Pardon the Interruption: The Mystery Diagnosis Bingo Card

More than likely, our normally scheduled Babylon 5 review will be up tomorrow night, as I have student research papers to edit. In the meantime, enjoy our gentle mockery of the formula of one of our favorite medical reality shows!


*****

Presenting... the Mystery Diagnosis Bingo Game! 

The rules are very simple:

• Watch an episode of Mystery Diagnosis.
• Every time something on the card happens in the episode, mark the space.
• If you get five in a row (horizontally, vertically, or diagonally), you win! (You can also try to get other shapes if you're feeling creative.)

This is a great game that can be enjoyed by the whole family. Just whip out a randomizer and make up multiple cards with different arrangements. 

Admittedly, the text is a little hard to read in the above image, so I've also typed it out after the jump.



B, Top to Bottom

• A new and more terrifying symptom emerged. (The narrator says this all the time!)
• You know we're getting close to the answer when you hear a doctor's name.
• Electrical sounds are used to signify pain.
• An embarrassing symptom description is accompanied by a chaotic brass noise.
• Another condition is blamed for unrelated symptoms.

I, Top to Bottom

• The results were nothing short of shocking. (Another line that's almost always in the narration!)
• The answer is an autoimmune disease. (They are damnably difficult to diagnose, apparently.)
• Someone is rushed to the E.R.
• Opening symptoms are dismissed as the flu.
• A patient is told, "It's all in your head." (I'm surprised none of these patients have ever smacked their doctors.)

N, Top to Bottom

• There is an extreme close-up of someone's eyes.
• The answer is a genetic disease. (This is also a big category, it appears.)
• FREE SPACE
• An awkward transition sentence is used between cases. (EVERY EPISODE!)
• A test comes back negative.

G, Top to Bottom

• A primary care doc shows a lack of imagination. (This is rampant.)
• They couldn't help but wonder why no one diagnosed it sooner. (Another bit of narration that is repeatedly used.)
• Someone is horrified by what they see/experience.
• The patient gets the answer by talking to an MD from a prev. ep.
• A patient must travel out of his/her way to get answer.

O, Top to Bottom

• A doctor deserves to be sued for malpractice. (This happens more often than it should.)
• There's no cure, but it can be managed. (Another frequent bit of narration.)
• Be your own advocate. (A lot of the patients say this in the confessional.)
• The right answer is a common disease gone berserk.
• Diagnosis is met with relief despite being life threatening.