Monday Commentary: A Quick Dragon Con AAR

That's right, ladies and gents: It's time for another AAR!

Dragon Con 2014 was my eleventh Dragon Con -- and my eighth as a volunteer. At this point, I don't even bother to hit the Walk of Fame or queue up for a media guest panel because I've already met my favorites (those who happen to be living, that is). Indeed, except for a couple of forays into the Marriott to see some Classics Track events and at least one trip to the dealers' halls, I spend all of my time in the bowels of the Hyatt, where Verizon phones have to be set on airplane mode (at least if you want to avoid being an "outlet hugger"). Boring? Mayhaps, but it suits me. As I remarked in my last post, the people who hang about the Science Fiction Literature Track are My People, and I would much rather stay in one place and chat with them than fight the madness elsewhere. (And it does get pretty mad -- especially during peak hours. I think I was accidentally stepped on every single time I went to get something to eat. The Peachtree Center Food Court was just that crowded.)

Who are some of my fellow trolls in the Hyatt dungeon? Well, first we have Sue, our intrepid leader. Sue's been in the fandom since the mid-seventies, so she's actually seen Larry Niven drunk and singing filk songs in some random corridor at a World Con. ("Back when we were both much younger,"she was quick to note.) I had several long conversations with her about fandom issues, including the whole "cosplay is not consent" thing (which we both felt should be covered by common sense or, if necessary, the local police) and the various SJW crusades that have been poisoning our well water. As a small-L libertarian, Sue welcomes honest discussion and a touch of controversy; actually, this year, she was a little disappointed that everyone was so nice on panels that were intended to be contentious. (And yes: Even the more outspoken Baen authors were exceedingly well-behaved. At one point, John Ringo decided to be frank about why he didn't go into teaching in his early twenties, but that's the only time anyone succeeded in causing offence.)

We also have Bill. Bill's been in the fandom even longer, he's ridiculously well-read (especially with the early stuff), and - I hear tell - he has an astounding science fiction library that I dearly wish I could raid. This year, Bill fell on his sword for the rest of us and listened to a paper presented by a young - and evidently ignorant - academic claiming that Heinlein was both racist and sexist. If I were not up at the Baen Roadshow, I probably would've ripped that chickadee a new one over her hack reliance on presentism and her absolute failure to look into Heinlein's actually very progressive attitudes on both race and sex. Bill, on the other hand, was able to restrain himself, though the conversation we had afterwards was pretty damned fun.

And then we have Shawn. Shawn is an AP English teacher in the Atlanta metro area, so we have some common experiences that go beyond science fiction specifically. We both know exactly what's wrong with Common Core, we've both seen a precipitous crash in our students' writing and critical thinking skills, and we both decry the push to indulge our students' tastes, which hampers the development of true empathy and encourages shallow analysis. Shawn's personality is a bit hard to describe, but he's got this dark, sarcastic quality that frequently makes me laugh. At one point, for instance, he jokingly called me a home-wrecking whore because - well - I accidentally flirted with Robert J. Sawyer on a panel. (Sorry! Sawyer made a remark about how he'd never dream of hitting on me, and the "Well, I'm available..." came out before I thought about what I was saying. This is what happens when I'm both focused on entertaining an audience and operating on insufficient sleep.)

Oh, yes! Speaking of which, I did appear on two panels:

• The first was "Science Fiction 101" on Friday afternoon; the purpose of said panel was to generate a list of works that were "essential" to understanding the genre as a whole. (Note to Dad: Toni Weisskopf mentioned the connection between Heinlein's Starship Troopers and Joe Haldeman's The Forever War, which allowed me to talk about my college term paper and add Card's Ender's Game to the conversation.) Was this a successful presentation? Yes, I think so. Personally, I think our track needs to have more "history of" panels in the future, as there are quite a few people walking around who have no freakin' clue what the genre - or the fandom - was like in its early days. (See also: the people who think the exploration of "alternate sexual lifestyles" is something totally rebellious and exciting. Ah, no -- if anything, I think a story featuring a traditional Christian marriage may be more subversive.)
• The second was "The Big Stuff" on Saturday afternoon, in which we discussed high concept sci-fi. I was the only fan on this panel and consequently felt ridiculously out-classed, but I managed to get some words in edgewise about my desire to see high-tech personal medical monitors that are linked to the local EMS and about my qualified optimism regarding high-tech in general.  

