want to be left alone. On top of that, this episode features the negative consequences of evil teenagers behaving evilly...which I can always relate to. The plot was a little slow to launch, but I'm liking Hank (Nick's partner) more and more...he brings some funny alongside Monroe (also pretty funny this week). Still, this episode lacks compelling action or monumental character development and is thus merely solid.

Overall Rating: 7.0

1:6 - The Three Wolves

HERE we go...this one was much more interesting, at least to me.

In summary, Monroe's reform tendencies are heavily tested when a former lover - a wild blud bat - arrives to defend her brother. Like Monroe, frat-wannabe Hap is reformed...sort of. He's kind of a loser, but at least he's harmless. Unfortunately, it's only a bit of random chance that keeps him from being blow halfway to hell as an assassin is killing members of his family. That assassin - a pig-man who happens to be an arson investigator - gets his chance at Hap when Monroe is lured away from the house by his evil ex...together they join in outdoor sex play and bunny-slaughter, and meanwhile, Hap walks right into an execution-style murder. Enraged, Monroe's ex goes after Lt. Orson (the pig) for vengeance. As it turns out, she murdered Orson's two brothers for sport and now Orson feels they're "even." Before the enraged wolf can get vengeance, Orson and Nick tag-team to shoot her in the back and she flees, never to be heard from again.

I love like six things about this episode. We still haven't hit feature territory yet, but this one tests Nick's resolve not to kill unless forced to, Monroe's resolve not to become a wild wolf again, and Nick's fiance's ability to overlook the strange things circling around her husband-to-be (although not to critical mass yet). Not only that, but I feel like we're finally building a larger world about which I can care/speculate/imagine possibilities. Now we have a world with reformed blud bats fighting their urges, bad blud bats running wild and killing for sport, rat-lords, man-pigs, Grimm-wraiths (and you can imagine why the beastly world might be bitter with the Grimms...some of the best intentions evidently come from beasts who were harmless, and were probably still hunted down by the Grimms of old)...and this episode unveils a long-running blood-feud between the wolves and the pigs which had a lot more impact than anything we've seen to date. I hope the continue to expand on this going forward.

Overall Rating: 8.5

Classics: DS9 6:22 - Valiant

2011-12-09T23:52:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.7

I don't know. I feel kind of ambivalent about this one.

Plot Synopsis:

Memory Alpha has a summary here.

The Skinny:

On the one hand, I do think Watters' judgment was severely impaired by a combination of drugs, pride, and just plain being an adolescent. And it was definitely foolish for the Valiant to attempt to destroy the Dominion battleship, as its crew was profoundly inexperienced and was therefore likely to make critical mistakes when it came to assessing said battleship's strengths and weaknesses.

On the other hand, this episode seems to be down on things like unit cohesion and risk taking in general, and that bothers me a little bit. A potentially suicidal maneuver is not always a bad idea. I don't even think Sisko believes this, regardless of what his son might say about the matter. Yes -- the circumstances in which "psychotic bad-assery" is appropriate are rather limited, but occasionally, you do need someone to go in there and die for the sake of everyone else. Do you know how many people were killed or seriously wounded on the beaches of Normandy, for example? That number is in the thousands. But did the prospect of mass casualties prevent the Allied forces from launching their D-Day assault? Obviously not. A military that puts self-preservation first at all times is a bad military. As Mike Rowe once put it, sometimes your duty requires you to put safety third.

Writing: 6.0

This script is not completely horrible, but it's rather lacking in nuance. Only the extreme viewpoints are represented -- and Jake comes off looking a little too selfish for my taste.

Acting: 8.0

The acting is pretty good, though. I especially liked Ashley Brianne McDonogh; not only is she cute, but she has some chops.

Message: 6.0

Again, I'm on the fence here. See the discussion above.

Classics: B5 5:11 - 5:15 - Capsule Reviews

2011-12-08T23:40:00.000-08:00

A quick note: As far as the placement of Day of the Dead is concerned, I'm using the Lurker's Guide chronology rather than the DVD chronology -- although both options create problematic discontinuities with regards to Londo and G'Kar and their travel schedule. Actually, I'm thinking now that that particular episode should have been put somewhere before Londo and G'Kar actually left for Centauri Prime (i.e., before Strange Relations). But oh well -- it's too late to change it now.

*****

5:11 - Day of the Dead

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: This is the only episode after season two that was written by someone other than JMS. The question is, did Neil Gaiman manage to play in JMS' sandbox without messing everything up? Yes -- largely. I'm not one of those sci-fi/fantasy fans who believe that everything Gaiman pens is a work of staggering genius, but here, he's crafted a story that's pretty interesting -- and also relevant to the larger arc.

Probably the most effective scenes in the episode are the ones involving Londo, Lochley, and Lennier. Londo's meeting with Adira works mainly because we all know what's coming for our doomed Centauri and therefore would like to see him enjoy one final night of happiness before everything goes to hell. The troubled background Gaiman invents for Lochley, meanwhile, definitely satisfies our craving for more information on the brand new captain -- and by the way, those scenes between Lochley and Zoe are also astonishingly well performed by both Tracy Scoggins and Bridget Flanery. When all is said and done, though, I think Lennier wins the night for his meeting with Mr. Morden (!!!). That, I think, is Gaiman's true master stroke. Morden, you see, represents our darker desires and temptations, and there's no question that Lennier is struggling with just that sort of problem. It's the kind of match-up that would never spontaneously occur to you -- but also makes perfect sense the moment you see it in action.

The other thing I personally like about this episode - besides the character work discussed above - is the fact that something hugely mystical happens and Gaiman doesn't even bother to fully explain it. Undoubtedly, this causes the hardcore materialists great discomfort -- and I will always support anything that makes those arrogant prats squirm.

Steph's Rating: 8.0

*****

5:12 - The Ragged Edge

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: I forgot to mention it in my last post, but one of the other things that prevents Byron from pulling everything below the average line is Garibaldi's plight. That scene in Phoenix Rising in which he tries to kill Bester and discovers he can't is absolutely terrific -- and, of course, that is what starts the whole downward spiral that is portrayed, in part, in The Ragged Edge. Garibaldi's frustrated desire for revenge - which JMS rightfully portrays as destructive - has so consumed him now that he spends much of the day piss drunk. As a consequence, when it all goes pear-shaped on Drazi Prime, it is by sheer luck alone that Garibaldi manages to escape with his life -- and a clue as to who is perpetrating the recent raids on the shipping lines. His informant, on the other hand, is not so lucky -- and that adds one to Garibaldi's body count. More will be added later.

As I noted, however, Garibaldi does come back with a clue, and that's where things get interesting again as Sheridan, Delenn, and G'Kar discuss whether they should tell Londo about what their investigation has uncovered in re: the Centauri government's likely involvement in the aforementioned deadly raids. G'Kar's role in this is especially fascinating, as he argues in favor of keeping Londo out of the loop precisely because he wishes to preserve Londo's life. Can you imagine G'Kar harboring a similar motivation in, say, season two? Yeah -- me neither.

Speaking of G'Kar, I love how he responds to the discovery that his book has been "liberated" and published in his absence. And I doubly love his reaction to the discovery that, suddenly, he has followers. Naturally, Londo spends much of the episode teasing G'Kar about it, which is also a hell of a lot of fun to watch:

(G'Kar approaches Londo in the Zocalo. A small crowd of Narn tag along behind him.)
LONDO: Ah! Good morning, G'Kar! (Then, taking note of G'Kar's entourage:) Well, this is a delight. I did not know you had children.
G'KAR: Neither did I.
LONDO: Yes. Most unsettling when that happens -- and in your case, most amusing.

LOL! I love those two so much.

Steph's Rating: 8.3

*****

5:13 - The Corps Is Mother, The Corps Is Father

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: If Bester were commissioned to write his own episode of Babylon 5, this is what you would get: a story in which Bester plays the role of a long suffering hero who's just trying to protect the members of his "family" from mundane prejudice and out-of-control rogues -- while at the same time dodging the advances of a starry-eyed young telepath who thinks he is the greatest thing since sliced bread. My reaction? EEEEEEEEEEEEW -- but not necessarily in a bad way. Actually, I think it's kind of neat to switch to the villain's point of view for a little while. It gives us a chance to see where Bester is coming from -- and it reminds us that the bigotry between mundanes and telepaths goes both ways. The only reason I don't give this episode a higher score is that it interrupts the great story started in The Ragged Edge. When you've got a momentum going, you really shouldn't slow things down with filler -- even if it's relatively high quality filler.

