Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Classics: DS9 5:20 - Ferengi Love Songs

Overall Rating: 2.0


Plot Synopsis:

A full round up of the thrilling romantic action adventure story that is guaranteed to make you wish you were dead just as much as Quark does in the opening scene can be found at the DS9 Encyclopedia here.

The Skinny:

C'mere Ira...no really..I just want to talk to you...I promise...it's nothing too bad. Just...c'mere for a sec. *WHAMMO!!!* See how your stomach feels now? Yeah...that's how your bad Ferengi jokes make your audience feel. And by this time, you KNEW this to be true. Fan reaction is not invisible to you...I know it isn't, because periodically, you comment on it in special features on your DVDs. I know you know the fans HATED your Ferengi episodes. So why did you do the same damned episode a dozen times in a row? Why do you not respect your fans enough to put away the toy you like and they don't and write something else? The worst part about this is...I can't figure out why Ira Steven Behr thought these MOOOOOOOOGIE and ZEKKIIEEEE!! lines were funny in the first place. I don't see any angle that would make me understand the humor in this.

Instead, we spend the entire episode hopelessly annoyed at the constant unpleasant screeching sounds coming from these Ferengi, the needless 2X4 head-slaps regarding the supposed weaknesses in 20th century capitalism (of course we know by now that these arguments are made against a straw man, not the real beast), the really REALLY icky romance, the gender-bending social "norms," the ridiculous music, the annoying (and inexplicable) adversaries, the predictable story lines, the horribly telegraphed jokes...


To top it all off...watching Ishka and Zek make out was just...gross. BLEECCHH!!!

There is just nothing redeeming about these Ferengi episodes. I think the 2.0 I'm giving this one might be a little bit generous...but all of that credit is going to the Rom/Leeta plot, which is actually marginally endearing other than the really poorly written dialogue. At least their hearts were in the right places while storyboarding this one - it makes sense that Rom would be worried about being taken for a ride given his past...and his lack of self confidence. I am not sure I agree with the conclusion that love means leaving nothing of yourself unguarded. I don't think the healthiest reaction to this conflict is to give up everything you own to prove you love someone. I think more balance would have helped. But...it was at least somewhat cute.

Other than that, however, I have nothing positive to say about this episode...so I'll say nothing else.

Writing: 1.0

One point for the Rom/Leeta story (out of 3), 0 for the Quark/Ishka/Zek plot (out of 7). Intentionally burdening your audience with things you know they hate because you think they're funny is working in bad faith with your unwritten contract and will lose you your job eventually if you work for someone other than Star Trek, where audiences go to die at least five times per season.

Acting: 4.0

Never did think Chase Masterson was much of an actress (sorry Dad...), and Shimerman can only do so much with a bad script...the rest of the Ferengi were AWFUL in this one.

Message: 1.0

Annoying anti-capitalist anti-western anti-audience episodes filled with straw man arguments and bad faith will not tend to do well at this blog.

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