I also got a chance to meet Larry Niven, but I'm really afraid I struck him as a complete doofus. I remember telling him that Lucifer's Hammer was the second work of science fiction I read as a middle-grader and that my father is also a big fan, but after that, my memory's kind of a blur.

Photographic proof!

Was it a good con overall? Absolutely -- although, once again, I do wish I had more time for after-hours socializing. I was staying in a hotel up in the Emory area, so I was beholden to the MARTA schedule and consequently couldn't hang around the BFC for very long -- nor could I go out with some of the CLFA members who were in attendance. Next year, I'm going to try to get a room downtown so I can come and go whenever I please. That should makes things a thousand times easier.

Dragon*Con 2013

This year, I'm going to use Tumblr to post periodic con updates. Here's the link to my feed:

Hobsonphile's Tumblr

I'm posting this mainly for Dad, but others should feel free to click as well.

(And Dad, try not to be too freaked out by what you see there already. Tumblr is... a different audience, and I have adjusted my voice accordingly. Fannish double life -- I have one. ;))

Dragon*Con 2011 - Highlights and Lowlights (Part III)

(Part one can be found here. Part two can be found here.)

Sometimes when my fellow staffers and I are playing door guards for one of our events, we like to sell our track to passers by. "Come see our panel on [insert literary topic here]! Books rule, TV and movies drool!" is one common refrain. But actually, as you all know, I do media too. Since 2005, I've spoken on panels covering such topics as the depiction of genocide on Babylon 5, the flaws of Trek's Prime Directive, the omnipresence of the military in science fiction, etc.

This year, I appeared on three AMSF panels, two of which I will now discuss:

The Failures of the New V

On Friday afternoon, the AMSF track held a fan discussion on the reimagined (and recently canceled) V that ultimately became a conversation regarding why the new series failed. Ultimately, the audience, my fellow panelists, and I settled on three major problems. First of all, there was no unifying vision. One minute, the writers painted for us a frightening picture of how the modern mass media can be manipulated by our enemies. The next minute, they hopped onto the spiritual track and started talking about the human soul. And were we ever quite clear on Anna's intentions for humanity? I appreciate subtlety as much as the next geek, but "we want to use you to breed a master race" never had quite the same impact as "we think you're yummy". I understood - I think - what the writers were shooting for there. And I definitely understood that the threat was existential for the human race. But evidently, my comprehension was in no way universal.

Secondly, the human characters were, by and large, poorly written. In opposing two mother figures, the writers were trying to do something interesting and unique, but unfortunately, Erica just wasn't badass enough to serve as a credible opponent for Anna. "She was always focused on that damned kid," said Joe Crowe, "and he was a douchebag." That last comment was met with the unanimous audience sentiment that, in the end, Tyler "needed killin'".

But perhaps the biggest problem with V was articulated by Aaron, the former director of the AMSF track, when he complained: "They're going to resist the V's -- but they don't want to hurt anyone?" I almost jumped out of my chair and kissed my Irish acquaintance. In the end, what killed V was political correctness. Remember the episode in which Erica's resistance cell was presented with an opportunity to destroy one of Anna's blue energy reactors? Well, according to one member of the audience, the writers actually intended for New York to be destroyed. Oh, yes, you read that right -- originally, Erica was supposed to make the decision to kill several million people in order to save the rest. Can you imagine how awesome that would've been? Unfortunately, ABC put the kibosh on that whole plan in the name of "sensitivity". Ugh, ugh, ugh. Dear network execs: The threat Anna represented, as I noted above, was existential. In a situation like that, collateral damage is a given. If you can't accept that the good guys can kill people inadvertently in their desperate struggle to survive and yet still be the good guys, get out of the science fiction market. Seriously.

Why All the Blood and Guts?

On Sunday night, meanwhile, I participated in a panel discussion with a more general focus, namely: Why have geeky media products in recent years featured so much graphic violence? Why depict, in unflinching detail, an alien vivisection in Battle: Los Angeles? Why the artful blood spatters in 300? My own theory regarding this development is two-fold. First of all, there's media entropy. Hollywood's system of incentives is such that a film maker really can't make a name for himself unless he goes further than everyone else. "This guy over here showed someone getting stabbed multiple times on camera? So what? I'm going to depict a decapitation." Basically, it's a reflection of the entire art world's century-long game of oneupsmanship.