Steph's Rating: 7.5

*****

5:14 - Meditations on the Abyss

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: The most memorable thing about this episode - for me, anyway - is Vir's getting so mad over an attempt to bug Londo's quarters that he completely destroys a Drazi fruit stand with a sword. The script plays this for laughs - and admittedly, it is kind of funny, especially given Londo's pride and Zack's retelling at dinner later - but there's also a darker edge to the whole incident. As I noted in a Live Journal post years ago:

We've seen other signs that Vir is beginning to fray around the edges - his nightmare in No Surrender, No Retreat, his public emotional outburst in The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari, etc. His sword-wielding tantrum here fits into this pattern. I think the Drazi's ridicule hit a very personal nerve and unlocked a whole lot of bottled up frustration and anger. Thinking about this scene this way, I am impressed with how emotionally true it really is.

The second most memorable thing about this episode is the opening scene in which Delenn seeks out Lennier for her secret fact finding mission. Number one, Delenn's casually breaking that guy's finger is really, really kick ass. Number two, I feel sorry for poor Lennier. Delenn is definitely aware that Lennier has feelings for her, yet she still recruits her former aid precisely because she knows he will be especially motivated to get her what she needs. Ouch, ouch, ouch.

Also worthy of note is Lennier's interaction with Findell, mainly because it reeks of hypocrisy. Here Lennier is, opining that Findell has joined the Rangers for the wrong reasons, and yet Lennier himself has joined the Rangers for equally wrong reasons. Ah, Lennier -- your psychology is so delightfully convoluted. That's why I like you.

Steph's Rating: 8.5

*****

5:15 - Darkness Ascending

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: This episode competently lays the groundwork for And All My Dreams Torn Asunder and sets Lyta up as the new leader of Byron's rogue telepaths, but in the end, it's really just a transition episode and therefore doesn't inspire much in the way of comment. I do like, though, how the director emphasizes Londo's increasing isolation via the camera work. And I do like that scene towards the end in which Delenn spontaneously hugs Londo because she knows he's about to get royally screwed. That, I think, is a very touching moment. I'm just sorry Londo and Delenn couldn't have interacted more often. As I've argued in the past, I think they have an awful lot in common.

Steph's Rating: 7.2

NEW!: Once Upon a Time 1:6 - The Shepherd

2011-12-07T09:18:00.000-08:00

Overall Rating: 7.8

Uuuuuuuugh!

Plot Synopsis:

Wikipedia has the details.

The Skinny:

First, I'd just like to say that I love the way the writers are spinning the fairy-tale back-story gradually into the plot and out of order, such that we see bits and pieces and can enjoy how they all come together. Today's puzzle piece - how did Prince Charming get to where he was and why was he marrying someone he didn't love? The way they made this piece fit with the piece we got in 1:2 was exceedingly pleasing. They've obviously thought through very carefully how they're going to merge the various fairy tales into one running story. Which is really helping to draw in my interest.

Mayor Regina's evil just continues to astound me. When she doesn't like something you're doing, she can really lay on the skin-crawling scowls and manipulative games. Ugh. Obviously though, the main story is poor Mary-Margaret (a.k.a. Snow White) and her struggle to do the right thing. I must say, however, that although I'm enjoying the story on a visceral, aesthetic level, it currently lacks tremendous depth for me - we're all rooting for true love because we know what these people were like in the fairy tale world, but in a real situation, there is no compelling reason to think badly of a man staying with his wife or a heartbroken woman commiserating with another. But it's early yet, and there may be more than fairy-tale "love is something external that simply hits you from on high" magic here. Or maybe not. Even if this never turns into necessarily a strong moral tale w/r/t love, there are other moral messages it passes and the love is still fun in a "guilty pleasure" sort of way.

Writing: 9.0

Much credit to the script-writing team for giving us our first sense of true continuity in the fairy-tale world and doing a great job of world-building on that side and character-building in the real world.

Acting: 8.5

The performances were also very strong - especially from Mary-Margaret, Regina and Mr. Gold (Rumplestiltskin).

Message: 6.0

For all of the good that's in the script, it is a set-up piece regarding love and the morals thereof and sends no message (yet). It's just good fun, for now.

Classics: B5 5:6 - 5:10 - Capsule Reviews

2011-12-06T23:46:00.000-08:00

Now that The Walking Dead is on hiatus and our schedule has opened up again, I'm going to try to finish up Babylon 5 -- and I'm using capsule reviews here because, with the exception of And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder, Movements of Fire and Shadow, The Fall of Centauri Prime, and, of course, Sleeping in Light, the fifth season doesn't really interest me all that much, and I would rather not devote another seventeen weeks to reviewing it.

This first set of quick-takes will cover the rest of Byron's arc. The second set will cover episodes 5:11 through 5:15. Then we will slow down to cover the end of Londo's arc in greater detail because I love Londo and believe his storyline is the only thing that makes this final season worth watching. Yes, I am biased -- but I'm sure you've picked up on that fact already.

*****

5:6 - Strange Relations

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: Oh, Delenn, you wily matchmaker you! You're not fooling me with that whole "bodyguard" pretense. It's blindingly obvious that you're just trying to do for the Narn and Centauri what your marriage to Sheridan did for the Humans and Minbari. Admit it -- you're a huge Londo/G'Kar shipper, aren't you?

Okay -- now that I've got that moment of slashy silliness out of the way, it's time to talk about the Prince of Purple Prose. Granted, JMS has never been known for his realistic, subtle dialogue -- but Byron definitely takes things to ultraviolet extremes. I really can't believe Lyta would be gullible enough to fall for that "you are my willow" crap. Seriously - if some guy spoke to me in that matter, I would suspect he had an ulterior motive.

Steph's Rating: 6.5

*****

5:7 - Secrets of the Soul

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: The Hyach/Hyach-Doh plot is mildly interesting filler, though I think it would've had more emotional impact if it had involved an already familiar race. And as it just so happens, I already have one candidate race in mind: the Centauri. Centuries ago, the Centauri exterminated a competitor species - the Xon - on their homeworld, so their history would've perfectly aligned with JMS' central intent.

But now let's get back to Byron, who remains thoroughly unlikable despite JMS' attempts to turn him into Teep Jesus. I always feel this urge to jump through the screen and smack Byron when he scolds Zack for keeping him in lock-up and preventing him from reining in his people. I mean, what did he expect Zack to do, exactly? Zack is Chief of Security, and he found Byron standing over an unconscious man!

And when Byron finds out about the Vorlons' genetic manipulations? That's when his actions head into "WTF?" territory. "The Vorlons made us so that we could be their cannon fodder -- so the Alliance clearly owes us something!" How in the hell does that make any sense? Byron is just like your typical Occupy Wall Street protestor in that he spends all of his time attacking the wrong target. Human teeps do have legitimate grievances - Sheridan doesn't call the Psi Corps "Fascists 'R Us" for nothing - but they should take that up with Earthgov and leave the Alliance alone.

Steph's Rating: 6.8

*****

5:8 - In the Kingdom of the Blind

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: I like this episode, but that's solely because of the Londo plot, which is full of creepy, foreshadowy goodness and also features G'Kar being kind of awesome in his capacity as Londo's new "bodyguard". Byron, on the other hand, continues to inspire my seething hatred. What I find particularly galling about our supposed Teep Jesus here is the fact that he doesn't even try asking nicely for a teep homeworld. Given Delenn's expressed sympathy for the rogue telepaths' plight, the Alliance might've helped Byron out eventually if he had tried the diplomatic course. But instead, he skips straight to violating everyone's privacy and then blackmailing the entire council. Well, screw you, Byron. You deserve to fail. As I remarked in an earlier review, you are no better than Bester. You may talk a good game about "non-violent resistance" and "creating a better world," but you are no less bigoted when it comes to mundanes -- and like Bester, you don't even bother to hide your contempt.

Steph's Rating: 7.7

*****

5:9 - A Tragedy of Telepaths

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: It's interesting that Sheridan and Delenn resort to the threat of military action in order to prevent the Drazi - or any other Alliance race - from starting a war over the shipping lanes issue. Like I said, the Alliance is a United Nations with actual teeth. And by the way, the Drazi ambassador's over-dramatic speech in that scene in re: Sheridan's "big mistake" is right, but not in the way he thinks. Sheridan is not wrong to prevent hasty action before all the facts are known. What he will come to regret eventually is his promise to back the actions of the Drazi, Brakiri, etc. once the origin of the new crop of raiders is discovered, as that will lead to the carpet-bombing of an entire planet. Oops.

