Plot Synopsis:
The temperatures are well below zero, and Gary would rather spend the day inside in bed. Circumstances conspire against him, however. First, Chuck arrives and announces he's moving in temporarily; apparently, the furnaces have broken down in Chuck's building. Second, the paper appears on schedule, and it is not entirely free of preventable incidents. On page thirteen, in fact, the paper reports that a man will be hit by a car. Gary tells Marissa he's going to let that one be - the man isn't going to die after all - but Marissa, in her quiet way, eventually makes Gary feel guilty enough to go outside and handle it.
Before saving the man in question, Gary is approached by a kid who asks for some change, claiming his mother is sick. Gary gives the kid the change in his pocket without a second thought, then leaps on the aforementioned man before he steps out into the street. The man is not grateful for Gary's interference, as he was hoping to win money in a lawsuit. Gary returns to McGinty's grumbling about the paper's wild goose chases, but Marissa thinks there must have been some other reason Gary was sent to that location. At any rate, Gary is ready to spend the rest of the day inside - but when he looks at the paper, he finds another story in the same spot on page 13. This time, a woman is going to be overcome by smoke from a fire. Gary again declares that he's not going out, as the woman is going to live, but Marissa again persuades Gary to take care of it. (Heh.)
Outside the burning apartment building, Gary tells a fireman that there is still one more resident inside, but the fireman doesn't seem very appreciative. Just then, the same kid from the first rescue appears. This time, he asks for a dollar, claiming his sister is sick. "Oh, yeah? And how's your mom doing?" Gary says. But he eventually breaks down and takes out his wallet. When he pulls out some bills, the kid steals one of his twenties and runs off. Gary doesn't have time to pursue him, though; instead, he has to go into the building and argue with an elderly lady who won't leave until her favorite soap has ended. Gary finally pulls out the paper and reads the synopsis for the soap in question; the lady, certain Gary is lying, storms out. Gary tries to follow, but the lady's doorknob falls off, and he is trapped inside.
A thoroughly irritated Gary returns to the Blackstone and is none to pleased to find Chuck taking over his apartment; Chuck has tied up the phone line, has his stuff spread out all over the place, and has put his goldfish in Gary's sink. When Gary complains about the fish in his sink, Chuck transfers it to Gary's drinking glass. "I'll wash it!" Chuck replies when Gary objects. Noticing that Gary is in a bad mood over the paper, Chuck suggests that Gary do his rescue work over the phone. Gary thinks this is a pretty good idea, but of course he has to go down to McGinty's, as Chuck won't let him use his phone. "Get that fish out of my glass!" Gary yells as he leaves. Chuck, grumbling, proceeds to do so, but he drops the glass. Panicked, he puts his goldfish in Gary's toilet. (You can probably see where this is going already. :))
Down in McGinty's, Gary tries to handle several small stories over the pay phone, but eventually the other customers get annoyed and force Gary to use the pay phone outside. There, he runs into the kid from before once again, but again, Gary doesn't register this coincidence, as once again, the man from the first rescue appears in the paper. Angry, Gary throws the paper out. But when he returns to the Blackstone, Cat and the paper are there waiting for him. Grumbling, he pitches the paper in the trash can in the lobby and goes upstairs, where he finds Chuck in the middle of a Swedish massage. When Gary storms into the bathroom and slams the door, Chuck, oblivious, asks him what's wrong. Gary announces he's moving to another hotel to get away from Chuck, flushes the toilet, and leaves. After a moment, Chuck realizes what has just happened. "SPARKY!" he cries.
Out in the street, Gary finds the paper, intact, in one of those newspaper dispensers. "I don't want this!" he yells in the direction of heaven, after which he throws the paper in some homeless men's fire. Before he gets far, however, a piece of the paper flutters down from the sky. "Homeless Boy Dies of Exposure," it reports. Gary tries to rescue the paper from the fire, but it's too late. Returning to the Blackstone, Gary asks Chuck, with urgency in his voice, whether the paper has returned, but Chuck is too preoccupied by Sparky's untimely demise to care. A frustrated Gary then goes out into the streets asking the people he passes whether they have seen the kid from earlier. He has no luck. Freezing, he stops by a diner to get coffee, but before the drink even arrives, he sees the kid outside and immediately goes after him.
The kid runs into an unoccupied and crumbling building and is caught in a cave-in. Gary follows him in, sees that the kid is hurt, and immediately goes to find help. Before Gary gets out of the building, though, there is another cave-in which blocks the door. Gary and the kid are trapped. As they wait to be rescued, Gary finds out that the kid's name is Tony and that he has grandparents who live in Arizona. Eventually, Tony fades out from the hypothermia; Gary tries to keep him awake, but is unsuccessful. "Don't do this to me!" Gary cries, again directing his shout heavenward. At that moment, he hears Cat meow somewhere above his head. Following the sound of Cat's cries, Gary finds another way out of the building -
- where he finds the rescue squad, who have been lead there by Chuck. You see, while Chuck was moping around in Gary's apartment gorging himself on Chinese, he happened to find the paper intact on the table with a headline reporting Gary's death emblazoned on the front page. Chuck immediately grabbed the first ride he could get (with a motorcyclist), then walked the rest of the way to the derelict building. He was found by the police just before he fainted from the cold.
