Overall Rating: 4.0
OK, so it's not the greatest plot concept in the world, nor is the acting spectacular, nor is there really a message delivered here apart from a nice reaffirmation of one mature relationship. But it's not altogether a horrid episode. There are several chuckle-worthy exchanges noted in the highlights.
Plot Synopsis:
It's the day of the Bajoran Gratitude Festival and Kira is charged with presiding over the ceremonies. O'Brian, meanwhile, awaits the arrival of his wife Keiko - who has been away on a botany expedition on Bajor for the last two months (that's 75 games of racquetball for he and Dr. Bashir - no doubt raising the specter of tennis elbow). Needless to say, he's hard up and looking forward to a roll in the hay with the missus. :) Unfortunately, when she arrives, she's miserable. Her trip was a disaster, owing largely to the presence of Lwaxana Troi (and all the candy she foolishly fed to Molly). They fight over what to do with their couple of days before she returns to Bajor and it eventually comes out that Keiko may be gone a lot longer than she originally planned, sparking a major conflict between the battling O'Briens.
Meanwhile, first Jake Sisko (Kira), then Bariel (Dax), then Dax (Sisko), then Kira and Bashir (each other) and finally Quark (Keiko...ew)...randomly fall madly in love with someone new during the festival. Their behavior becomes more and more extreme as the festival wears on, and only after Sisko observes the initial stages of attraction does the DS9 crew put the pieces together and realize that Troi is to blame. It seems she has a virus that causes her to project her emotions onto innocent bystanders (causing them to act out similar latent attractions to those she has been feeling for a horrified Constable Odo).
O'Brien and Keiko's fight ends when Miles makes a full apology for his trenchant remarks and promises that he is willing to do whatever it takes to make their marriage work, even if he has to give up his posting at DS9 and move to Bajor. She tells him to get his resignation back before Sisko sees it. She wants him to be happy too, and they agree they'll just have to wait out this survey of hers. Neither of the O'Briens were ever affected by Troi's psychic outbursts - there's nothing latent about their attraction for each other!
Writing: 2.0
For a show with some decent material in the highlight reel, this one has some major problems. The dialogue is deeply uneven. There are nice moments, and extremely juvenile, corny ones that make the viewer burst out laughing, but not in a good way. The show is one gigantic character assassination after another as well. One ridiculous action after another, from Bariel getting into a FIST FIGHT! with Sisko and Dax to Bashir and Kira diving into each other's arms for some very public heavy petting to Quark pursuing Keiko O'Brien (just for the shock value, I'm quite sure) and not Kira or Dax, both of whom he's canonically shown attraction to in the past. The attractions often don't make any damned sense for the characters involved. What's worse...even if Troi could really project her amorous feelings for Odo onto other people, thus activating latent attractions, why would all of those people necessarily ACT OUT their attractions? Unless the writer means to argue that Troi's outgoing and very public personality are directly caused by strong emotions - emotions so strong that they can overwhelm the common sense and normal personalities of every individual she encounters. I'm all for lighthearted crack TV...but it should make sense and the characters should...stay in character! This script shows no feel for the characters we've come to know and love and no particular writing skill was required to create it.
Acting: 4.0
Apart from Renee Auberjonois and Avery Brooks (who, granted, were never asked to play an attraction that didn't make any damned sense), I thought the acting in this episode was globally very weak. Even Colm Meaney, who I usually adore as an actor, didn't really hit the high notes very well in his scenes with Keiko. I didn't think he came across as sympathetic enough in his fights with Keiko. He has a legitimate (and very goodhearted) reason to be upset that Keiko wants to stay on Bajor for 3 extra months. But he just sounded like a jack-ass here...which is unfortunate, because it simplifies the fight dynamic and takes away some of its potential impact.
Message: 6.0
It's a light episode in terms of real messages, but I do enjoy that DS9 has once again taken time out of its busy production schedule to hammer home the point that real relationships take a lot of work by both people involved to function properly. The O'Briens are one of about five different relationships that get screen time in DS9 canon history that I enjoy for similar reasons (Kira and Odo, Martok and Cyrella, Sisko and Kassidy Yates, the O'Briens and Dax and Worf...all very grown up and intelligently written relationships, if you ask me...even though at least a couple of those are dysfunctional in one way or another at some point in their life cycle). This episode showcases the proper way to make an apology in a relationship (and no, this is not just a lesson for the men, no matter what my father would have me believe...women need to learn to apologize too). You should not apologize if you don't have some real reason to do so (people can always tell when you're apologizing just to avoid a fight and that makes them angrier...trust me), and when you do apologize...it needs to be naked...no self-defense, no excuses, just real emotion.
Highlights:
ODO: Well...I can hardly believe the Promenade is this empty at midday.