In other news, this episode provides yet more evidence that Londo is fundamentally decent deep down -- though it also illustrates why Londo frequently doesn't heed the warnings of his own conscience. He genuinely enjoys freeing Na'Toth from her cell -- but, of course, if G'Kar weren't there to strong-arm him into doing it, Londo would've given in to his "breeding" instead of doing the right thing. Ah, Londo. You are such a great character.

And as for Byron? His agony over the actions of the teep splinter group rings false to me. Why? Because if he had cooperated fully with Lochley and helped to apprehend said individuals, he might've prevented all the violence that goes down in this episode and the next. And also? If you teach your people that a mundane mind is not worthy of respect, it really is a very short jump to the conclusion that their bodies don't deserve respect either.

Steph's Rating: 7.3

*****

5:10 - Phoenix Rising

Plot Synopsis: Can be found here.

Steph's Comments: Now, finally, we get to Byron's inevitable self-immolation. And you know, I think I would've accepted this entire plot if JMS had just gone ahead and acknowledged in some shape or form that Byron is a villain. If JMS had gone down the Charles Manson route, all the contradictions would've made perfect sense. His sorrow over gunning down a mundane ship, for example, could be understood as an act calculated to manipulate others, while his willingness to use invasive mental tactics on the mundanes would be seen as revealing of Byron's true self. Unfortunately, as far as I can tell, JMS thinks Byron is a hero -- and that's why Byron's arc fails. Really, the only thing that prevents me from giving this episode a lower score is the fact that Bester is still written consistently.

Steph's Ratings: 6.5

Bonus Meta: The Essence of Joy

2011-12-05T22:06:00.001-08:00

Because my review of SG1 6:17 couldn't help but be painfully pithy and uninteresting (sorry...I gave 1:20 - Politics a long review but that's the last clip show I spend all evening on), I thought I would offer a few little musings on the nature of entertainment and why we love the things we do.

Unless your name is House and you have divorced yourself from the last tortured vestiges of your soul to keep from staggering into the realization that your life is meaningless by your own self-destructive immolation, there are doubtlessly things you love that you literally cannot explain rationally. We call them guilty pleasures (because the rational part of our brain wonders why we should be so attached to them and finds no answer so it feels guilty for not telling us to knock that off) but I think we need to stop and recognize the very real, very valuable joy such things bring to us.

Of late, I have been perusing another set of entertainment critics (you can find their work at Nostalgia Critic - warning, this site is rated PG-13 for excessive profanity!). Nostalgia Critic (formerly known as "theguywiththeglasses" on Youtube, where he get his start...and his team of fellow critics (including Nostalgia Chick and her geeky pals) do mostly movies and the like, but do occasionally dip into the TV files when the mood strikes. They review only things that are at least ten years old (hence...nostalgia) and have a bias toward reviewing films that they dislike (because it's funnier). But every now and then, they set themselves the task of logically dissecting and utterly destroying a movie that doesn't stand up to real logic...even though they themselves actually enjoyed it.

I happen to agree with Nostalgia Critic that Moulin Rouge is, on its face, a HORRIBLE movie that sends a series of ghastly messages well disguised by flashy staging and epileptic-seizure-inducing rapid-fire shot changes to wow the viewer and hold their attention. The film...a musical...does not include a SINGLE original song beyond "Come What May" (which, incidentally, is an awesome song), wrongly equates the empty pursuit of unearned "love" by the bohemian revolution in France at the turn of the 20th century with the kind of life-changing love that actually inspires us to the better parts of our nature, is completely devoid of credible acting performances (by choice!) and just plain doesn't accomplish anything of value. Except that it made millions of us really...really happy for two hours. We know all the songs they used (and the way they got them into the score was really cool)...we liked the clever staging and the artful depictions of the gaudy nature of the Moulin Rouge...we all wanted to enjoy the love story...and f*** it...we love this damned thing (myself included...I remember seeing it in the theater and really enjoying it).

If you really look at most Disney movies...you an do the same kind of thing. I liked Aladdin and The Lion King despite the often contrived nature of the romantic elements of both stories (and you know how hard I am on most things that show up on this blog containing instant romance). The Little Mermaid is a story about a rich brat who gets everything she wants despite not learning or changing at all while forcing everyone else around her to adapt (or die, they're evil sea queens). Even the seemingly invincible Pixar team produces movies that aren't without their major ethical or social flaws if you really stop and think about it. Armond White (New Yorker) stopped and thought about Toy Story 3 and concluded that it was all about product placement and merchandising. I don't think he ever gave the film a chance, but...using pure cold logic...there was a lot of that in the Toy Story franchise and denying it is living in a fantasy world.

So why do we love things that, when you shine a light on them, just don't mesh with our beliefs that well? Why did Avatar make a billion dollars without even working at making a plot that made any sense? Why do we all love the classic Disney movies...even the hard core feminists among us...despite the fact that, in general, women are portrayed as needing men to be happy, needing to be rescued, and generally...being rather helpless? Why can we sit and glow while watching Moulin Rouge scream at us in tones so loud that they become COLORS? Why is the essence of joy?

For me...the essence of joy is thought and sensation. I like plots that make me consider a world I never imagined - force me to think BIG - shake up my perceptions. I like stories that inspire me to think about myself and to wish for more from my world. And...(and this is where logic sometimes dissipates before the power of the body)...I like stories that evoke powerful emotions. Moulin Rouge does this. The Little Mermaid does this. Even "Move Along Home" - the worst best DS9 episode EVER (not entirely serious)...does this by dropping us into a scene surreal enough to evoke a strange glee. Almost everything I review here I love with the rational part of my mind (and some of those things also appeal to the emotional and aesthetic parts of me)...but there are some things I like because they bring me a different kind of joy. And I think it's important to do three things with those kinds of "guilty" pleasures...

Realize that there's nothing invalid about that kind of joy and revel in it whenever possible. Happiness is happiness and should be celebrated in its proper context.
Realize when I am enjoying a story for purely aesthetic / emotional reasons and make sure I am aware of that story's logical failings (so as not to be influenced into changing my core beliefs by a flashy show or a pretty song)
Call attention to what works in such stories and what doesn't stand up to reason...keep the good and use it in my own attempts at artistic creation...reject the misguided or just plain silly.

We can tell a story that far exceeds the insanity of Moulin Rouge and evoke the same sort of awe-struck child-like hypnosis at the bombastic, jubilant artistry. Sometimes I get both of my wishes...I get a story that speaks to my mind AND to my soul - that appeals to my sense of aesthetics AND to my sense of logic. When that happens (see: Rocks and Shoals (DS9 6:2), Duet (DS9 1:18), The Siege of AR558 (DS9 7:8), Heroes (SG1 7:10/11), The Gift (BtVS 5:22) etc)...the ratings soar. But any joy is cause for celebration here at Right Fans...even the type that leaves you feeling a bit guilty when the dust settles.

Classics: SG1 6:17 - Disclosure

2011-12-05T18:09:00.001-08:00

Overall Rating: 6.3

As clip shows go...this one was pretty good.

Plot Synopsis:

The Stargate Wiki has the full disclosure on Full Disclosure.

The Skinny:

It is admittedly fun to watch China get smacked down by the Asgard after all of their attempts to form an alliance with Russia against Stargate Command. Apart from that...this is a clip show. My skinny comments will therefore be a clip commentary.

Meh.

Writing: 6.0

There is no writing in a clip show apart from the political intrigue.

Acting: 6.0

There is no acting in a clip show.

Message: 7.0

There is no message in a clip show...there is however a fun little shout out to the remaining totalitarians despots in our world - hey guys...YOU SUCK at making friends!

Classics: DS9 6:21 - The Reckoning

2011-12-04T20:33:00.001-08:00

Overall Rating: 7.3

Good try...and there is a lot to love about this episode...but it's a tad overdone, I think.

Plot Synopsis:

Get the story here, thanks to Wikipedia.

The Skinny:

First, the things I really liked about this ambitious, albeit somewhat purple episode.