Secondly, we have to keep in mind that the people who make our movies and TV shows hail from an extremely monolithic subculture that has a political interest in showing humanity at its worst. Hollywood makes movies in which the supposed good guys behave in a gratuitously cruel manner because Hollywood, for the most part, believes that the good guy/bad guy divide does not exist -- and they want you to believe that too. They want you to believe that, for example, our War on Terror has been a continuous Abu Ghraib from one end to the other -- and they want you to forget about the soldiers giving food to Iraqi children.

Overall, I agree with Aaron that violence does serve the story in some instances. But I feel it needs to be balanced by moments which inspire the audience. It all comes down to this question: What is the purpose of art? Should art shock and repel? Or should art attempt to elevate? I prefer the latter mission.

***** And here, I think I shall end my report by providing a link to my small Facebook photo album:

Dragon*Con 2011.

On the whole, I think the con was a rousing success. I was certainly sad when it ended. It's always hard to return to my mundane working life after a weekend of pure nerdy bliss.

Dragon*Con 2011 - Highlights and Lowlights (Part II)

(Continued from here.)

Politics... in... Space!

Despite the fiasco that was "Liberals in Space," John Ringo was kind enough to make an appearance at "Libertarians in Space" on Saturday evening. Also in attendance were Michael Z. Williamson (author, most notably, of Freehold) and Mark L. Van Name (author of the excellent Children No More). There were no further outbreaks of leftwing foot-in-mouth disease, likely because all three of these authors hail from Baen. (It's difficult to be incivil when you're dealing with your co-workers.)

The dominant theme at this panel - and at "Conservatives in Space" on Monday - dealt with the requirements of space travel and colonization. Ringo, Williamson, and Van Name (and Chuck Gannon at the later panel) all seemed to be of the opinion that, say, Heinlein's rational anarchy wouldn't really work in the early days of space colonization because, quite frankly, space is too demanding. On a space ship - or in a space colony - there are many dirty jobs that need to get done, and that requires some kind of regimentation -- some kind of discipline system.

As I listened to these discussions last weekend, it occurred to me that this might be the reason why the military has such a presence in space-based science fiction. The military has a built-in chain-of-command, an internal culture that emphasizes strict obedience, and government funding, so it is particularly well-suited to tackling the hazards of space. And that brings up the following question: Is it at all possible for a civilian group to emulate the military's organizational genius? I think yes, but the group in question would have to possess a special set of qualities:

• Its members would have to be self-starting ants, not grasshoppers. They have to be people who are capable of recognizing what needs to get done and are willing to do it. If the colony needs a new latrine trench, for example, our ideal civilian group would be full of men and women who'd automatically grab their shovels for the good of their fellow colonists. And by the way, when things go all to hell - and you can bet they will in space - we need the kind of people who pull together and help each other without outside assistance. Space is not for the entitled complainers who expect the government to swoop in and save their bacon.
• Its members would have to be fairly homogenous. And here, I'm not talking about racial homogeneity necessarily; I'm talking about cultural homogeneity. Diversity is great, but it's a hard sociological truth that diversity and trust have an inverse relationship -- and in the early days of space colonization at least, trust is absolutely crucial.
• Its members would need to have access to substantial capital. Hopefully, technological innovation (driven by private sector) will ultimately reduce the cost of the flight to our hypothetical space colony, but our colonists would still need a butt ton of other supplies to be successful, and that means they need money -- and a lot of it.

Personally, I'm partial to the Mayflower model. In other words, I can envision a religious group - like, for example, an order of Catholic monks - that would have the features listed above. And wouldn't that be a great novel?

Dragon*Con 2011 - Highlights and Lowlights (Part I)

First of all, this report is going to be organized according to topic, not chronology. Secondly, it won't be comprehensive because several events require more comment than others. (I had fun doing the "Villains Explain Themselves" panel with Joe Crowe and fellow staffer Shawn, for instance, but there's not much more I can share other than: "Shawn and Joe kept the audience in hysterics for the entire hour; I was just along for the ride.") And lastly, I'm going to publish it in multiple parts because my reflections on the con are already turning out to be rather extensive. That being said, let's get started with part one!

Really?! You Said That to John Frelling Ringo?!

