The Xander vehicle for the AGES. For those of us who think Xander is the bestest character EVOR ( :D ), this one is a real kick. The comedy, the music, the presentation style, it's all good...and Xander kicks ass in spite of himself!
Plot Synopsis:
Xander, feeling particularly low after another round of attacks from a still-wounded Cordelia regarding his usefulness, takes a walk on the wild side as the rest of the Slayerettes battle another Hellmouth rising...a battle we barely see at all! While the world teeters on the brink of annihilation, Xander tags along with the cool kids...before realizing that they are, in fact, undead and on a very juvenile and very deadly spree of carnage. He tries to get himself out of harm's way a bunch of different times, only to wind up getting sucked into one horrifying encounter after another, culminating in his saving the school from getting blown up by a very typically evil teenaged canister bomb in the boiler room.
Describing the plot in blow by blow format does not do it justice...just trust me when I say that without breaking Xander's underdog image or his character, we see EXACTLY why Xander is so valuable to Buffy and the rest of the Slayerettes. His resourcefulness, big heart, and ability to function under pressure make him the ideal human companion in the fight against evil. By the end, Xander is able to brush off Cordelia's insistent teasing with a new-found confident calm, and only he (and the audience) knows why he's had a change of heart about himself.
The Skinny:
SABR Matt: There are several defining moments in the BtVS canon regarding Joss Whedon's take on ordinary heroism. It's a show about a superhero, but many of the most miraculous moments come from people who lack Buffy's gifts; in fact, a disproportionate number of those moments come from Xander. And in almost every case, that heroism comes from love. Love makes normal people into heroes. We love that message. That message is NOWHERE TO BE FOUND in this bit of comic gold. Instead, the message - hidden in the hysteria - is that it doesn't take super powers to make a difference. We like that message too. :)
Of course, the show is not primarily about the message. No, this is one of many of Joss's big homages, and we can appreciate a good homage too. In fact, when it's as well written as this one is, we have to stand back in awe of the creativity it must have taken to come up with this plot and to write such hilarious action for Xander. Nicholas Brendan doesn't miss an opportunity to shine, either. He hits every note PERFECTLY here...from his battles with Cordelia, to his final heroic bomb-stopping against ticking-clock pressure. You're going to read some of the highlights and wonder why I think they're this hilarious...I'm telling you the acting sells it.
Stephanie S: I don't think Xander is "the bestest character EVOR" - Giles is my man (as you all well know by now) - but I too find this episode very funny because, once again, the writer - Dan Vebber this time - shows that he understands his audience. What average teen hasn't wondered at least once what makes the popular kids "cool"? How many teens try their hardest to fit in and end up getting into trouble because of it? The "problem of cool" is a huge issue at that age, so yes - if you're writing a show for the young adult demographic, you will strike gold if you lampoon the adolescent quest for popularity and acceptance. And you will really endear yourself to your young audience if you allow an utterly normal, kind of wussy adolescent to defeat the big mean popular kids through cunning and emerge a more confident and grounded kid. By the end, Xander no longer makes the mistake of letting other people affect his sense of self-worth; if I were a teen, I would find that oddly inspiring.
Writing: 9.5 / 8.5
This might be crediting the writer for outstanding direction and camerawork, but the show works more because of fantastically funny physical comedy than because of fantastically funny dialogue. It's a comic book fan's dream come true (to see the average Joe step into the superhero role accidentally), and it's wonderfully fun to watch.
Stephanie S. Chimes In: I would grade the writing a little below the feature line. I think the humor in the episode largely comes from Nicholas Brendan's line delivery. Still, the concept is solid; as I remarked above, it is certainly well-tailored to the show's intended audience.
Acting: 9.0 / 9.5
Nicholas Brendan puts in a *10*...the bad guys with whom he's working are outstanding too...but I do have to reign in my enthusiasm a tad due to the brief appearances of...everyone else. Now, this might have been a director's choice too...to make the snippets of apocalypse we see seem over the top and ridiculous...but I think the hammy acting on the part of SMG and even Tony Head detracts from the humor a bit.
Stephanie S.: Regarding the overdone bits in the apocalypse plot, I'm going to go ahead and assume that they were "director's choices" - and I don't feel they detract from the humor in the Xander plot. Brendan is just too darn good.
Message: 9.0 / 9.0
We enjoy Xander's accidental win for a reason...most of us go through life hoping to hold serve against the world and luck into something good happening. Xander spends the entire episode terrified, desperately hoping to not die...and he comes out a hero. That's just awesome. When a character is likable enough, we'll be pulling for him even in a slapstick piece like this.
Stephanie S.: This episode is mainly goofy fun, but it does have a little to say about the perils of questing too obsessively after popularity. For a stealth message, that's not too shabby.
Highlights:
Buffy: Willow, you okay?
Willow: Yeah, I'm fine. Th-the shaking is-is a side effect of the fear.
Giles: Thank you.
Buffy: Well, if it wasn't for that clouding spell...
Willow: Yeah, it went good! Nothing melted like last time.
