Classics: DS9 7:5 - Crysalis

Overall Rating: 3.0

Mostly...I think EEEEEEWWW sums up my reaction to this episode.

Plot Synopsis:

The details may be found at Wikipedia.org, but I wouldn't recommend wasting your time.

The Skinny:

First the less problematic issues with this script:

1) When we reviewed "Statistical Probabilities," we concluded that none of the mutants with the possible exception of Jack were scary enough to have been locked away in a nuthouse and barred from their freedom (and even Jack was too redeemable to really work).  Well that problem is considerably worse in this episode.  Even Jack is vaguely lovable in this episode, to say nothing for Serena or Patrick.  And...Serena's cataleptic state was solved practically overnight by Bashir...are we really saying Bashir is just...that much better tha whole teams of top notch doctors on Earth?  I mean...really?

2) If doctor/patient relationship rules were as bendable as they seem to be in this episode, there would be a lot of victims of diseases being taken advantage of by their former doctors.  Just because you tansfer a patient out of your care doesn't mean the rules no longer apply overnight.  They will still think of you as their doctor and you will still have a lack of balance in your relationship.  It's not fair to the patient and it's dangerous for the doctor.

3) Statistical Probabilities, for all its flaws, and Doctor Bashir, I Presume (with its many virtues) took the issue of genetic manipulation seriously.  Just because Bashir wasn't responsible for his own genetic manipulation doesn't mean there weren't consequences for it when the truth came out.  And just because Serena is now alert and talkative does not mean she should be given carte blanche to do as she pleases.  The very incentives Starfleet supposedly worried about for genetic alteration and eugenics are in play if people like Serena are allowed absolute freedom.

4) I don't get it...Echevarria is usually so good at characters...how could he take Bashir backwards four years for a cheesy man bites girl romance after all of the progress he seems to have made?

Now for the biggest flaw of them all - it's...fucking...BORING.  The dialogue is weak and formulaic, right down to the singing and quasi-romantic gobbledygook.  The plot is completely pointless - I don't see how this is supposed to be a big lesson learned for Bashir and I really don't see how this does anything for any of the other characters - even the mutants!  And...I'm sorry but the acting among the mutants was terrible - especially Serena (nice voice...bad acting...sorry honey).

You know it's boring when that is a bigger issue for me than Doctor Bashir violating medical ethics and victimizing a girl just waking up from a cataleptic state.  UGH

Writing: 2.0

Sorry Renee...I love most of your work...this one sucked.

Acting: 5.0

The guest cast was lousy, Alexander Siddig seems to have taken a big step backwards this week, and no one else had enough screen time to save it.

Message: 2.0

Yeah...I have a huge problem with the idea that it's ever ethical (and not punished) to dump a patient off to your subordinate so you can bang her.  Please...don't do that again, DS9 writers...you're better than that.

NEW!: Once Upon a Time 1:11 - Fruit of the Poisonous Tree

Overall: 7.6

This episode's message - while not always communicated with finesse - is positively Catholic.

Classics: BtVS 6:10 - Wrecked

Overall Rating: 6.7

While I think the plot points here are plausible...the exact execution seems *very* rushed.

Plot Synopsis:

The details of this after-school special can be found at the all knowing Wikipedia.

The Skinny:

As I said in the last Buffy review, I find it wholly plausible that Willow would slip further into magic addiction the instant her emotional rudder (Tara) turned her away over it.  Addictions are insidious - they creep up on you and you never see them coming, and when someone says you have a problem, often your first impulse is to assume that they're the one with the problem and to rebel.  Amy didn't help matters...but Willow let herself get drawn further down the sinkhole even though she knew it was wrong.  Right up until Willow's binge on the Cocaine of dark magics with Rak (even the second such binge with poor Dawn along for the ride), all of the relevant plot points were completely plausible (though it would have been good, I think, to stretch out the coke-addict phase a bit longer).  It's the final resolution to the episode that makes it feel a little like an after-school special.  Willow does wrong, gets Dawn injured, and collapses in bed...and then she and Buffy have this strangely stunted conversation in which Willow mouths the words the writers are doubtlessly thinking to explain her character arc exposition-style while Buffy nods and says very curt, very over-simplified things in response.