Sisko's reaction to an unsolvable problem is to break shit. How true! :)
Dax's decision to view the tablet skeptically is given no more of a reasonable feel than Kira or Sisko's belief that something bigger may be going on - even before evidence that the tablet is indeed a part of a bigger story involving (at the very least) non-corporeal alien beings at war.
Odo has the line of the show - when Kira is possessed by a Prophet, Odo immediately shuts down any discussion of Kira's being taken unwillingly (and quite rightfully so). From what he knows of her, he has no choice but to conclude that Kira would wish to be taken for this purpose even if it meant her life - the reaction from the other senior officers is tasteful, fair, and wholly appropriate. You just won't find that kind of nuanced character-based drama in the other Treks so consistently as you do here.
I love that Kai Winn's greatest flaw - her lack of true faith in anyone but herself (and I think this is one of the major roots of all unhealthy ambition and pride) - is what undoes the battle and ends us all. I don't for one moment believe that she acted solely to save two lives (and, incidentally, the station)...and I don't believe we're meant to come away with that impression. I think they quite rightly set up Winn's downfall here - despite her protestations that she believes in the Emissary, she manages to find reasons not to trust him at every turn and to look for ways to undermine him. And ultimately, it's because she envies that he speaks with the Gods and she does not. This is all very biblical, and very bold for Trek.

Now...the things that make me wince...

Why do Gods on TV shows always pick even numbers for epochs that should come to pass at the end of some great trial? It's always 1,000 years of peace or 1,000 years of hell. The annoying continuance of our obsession with numerology in base-10 math does feel a bit cheesy here.
The whole concept that a single Pah Wraith vs. Prophet duel can resolve an age-old conflict between interventionist big bad god-like aliens and their (usually less evil) counterparts just strikes me as terribly silly and trite. God vs. the devil wouldn't solve good vs. evil - that's why I prefer the good vs. evil struggle in the Lord of the Rings series. They may have destroyed Sauron, but there's certainly no indication that they destroyed all evil (in fact it is explicitly stated that that is not the case). The bottom line is...we like "good vs. evil showdown" plots because it puts the contrast in front of us for easy viewing. And I think it's really...really lazy.
And...why do all-powerful non-corporeal beings need to possess bodies to fight their battle? In fact, not six episodes later, the Pah Wraiths lose the battle for the wormhole entirely without possessing humans because the Sara Sisko Prophet is released and tips the scales. I don't get why humanoid sacrifice is required for this contest.

In general, if they want to make Sisko a God...and I'm fine with that idea, don't misunderstand me...they needed to think about what he AND ONLY HE can do that makes him special enough to be needed...the leakage of intelligence begins in this episode...they clearly haven't thought it through...and the greatest flaw with the series-ending "What You Leave Behind" is that all of this build-up toward The Sisko being the only one who could be the Emissary and bring about the end of the Pah Wraiths ends with him doing something that...ANYONE could do. Bottom line...they didn't make him special enough to be a God. And in this episode, once again, they're not thinking enough about why events must play out as they do...why the Gods need human hosts, why they must involve The Sisko in their fight? The result? The episode feels forced, melodramatic and silly despite being thematically strong.

Writing: 5.5

Sorry guys...there is some cute dialogue and some very important character-work, but the main plot just isn't well-enough fleshed out for me to get on board.

Acting: 7.0

The acting isn't BAD...although Cirroc Lofton didn't do well with his possessed lines, nor did Avery Brooks nail every moment (especially as Jake was about to be killed, Sisko's lines were a little awkward).

Message: 9.5

Thematically, this episode doesn't miss...and that's why I like it despite all of the problems with the storyboard and the long-term planning that went into this Emissary plot arc.

Classics: Farscape 3:14/3:15 - Infinite Possibilities

2011-12-03T23:54:00.000-08:00

Overall: 9.5

This is why it was a genius idea to twin Crichton and split the cast.

Plot Synopsis:

Part I: Daedalus Demands is summarized at the Farscape Wiki here.

Part II: Icarus Abides, meanwhile, is summarized here.

The Skinny:

Characters are killed and resurrected in sci-fi and fantasy all the time. Spock is a classic example -- and let's not forget Daniel "Oops, Died Again" Jackson. Indeed, when a character dies on a genre series, your typical fan is liable to declare, "I refuse to believe it until I see the body -- and even then, that corpse may not guarantee a character's permanent demise." There's usually an out -- some sort of technology or magic that can bring the dead man back to life.

Does Farscape adhere to the above-described trope? In one sense, yes. Because they duplicated their star player, the writers were able to pen a dramatic death for one John while keeping the other one in the wings, thereby circumventing the whole "we can't kill off the hero" problem. In another sense, however, Farscape manages to subvert the grand old sci-fi tradition entirely because that other John - the one on Moya - is not the same guy. He has not spent the past several episodes forging a physically and emotionally intimate bond with Aeryn. He doesn't know about Aeryn's mother -- or anything else that has transpired on Talyn in the intervening time. Because the writers separated the Leviathans, the two Johns have been traveling on utterly divergent paths. And that means Aeryn -- and we, the viewers - can experience the death of Talyn-John as a genuine blow. If you don't cry during the final minutes of Icarus Abides, you have no soul. And I'm saying this as someone who isn't an "OMG AERYN/JOHN FOREVER!!!!!!!eleventy-one!" shipper. I enjoy that relationship, to be sure, but my mind is also focused on other things.

Speaking of which, I once again must put in a good word for two of my favorite characters:

I love what the writers do with Rygel here. He's such a self-interested jerk much of the time, but deep down, he does have a heart of gold -- and a capacity for bravery that is worthy of sympathy and even a little admiration.
I also love what they do with Stark. Crais can snark all he wants about Stark's brain damage, but the fact remains that Stark successfully outwitted a Scarran soldier even with most of his sanity tied behind his back. I'd call that a win for our poor, mentally-disturbed Banik.

It should also be mentioned that the cliffhanger at the end of Daedalus Demands is extremely creepy and effective -- and also well-performed by both Ben and Claudia. Harvey still has the potential to be very dangerous. We shouldn't be fooled by the signs that the neural clone is "going native" and having fun in the recesses of John's mind.

And as for the weapon-of-mass-destruction that is the displacement engine? This time, I'm going to have to agree with the "God-like alien." That should not fall into anyone's hands if we can possibly help it. The temptation such power would present would be too much for most fallen sentient species to handle, let alone the species who happen to populate the region of space near the Uncharted Territories (otherwise known as The Galactic Den of Horror and Evil). "I have no prayer for that," Stark breathes when the Scarran dreadnought is destroyed, and I have to say that I concur with the sentiment.

Writing: 10.0

The writers don't simply press the reset button here. In fact, they do the exact opposite -- and that makes me very happy.

Acting: 9.5

I'm not 100% impressed with all of the performances I see here. I didn't really like the Scarran soldier's line readings, for example. But Talyn-John's death is definitely knocked out of the park by everyone involved.

Message: 9.0

"Jack's" wormhole weapon makes the atomic bomb look like a piddly firecracker -- and that's why I'm comfortable with the episode's assertion that no one should have it.

Highlights:

Aeryn: (tearfully) I'm very angry.
John: Me too.
Aeryn: We had good times.
John: I wouldn't change it for the world. You made me - a better person.
Aeryn: That wasn't hard. (A beat.) I love you... so much...
John: I love you.
Aeryn: I would have gone to Earth.
John: I'm... sorry you never got to meet my dad - my real dad. I'm - sorry I never met your dad. I'm sorry about a lot of things.
Aeryn: Don't be. I don't want you to go that way.
John: I won't. (They sit in silence for a long moment.) Huh.
Aeryn: What?
John: They say - it's a lucky - or an unambitious man who goes when he's ready. That said - Scorpius is gone. I'm at peace. I don't - hurt. I... I did some good things. I'm proud of my life. And I'm with you. (Aeryn leans her tear-stained face over his and kisses him, long and passionately.) Don't worry about me. I've never felt better. (*SOB*)

Pardon the Interruption: House 8:8 - Perils of Paranoia

2011-12-02T23:06:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.3

On balance, it looks like we have ourselves a wash. There were bits in this episode that were hilarious and classically House -- and bits that made me want to scream and throw things at the screen.

Plot Synopsis:

FOX.com has a recap here.

