Overall Rating: *crickets*
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
*sound of snoring*
"YO! MATT! Wake up, you're drooling!!"
"Huh? Whuuhh?? Oh...sorry, I must have dozed off there. This episode is like a horse tranquilizer! I give this one a solid 5.0, the grade we give shows that bore us to tears without being offensive or incompetent.
Plot Synopsis:
The Stargate Wiki can fill you in on all of the details of the plot - it sounds epic when you read this, but trust me...it's not.
The Skinny:
So let's see here...we're doing another one of these episodes where we check out a planet and accidentally inflame old religious zealotry and start a war? Didn't we do this one in the 6th season episode Memento...and in the 3rd season episode New Ground? Why yes...I think we did. But...given that we're rehashing old ground, they must have some new spin on it right? Well...they come through the gate in the same way, their first contact seems similarly peaceful, the same kind of tension arises between one faction that believes the gate is just a native relic and another that believes it's a religious symbol relating to their creation myths, and we get a full scale shooting war over it. The difference, apparently, is that this time, the bad guys WIN instead of merely holding serve - yielding a thermonuclear war that traps Daniel in a loveless three-way marriage (kidding...sort of). Otherwise...there's nothing unique here. Even the end, with the crazed zealot getting himself martyred - that's been done on Stargate in other episodes. So...then...they must have had some very clever new characters to show us, right? Maybe this will be a romance like 100 days? I mean, Daniel spends about that long on this planet. NOPE! These characters are utterly lifeless, they're played by actors who don't appear to care about the roles, they have no chemistry with each other or with Shanks, and they are given no dialogue that couldn't ably be read by ANYONE else for the same effect.
So...having ruled out a new story idea, a new way of telling the story (they went nuclear, but apparently, they were the soft and lovable nukes that didn't do any damage at all to the main bunker at the heart of this nation's military command center or the surrounding suburbs, so we never are struck by the spectacular destruction they caused and thus have no reason to care), a new dramatic twist, and a well-written character piece in a familiar setting. What's left? Ah yes. This episode was clearly written to be a treatment for insomnia. That's the only explanation I can think of. Sadly...I do not have insomnia - I have a blog where I'm expected to produce funny, insightful, or somehow entertaining reviews of science fiction/genre television and film. For that...this episode is utterly useless. Unless you find descriptions of my drool urbane and witty.
*sigh* NEXT!!
Writing: 3.0
No creativity in the plot, the dialogue, the character back-stories, or the setting were employed here. The story was competently told (i.e. not amateurish and lazy), but other than that...it was was worthless.
Acting: 5.0
Wood isn't interesting...the trees had more personality than Leda and Gareth.
Message: 7.0
Zealotry absent an intellectual/spiritual context derived from hard work and soul-searching will get you nowhere...they at least got that part right.
No comments:
Post a Comment