"So, you handing out cigars?"
"Very funny."
"'The stork came early to a downtown elevator yesterday afternoon in the person of stockbroker Chuck Fishman…'"
"All right, that's enough."
"'...who came to the aid of an expectant mother and delivered twins.'"
"So where would this elevator be?"
"It doesn't say. Somewhere in Chicago."
"Does it say who?"
"'Name withheld by request.'"
"It's not fair. I don't know what I did to deserve this."
The episode opens in a lawyer's office - Marcia and Gary are finalizing their divorce. Marcia seems breezy about the matter, but afterward, Gary retreats to McGinty's, depressed. Chuck tries to convince Gary of the joys of the single life, but Gary is not convinced, especially not when Chuck catches sight of a former one-night-stand, Amy Handelman, and promptly flees from the bar. Chuck tags along with Gary as he takes care of a series of minor stories in the paper and once again urges him not to put aside his social life; Gary, however, is in no mood to socialize.
The following morning, Gary is still brooding. He shares with Marissa his dreams for his future children as he scans the paper - then stops and smiles, suddenly amused. At McGinty's, he shows what he found to Chuck: a story reporting that Chuck will deliver a baby on the El. Chuck freaks out. He admits to Gary and Marissa that he had a bad experience in seventh grade biology and since then has been incredibly squeamish.
Determined to avoid his future, Chuck looks up the mother in the phone book and goes to her home, Gary in tow. As Chuck attempts to come up with something plausible to convince the expectant mother, Ann Kellogg, to avoid the El, Gary's attention is suddenly diverted by a mysterious beautiful woman - a woman he saw at McGinty's the previous night. Gary leaves Chuck on his own and follows the woman, eventually ending up on the street where, according to the paper, an elderly woman is supposed to be hit by a fire truck. He saves the pedestrian, getting beaned for his troubles and losing the mysterious woman in the process.
Though Chuck gets slapped for his presumption, he does successfully convince Ann Kellogg to take a cab. This, however, does not lead to the desired result; in fact, now the headline in the paper reports that Chuck will deliver twins in an elevator! While Gary goes to prevent a water main breach, Chuck decides hiding is his best strategy. On his way home, however, he sees pregnant women wherever he turns and flips out, ducking into the nearest office building. Against his better judgment, he goes upstairs to wait the day out in Amy Handelman's office, but when Amy starts to come on to him, he is forced to flee again, this time to his own building.
In the meantime, Gary is once again distracted by the mysterious blond woman and fails to stop the water main disaster. He goes home sopping wet to find Marcia waiting in his apartment. It seems Marcia has had some second thoughts; she asks Gary to dinner, and Gary gives her a noncommittal answer. Marissa rolls her eyes when she hears of this later, but Gary is reluctant to write his ex off. He is confused and distracted and generally not having a good day - and the day is made worse when he looks at the paper and discovers that the workmen down at the water main leak are about to black out half the city. He goes to try to convince the workmen to turn their pump off, which they do - but then a supervisor turns it back on. Sparks fly, and we see all the traffic lights blink out.
At Chuck's building, Chuck discovers that the staircase is locked, and he is forced to board the elevator. After several passengers get off on the fifteenth floor, only Chuck and a very pregnant woman, Sheila, remain. Just then, the blackout hits and the elevator grinds to a halt. Chuck panics - especially when, just as foretold, Sheila goes into labor. Marissa finds out about Chuck's predicament and alerts Gary, who arrives at Chuck's building and tries to talk Chuck through the process via the emergency phone. When Sheila's water breaks, however, Chuck faints, and Gary is forced to go up the stairs and jump down inside the elevator to bail Chuck out. Gary delivers Sheila's twins, then puts them into a revived Chuck's arms and climbs out of the elevator, thereby fulfilling the paper's headline.
As Chuck enjoys his moment in the sun, Gary tries to find the mysterious woman at a fountain in the city, but he just misses her - again.
Overall: 7.7 - Funny, but a little disjointed.
Writing: 7.5
Chuck is my co-author's favorite character, and in this episode, it is easy to see why. Chuck's not all together bright - and he certainly talks a big game - but here, his exaggerated fear of bodily fluids comes across as charmingly vulnerable - and his determination to avoid the call of heroism, very human. Chuck is us; after all, how many times have we run from God because His urgings seemed unpleasant or inconvenient?