Xander: (getting up and staggering around the cave) I'm good. We're fine. Just a little bit dirty. Good show, everyone. Just great. I think we have a hit.
Willow: Are you okay?
Xander: Tip-top. Really. (A beat.) If anyone sees my spine laying around, just try not to step on it.
Buffy: Xander, one of these days, you're gonna get yourself hurt.
Faith: Or killed.
Buffy: Or both. A-and, you know, with the pain and the death, maybe you shouldn't be leaping into the fray like that. M-maybe you should be... fray-adjacent.
Xander: (insulted) Excuse me? Who, at a crucial moment, distracted the lead demon by allowing her to pummel him about the head?
Faith: Yeah. That was real manly how you shrieked and all.
Xander: I think you'll find that was more of a bellow.
Xander: Boy, I am *so* sorry. Doug's arm is kinda like spaghetti. We're all so very sad for him. (grins) Is your lunch okay?
Jack: (not amused) What are you, retarded?
Xander: No! No, I had to take that test when I was seven. A little slow in some stuff - mostly math and spatial relations - but certainly not challenged or anything.
Cordelia: Boy, of all the humiliations you've had I've witnessed, that was the latest.
Xander: I could've taken him.
Cordelia: Oh, please. O'Toole would macrame' your face. He is a psycho. Which is still a lot cooler than being a wuss.
Xander: Why is it that I've come face-to-face with vampires, demons, the most hideous creatures Hell ever spit out, and I'm still afraid of a little bully like Jack O'Toole?
Cordelia: Because, unlike all those creatures that you've come face-to-face with, Jack actually noticed you were there.
Xander: Why am I surprised by how comforting you're not?
Cordelia: It must be really hard when all your friends have, like, superpowers -- Slayer, werewolf, witches, vampires -- and you're, like, this little nothing. You must feel like Jimmy Olsen.
Xander: I was just talking to... (suddenly offended) Hey, mind your own business!
Cordelia: Ooo, I struck a nerve. The boy that had no cool.
Xander: I happen to be an integral part of that group. I happen to have a *lot* to offer.
Cordelia: Oh, please.
Xander: I do!
Cordelia: 'Integral part' of the group? Xander, you're the, the *useless* part of the group. You're the Zeppo. (Then she finishes with one last parting shot.) 'Cool.' Look it up. It's something that a sub-literate that's repeated twelfth grade three times has, and you don't. (Ouch.)
Xander: But... It's just that it's buggin' me, this 'cool' thing. I mean, what is it? How do you get it? Who doesn't have it? And who decides who doesn't have it? What is the essence of cool?
Oz: Not sure.
Xander: I mean, you yourself, Oz, are considered more or less cool. Why is that?
Oz: Am I?
Xander: Is it about the talking? You know, the way you tend to express yourself in short, noncommittal phrases?
Oz: Could be.
Xander: I know! You're in a band! That's like a business-class ticket to cool with complementary mojo after takeoff! I gotta learn an instrument. Is it hard to play guitar?
Oz: Not the way I play it.
Xander: Okay, but on the other hand: eighth grade. I'm taking the flügelhorn and gettin' *zero* trim. So the whole instrument thing could be a mislead. (thinks) But you need a thing, one thing nobody else has. What do I have?
Oz: An exciting new obsession. Which I feel makes you very special.
Willow: And if it opens?
Buffy: Do you remember the demon that almost got out the night I died?
Willow: Every nightmare I have that doesn't revolve around academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact, once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked.
Xander: You girls need a lift?
Buffy: What is this?
Xander: What do you mean, what is it? It's my thing.
Willow: Your thing?
Xander: My thing!
Buffy: Is this a penis metaphor?
Xander: Oh, gosh, Jack, man, are, are you okay? I am really sorry about that. But your car came out of nowhere.
Jack: I was parked.
Xander: Exactly. Look, I can cover the damages. I don't have insurance in the strictest sense of the word, but I have a little money. The important thing is that we're alright and we can work this out like two reasonable...
(Jack pulls out a very long hunting knife and holds it up.)
Xander: ...frontiersmen.
Jack: Where do you want it?
Xander: What?
Jack: Where do you want it?
Xander: I'm fairly certain I don't want it at all, but, uh, thank you.
Lysette: (bored and impatient) Wow. Cool knife.
Xander: Yeah. Great knife. Although I think, uh, it may technically be a, a sword.
Jack: She's called 'Katie'.
Xander: You gave it a girl's name. How very serial killer of you. (turns to Lysette) Listen, I think we should be going.
(Jack reaches around Xander with the knife and hooks it behind his ear, forcing Xander to look at him.)
Jack: (jeeringly) Are you scared?
Xander: (shakily) Would that make you happy?
Jack: (sneering) Your woman looking on, you can't stand up to me? Don't
you feel pathetic?
Xander: (nervously) Mostly I feel Katie.
Jack: You know what the difference between you and me is?
Xander: Again... Katie's springing to mind.
Jack: Fear. Who has the least fear.
Xander: And it has nothing to do with who has the big, sharp...
(Suddenly Jack slaps the knife into Xander's hand and steps back, taunting him to fight.)
