Overall: 7.5
I object to how Wash is written, but beyond that, this is a solid episode.
Plot Synopsis:
A decent overview can be found here. (Note: The opinions expressed in the summary linked do not necessarily reflect our own.)
The Skinny:
Personally, I feel like this script was written mostly to quell any fannish speculation regarding Mal and Zoe; unfortunately, in the service of this purpose, Cain wrote a Wash that is inconsistent with the Wash we've seen in previous episodes. The forced and completely unsexy moment between Mal and Zoe at the end is in fact the funniest scene in the episode - and I like how that scene firmly shoots down the ridiculous idea that having sex is a way to "get over" someone. But to get there, we're asked to believe that Wash has been secretly envious of Mal all along -- and I just haven't seen any signs of that up to this point.
Now to the other aspects of the episode: I'm not one of those fans who's instantly wowed by either girl-on-girl action or gruesome violence, so the fact that this episode contains both doesn't necessarily leave me impressed -- though I will say that the blink-and-you'll-miss-it scene between Inara and the councilor is nice and understated - and Jayne's reaction upon seeing Inara's new client is, well, perfectly and purely Jayne (heh). And as for Niska's reappearance? It's necessary - we would've gone crazy over that loose end if it hadn't been tied up - and, at points, genuinely frightening. It's also an important reminder that not all outlaws in this universe are as honorable and decent as Mal - lopped off ears, anyone? - and it gives us a chance to finally see River break out her scary ninja.
All in all, this is a decent episode. If Wash were recognizable, it would even be great.
Writing: 7.0
As discussed above, this script loses points for its characterization of Wash.
Acting: 8.5
The performances, however, are largely good, though the opening scene between Simon and Book feels a little flat.
Message: 7.0
There are, of course, more insinuations here that the government cannot be trusted. Also, as already noted, "get over him" sex is properly ridiculed. On the whole, though, this isn't an episode bristling with stand-out themes.
Highlights:
BOOK: Did you ever read the works of Shan Yu?
SIMON: Shan Yu, the psychotic dictator?
BOOK: Yep. Fancied himself quite the warrior-poet. Wrote volumes on war, torture... the limits of human endurance.
SIMON: That's nice.
BOOK: He said... "Live with a man forty years. Share his house, his meals, speak on every subject. Then tie him up and hold him over the volcano's edge, and on that day, you will finally meet the man."
SIMON: What if you don't live near a volcano?
BOOK: I expect he was being poetical.
SIMON: Sadistic crap legitimized by florid prose. (beat) Tell me you're not a fan.
BOOK: I'm just wondering if they were. The people who did this to your sister.
SIMON: The government did this to her.
BOOK: The government is a body of people, usually notably ungoverned. (Indeed.)
KAYLEE: Zoe, how come you always cut your apples?
WASH: (to Zoe) You do?
KAYLEE: Her and the Captain both. Whenever we get fresh fruit, they never just munch on 'em.
ZOE: Know what a Grizwald is?
JAYNE: (entering) It's a grenade.
ZOE: About the size of a battery. Responds to pressure. Our platoon was stuck in a trench outside of New Kasmir during the winter campaign. More'n a week, completely cut off, and the Alliance entrenched not ten yards away. We even got to talkin' to 'em, yelling across insults and jokes and such, 'cause no ammo to speak of, no orders, so what are you gonna do? We mentioned that we were out of rations, and ten minutes later, a bunch of apples rained into the trench.
WASH: (interrupting, to River and Kaylee) And they grew into a big tree, and they all climbed up the tree into a magical land with unicorns and a harp.
KAYLEE: (beat) Blew off their heads, huh?
ZOE: Cap said wait, but they were so hungry. (beat) Don't make much noise. Just little pops and there's three guys that kind of just end at the ribcage. (Yikes! More scary Alliance tech!)
RIVER: I threw up.
SIMON: I'm sorry. It's a side effect. We just have to find the right treatment for you. How do you feel now?
RIVER: Going... Going back like... apple bits, coming back up. Chaos.
SIMON: But you felt okay this morning?
RIVER: Played with Kaylee. (smiles) Sun came out, and I walked on my feet and heard with my ears. I ate the bits, the bits stayed down, and I work. I function like I'm a girl. (upset) I hate it because I know it'll go away. The sun goes dark and chaos has come again. Bits. Fluids. What am I?!
SIMON: (hugs her) You are my beautiful sister.
RIVER: (sniffling) I threw up on your bed.
SIMON: Yep. Definitely my sister. (LOL!)
JAYNE, multiple times this episode: I'll be in my bunk. (Heh. And another fannish in-joke is born.)
ZOE: It's five times what you paid us for the train job.
NISKA: Yes. You have had, you say it, good times... I see that.
ZOE: Should be more than enough to buy back my men.
NISKA: This is your opinion, is it?
ZOE: It is.
NISKA: They are perhaps damaged now. Are they worth so much to you?
ZOE: Yes.
NISKA: And to me, they are worth more. I think this is not enough. Not enough for two. But sufficient, perhaps for one. (beat, smiling) Ah... you now have --
ZOE: (quickly interrupting) Him. (She points to Wash.) I'm sorry. You were going to ask me to choose, right? Did you want to finish? (LOL! The villain's monologue is cut off before it can even begin.)
ZOE: Preacher, don't the Bible have some pretty specific things to say about killing?
BOOK: Quite specific. (beat) It is, however, somewhat fuzzier on the subject of kneecaps. (LOL! Of course, the Church has made it pretty clear that it is morally licit to kill if it is absolutely necessary to defend another, but -- let's not quibble.)
ZOE: Jayne. (She stops him from firing.) This is something the Captain has to do for himself.
MAL: (strangled) No! No, it's not!
ZOE: (oops) Oh. (At which point, all three of them take shots at Mal's torturer. Heh.)
MAL: So. I hear you all took up arms in that little piece of action back there. (to Simon) How you faring with that, doctor?
SIMON: I don't know. I, uh... I never-never shot anyone before.
BOOK: I was there, son. I'm fair sure you haven't shot anyone yet. (Hee!)
MAL: Did you tell her?
WASH: Tell her what?
MAL: (to Zoe) Your husband has demanded that we sleep together.
ZOE: Really?
WASH: What? Mal, come on.
MAL: He seems to think it would get all this "burning sexual tension" out in the open -- you know, make a fair fight for your womanly affections.
WASH: No! That was the torture talking! Remember? The torture?!
(Mal takes Zoe's hands and puts one on his hip and one on his shoulder. It's a very mechanical affair.)
MAL: (without a hint of sexual feeling) I know it's a difficult mission... but you and I... have to get it on.
ZOE: (equally without sexual feeling) I understand. We have no choice.
(Jayne enters just in time to hear:)
ZOE: (deadpan) Take me, sir. Take me hard.
JAYNE: Now somethin' about that is just downright unsettling. (ROTFL!)
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