In the end, everyone recovers from the ordeal, and Tony is sent to Arizona to live with his grandparents. Gary and Chuck, meanwhile, mend the fences.
Overall: 8.8 - This is a frequently very funny and sweet episode in which the presence of God is especially evident.
Writing: 9.0
I love this episode to bits. For one thing, Chuck's gradual takeover of Gary's apartment and the drama over Sparky are rolling-on-the-floor hilarious (if a little predictable), as are the running joke regarding Gary's nagging conscience - which won't let him ignore a minor story even if it's twenty below - and the constant abuse he suffers at the hands of his ungrateful rescuees. Put-upon, grouchy Gary always makes me smile. For another thing - and this is something that I'm sure excites my co-author - Chuck gets to be the hero, thereby demonstrating once and for all that despite his frequent moments of selfishness, Chuck really does have a heart of gold.
Acting: 8.5
The guests are okay, and the regulars are fantastic. There's no denying that Kyle and Fisher have a comic chemistry that is impossible to replicate. And they are both good at behaving as if they're freezing, by the way. This being a show that was filmed on location in Chicago, it's possible that it was actually cold that day, but I must say that I found their penguin walking amusingly realistic.
Message: 9.0
In this episode - and in others - we see the show's very Christian sympathy for the disadvantaged and lost. There are a lot of invisible people in the world - people who live in desperate poverty and/or on the streets. At one point, Gary tries to enlist the police to help in his search for Tony and is rebuffed on the grounds that kids get lost and die on the streets everyday. This is an expression of hopelessness - one that is understandable given the scope of the suffering that exists in the world, but also one that is inadvertently cruel. Fortunately, the paper calls Gary and us to take notice and do something, however small - to shine our light in someone's darkness.
The Benevolent Hand:
How is God present in this episode? Let me enumerate the ways:
Number one, Marissa is moved by the Spirit to urge Gary to pursue seemingly unimportant stories in the paper - stories that, by the way, repeatedly put Gary in the right place at the right time to run into Tony.
Number two, when Gary finally gets fed up and tries to dispose of the paper, it keeps coming back intact. And when he tries to burn it, the piece with Tony's headline flutters down from the sky.
Number three, when Gary, after searching the city for Tony, sits down in a diner, Tony appears right outside.
Number four, when Gary and Tony are trapped by a cave-in, the paper comes, again intact, to Chuck, whose presence outside the building attracts the police.
Number five, Gary is led out of the building by Cat.
In short, this episode is definitely one reason why I insert a "Benevolent Hand" segment in each review. Here, the miracles are everywhere.
Highlights:
CHUCK: Middle of the night, the heat goes off in the entire building. Within fifteen minutes, my apartment's the North Pole. Poor Sparky's bowl starts to ice up.
GARY: Well, can't you call someone? What about the Condo Association? Why don't you call them?
CHUCK: They're not coming in today. It's too cold.
GARY: Listen, Chuck...
CHUCK: When I woke up this morning, my toes were frozen. I couldn't move them. You should see 'em. They started turning blue. That's the first sign of frostbite, you know that?
GARY: Chuck...
CHUCK: First they turn blue. Then they turn black. Then they fall off. Wanna see 'em?
GARY: No, Chuck, I don't wanna see your toes. I-I don't ...
(Chuck has already taken off his sock.)
GARY: Hey, Chuck, why don't you get a hotel room?
CHUCK: Because. You already have a hotel room. What are friends for?
(He gets up to slap Gary on the back.)
CHUCK: Come on, Gar! It'll be just like college! You and me, roomies again!
GARY: Chuck, do you want to know why I graduated a semester early? Because you and your stuff, it's got a way of, uh, taking over a room!
MARISSA: One day? That doesn't seem very generous, does it?
GARY: Trust me - one day with Chuck is more like one year.
MARISSA: But he's your best friend.
GARY: Yes, he is my best friend, and I'd like to keep it that way.
MARISSA: So what are you gonna do? It's a little cold for the beach.
GARY: I'll tell you what I'm gonna do: I'm gonna sit here, play a little pool, have a few drinks...
MARISSA: Read the paper?
GARY: I already read the paper cover to cover. There's nothing in it.
MARISSA: Really?
GARY: Really.
MARISSA: Nothing that needs you to be there?
GARY: Nope.
MARISSA: You're sure about that?
GARY: Yep. Positive.
(There's a long pause.)
GARY: There is one little thing, but it's tiny. It's on page thirteen. Guy gets broken... car... (He mumbles the last bit.)
MARISSA: What was that?
GARY: Guy gets hit by a car and breaks his leg, but I'm telling you, it shouldn't even be in there.
MARISSA: But it is.
GARY: Yeah, but listen, Marissa. I don't need to go out there. If I...