Jack: Come on!
(Xander has no idea where to begin. The blonde distracts him.)
Lysette: I wanna go for a drive. I'm bored.
Xander: Oh, gee, I'm really sorry my life-and-death situation isn't *exciting* enough for you...
Police Officer: What's goin' on?
Jack: Nothing. Just rasslin'.
Police Officer: O'Toole. (chuckles) What a surprise. He attack you?
Xander: No. Just blowing off steam. Two guys rasslin'. But not in a gay way.
Xander: Giles, hey... What's goin' on?
Giles: Oh, uh, I was just trying to, uh, gain access to the, um, Spirit Guides. Not going very well, I'm afraid. Uh, what are you doing here?
Xander: Oh, we were just raising, um... (glances back at the others) some heck.
Jack: Xander! Let's go!
Xander: Listen, do you guys need any help?
Giles: Hmm? Oh, no. Thank you. Uh, probably best if you, you stay out of trouble.
Xander: No chance of that.
Jack: Xander! Motor!
Giles: There's something... different about this... menace, something in the air... The stench of death.
Xander: Yeah, I think it's Bob.
Jack: You stay here and keep the motor running.
Xander: Uh, this time of night, I'm pretty sure nothing's open.
(Bob grabs a newspaper vending machine, yanks it from the sidewalk and heaves it into the hardware store window.)
Xander: But they're always open for crime.
(The dead boys all climb into the store.)
Xander: Okay. Now I'm involved in crime. I'm the criminal element. (sarcastically) Having a car sure is cool!
Jack: Xander doesn't feel like he's part of the group.
Xander: No. It's just I'm kinda busy!
Bob: He doesn't feel like part of the group because he hasn't been initiated.
Jack: Do you think he's ready?
Parker: Oh, I think he's earned his stripes. I say we let him in, boys. Huh?
Dickie: Woo-hoo!
Xander: Great! I wanna be in the gang, sure!
Parker: Alright! Yeah!
Jack: That's the spirit.
Parker: Yeah.
Xander: What do I gotta do?
(Jack pulls out Katie and holds the blade to Xander's face.)
Jack: You gotta die.
(Oh, wait. That is not what Xander thought you meant!)
Xander: (nervously) Alright, guys, what... Let's just talk about this.
Parker: Aw, you wanna be part of the gang now, don't you?
Xander: Yes, yes, but I'm not *dying* to be in the gang, if you get the, um... the pun there.
Xander: You think Demon Mama followed us?
Faith: No, we're cool. The bitch dislocated my shoulder, though. Hold me.
(Xander hesitantly helps Faith pop her arm back into place.)
Faith: That's better. She got me really wound up.
(She looks at Xander and runs her hand over his chest.)
Faith: A fight like that and... no kill... I'm about ready to pop.
Xander: (nervously) Really? Pop?!
Faith: (smiles sexily) You up for it?
Xander: nods) Oh, I'm up.
(Then Faith reaches for Xander's crotch.)
Xander: I'm suddenly very up. It's just, um... I've never been up with people before.
(Faith pulls Xander into a passionate kiss.)
Faith: Just relax... And take your pants off.
(She starts to push his shirt and jacket off of his shoulders.)
Xander: Those two concepts are antithetical.
(The undressing process continues. Eventually, they end up on the bed.)
Faith: Don't worry. (pulls off her own shirt) I'll steer you around the curves.
Xander: Did I mention that I'm having a very strange night?
Xander: Long gone. Probably loaded with supplies. Gotta think. (A long pause as he tries to concentrate.) I can't believe I had sex! (catches himself) Okay, bombs. Already-dead guys with bombs. (realizes) Oh, man, I'm outta my league!
Parker: Stop! C'mon, man! Stop!
Xander: Where's the bomb?!
Parker: It's in, it's in the high school!
Xander: In the school where?!
Parker: Oh, God, this really, really hurts! Stop! It's in the, it's in the boiler room!
Xander: Alright. Now I'm gonna ask you this once, and you better pray you get the answer right.
Parker: Okay, okay!
Xander: How do I defuse...
(He never finishes his question, because he drives too close to a curbside mailbox, and the impact knocks Parker's head off.)
Xander: Aaah!
Xander: Should've learned by now. If you're gonna play with fire, you gotta expect sooner or later...
(Dickie takes off running before Xander can finish delivering his suave and cool Clint Eastwood line.)
Xander: (insulted) I wasn't finished!
Xander: I know what you're thinkin'. Can I get by him? Get up the stairs, out of the building, seconds ticking away... I don't love your chances.
Jack: Then you'll die, too.
Xander: Yeah, looks like. So I guess the question really is... who has less fear?
Jack: I'm not afraid to die. I'm already dead.
Xander: Yeah, but this is different. Being blowed up isn't walking around and drinking with your buddies dead. It's little bits being swept up by a janitor dead, and I don't think you're ready for that.
(He's proven right when Jack makes a move for the door. Xander matches his move, and Jack realizes there's no way he can get out.)
Jack: Are you?
Xander: I like the quiet.
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