This year, our track (the Sci-Fi & Fantasy Literature Track) held three panels with a political theme: "Liberals in Space," "Libertarians in Space," and "Conservatives in Space." The latter two evolved into interesting talks upon which I will expand in a later post. The first was a disaster, and it's all because a certain staff member whose name I won't publicly mention couldn't control his impulses.

I did not personally witness what went down at "Liberals in Space" because it was held during my break, and I was over at the Marriott getting sprayed with Joe's Hulk cologne (I guess Joe decided not to use the Goofy cologne this time). The moderator of the panel told me what happened when I came back, however, and other witnesses have verified his version of the story, so I'm going to trust that what I heard is accurate.

Apparently, the panel started off calmly enough with a discussion of the various definitions of "liberal." Unfortunately, after about fifteen minutes, the aforementioned staffer, who is a hardcore third-world-style Marxist (and someone whose posts I eventually had to hide on Facebook because I couldn't stand his radical BS), began to go off on a tangent. He remarked that many people in the developing world deserve credit for the progress they've made in recent years (which is true) -- but then lashed out and accused John Ringo, the professional on the panel, of keeping such people as slaves.

Okay -- after some reflection, I think I understand this guy's twisted, borked up logic. You see, according to current Marxist thinking, people in the third world are still struggling socially and economically (compared to the developed world) solely because of Western imperialism and exploitation. If you're of this frame of mind, I suppose you could conclude that unapologetic American capitalists - like John Ringo - are virtual slavers.

Of course, this idea that people in, say, the Caribbean or in Africa are impoverished because prosperous Western nations like the United States have stolen the developing world's wealth doesn't come even remotely close to the full story. Yes -- the colonial era was not a shining moment in Western history. But to say that we are entirely at fault for third-world squalor is to ignore the fact that, for example, many of these countries are run by thugs who either hoard their countries' wealth in their own mansions or promote Marxist economic schemes that have been proven to be utter failures -- or they do both.

Plus, it shows monumental arrogance on the part of the offending staffer to shoot his mouth off at an invited guest. You may hate John Ringo's guts and find his political opinions and his (voluminous and popular) literary output abhorrent, but as a full-time Dragon*Con volunteer, you have a duty to remain civil. After all, you represent the con.

As you might expect, Ringo wasn't happy to be the target of the above-described slur. Understandably, he stormed out of the panel -- and took half the audience with him. I probably would've done the same, especially if I had Ringo's family history. You see, in the 17th century, one of Ringo's ancestors was captured by Moorish pirates and sold into slavery. This ancestor ultimately led a successful slave revolt and in the process befriended a black man. Ringo's ancestor then took his new buddy to the Americas and fought against the prejudices of the time in order to ensure that said friend would be able to live as a freeman. The upshot? In a sense, Ringo's ancestor was an early proponent of racial equality.

My friend and I ran into Ringo on our way to the MARTA station last night, and we spoke to him for a few minutes about what had happened on Friday. He told us the story I related above and also stated (and I'm paraphrasing here), "I've learned over the years to recognize when a conversation is not going to go anywhere, and when I hit that point, I just end it right there." Indeed. What my fellow staffer did, basically, was play the race card, and he did it - as all leftists do - to shut down Ringo's argument. Personally, I'm glad that our director had the stones to ask for his badge.

(To be continued...)

Dragon*Con Note:

A full report on my Dragon*Con 2011 experience will be posted sometime tomorrow night -- but believe me, it's going to be worth the wait:

• One, I need to comment on an incident of radical leftwing what-the-frellery in which one of our more conservative literary guests was the target of a vile and nonsensical insult.
• Two, I need to complete write-ups for the most thought-provoking panel discussions I've attended (as either an audience member or a participant).
• And three, I actually have pictures this time! (I loaned my camera out to a friend who had more time to people-watch.)

Do stay tuned...

Dragon*Con Highlights, Part Four - More Events!