The Skinny:

What I liked: Wilson in that net. That's actually the first time in a while that this show's made me laugh out loud. Actually, that entire subplot is pretty damned amusing. Although -- I was reading the medical review of this episode over at Polite Dissent, and one of the comments there brought up the rather alarming possibility that the writers are establishing that House owns a weapon here for a purpose beyond eliciting chuckles. Are they hanging a literal gun on the wall to foreshadow something they're planning in a later act? For what it's worth, House's committing suicide is one of the two possible finales that SABR Matt and I would actually accept. That's by no means our most preferred ending, but it would still fit with what we believe to be the Ultimate Theme of the series (i.e., that being ruthlessly naturalistic and cynical in outlook is a one-way ticket to despair).

What I felt indifferent about: Everything else -- except, of course, for what I emphatically didn't like, which was Foreman's subplot. Really, I was cruising right along with that one up until Taub suggested that dating a married woman is a "good start" for the aforementioned new Dean of Medicine. After that, things descended into "oh, hell no!" territory very quickly. Seriously, Mr. Moran -- what kind of screwed up moral world are you living in? How can it possibly be okay to go in for a little home-wrecking just because you need "practice" socializing with members of the opposite sex? How in the hell is that going to teach you anything about maintaining a genuinely healthy relationship? Granted, it makes sense that Taub would encourage such a thing, as Taub is a known philanderer -- but to subsequently put your writerly stamp of approval on the whole business is really offensive. Sorry.

Writing: 7.0

The script earns a slightly better than average grade for being funny on occasion.

Acting: 7.5

There's also nothing majorly wrong with the performances.

Message: 4.5

I don't want to give this episode an extremely low mark on the message for the adultery thing because it wasn't a central plot element, but still -- FAIL.

NEW!: Once Upon a Time: 1:5 - That Still, Small Voice

2011-12-01T19:13:00.001-08:00

Overall Rating: 6.6

Oh snap! A tweedy little therapist with some cajones of steel!

Plot Synopsis:

The details are here, courtesy of Wikipedia.

The Skinny:

Here is the pithy summary. This was a run of the mill episode with a strong message presented in a rather lukewarm way. That's not a bad thing.

The more detailed commentary feels a bit old-hat, to be honest, because the lesson isn't new, surprising, or told in any sort of way that adds life to the story. The story of Jiminy Cricket was interesting (and damn his parents were evil!) but I can't say as the rest of the episode did anything for me or raised any emotions (other than thinking Mayor Evil desperately needs to go away (as usual). I can't put my finger on exactly why Henry's heart break at his shrink's apparent change of attitude misses the mark in my head...but I just don't feel all that pulled by it. Maybe it's the acting.

The message, though old and well-worn, is still quite correct. I must apologize though...I can't think of new ways to say "taking the easy road is the surest way to your own ruination"...we've said it many times on this blog.

Writing: 6.0

A bit of a dull script...it lacks the jeopardy I think it needs to explain Jiminy's sudden change of heart in re: Henry's therapy.

Acting: 6.0

I also think Jared Gilmore (Henry) really played this one weakly...I know I shouldn't expect miracles from child actors, but in this case, it makes the whole episode seem a little more boring.

Message: 7.8

See above...good message, not well told, I'm afraid.

NEW!: Terra Nova 1:9 - Now You See Me

2011-11-30T23:06:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.5

The main plot is pretty unoriginal, and the B-plot is implausible. But hey -- at least they haven't yet committed the deal-breaker sin discussed last week.

Plot Synopsis:

FOX.com has a recap here.

The Skinny:

Throwing enemies together and forcing them to cooperate in order to survive has been done many, many times. Still, the conversations between Taylor and Mira are kind of interesting. Actually, while listening to Mira discuss her personal motivations for opposing Taylor, I realized there is yet one more reason why things may not be as simple as they look on this show, and it relates to Terra Nova's selection process. As we've seen, there are two main avenues to getting a place in a pilgrimage: Either 1) you are a professional who possesses a desired skill set, or 2) you win the lottery. And apparently, option number two is extremely susceptible to corruption. Mira got a place in the sixth pilgrimage because her employer "had deep pockets," while Josh's old girlfriend might get a place in the eleventh because of Mira's "connections." Do you see where this is going?

I have no problem with the aforementioned professionals moving to the head of the line because they are needed. But the lottery has evidently become a process that favors the rich and/or politically connected -- and that's why I think the portal should go both ways. It's not okay that the cream of the crop gets to live in paradise while the larger and poorer mass of humanity has to suffer back in 2149 without any hope of reaping Terra Nova's benefits. I'm not saying we should strip-mine the place, of course. But we don't even know that that's what Mira's employers are seeking to do. We only have Taylor's word on that, and Taylor is hardly a disinterested party.

(By the way, a note: As you all know, I'm a right-wing Catholic, not a class-warfare-obsessed leftist. So the fact that I'm seeing the social-justice-related pitfalls of Taylor's pet project really indicates their significance.)

As for the other plots? Well, Zoe continues to be too twee for words. Seriously -- I'm about to fall into a diabetic coma over here. And Skye as the traitor? To be honest, my reaction was pretty incredulous. I mean, I definitely buy the motivation the writers set up for her, but I'm having a difficult time believing that a teenager - a teenager - would have access to the colony's intelligence information. Come on, guys. That's stretching things a bit too far.

Writing: 6.0

I'm downgrading this script a bit for its "WHAAAAAAT?!?!" revelation in re: Skye as the mole -- and for its resort to a cliche in the main plot.

Acting: 7.5

The performances are respectable.

Message: 6.0

It's unclear at this time whether the writers see what I see as far as the complexities of the situation are concerned, so I'm going to go with the neutral score here.

NEW!: The Walking Dead 2:7 - Pretty Much Dead Already

2011-11-29T18:08:00.001-08:00

Overall Rating: 9.8

Ho...ly...CRAP!

Plot Synopsis:

Wikipedia has a nice round-up here.

The Skinny:

You know it's a great episode when Officer Loony is...right...and you hate him for it...oh my this one hurts. This is extremely painful for five separate and equally important reasons:

Shitbrick is right. He goes about it the wrong way, but you can't go imagining that the walkers are alive...it's a cruel world now and survivor's guilt and denial will get you killed. Wasting food and resources and time and energy on trapping them and treating them humanely is not only philosophically grotesque but completely untenable. We don't have enough resources and our lives are already in enough peril. The walkers needed to be put down. Period. Of course, giving the old man no time at all to come to terms with what must be done will end up in their eviction from one of the few relatively safe harbors around and his particularly heartless rampage will have rendered many of the survivors in his party traumatized and dehumanized and made every future walker encounter that much harder.
I fear gravely for Rick. This season 2.1 sequence has been all about his desperate need to believe that something good will come of his suffering and that there's a good future somewhere in this world for him and his family. He's latched onto one hopeful errand after another - his son's education and positive outlook, his wife's support, his belief in a safer haven, his hopes to cure Jim at the CDC, and lately...the quest to find Sophia. And that whole time...she was in the barn...a walker. And on some level, he believes it to be his fault. Grimly, he steps forward to end her suffering and shoots her down, nicely bookending the almost heroic feeling moment in the pilot when he guns down a walker child. But this time, the audience is CRUSHED - this girl we knew and still saw as human even after her unfortunate affliction. And if we're crushed...imagine Rick. This is just awful to contemplate.
Andrea lost someone close and her reaction was to latch onto the man who was "not a victim"...even if there wasn't a drop of humanity left in him. What will happen to the battered and now grieving Carol? What of Daryl, who so fervently believed Sophia was alive? Will they go the way of the soulless wonder? Or will they hang onto their humanity and in so doing die free of conscience and connected to God...or live in a hopeful future somewhere unspoiled by our mass extinction?
Maggie was already a little unhinged by the stress of her situation, and poor Glen is already losing his innocence day by day...and it's only going to get worse from here. When Glen is forced to leave this place and abandon Maggie...what will become of them? What of Hershel? I very much doubt he's going to come out of this with his sanity intact.
And then there's Dale - perhaps the wisest and most stable influence in the group. And no one is on his side anymore. Not Andrea, not Rick, not Glen...no one. All because he tried to do the right thing in the right way and made an enemy of Sgt. Shameless and company. I just don't see much reason to hope that he holds sway in camp after that display. UGH...

I still feel that this story is about the right conflicts and told in a way that makes me believe that the right characters are being extolled. The fans have a wide range of reactions, and that's to be expected, but I believe it's clear from the way this was presented that the Care-free Cop (whose name shall continue not to be repeated here...for it is in the bitter tongue of Mordor and is cursed) might as well be dead, because there's nothing left to redeem him. He's not a hero even if his decisions lead to positive outcomes while Rick's always seem to end badly. As long as that stays true...this show will remain my latest obsession.