Though this is not the greatest of Early Edition's comedies, it is still enormously entertaining. Many classic laugh-out-loud moments can be found here, such as Gary's telling Marissa that he's going to name his first born Zeke regardless of gender - or Chuck's telling Sheila to count backwards to "reverse the process" of her labor and then swooning at the sight of her amniotic fluid. Meanwhile, Sheila herself is a very funny one-shot character; the snark she brings is fantastic.
However, this episode does feel a little cobbled together. It takes nearly a full act to get to the meat of the plot, and Marcia's change of heart in particular seems to come from out of the blue. Overall, the writers don't do a very good job explaining Marcia's motivations. There's also the introduction of Gary's mysterious blond woman, a thread which, if I recall correctly, doesn't really have a strong pay-off. She does appear in the second season finale to help Marissa read the paper, thereby saving Gary, Chuck and Crumb from an untimely death, but other than that, I remember nothing. It's possible she's meant to be an angel, but in retrospect, her appearance feels like the start of a plot the writers ultimately dropped by accident.
Acting: 8.5
Fisher is his usual comic self - he is certainly capable of holding up his plot. But I can't help but congratulate Kyle - one can never heap too much praise on Kyle, in my opinion - for his performance at the birth of Sheila's twins because there is absolutely nothing fake in Gary's relieved, joyous laughter. In that moment, you really believe that Gary is meant to be a father, and it is profoundly touching.
Message: 7
This one is rather light on the message front. I do, however, appreciate the way in which Gary embodies traditional family values here - particularly in his dubious outlook on the modern dating scene. The single life popular culture promotes, with its Darwinism, commitment-free hookups, cruelty, and lack of trust, is just no way to find lasting, fulfilling love with another person. It's nice to see a lead character on a television show who instinctively understands this fact.
The Benevolent Hand:
Fulton J. Sheen once explained that a sense of humor is the ability to see through the surface to the depths beneath. Even a simple pun depends on your ability to read multiple meanings in a single word. He further observed that God Himself has the greatest sense of humor of all, because He can see through everything. To God, a mustard seed is not simply a mustard seed, but a symbol of faith.
In this episode, God's sense of humor is on full display. In essence, He sees through Chuck - understands the good heart beneath - and pushes him, gently yet relentlessly, to shoot for something greater. Chuck doesn't quite live up to the call in this round, but that's okay - as we'll see, God certainly isn't finished with him yet.
Highlights:
Credit to Earlydues for the transcript segments!
(After Chuck hurries Gary out the door of McGinty's to avoid Amy Handelman...)
GARY: So that's what I have to look forward to? You call that the thrill of the hunt?
CHUCK: Hey, sometimes you gotta take what you can get.
GARY: Oh, that's a motto to live by.
CHUCK: But not you. You're going to make out like gangbusters. You're a good lookin' kid. You know? You're one of those "aw, shucks" kind of guys that girls really go for. You got nothing to worry about. Of course, you live in a dump, but you get tomorrow's newspaper, which, I may add, is one hell of an icebreaker.
GARY: Uh-huh.
CHUCK: Hey you got to use what you got, buddy. I mean, it's a jungle out there. Dating game Darwinism. Only the strong survive. You're going to do good at this, trust me.
GARY: I was good at being married.
CHUCK: Which explains why you're here with me tonight. (Ouch! Gary gives Chuck a Look.) Sorry. Forget about her. What have you got to lose?
GARY: What do you mean what have I got to lose? A family, a home, kids. You know I want kids.
CHUCK: Why?
GARY: What do you mean, why? - OM NOM NOM! Gary's skepticism about the dating game is ridiculously attractive - as is his desire for a family life.
GARY: The only reason anyone would ever call me a hero is because I get this paper. Here. (He gives milk to Cat.)
MARISSA: Maybe you get that paper *because* you're a hero.
GARY: Don't tell me about "hero". I couldn't even save my own marriage.
(There is a pause in the conversation as Gary sits down to read the paper.)
GARY: Zeke.
MARISSA: What?
GARY: That's what I was going to name him.
MARISSA: Who?