Now that I've had some sleep, I can briefly comment on some other interesting panels and presentations I staffed this past weekend:

The Villains Hall of Fame

We had a little media bleed-over on this panel: one panelist (whose name I've forgotten) decided to play the hunter who shot Bambi's mom (next year, he's thinking of playing the rabies that necessitated the death of Old Yeller), while Gary Mitchell portrayed Jabba the Hut (and yes - hilariously - he did the voice). Joe Crowe and Shawn (one of my fellow staffers), however, pulled characters out of books; Joe selected Elric of Melniboné from Michael Moorcock's fantasy series, and Shawn played Professor Snape. I've never read Michael Moorcock's stories, so I can't comment intelligently on Joe's contribution. Shawn's Snape, on the other hand, was excellent, though I must say that I question the classification of Snape as a "villain." I think Snape is more of an anti-hero; he's an awful teacher, he seriously needs to get over his high school baggage, and yes, he's a former Death Eater, but I think that word "former" is very important. Throughout the Harry Potter series, Snape serves the right side. He doesn't always do the right thing happily, but there's certainly a reason why Harry names one of his children after him.

Baen's Traveling Road Show & Prize Patrol

This is the event at which Larry Dixon made his already quoted "breasts with explosions" remark, but this is also the event at which I learned that Jody Lynn Nye has written a novel (to be released by Baen in April 2011) that she advertises as "Jeeves and Wooster... IN SPACE!" That is seriously the coolest thing ever, and I am totally buying that book.

A Tour of Known Space - Larry Niven's World

I served as moderator for this one. After an audience member brought it up, I cited Lucifer's Hammer as one of my "formative books" and noted that some of the images in that novel made an impression on my middle-school-aged consciousness that lingers to this day. I also got a chance to talk about Fallen Angels, "Inconstant Moon," and, of course, "Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex." Along the way, I encountered an audience member whose exposure to Niven mirrored my own in every particular. It was rather eerie.

My fellow panelists and much of the audience seemed to be of the opinion that Niven's earlier solo works are better than his later solo works - that recently, Niven has turned out better novels when he's collaborating with Pournelle. Admittedly, I haven't read Niven's complete oeuvre, so I can't throw in my own two cents on that particular judgment. I'd be interested to hear what Dad thinks. (Hi, Dad! Have you ever read The Integral Trees? Or the Magic Goes Away series? Before this panel, my familiarity with Niven was limited to the Known Space canon, some of his stand-alone collaborations with Pournelle, and some of his short stories and articles.)

Science Fiction & Politics

Our director did a great job assembling a balanced group of participants; conservatives, libertarians, liberals, and leftists were all represented. The panel began with a rather sedate discussion of the challenges of fairly portraying the side you oppose (John Ringo admitted he has trouble getting inside the mind of a liberal and openly acknowledged that this is a weakness in his writing), but things got a lot more lively when the authors on the left side declared that libertarians have no ethics and the libertarian author (whose name escapes me) gamely took up the task of defending his beliefs.

My personal comments/observations:

1) With all due respect to a certain military SF author, I don't believe the backroom discussions one individual heard as a kid represent the attitudes of the entire oil and gas industry. The plural of anecdote is not data.
2) Yes, folks, let's look at Sweden.
3) A certain socialist alt history author may remember a time when tax rates were higher and unemployment rates were lower, but Ringo is right: that was after World War II, when the U.S. had no industrialized competition to speak of.
4) I agree that there is a power elite in this country, but its membership is not limited to corporate CEO's. Have you ever noticed that our politicians all seem to go to the same few schools? That our national-level journalists all seem to have similar backgrounds? That our cultural gatekeepers and intellectuals all seem to hold similar views? The "elite" is a much larger class than the left would have us believe, and it cuts across party lines.

God Between the Lines

This was the panel I proposed and moderated. In addition to yours truly, this panel also featured Christian writers M.B. Weston and Chad Sides.

I started off by noting the contradiction one spies when one places the well-known controversy Harry Potter has kicked up in certain Christian churches beside the writings of J.R.R. Tolkien and C.S. Lewis, both devout Christians and both believers in the catechetical power of the "fantastic." I stated that the medium of science fiction and fantasy need not contradict Christianity - that it can, in fact, be a perfect purveyor of that faith.

I then asked the panelists which method of incorporating Christianity they preferred: the Tolkien method, in which the Christianity is immanent, or the Lewis method, in which the Christianity is more overt. Weston and Sides believed there was a place in literature for both approaches. I pointed out that Tolkien's method increases the chances of reaching nonbelievers.

We then moved to specific works. Astonishingly, no one in the audience had heard of Andrew Peterson's young adult novels, so I spent several minutes discussing the imagery to be found in the Wingfeather Saga. I also told the audience about Marcher Lord Press and its mission to serve the Christian sci-fi and fantasy niche market. Audience members then brought up Zenna Henderson, Madaleine L'Engle, and Jeffrey Overstreet, and these author's works were also discussed.