Writing: 10.0

I believe my opening words sum it up nicely. Just damned good drama...my heart was literally racing uncontrollably when Super-Monkey went off over the arrival of Rick and Hershel (and walker guests)...his whole performance was just terrifying to watch. Man oh man.

Acting: 10.0

MAJOR kudos to all involved...it was picture perfect the whole cast over.

Message: 9.5

My above commentary says it all...the dark one shall not triumph even if he survives and finds shelter on an island or mountain peak. For he has already been lost to the walkers, though he still breathes.

Classics: Farscape 3:13 - Scratch 'N Sniff

2011-11-28T23:55:00.000-08:00

Overall: 3.0

I'm with Pilot on this one: WTF?

Plot Synopsis:

The Farscape Wiki has a summary here.

The Skinny:

I've been struggling to put my finger on just why I find this episode off-putting, but I think, in the end, it all boils down to the tone employed. Consider the actual content of this episode for a moment: John, D'Argo, Chiana, and Jool go out for a night on the town at Pilot's strenuous urging. John and D'Argo get very drunk and are subsequently "rolled" by two women; simultaneously, another criminal takes advantage of the distraction to spirit Jool and Chiana away with the help of what is, essentially, a date rape drug. Jool and Chiana are then drained of a body fluid that is apparently a key ingredient in the aforementioned drug, after which Chiana is almost auctioned off as a sex slave. And from where I sit, it seems that all of this is played for laughs. Again, WTF? Black comedy often works on this show, but this time around, I think the writers go too far. When people are being exploited, I don't particularly feel like yucking it up. On the contrary, I feel uncomfortable.

The story is also extremely implausible. Okay, yes -- if Pilot's reactions are any indication, the writers do seem to be aware of this fact. But still: I find it highly unlikely that every sentient race in this part of the galaxy would have the exact same gland (which contains variations of the same potent hormone). And the quick edits? I just found those bizarre and distracting. Sorry, guys. I know you were trying to do something "cool" there, but it didn't really work for me.

Writing: 3.0

I'm awarding three points for the one element of the episode that did kind of work: Pilot's incredulity.

Acting: 6.0

Raxil is over-the-top, but the others aren't that bad.

Message: 0.0

Ah, no -- the crimes perpetrated here are not funny. I'm going to have to put my foot down on this one.

Classics: DS9 6:20 - His Way

2011-11-27T19:54:00.000-08:00

Overall: 5.5

Ira Steven Behr thinks this episode is awesome. But Behr also thinks the Ferengi episodes are hilarious, so perhaps we shouldn't trust his opinion.

Plot Synopsis:

Although the article appears to be incomplete, I think Memory Alpha has enough information on this episode for you to get the gist.

The Skinny:

Don't get me wrong: I don't hate Vic Fontaine. Jimmy Darren is a decent actor, and the writers do occasionally use the character correctly (like in It's Only a Paper Moon, for example). This just doesn't happen to be one of those times. When this episode originally aired, I remember feeling profoundly disappointed with how the plot was executed -- and the passage of time has certainly done little to change my initial impression. I'm an O/K shipper to the core - we both are here at Right Fans - but somehow, this is not how I pictured Odo and Kira finally coming together.

The chief problem with this episode has already been noted by the inimitable "SF Debris" in one of his video reviews, but it's worth repeating: There are too many musical numbers! The music takes up almost half the episode, which leaves little room for the development of the actual story. As a consequence, the start of Odo and Kira's romantic relationship feels very cheesy and perfunctory. I can definitely see why neither Nana Visitor nor Rene Auberjonois was all that enthused when it came to filming this episode. The writers basically treated their characters like supporting players in a mundane romantic comedy/Rat Pack concert. There is nothing that screams "DS9!" anywhere in this piece.

The good news? Odo and Kira are not going to remain stuck in this Hollywood la-la land forever. Eventually, the writers will knock this relationship out of the park. It's just a shame they couldn't get it right on their first attempt.

Writing: 3.0

Yes, I'm dinging the writing pretty hard -- but there's no evidence here that Behr and Beimler put any thought into what they were penning. Actually, the fact that the performances at Vic's eat up so much of the episode is an indication of laziness, not skill.

Acting: 7.5

As I said, I totally do not hold the writers' bad choices against Jimmy Darren or any of the other actors. I feel like they did the best they could.

Message: 6.0

Is there a message?

At the Movies: The Muppets (2011)

2011-11-26T18:21:00.001-08:00

Overall Rating: 9.999999 - or is that 0.0999999, you'll have to ask Fozzy (joke from the movie)

I have one tiny complaint with this movie...but it winds up not mattering much - just trust me on that.

Plot Synopsis:

After long years of neglect, the Muppet Theater in Los Angeles is reaching the end of its' lease and an oil magnate plans to purchase it - ostensibly to turn it into a Muppet Museum. In secret, however, he's discovered that the lot sits on top of a rich deposit of oil and he intends to tear down the site and go drilling. The only way to save the theater (and incidentally, the rights to the use of the term "Muppet" - which our evil corporate shill will use to back a new group of harder, edgier Muppets that he thinks will sell better) is to raise 10 million dollars by the end of the lease...in less than two weeks. Our unsung hero - Walter...so obviously a Muppet...overhears the details and, with the help of his human companion Gary and his somewhat alienated girlfriend Mary (who he's been dating for ten years!), Walter seeks out Kermit the Frog and they get the band back together bit by bit. They then pitch the idea of a Muppet telethon and variety show to get the business going one last time.

They finally convince one TV exec - who makes the case that the Muppets just aren't cool anymore and won't sell, but then agrees to give them two hours after one of her shows (Punch Teacher!) is sued - but under the stipulation that they must find a human celebrity host and fill the audience for the show, which must go on in two days. After a lovely cleaning montage, the theater looks new again and the talent assembles for their rehearsals (minus Ms. Piggy, who was hurt by Kermit's refusal to be in a relationship with her if all she was seeking was fame). The first tries are disastrous as everyone is rusty and many of them need Animal's drum-beat to keep time (he's refusing to drum on the advice of his anger management counselor...LOL). But, like all theatrical productions, it comes together (it's a miracle!). Of course they at first have no audience, but people begin to trickle in as the show starts - with special guest host Jack Black (kidnapped to fill this role and spending the entire show tied to a chair begging people to believe hi that it's not part of the act...and groaning at Fozzy's horrible jokes!).

Meanwhile, Ms. Piggy has returned, but is, for a time, frosty to Kermit...and Kermit has spent the last several hours trying to convince Walter that he should be a part of the show if he can look inside himself and find a talent to show off. When it's Walter's turn to perform, he panics and breaks through the wall of the theater to escape. But during the show, Kermit explains to Piggy that he has always needed her in his life and is just not good at saying so and tries to get her to accept that she doesn't need the whole world to like her if he does. And Gary, who has gone home to be with Mary (who feels a bit jealous that he's spending all his time with Walter and the other Muppets), comes back to save the show from the oil baron and to convince Walter that he needs to grow up and believe in himself. Walter finally summons the courage to get on stage just in the nick of time for the final act and he would have propelled the Muppets to a victory and their 10 million if not for a phone-line interruption caused by the baron. The Muppets lose the battle and are forced to leave the theater...only to discover that legions of their fans have gathered outside to cheer their heroic show. Walter joins the Muppets as a full time cast member, Gary finally proposes to Mary, the oil baron gives back the theater after Gonzo knocks him over the head with a thrown bowling ball and they end on a big happy note with promises of more Muppet adeventures to come.

The Skinny:

The thing that always made Jim Henson productions great was their commitment to the steadfast believe that if we believe that children can follow a wholesome, imaginative story, learn moral and life lessons that will follow them through life, and have enough of an attention span to stick with you...they will do all of those things. This movie basically concentrated decades worth of classic Henson studio magic into 90 minutes of awesome. It stands like a great beacon in the night - stubbornly refusing to accept that a successful formula from 1985 that was based on faith in our children would fail today simply because society has moved on and is now "harder and edgier." Well let me be the first say...HELL YEAH. Society isn't some sentient being that changes by itself in some organic way over which we have no control. We live in a world shaped by our own creations. "Punch Teacher" style TV only sells because no one else is challenging this mindless, sensational garbage. You can damn well guarantee that if the Muppets came back to prime time, many of the over 100 million Americans in nuclear families with children would be clamoring to watch something about which they need not worry if their kids see. Especially if that show included humor that appealed to all generations, brightened our days with laughter and song and a belief in the possible and the wonderful, and came with characters we could easily learn to love again.

