I've been on Dragon*Con's volunteer staff for four years now, which gives me a unique viewpoint on the whole convention experience. Being on staff means I rarely - or never - get to see the media guest panels, the parade, or the Masquerade live (fortunately, D*C TV records the big events for posterity, so I have the option of viewing them at a later time). As a matter of fact, of the now five host hotels, I usually make it to a mere two. Funny thing is, I'm okay with that. My more circumscribed con experience wears me down as it is.
In any case, what I primarily seek from the con-going experience is not the chance to meet TV and movie stars - though I've met quite a few in the autograph lines, which I usually prefer over the large-room Q & A sessions. I go to the con to talk to other fans. Working on a fan track gives me ample opportunity to do this. It also gives me a chance to people-watch, another enjoyable activity. There's nothing better than playing door guard and listening to snippets of passing hallway conversations. Talking to my fellow staffers is also a treat because we all experience the same tribulations any super large con can bring.
Yesterday, I was walking down the stairs by the con suite, and I heard two sec ops guys bitching about their job (which is arguably the hardest). One informed the second that they had just been assigned to control the crowds outside the Centennial ballrooms (where many big-draw events are held), and the second guy exclaimed, "Nooo! I'm gonna kill myself!" Thus commenced an elaborate conversation detailing how the second guy could kill himself discreetly and how they could dispose of the body. Later on, I heard another pair of sec ops guys joking around downstairs about their explosive diarrhea and contagious rashes, and when I turned around and shot them a "What?" look, they said, "We're just messing around. We like to do that in front of large groups just to freak people out." Apparently, working security makes you a bit punchy after a while. I personally don't blame them for being a little twisted.
A fan track job is a breeze by comparison, but we still have the occasional moment here or there when we feel like blowing our brains out. This happened to a fellow very conservative staffer on my track who had to endure a panel that quickly descended into feminist bitching about the lack of strong female characters in literature. (Unfortunately, in fandom, this is a common occupational hazard.) What I find mildly irksome is the way normal attendees fail to follow the traffic rules. When I as a staffer have to get somewhere right now, please don't stop in the middle of a crowded, narrow hallway to take a picture. I agree that some of the cos play is great, but there are open spaces set aside for picture taking for a reason. Use them!
The folks who work with me tend to be a little more mature than the average attendee, which also results in scenes like the one that happened late last night while my director, another staffer, and I were playing door guard for our last panel. We were definitely into the after-dark period of Dragon*Con at that point, which means we saw many young, scantily clad girls walking down the hallway looking for the Japanese hentai. The three of us observed all of this activity and essentially became three grouchy old adults muttering amongst ourselves about how the kids should git off our lawn and put some clothes on. It was great. I don't think I'll ever leave this particular track because I feel so free to be my conservative self while I'm working it.
I'm kind of babbling at this point, so let me finish by saying that staffers work hard (without pay) and make many sacrifices so that 30,000-plus fans can enjoy a great four-day show. If you go to D*C, be sure to thank the folks wearing the staff lanyards; without people like us, the con would not exist.
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