Overall Rating: 7.0
An entirely derivative plot idea executed in spiffy Buffy style
Plot Synopsis:
The episode begins with Buffy making a fool of herself in science class. She has once again not done her homework and her well-intentioned teacher calls her up after the bell rings to have a little pep talk. He likes her - says she's smart and can think on her feet. If only she would apply herself she'd go far and he expects nothing less. Buffy is moved by his words of praise and promises to redouble her efforts. Unfortunately, because Dr. Gregory is a nice guy who Buffy likes and is living in Sunnydale, he is doomed to be eaten by some horrible creature, and shortly after her departure, he becomes a tasty snack for something large and scaly. Buffy meanwhile encounters Angel at the Bronze, who warns her (needlessly cryptically) of a dangerous vampire wielding a large fork for a hand who's coming after her.
The next day, Dr. Gregory's disappearance has Buffy concerned but Xander is rather enamored with his replacement...a substitute calling herself Natalie French and packing a luscious set of double-Ds and a sultry whiff of sexy pheromones. They learn about the praying mantis in class (a little on the nose, writers...shame on you!) and Ms. French invites both Xander and one of his rivals (Blayne) to work with her on a science fair project after hours. When Dr. Gregory's headless body turns up in the cafeteria walk-in fridge (you know, I wonder if Cordelia ever gets tired of being the one to discover dead guys in lockers and other closed areas), Buffy goes over Giles' head and hunts for the fork-wielding vamp - but when she tracks him down, a much more interesting story emerges. He catches one glimpse of Ms. French and bolts like an elephant fleeing a mouse. Buffy is intrigued. She reports her findings to an annoyed Giles, who begins an investigation, but Buffy already has a theory. She's a giant praying mantis! While Giles seeks confirmation, Buffy and Willow hack the school's computer system looking for info on Ms. French. THe urgency goes up another few notches when they learn that Blayne never returned home after working with Ms. French the previous night and that Xander has promised to work with her tonight.
Buffy - having "done her homework" - races off to the address they found in the computer for Ms. French wielding large weapons and a tape recording of bat sonar (which makes a mantis' nervous system go haywire) but an elderly woman answers the door. It's the real Ms. French - a 90 year old retiree. She says she doesn't have time to start randomly knocking on doors in their search, but she somehow does have time to dive into the sewer system and find fork-guy...subdue him, drag him back up to the surface and use him as radar to detect the mantis before dusting him.
Xander, having been drugged by his supposed conquest, wakes to find himself in a cage along with Blayne. Blayne reports (in horror) that the creature will lay her eggs beside him, mate, and then eat him head first...Xander was cool with it right up until the eating head first part. :) Just as she's about to begin the mating dance, Buffy crashes in to save the day and declares that the mantis can't handle what she's brought, but plays a recording of Giles doing dictation (LOL). While she fumbles around with the tape, she fights off the creature's attacks until she finally gets the right sound affect to freeze it so she can chop it into pieces. In an amusing little twist, this creature targets virgins, as Giles discovers from his completely insane former friend in London, so Xander (and Blayne, who has spent the entire episode bragging about his many conquests) are outed. Willow thinks it's adorable, but Xander has a very large desire to crawl into a hole and hide.
Writing: 6.0
OK, so the plot has been done a zillion times in sci-fi and horror. Big scary bug! And unfortunately, the show's portrayal of the big scary bug was done on a rather tight budget so it looks...um...ridiculous. But still, the show is entertaining and hardly worthy of scorn. :) It does defy credibility that even a demon would possess the power to divert every single virgin she meets into her lair within a few days of first encountering them. I know it's popularly accepted that all guys are sex-crazed walking penises being led around by pheromones...but...c'mon now. The dialogue doesn't crackle quite like is has in the previous two story lines, so I can't get too positive with this review, but it's at least par.
Acting: 7.5
On the other hand, Brendan Harris in particular did an outstanding job with the role of sex-crazed teenager...probably not too much of a stretch for him. :) And of course, Xander is the most susceptible of the regular cast to this kind of pursuit...it's no wonder he has more than his fair share of run-ins with demons in the pursuit of love! No one else really stood out this time around, so the positive review is muted. And I still hate David Boreanez. Sorry...I just don't get it.