But the virtues don't end with that clarion of hope for a future not dragged inexorably into sensationalism, sex and violence. No...like any good Muppets episode, this movie tackled real life morals and lessons in a sensitive, loving way that is unmatched in children's programming today. We had Kermit's struggle to express how he feels properly to Ms. Piggy - followed by one of the most important things a child can ever learn. Namely, Kermit convinces Ms. Piggy that if she's ever going to be happy in a relationship, she can't try to be loved by the entire world - she has to focus on the one she loves. If more of us understood that a pair bond implies a certain exclusivity that makes it the wonderful and intimate thing that it is...we'd be much happier in relationships.

And there's more...because it also brings home the point that the most important part of growing up is learning who and what you are and making a conscious choice to prioritize some parts of yourself in the pursuit of what you really want. This is one of the hardest things for young adults to do...give up some dreams to pursue others. But this is exactly what Walter and Gary must do. And it means that they will have to go their separate ways...but they do so knowing that they will always be there for each other in times of need. This kind of struggle is played out in most American families as children grow up and become their own people, and only the Muppets could show it while keeping a smile on all our faces.

Just trust me...the Muppets will make you cry - just as they do on Farscape and did when you were a kid. They still have the magic over there...and this movie is among the most refreshing, wonderful things to hit the big screen in recent memory.

Writing: 9.9

I'm dinging it 0.1 for interrupting Kermit's big speech to the ad exec for a silly bit of slapstick comedy. He was about to make the passionate plea that if we believed in children, they would amaze us and he got cut off for no good reason. Otherwise...this movie is awesome personified.

Acting: 9.5

I thought the guy who played Gary was a little...erm..."Blues Clues"-ish. That was probably intentional, but still...occasionally it seemed silly.

Production: 10.0

80s production values still work for these folks...it delivers everything it promises.

Message: However many points I need to get to my final score...LOL

The message here is way way WAAAAY off the charts. It blows away the other elements of this movie and renders component scoring meaningless.

Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Ratings Compendium

2011-11-26T09:08:00.001-08:00

Continuing with our summary of the canons we cover at right fans...I give you the list for Buffy...this franchise is badly biased with most of the lousy episodes in the 4th season and most of the great episodes in 3rd and 5th seasons...but you'll see what I mean below. I suspect I'll see a number of high ratings appear from the 6th and 7th seasons as well, FWIW.

Tier One: The Elite (A+/A)

5:22 - The Gift (10.0)
5:17 - Forever (9.9)
3:14-15 - Bad Girls / Consequences (9.8)
4:10 - Hush (9.8)
3:18 - Earshot (9.8)
2:17 - Passion (9.8)
3:12 - Helpless (9.7)
5:16 - The Body (9.7)
4:15-16 - This Year's Girl / Who Are You (9.7)
2:13-14 - Surprise / Innocence (9.6)
5:07 - Fool for Love (9.6)
5:21 - The Weight of the Word (9.5)
4:22 - Restless (9.4)
5:12 - Checkpoint (9.4)
2:08 - The Dark Age (9.4)

Tier Two: The Features (A-)

3:09 - The Wish (9.3)
3:02 - Dead Man's Party (9.3)
2:07 - Lie to Me (9.3)
3:21-22 - Graduation Day (9.2)
3:20 - The Prom (9.2)
2:21-22 - Becoming (9.1)
3:13 - The Zeppo (9.1)
5:19 - Tough Love (9.0)

Tier Three: The Best of the Rest (B+)

5:01 - Buffy vs. Dracula (8.9)
5:03 - The Replacement (8.9)
5:05 - No Place Like Home (8.9)
3:08 - Lover's Walk (8.8)
5:10 - Into the Woods (8.8)
5:20 - Spiral (8.7)
1:07 - Angel (8.7)
1:05 - Never Kill a Boy on the First Date (8.7)
3:17 - Choices (8.7)
3:10 - Amends (8.5)
3:16 - Dopplegangland (8.5)
5:13 - Blood Ties (8.5)
5:08 - Shadow (8.5)

Tier Four: The Solid (B/B-)

3:03 - Hope, Faith and Trick (8.3)
6:03 - Afterlife (8.3)
4:06 - Wild at Heart (8.2)
2:09-10 - What's My Line (8.0)
2:03 - School Hard (8.0)
5:06 - Family (7.8)
6:01-02 - Bargaining (7.7)
3:07 - Revelations (7.7)
5:18 - Intervention (7.7)
1:11 - Out of Mind, Out of Sight (7.6)
2:16 - Bewitched, Bothered and Bewildered (7.5)
6:05 - Life Serial (7.5)
1:10 - Nightmares (7.5)
1:12 - Prophecy Girl (7.5)
6:06 - All the Way (7.5)
1:01-02 - Welcome to the Hellmouth / The Harvest (7.4)
3:06 - Band Candy (7.4)

Tier Five: The Average (C)

4:09 - Something Blue (7.3)
2:19 - I Only Have Eyes for You (7.2)
5:15 - I Was Made to Love You (7.2)
2:06 - Halloween (7.2)
1:04 - Teacher's Pet (7.0)
6:04 - Flooded (7.0)
5:02 - Real Me (7.0)
2:15 - Phases (6.8)
1:03 - The Witch (6.8)
3:17 - Enemies (6.7)
5:14 - Crush (6.7)
4:02 - Living Conditions (6.7)
4:11 - Doomed (6.7)
3:01 - Anne (6.6)
1:06 - The Pack (6.5)
2:12 - Bad Eggs (6.5)

Tier Six: The Weak (D)

1:09 - The Puppet Show (6.3)
4:13 - The 'I' in Team (6.3)
5:09 - Listening to Fear (6.2)
5:11 - Triangle (6.2)
4:17 - Superstar (6.0)
2:02 - Some Assembly Required (6.0)
4:14 - Goodbye Iowa (6.0)
4:08 - Pangs (6.0)
3:05 - The Homecoming (6.0)
2:18 - Killed By Death (6.0)
4:18 - Where the Wild Things Are (6.0)
2:04 - Inca Mummy Girl (5.8)
4:01 - The Freshman (5.5)
3:11 - Gingerbread (5.5)
1:04 - I Robot, You Jane (5.4)
4:04 - Fear Itself (5.3)
4:19 - New Moon Rising (5.0)
4:12 - A New Man (5.0)

Tier Seven: The Insulting (F)

2:20 - Go Fish (4.5)
4:20-41 - The Yoko Factor / Primeval (4.3)
5:04 - Out of Mind (4.0)
2:05 - Reptile Boy (4.0)
2:11 - Ted (4.0)
4:03 - The Harsh Light of Day (4.0)
4:05 - Beer Bad (3.0)
4:07 - The Initiative (2.7)
2:01 - When She Was Bad (2.0)
3:04 - Beauty and the Beasts (1.7)

Fun to break these down by season since Buffy moves in seasons with one major plot dominating each year.

Year (T7 - T6 - T5 - T4 - T3 - T2 - T1)
Yr1 (00 - 02 - 03 - 05 - 02 - 00 - 00)
Yr2 (04 - 03 - 04 - 04 - 00 - 03 - 04)
Yr3 (01 - 02 - 02 - 03 - 04 - 06 - 04)
Yr4 (05 - 09 - 03 - 01 - 00 - 00 - 04)
Yr5 (01 - 02 - 03 - 02 - 07 - 01 - 06)

So in Year one, the episodes all gathered around average, in year two, the show was very uneven but showing potential, in year three, the season was HEAVILY weighted toward the well above average quality episode, whereas year four was the reverse, despite continuing to be brilliant when it was good and in year five, a strong body of well above average episodes is highlighted by the best material the show ever produced.

Interesting...

Pardon the Interruption: House 8:7 - Dead and Buried

2011-11-25T21:03:00.000-08:00

Overall: 6.9

I liked half of this episode. Can you guess which half?

Plot Synopsis:

FOX.com has a recap here.