I mean, just get a load of this exchange:

BUFFY: I just don't understand. I don't understand why you'd go to see somebody like Rack, and I certainly don't understand why you'd drag Dawn into it.
WILLOW: I don't know. The magic, I ... I thought I had it under control, and then ... I didn't.
BUFFY: Because of Tara?
WILLOW: No. It started before she left. (pauses) It's why she left.
BUFFY: (pauses) Seemed like things were going so well.
WILLOW: It was. But I mean ... if you could be ... you know, plain old Willow or super Willow, who would you be? (looks at Buffy) I guess you don't actually have an option on the whole super thing.
BUFFY: Will, there's nothing wrong with you. You don't need magic to be special.
WILLOW: Don't I? I mean, Buffy, who was I? Just ... some girl. Tara didn't even know that girl.
BUFFY: You are more than some girl. (walks into the room) And Tara wants you to stop. She loves you.
WILLOW: We don't know that.
BUFFY: I know that. I promise you.
WILLOW: I just ... it took me away from myself, I was ... free.

 WOW!  We just went from Buffy being unbelievably pissed at Willow and Willow being emotionally wrecked by injuring Dawn to Willow having complete and total understanding about the nature of her addiction and the necessary action to take to recover...and to make it worse, all of those negative things Willow says about herself, Buffy shrugs off with a simple "it's not true."  That just seems...very perfunctory to me.

Meanwhile, we have Buffy...after literally bringing down the house with Spike, he struts around like he God's gift to Slayers, makes some exceedingly disgusting comments all episode long, and the most Buffy can do is scoff and make idle threats (and wallpaper her room with garlic...LOL).  But that's not out of character for the discombobulated, depressed Buffy.  What is out of character is what will happen in the very next episode after Buffy internally vows to give up Spike.  Her reform and Willow's don't exactly stay on the same path.  While Willow struggles to be magic-free for a week, Buffy enjoys being invisible long enough to have sex with Spike again...because being invisible gives you a free pass??  So Buffy's plot in this episode seems a little hollow too.

Their story arcs may make sense...but I don't think things should have progressed as quickly as they did for either of the characters.  This would have been a much more impact-heavy episode if we'd simply ended on the emotion note they struck with Dawn slapping Willow across the face for what she did.  That moment really makes you shudder.

Writing: 6.5

As I said...good plot, weak dialogue, bad timing here.

Acting: 7.5

Alyson Hannigan does a solid job with her scenework right up until the final confrontation with Buffy...at which point the way she plays it seems rather flat.  SMG was a little off her game this week as well IMHO...on the other hand, Michelle Trachtenberg gives a nice performance - you really feel sorry for Dawn...none of the "adults" in her life are doing her any favors except for Tara...and Tara can't exactly be around much right now.

Message: 6.0

I get what they're trying to say about escapism not being the answer to life's problems - and I wholeheartedly agree - but the delivery just feels very heavy-handed and simplistic because it all happens too fast.

NEW!: Merlin 4:4 - Aithusa

Overall: 6.0

This one's a bit formulaic, truth be told -- although the last scene is sweet.

Classics: SG1 7:2 - Homecoming

Overall Rating: 5.3

Pretty standard action fare, with a lot of hand-waving to explain the cast change, the fortunate sequence of events that get our heroes and Kelowna out of danger, etc.

Plot Synopsis:

The full details can be found here, courtesy of the Stargate Wiki.

The Skinny:

I have about five unanswered questions regarding the plot in this episode - it seems very slapped together and very little of it makes sense.

1. If Nequadria were ever a viable power source, wouldn't the Goa'uld who invented it have risen to power among the System Lords?  And if I'm smart enough to ask that question...why wasn't Anubis?
2. Why would the Andari and the Tiranians know anything about Jonas Quinn other than what they saw at the Kelownan gate room...and why would what they saw convince them that Jonas needed to be their Goa'uld instructor?  What's so special about his Goa'uld experience relative to what every Kelownan experienced during this siege.
3. Why would Yew's first prime throw Teal'c in a holding cell one day...then slightly later agree with Teal'c that Yew has gone nutters and needs help from another System Lord to kill Anubis?  Nothing changed in the intervening hours to explain this change of heart.
4. Here's the biggest plot hole of them all...why would Baal's forces destroy Anubis' ship and not see his escape pod?  And further...why would they actually honor their deal with the Shol'va Teal'c and leave Langara alone?  This is Baal we're talking about...he loves screwing us over for his amusement.
5. And finally...did they really have to make so much soup off the Daniel's memory is slightly off oyster for bad jokes only to have him just be like "oh I remember everything now including tiny details from right before I died!" at the end?

