Bonus Points for Being the Creepiest. Episode. EVAR: 0.5
Final Score: 9.2
HO-LY FRELL. And also, as SABR Matt so succinctly put it the other day: EEEEWWW!
The Farscape Wiki discusses all the gory details here. And I'm not kidding about the gory part.
Did you think the creative minds behind Farscape wouldn't be able to top the the sheer awfulness of the eyeball-sucking gizmo in A Clockwork Nebari? Well, if so, you were dead wrong. DEAD wrong. In this episode, they go farther - A LOT farther - with Kaarvok, who gets his psychopathic jollies by twinning the people around him and then sucking out their brains. And by the way, we get to see all of this in living color -- TWICE. Once you've witnessed Kaarvok jabbing his "sippy straw" into (copies of) both D'Argo and Chiana, you will know, intimately, the meaning of the phrase "nightmare fuel." As I said at the start: HO-LY FRELL.
And amazingly enough, it gets worse. Not only is Kaarvok running around looking for his version of a tasty beverage, but the people he has twinned multiple times are crawling all over the place as well -- and they are eating their Leviathan, its Pilot, and each other. Cannibalism for the OH MY GOD MAKE IT STOP! And oh yes, before I forget: D'Argo is also sexually molested by a member of Kaarvok's "family" because Kaarvok wants more "food." Needless to say, you should put the kids to bed before you even think of watching this episode. If Eat Me wasn't rated TV-MA when it originally aired, it should've been.
Now, the reaction above is not an indication that I disliked the episode. Far from it. I think the episode is an awesome horror piece. Moreover, Eat Me marks the official start of the show's very best long-term arc. As we'll see in future reviews, the decision to twin Crichton turns out to be a stroke of pure genius when all is said and done.
This is actually a score for the soundtrack and direction as well as the writing, as the extreme creep factor is definitely not achieved through the script alone.
There's a lot of screaming here -- but it's actually wholly appropriate in this case.
This episode is a bit like Won't Get Fooled Again. There's no message here, but none is really required.
This isn't an episode that succeeds because of the dialogue. Still, there are a few scenes worth highlighting:
Jool: You know, we don't have weapons on our planet. We don't have violence, we don't have war --
(But she is cut off when Chiana hauls off and punches her in the jaw.)
Jool: WHAT THE FRELL?
(Chiana punches Jool again. This time, Jool punches back.)
Jool: (squealing in pain) OOOOH! FRELLING HEZMANA!
Chiana: See? Violence. You'll get the hang of it. (LOL!)
John: What about your comms, atmosphere, the doors - can you control any of that?
RovhuPilot: My neural pods slashed. Please - kill me.
John: Look, your arms are gonna regenerate.
RovhuPilot: Growgan cut... aaahhh...
John: Grogan? Who the hell is Grogan?
RovhuPilot: Growgan! Growgan cut! GROWGAN CUT!
John: (the realization dawning) They - cut - your arms - and when they grow back - they hack 'em off again. Why the hell would they do that?
RovhuPilot: Because - because - because they're EATING ME! (O. M. G!)
John: D'Argo's dead. Chiana's dead. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah - I can feel it! THAT SICK HAMMER HORROR SON OF A BITCH! HE'S GONNA BE SUCKIN' MY BRAINS THROUGH A SIPPY-STRAW, AND IT AIN'T MAKIN' ME FEEL COMFORTABLE! (Indeed.)
John: What the hell are you still doin' here, Kaarvey?
Kaarvok: Others will come. More and more of you will come! To me! My - family! My farmland! My - my perfect - perfect dish! (EEEEEEEWWW.)