Finally, we discussed the presence of Christian images and themes in works that aren't traditionally identified as Christian, including Harry Potter and The Hunger Games trilogy (the third book of which will be reviewed on this blog in the next few weeks). One audience member went so far as to say that Carl Sagan's Contact was one of the best arguments for God he had ever read - an interesting claim given that Sagan was an atheist. Some media was mentioned, but I'm proud to say that 90% of our discussion was focused on books. The general consensus of all present was best expressed by Weston when she stated that "Truth is Truth, and it has a funny way of popping up when you least expect it." I finished by adding that non-Christian authors often can't help using Judeo-Christian symbols because Christianity is indelibly written into the fabric of our culture.

Overall, I think this panel went extremely well. Several people came up to thank me afterward.

Philip K. Dick - The Man in the High Castle

I was sitting in the back playing room monitor for this one, but I ended up asking a question after all when the panelists began to discuss the psychotic break Dick experienced and his subsequent fevered attempts to make sense of it. When they started going on about the "pink light" and Dick's kooky letters to his acquaintances, I just had to inquire whether anyone had written a biography of the man. (I want to read it for diagnostic purposes, you see.)

Books You May Have Missed

This was a discussion of obscure and/or older authors. Midway through, panelist John Snider mentioned John Christopher, which made me jump from my chair in excitement. I subsequently recommended the Tripods Trilogy to the surprisingly large Monday morning crowd...

... and that, readers, takes us to the end of the convention. Alas. Tomorrow, we shall return to our regularly scheduled programming.

Dragon*Con Highlights, Part Three - The Staff Perspective

I've been on Dragon*Con's volunteer staff for four years now, which gives me a unique viewpoint on the whole convention experience. Being on staff means I rarely - or never - get to see the media guest panels, the parade, or the Masquerade live (fortunately, D*C TV records the big events for posterity, so I have the option of viewing them at a later time). As a matter of fact, of the now five host hotels, I usually make it to a mere two. Funny thing is, I'm okay with that. My more circumscribed con experience wears me down as it is.

In any case, what I primarily seek from the con-going experience is not the chance to meet TV and movie stars - though I've met quite a few in the autograph lines, which I usually prefer over the large-room Q & A sessions. I go to the con to talk to other fans. Working on a fan track gives me ample opportunity to do this. It also gives me a chance to people-watch, another enjoyable activity. There's nothing better than playing door guard and listening to snippets of passing hallway conversations. Talking to my fellow staffers is also a treat because we all experience the same tribulations any super large con can bring.

Yesterday, I was walking down the stairs by the con suite, and I heard two sec ops guys bitching about their job (which is arguably the hardest). One informed the second that they had just been assigned to control the crowds outside the Centennial ballrooms (where many big-draw events are held), and the second guy exclaimed, "Nooo! I'm gonna kill myself!" Thus commenced an elaborate conversation detailing how the second guy could kill himself discreetly and how they could dispose of the body. Later on, I heard another pair of sec ops guys joking around downstairs about their explosive diarrhea and contagious rashes, and when I turned around and shot them a "What?" look, they said, "We're just messing around. We like to do that in front of large groups just to freak people out." Apparently, working security makes you a bit punchy after a while. I personally don't blame them for being a little twisted.

A fan track job is a breeze by comparison, but we still have the occasional moment here or there when we feel like blowing our brains out. This happened to a fellow very conservative staffer on my track who had to endure a panel that quickly descended into feminist bitching about the lack of strong female characters in literature. (Unfortunately, in fandom, this is a common occupational hazard.) What I find mildly irksome is the way normal attendees fail to follow the traffic rules. When I as a staffer have to get somewhere right now, please don't stop in the middle of a crowded, narrow hallway to take a picture. I agree that some of the cos play is great, but there are open spaces set aside for picture taking for a reason. Use them!

The folks who work with me tend to be a little more mature than the average attendee, which also results in scenes like the one that happened late last night while my director, another staffer, and I were playing door guard for our last panel. We were definitely into the after-dark period of Dragon*Con at that point, which means we saw many young, scantily clad girls walking down the hallway looking for the Japanese hentai. The three of us observed all of this activity and essentially became three grouchy old adults muttering amongst ourselves about how the kids should git off our lawn and put some clothes on. It was great. I don't think I'll ever leave this particular track because I feel so free to be my conservative self while I'm working it.