With so many plot holes and hand-waving moments throughout the episode and the action filled with so many "wow, that was convenient" moments that it strained credibility...I just can't get enthused.  Especially when there wasn't any real character development and the action plot wasn't all that interesting.  All in all...an ordinary episode turned into a subpar episode by sloppy writing and made to feel awkward and not all that relatable.

Writing: 4.0

This is sloppy even by mid-season SG-1 action plot standards.

Acting: 6.0

Pretty much all of the principle players were playing this episode a little too cool for my taste...everything was verrrry mellow.

Message: 6.0

There is no message, only Zool.

Classics: Farscape 3:22/4:1 - Dog with Two Bones/Crichton Kicks

Overall: 6.0

I think SABR Matt is right: I think the writers blew their plot wad with Into the Lion's Den and, at this point, didn't really know where to go next.

Plot Synopsis:

Dog with Two Bones is summarized here.

Crichton Kicks is summarized here.

The Skinny:

The storytelling in these episodes is quite rough. In many cases, the plot elements either don't make sense from a character perspective or are left disappointingly underdeveloped. Consider, for example, the rogue Leviathan in Dog with Two Bones. Because her back-story is delivered in a perfunctory manner through Pilot, we don't really get a chance to connect with her and sympathize with her madness. Consequently, when she's destroyed, there's no real emotional impact beyond, "Holy crap! D'Argo's ship is ridiculously overpowered."

And John's daydreams? Those are even more perplexing. When you get right down to it, I just don't accept the premises that drive said visions. First of all, while it is true that the human race is currently unprepared to deal with someone like Scorpius, it's certainly not a given that Earth would be unable to accept John's friends. I think that would heavily depend on where John decides to land. Here in the West, we've been exposed to the concept of an alien through our popular entertainment for many decades -- and not all of those portrayals have been threatening. For every War of the Worlds, we have a Star Trek populated with extraterrestrials that are quite friendly and harmless.

Secondly, I don't buy the idea that, were John to bring Aeryn back to Earth, he would try to shoe-horn her into the "traditional" wifely role via a "white wedding." I think John knows Aeryn better than that, number one. Number two, kick-ass women - like aliens - are certainly not foreign to every denizen of our little blue planet. Okay, yes -- it would probably not be a good idea for John and Aeryn to settle in, say, Saudi Arabia. But the U.S. would work just fine. There are plenty of places in this country where Aeryn would be free to pursue a job in law enforcement -- or something else that is equally dangerous. And John? Well, I don't see any reason why John wouldn't be able to offer Aeryn the kind of wedding - and the kind of domestic life - that she actually wants.

The bottom line is this: The writers are portraying Earth as this repressed, xenophobic monolith, and that's not what our planet is actually like. Instead of venting their personal frustrations with our failings, the writers should've given the human race a little more credit. We are diverse -- and in many cultures, we are quite open-minded and inquisitive.

The second half of this two-parter is marginally better; at the very least, I don't spend the entire hour mumbling, "Where the hell did this come from?" Still, I didn't feel especially engaged in the story. By the time Crichton Kicks rolls around, we've segued into a standard action plot, and that's a bit of a let-down after the depth of the aforementioned Into the Lion's Den. I will say this though: 1812 is one of the most adorable things ever. I totally want to own the plushie version.

Writing: 6.0

As I noted above, the writers spend the first hour of this two-parter wandering around in a semi-haze, and they don't completely recover by the end of part two.

Acting: 8.0

The acting is good, though. It's hard to deny that.

Message: 4.0

The anti-Earth undertones are quite off-putting. We're not really that bad.

Pardon the Interruption: House 8:9 - Better Half

Overall: 6.2

Yes, I am back on the House beat -- and unfortunately, House's car is still stuck on neutral.