Message: 7.5
Shout out to this Hollywood ensemble for making it OK (even attractive to the hottest girl in the cast!) to be a virgin. Secondary positive cheer for Buffy's interaction with Dr. Gregory. It gives this episode a little something sweet that an otherwise derivative script would be a little empty without. And it goes straight to the heart of one of my axes to grind with today's education system. It seems like teachers everywhere are in a race for who can lower their standards the fastest to keep grades looking OK. The right answer...the thing kids really need to get the most out of their abilities...is to challenge them. And to show them that you believe in their power to get better at learning and understanding. Bravo, Dr. Gregory! It's too bad you had to get eaten by a giant praying mantis.
Highlights:
DR. GREGORY: Buffy, could I have a word?
BUFFY: Sure...
DR. GREGORY: I heard you had quite a history at your old school.
BUFFY: Well hey, what girl my age hasn't...
DR. GREGORY: ...gotten into fights, cut classes, burned down a gym? Principal Flutie showed me your permanent record.
BUFFY: OK, but look, there were major extenuating circumstances for that fire...
DR. GREGORY: I can't wait to see what you're gonna do here.
BUFFY: Yeah...(looking dejected)...that's me...danger girl.
DR. GREGORY: You're a smart kid and you can think on your feet. I like that. Just imagine what you could do if you actually applied yourself.
BUFFY: By doing the whole...homework thing.
DR. GREGORY: The whole homework thing. Look...you can do some amazing things if you put your mind to it, and I expect nothing less. Got that?
BUFFY: (she seems shocked that he's actually taking an interest) Yeah...
DR. GREGORY: I'm sure you have good reasons you're not doing the work, and frankly, I don't care to hear them.
BUFFY: Right...I promise, I'll try harder.
DR. GREGORY: Good. Oh, and Buffy...please don't listen to what the principal or anyone else says and let them make you think you're a trouble-maker.
BUFFY: (deeply moved) I won't...thanks...(she turns to leave)
DR. GREGORY: Chapters six through eight, OK?
BUFFY: Chapters six through eight. (we need to see more stuff like this on TV..preferably not ending with the good guy getting eaten!)
GILES: That's all he said? Fork guy?
BUFFY: That's all cryptic guy said...big fork guy.
GILES: I think there are too many "guys" in your life.
NATALIE: I'm new here...I'm looking for science - room 109?
XANDER: Uuuhhhh...(I think I saw some drool here...LOL)
NATALIE: Can you help me?
XANDER: Uhhmm...uh...yes. Yes I can...it's right...(has completely forgotten what the world outside of this hot teacher looks like and the blood is rushing to the wrong brain)...uh...I go there all the time...(Natalie laughs...Blayne arrives confidently)
BLAYNE: Room 1009? I'm headed there right now...I'll show you the way. (He escorts her off and is heard one last time) Hi, I'm Blayne...
XANDER: It's funny how the world never opens up and swallows you whole when you want it to. (LOL)
CORDELIA: I haven't been able to eat since it happened. I think I lost like seven ounces...which is way faster than that stupid Long Beach diet! Oh, not that I'm saying we should kill a teacher every day just so I can lose weight. But when you're faced with tragedy, you have to look at the bright side! Like how used Mercedes still have leather seats! (wow...)
NATALIE: I'm sorry...should I change into something else?
XANDER: No! No, no! It's the beautiful chest...er...dress...I've ever seen!
WILLOW: It's totally unfair that she just went after virgins.
XANDER: Uh...what?
BLAYNE: Hey, I am NOT!
WILLOW: It's OK, guys. In fact I think it's great! You're doing the right thing...the smart thing! Most guys your age would be...
BLAYNE: OK look, if you tell anyone about this, you'll have to deal with me!
WILLOW: (Xander looks really REALLY embarrassed after Blayne walks out in a huff) What? It's not like it's that big a deal...certainly nothing I'll bring up again! (aww...LOL)
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