GARY: My son - the first one, anyway.
MARISSA: Well, what if it was a girl?
GARY: Zeke.
MARISSA: Oh, well, that makes it easy.
GARY: He was going to play hockey, you know.
MARISSA: Zeke?
GARY: Yes.
MARISSA: The boy or the girl?
GARY: It doesn't matter. - LOL! Can't say I'm all that impressed with Gary's taste in baby names, but his dreams of fatherhood are cute regardless.
(After Chuck learns that he is to deliver Ann Kellogg's baby on the El...)
CHUCK: I'm not doing it.
GARY: What's wrong, Chuck? You're going to be a hero.
CHUCK: Oh, groovy. Swell. But guess what? Chuck ain't doing it.
MARISSA: Why? The paper says it turned out fine.
CHUCK: What is this, some kind of joke? What's today, April Fools'?
GARY: No
CHUCK: Nixon's birthday? Oh, I know. This is to get back at me for that time I short-sheeted your bed in college. Is that it?
GARY: Oh, no, no.
CHUCK: Oh, I know. It's for when I poured warm water on your wrist and you peed your pants.
GARY: Chuck, I don't, I don't think you have a choice.
CHUCK: Sure I do, and here it is: No. There. Selection made. (To Marissa.) And you're in the men's room, young lady. (He leaves.)
MARISSA: Call me crazy, but that man has a problem with the miracle of childbirth.
(They follow Chuck.)
GARY: Hey, Chuck, don't you think you're overreacting here a little bit?
CHUCK: Yeah? How's that?
GARY: How's that? It says in the paper the mother and baby are going to be fine.
CHUCK: Oh, sure - them.
GARY: So, what's the problem?
CHUCK: What's the problem? I'll tell you the problem. The problem is… fluids.
GARY: Fluids?
CHUCK: Yeah. You know, like… blood and stuff.
MARISSA: Stuff?
CHUCK: Yeah. Like... childbirth stuff. Look, I've never told this to anyone before, but in the seventh grade in biology class, you know, when you have to dissect the frog? Well I opened mine up, and there was this… stuff in it.
GARY: Really?
CHUCK: Weird stuff.
MARISSA: Chuck, delivering a baby is not the same as dissecting a frog.
CHUCK: Close enough! - ROTFL!
(At McGinty's after the blackout...)
GARY: Did you ever have a bad day, Mike? (He slumps forward.)
MIKE: (referencing the blackout) What do you call this?
GARY: No, I mean, one of those bad days - a really bad day - where everything goes wrong.
MIKE: You mean, like the day I got married? First of all, it rained buckets, then the hors d'oeuvres turned brown, then the mother-in-law breaks her tooth on the wedding cake. I should have known right then.
GARY: Yeah. Maybe it would all be worth it if there was someone to come home to, huh? Someone who cares about you. - Aww. Gary needs a hug!
(After Sheila goes into labor...)
CHUCK: What are you doing now?
SHEILA: (breathing through her contractions) 1…2…3. I'm having contractions. I hope you're proud of yourself. 1... 2... 3..., 1... 2... 3...
CHUCK: Oh, my God. Try counting backwards. Maybe it'll reverse the process! - ROTFL! I'm afraid it doesn't work that way, Chuck.
GARY (on phone): Chuck, you there?
CHUCK: Gar? Gar, is that you? Gar, you go to help me. Someone's in a lot of trouble.
GARY: All right, now listen, what's her name?
CHUCK: Not her, me.
SHEILA: Come here. Come. Here. 1…2…
CHUCK: (to Gary) Hang on.
SHEILA: Closer. (Chuck inches closer.) 1… 2... 3... Bottom line - if you make this any more difficult, when this is over... (She grabs Chuck by his tie.) ...I will hunt. You. Down. Is that clear? (She gasps.)
CHUCK: (picking up the phone again) It's getting serious, pal.
GARY: All right now listen. Keep your head. You can do this.
CHUCK: No I can't
GARY: Yes, you can.
CHUCK: No, I can't.
GARY: Yes you can. You've got to. Listen, you're the only one there is. You. You're it. You're the guy in the elevator. Sometimes that's all the hero is, Chuck. It's the guy who's there. - Indeed.
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