The Skinny:

Yes, that's right: I liked the House-centered plot. I liked it for the same reason I liked the medical case in Twenty Vicodin. When House is fully absorbed in solving a puzzle - when he's risking everything for the sake of a patient - that is when he is most sympathetic. That is when he is genuinely heroic. I ask you: How good was that scene on the mother's lawn in which House informs everyone present that the second son can be saved? I especially loved House's casually climbing into the back of a police car when all is said and done. The prospect of going to jail just doesn't matter to him right then because he's fulfilled his calling.

The writers do whiff the end of this generally strong A-plot, however. As SABR Matt pointed out in a recent email, the fact that Foreman caves and doesn't send House to jail basically renders House's house arrest a joke. If House can violate the terms of his parole whenever he chooses, what's the point of the ankle bracelet exactly? It's like when the Trek writers decided to come up with a "warp speed limit" and then proceeded to violate it in every episode thereafter. If you're not going to impose an actual limitation on House's behavior, then you should just forget the whole thing. Oh, and also: We'd like Foreman to be at least a little different from his predecessor. He shouldn't be written as "Cuddy with a penis."

And as for the B-plot? Well, the writers were unfortunately jossed by real life on that one. As it turns out, "Sybil" - the most famous sufferer of Dissociative Identity Disorder - was a fraud perpetrated by an overly ambitious mid-century psychiatrist, and a very recent book on the subject has rightfully re-opened the debate on whether DID even exists. Consequently, I wasn't that impressed with the hospital-based plot. I thought it was more fit for a soap opera than for an episode of House.

Writing: 6.3

This is the result I get when I average the 8.5 for House's plot and the 4.0 for the DID plot.

Acting: 7.5

There are no major problems with the performances, but I can't recall anything that truly stood out.

Message: 7.0

There's no thematic awesomeness to be found here, but I do like watching House play to his strengths.

Babylon 5 - Ratings Compendium

2011-11-25T10:48:00.000-08:00

Tier One - The Elite (A/A+)

1. 3:16/3:17 - War Without End (9.8)
1. 4:5 - The Long Night (9.8)
1. 5:18 - The Fall of Centauri Prime (9.8)
2. 2:9 - The Coming of Shadows (9.7)
2. 4:3 - The Summoning (9.7)
2. 4:15 - No Surrender, No Retreat (9.7)
3. 3:15 - Interludes and Examinations (9.6)

Tier Two - The Features (A-)

1. 2:20 - The Long, Twilight Struggle (9.3)
1. 3:4 - Passing Through Gethsemane (9.3)
1. 3:6 - Dust to Dust (9.3)
1. 3:10 - Severed Dreams (9.3)
1. 3:12 - Sic Transit Vir (9.3)
1. 3:20 - And the Rock Cried Out, No Hiding Place (9.3)
1. 4:2 - Whatever Happened to Mr. Garibaldi? (9.3)
1. 5:2 - The Very Long Night of Londo Mollari (9.3)
2. 2:16 - In the Shadow of Z'Ha'Dum (9.2)
2. 4:1 - The Hour of the Wolf (9.2)
2. 5:22 - Sleeping in Light (9.2)
3. 1:22 - Chrysalis (9.1)
3. 3:9 - Point of No Return (9.1)
4. 1:13 - Signs and Portents (9.0)
4. 2:3 - The Geometry of Shadows(9.0)
4. 2:15 - And Now for a Word (9.0)
4. 2:22 - The Fall of Night (9.0)
4. 3:22 - Z'Ha'Dum (9.0)
4. 4:8 - The Illusion of Truth (9.0)
4. 5:16 - And All My Dreams, Torn Asunder (9.0)

Tier Three - The Strongest of the Rest (B+)

1. 2:12 - Acts of Sacrifice (8.9)
2. 1:18/1:19 - A Voice in the Wilderness (8.8)
2. 2:21 - Comes the Inquisitor (8.8)
3. 3:8 - Messages from Earth (8.7)
3. 3:14 - Ship of Tears (8.7)
4. 3:3 - A Day in the Strife (8.5)
4. 4:6 - Into the Fire (8.5)
4. 5:14 - Meditations on the Abyss (8.5)

Tier Four - The Solid (B/B-)

1. 4:13 - Rumors, Bargains, and Lies (8.3)
1. 4:14 - Moments of Transition (8.3)
1. 4:17 - The Face of the Enemy (8.3)
1. 5:12 - The Ragged Edge (8.3)
2. 2:7 - Soul Mates (8.2)
2. 5:17 - Movements of Fire and Shadow (8.2)
3. 3:17 - Knives (8.0)
3. 4:4 - Falling Towards Apotheosis (8.0)
3. 4:11 - Lines of Communication (8.0)
3. 4:18 - Intersections in Real Time (8.0)
3. 5:11 - Day of the Dead (8.0)
4. 1:20 - Babylon Squared (7.8)
4. 4:9 - Atonement (7.8)
5. 1:1 - Midnight on the Firing Line (7.7)
5. 3:2 - Convictions (7.7)
5. 3:11 - Ceremonies of Light and Dark (7.7)
5. 3:13 - A Late Delivery from Avalon (7.7)
5. 5:8 - In the Kingdom of the Blind (7.7)
6. 2:13 - Hunter, Prey (7.5)
6. 5:5 - Learning Curve (7.5)
6. 5:13 - The Corps Is Mother, The Corps Is Father (7.5)

Tier Five - The Average (C)

1. 1:10 - Believers (7.3)
1. 1:17 - Legacies (7.3)
1. 2:8 - A Race Through Dark Places (7.3)
1. 2:14 - There All the Honor Lies (7.3)
1. 2:18 - Confessions and Lamentations (7.3)
1. 3:21 - Shadow Dancing (7.3)
1. 4:7 - Epiphanies (7.3)
1. 4:19 - Between the Darkness and the Light (7.3)
1. 5:9 - A Tragedy of Telepaths (7.3)
2. 1:8 - And the Sky Full of Stars (7.2)
2. 4:10 - Racing Mars (7.2)
2. 5:15 - Darkness Ascending (7.2)
3. 1:5 - The Parliament of Dreams (7.0)
3. 2:6 - A Spider in the Web (7.0)
3. 5:19 - Wheel of Fire (7.0)
4. 1:6 - Mind War (6.9)
5. 1:9 - Deathwalker (6.8)
5. 3:1 - Matters of Honor (6.8)
5. 4:12 - Conflicts of Interest (6.8)
5. 5:7 - Secrets of the Soul (6.8)
6. 1:3 - Born to the Purple (6.7)
6. 1:16 - Eyes (6.7)
6. 2:4 - A Distant Star (6.7)
6. 2:11 - All Alone in the Night (6.7)
6. 3:7 - Exogenesis (6.7)
6. 4:16 - The Exercise of Vital Powers (6.7)
6. 5:1 - No Compromises (6.7)
7. 2:1 - Points of Departure (6.5)
7. 3:19 - Divided Loyalties (6.5)
7. 5:3 - The Paragon of Animals (6.5)
7. 5:6 - Strange Relations (6.5)
7. 5:10 - Phoenix Rising (6.5)
7. 5:20 - Objects in Motion (6.5)
7. 5:21 - Objects at Rest (6.5)

Tier Six - The Weak (D)

1. 1:21 - The Quality of Mercy (6.3)
1. 3:18 - Walkabout (6.3)
2. 1:12 - By Any Means Necessary (6.2)
2. 4:20 - End Game (6.2)
3. 3:5 - Voices of Authority (6.0)
3. 4:21 - Rising Star (6.0)
4. The Gathering (5.7)
4. 1:7 - The War Prayer (5.7)
4. 1:15 - Grail (5.7)
5. 1:2 - Soul Hunter (5.3)
5. 1:11 - Survivors (5.3)
5. 2:2 - Revelations (5.3)
5. 2:10 - GROPOS (5.3)
5. 3:19 - Grey 17 Is Missing (5.3)
6. 2:5 - The Long Dark (5.0)

Tier Seven - The Insulting (F)

1. 4:22 - The Deconstruction of Falling Stars (4.8)
2. 1:4 - Infection (4.7)
2. 1:14 - TKO (4.7)
3. 5:4 - A View from the Gallery (4.0)

Are there patterns here beyond the obvious fact that I like the Centauri/Narn plot best? I'll leave it to you, the reader, to figure said trends out. ;)

Happy Thanksgiving!

2011-11-24T12:03:00.000-08:00

Our regular content will return tomorrow. In the meantime, enjoy your turkey!