I'm kind of babbling at this point, so let me finish by saying that staffers work hard (without pay) and make many sacrifices so that 30,000-plus fans can enjoy a great four-day show. If you go to D*C, be sure to thank the folks wearing the staff lanyards; without people like us, the con would not exist.

Dragon*Con Highlights, Part Two - A Few Quotes Heard 'Round the Con

"The women seem to be especially impressed with the size of your sword."
- Said to Joe Crowe @ the Villains Hall of Fame

"I think my next covers will just feature breasts with explosions coming out of them."
- Cover Artist Larry Dixon @ Baen's Traveling Road Show & Prize Patrol (This is especially funny if you're familiar with Baen cover designs. Let's just say that explosions and very shapely women are common motifs. LOL.)

"There will be no glowing balls tonight."
- A snippet of conversation I heard in the Hyatt stairwell. (You have to wonder what they were talking about.)

"There's a crease at this page! How often do you read ["Shall We Indulge In Rishathra?"]?
"And there are margin notes too!"
"There are not margin notes. You guys stop that."
- Er, this was actually me and another participant teasing Van Plexico at our Larry Niven panel. :)

That's all for tonight, as today was a very long day.

Dragon*Con Highlights, Part One

I won't be writing anything super lengthy in these update posts; I'll just be jotting down some things that stand out as funny and/or interesting.

The Physics of Your Magic:
(Sci-Fi/Fantasy Lit Track)

John Ringo admitted he once cured a case of writer's block by pulling out his dice and his Dungeon Master's Guide and turning to the random tables. He also made a map for the March Upcountry series by jiggling around a map of Earth in the Cretaceous period. LOL! He certainly has no pretensions of being the next J.R.R. Tolkien.

The Military in SF: A Crutch, or Good Planning?
(American Sci-Fi/Fantasy Media Track)

I spoke on this one. I pointed out that the first science fiction shows and movies to hit the mainstream consciousness - the shows and movies that established many of the tropes for American sci-fi media - were originally conceived at or near the beginning of the age of space exploration, a time when most - if not all - of the astronauts were drawn from the military. Another panelist expanded on this by adding that the military was also at the vanguard of exploratory endeavors during the Age of Sail. I further observed that many of the shows under discussion involved interaction with clearly hostile alien forces, making the heavy military presence a necessity, not a crutch. My favorite audience comment: "When the other guy wants to eat you, there is no common ground."

One panelist tried to use this panel as a soapbox to air out his pacifist views, but two of us were former military and three others - myself included - were military brats, so we didn't let him get away with it.

After the panel, a member of the audience approached me and asked me which show, in my opinion, does the best job portraying the military realistically. I mentioned Heroes, the two-part episode of SG1 that may in fact be our most favorite episode of Stargate EVER here at Right Fans, and naturally, I couldn't stop myself from tearing up when I started talking about THE scene. (SABR Matt, I'm sure, knows which scene I mean.) Everyone thought I was cute.

Stump the Geeks:
(American Sci-Fi Classics)

Joe Crowe of Revolution SF headed up this game. He asked various members of the audience to identify sci-fi movie quotes and answer other trivia questions and handed out prizes for correct answers. What makes this event a hoot is what Joe does to the losers. Last year, he brought a bottle of Incredible Hulk Cologne (yes, there really is such a thing), and sprayed all the losers with it. This year, he used Goofy Cologne (yes, apparently this also exists, and I can confirm from personal experience that it smells like wet dog). People, for obvious reasons, were afraid of Joe's Goofy Cologne. One audience member actually started scrambling over the chairs to get away from it, which was hilarious. Also hilarious was the moment when Joe accidentally sprayed himself. "It burns!" he exclaimed, to which an audience member responded, "If it burns, pee on it!" I laughed so hard during this game that my face was hurting by the end.

And thus endeth my Friday round of highlights. Stay tuned!

To Dragon*Con Or Bust!

And with the summer coming to a close, it is now time to announce our official Dragon*Con Hiatus.

Depending on her availability, Stephanie S. may post an update or two from the con itself, but starting tomorrow, all regular reviews will be put on hold until September 8, 2010, at which time we will post a review of Serenity (the movie) to finish off the Firefly canon.

See you on the flip side!