MARISSA: I know, I know. You don't want to go out. I don't want to go out. I understand.
GARY: Good! Thank you.
MARISSA: On the other hand... it is in there.
GARY: Please don't do that.
MARISSA: Fine. Not another word.
(Marissa waits, a smile on her face.)
GARY: (sighing) I gotta go out there.
MARISSA: (simultaneously with Gary) Good luck!
MARISSA: The paper didn't lie.
GARY: No, but it did send me on some kind of wild stupid goose chase.
MARISSA: Well, maybe so, maybe not. Maybe there's a reason it sent you there.
GARY: Like what?
MARISSA: Maybe it needed you there at that time in that place.
GARY: (muttering) My nose...
MARISSA: Well, anyway, you did what you had to do. Now you can spend the rest of the day inside, right?
GARY: You betcha!
MARISSA: Whereas I have to go visit my mother, in which case...
GARY: NO!
MARISSA: What is it?
GARY: There's another one in the same spot! "Woman Overcome By Smoke."
(He reads further.)
GARY: I'm not doing it.
MARISSA: What?
GARY: It says she recovers. She - this isn't a life-and-death situation. I don't have to go out there for this.
MARISSA: As you wish.
GARY: I do wish! I don't have to go out there, I don't want to go out there, and I'm telling you I'm not going out there!
MARISSA: Fine.
GARY: No, I mean it!
MARISSA: Fine.
(After a moment, Gary wilts.)
GARY: I gotta go.
MARISSA: (again simultaneously with Gary) Good luck!
GARY: Miss Rossmore, there's a fire.
MISS ROSSMORE: Shh! I'm not leaving until I know how this ends. Now shh!
GARY: Miss Rossmore, what are you watching?
MISS ROSSMORE: The Young and the Restless.
GARY: (pulling out the paper) All right, The Young and the Restless - you wanna know how it ends? "Tony learns that Victoria is actually the heiress to the Newman fortune. The police close the hit-and-run case." You satisfied?
MISS ROSSMORE: You lie!
GARY: Huh?
MISS ROSSMORE: Phyllis can't get away with this! I know she hit him on purpose. She hates Chris and always has.
(Miss Rossmore storms out.)
GARY: I don't write 'em, lady.
CHUCK: So what happened to you?
GARY: What happened to me? I'll tell you what happened to me. I almost got run over, then I got in a fight with this elderly lady, and then I had to climb out of a burning building, but other than that, I had a perfectly normal -
(Gary sees Chuck's goldfish in his sink.)
GARY: What's this?
CHUCK: His bowl cracked, remember?
GARY: Then get him another bowl!
CHUCK: Okay, you want your sink back? Fine!
(Chuck gets up to move the fish. He puts Sparky in Gary's glass.)
GARY: Thank you.
CHUCK: Cranky today, aren't we?
GARY: You know, I go out today, in the cold, to help people who really don't want any help, and - what are you doing? That's my glass. I rinse my mouth out with that glass!
CHUCK: I'll wash it!
GARY: (muttering) This is not good for my health.
CHUCK: Then do what I do.
GARY: Oh yeah, what's that? Live off your friends? (Ouch!)
CHUCK: Hey, uh, Gar? Something wrong?
GARY: No, nothing's wrong. I just wanted to come home, have a hot shower, something to eat, go back to bed - but that's okay. 'Cause I'm moving out.
CHUCK: What?
GARY: That's right, I'm getting myself a room - in another hotel.
CHUCK: What's wrong with this one?
GARY: What's wrong with this one? I'll tell you what's wrong with this one: you're in it! You, Sparky, and Inga.
TONY: Brisk, huh? Interesting.
GARY: Huh?
TONY: Instead of cold, you said brisk.
GARY: My dad used to say that. We went camping this one time, my dad and I, up at this lake in the middle of November. That was cold. You ever been camping in the winter time?
TONY: What do you call this?
GARY: Yeah. (A beat.) How'd you get here?
TONY: You mean here under this pipe?
GARY: You got an answer for everything, don't ya?
TONY: You wanna survive, you have to.
GARY: Yeah.
TONY: Okay, okay - where did I come from? A lot of places I never wanted to be. A lot of places I don't want to talk about.
GARY: Where are your parents?
TONY: I got grandparents. They live in Arizona, but I haven't seen them since I was twelve. I've been on my own since then.
GARY: You've been on your own since you were twelve years old?
TONY: I do fine. How 'bout you?
GARY: Me?
TONY: You don't have anyone either, do you?
GARY: What makes you say something like that?
TONY: I know people.
GARY: How much longer is that thing gonna stay lit? (He's referring to the kid's light source.)
TONY: Couple hours.
GARY: Good. We'll be out of here by then.
TONY: You really believe that?
GARY: Yes, I do.
TONY: No wonder you got your wallet stolen.
CHUCK: Gary! Gary! Gary! In here!
GARY: (opens the ambulance door) Chuck!
CHUCK: Gar. See? Told ya I'd save ya. (Aww.)
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