KIRA: Ah...calm before the storm. In a few hours, this place will be packed with Bajorans celebrating the festival.
ODO: Actually, I...was thinking of joining you this year.
KIRA: Really?!
ODO: Why not? None of my Bajoran deputies work during the Gratitude Festival. Why should I? Besides...if I'm going to live among you humanoids...I might as well immerse myself in your rituals.
KIRA: Well then we'll see each other later?
ODO: I'd like that very much.
KIRA: Good...just look for me later. I'll be with Bariel.
ODO: (heart sinks visibly) Oh...Bariel...I though he was going to be celebrating on Bajor.
KIRA: Well that's what I thought too - I'm glad I was wrong! He's due to arrive on the next Bajoran transport.
ODO: Well then you'd better run along - it's due to arrive soon. (Odo thinks: "...and I have to go kill myself now"...poor Odo. :( )
MILES: We'd better get ready to go to the festival - the babysitter will be here in a minute.
KEIKO: Oh, the festival (sounding exhausted), I completely forgot.
MILES: On the other hand...we could spend the rest of the day locked away in our quarters...(giggity!)
KEIKO: Miles, what I really want to do is sleep!
MILES: (sounding annoyed) Well then maybe you should.
KEIKO: Miles! I didn't say I was going to...I just meant I could use some.
MILES: Look, stay or go, sleep or don't - it's all the same to me! Just tell me what you want to do and we'll do it!
KEIKO: I have been making decisions all day! You decide!
MILES: Fine. We'll go to the festival. Well...but...we don't have to go right away. You can take some time to relax and change into something nice!
KEIKO: Something nice?
MILES: Yeah...like your red dress (practically drooling).
KEIKO: The red dress? Really?
MILES: Is there something wrong with your red dress?
KEIKO: No...it's just...a little tight is all.
MILES: I know. That's why I like it. (hee)
KEIKO: Alright, if it'll make you happy, I'll wear the red dress. (look at them trying so hard to compromise that they keep making it worse...LOL)
TROI: (grabbing a deeply unwilling Odo by the hands and swinging his arms about rather stiffly) I love Bajoran music! It's so intelligent - so vital! It reminds me of you. Dance with me, Odo!
ODO: Uh...I'm sorry...I...don't dance. (she tucks him in against her chest and he stiffens up even more...he looks like he has rigor mortise - LOL!)
TROI: Oh don't be silly. I saw you moving with the music.
ODO: That wasn't dancing...that was swaying.
TROI: Then sway with me, Odo! (*snerk*)
KEIKO: That's actually a problem I've been meaning to talk to you about. You see...the terrain is much worse than we expected and it's causing it to get way behind on our schedule. The survey might take a while longer than we thought.
MILES: Well, how much longer?
KEIKO: I'm not sure.
MILES: Care to try a guess? A couple of extra days? A week? Two?
KEIKO: More like two or three more months.
MILES: Are you telling me you're going to be on Bajor for another seven months?
KEIKO: It's either that or ask them to find another botanist.
MILES: Well maybe that's something we should consider!
KEIKO: Are you asking me to resign?!
MILES: Well, no! But..seven more months!
KEIKO: Miles, I don't like this any more than you do.
MILES: You just said you were having a wonderful time!
KEIKO: Oh, I'm sorry! I suppose you would be happier if I were miserable? (here's a tip, Miles...play dead...it'll be over faster, because at this point you're hosed, buddy. LOL)
MILES: Keiko, honey? It's me - can I come in?
KEIKO: Not now, Miles.
MILES: You're right. I'm an idiot sometimes. If I don't get my own way, I can be pretty selfish and pig-headed and childish. I said some pretty stupid things to you back there. I wish I could take them back. But even if it's too late for that, I just wanted to tell you...I love you and I always will. I want you to know I've left a letter of resignation on Sisko's desk. I'm ready to move down to Bajor with you if you'll have me. And after that, if you want to move back to Earth, that's OK too! I'll do whatever it takes. I just don't want to lose you. (waits for a moment) Honey? Did you hear what I said?
KEIKO: Yes.
MILES: And?
KEIKO: And I need time to think. Why don't you go to Commander Sisko's party. We can talk when you get back.
MILES: (disappointed, and quite sad looking) If that's what you want. (two reasons to enjoy this little scene - one, Miles makes a proper apology - as in...no equivocations, no self-justifications, just remorse and honest emotion - and two - Keiko doesn't do the Hollywood 'ta da! Everything is better instantly!!' thing...she's still pissed off...LOL)
TROI: Zanthee fever! Well that's impossible! That only affects older Betazoids!
BASHIR: Well be that as it may, I have your test results right here.
SISKO: What are we dealing with, Doctor.
BASHIR: It's a virus that affects the telepathic control of...mature...Betazoids. (hee)
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