A common sci-fi trope takes a twist for the deeply meaningful in this surprisingly well-crafted "lesson of the week" Buffy episode. You generally don't expect stand-alone scripts to make this much of an impact, but Earshot's powerful conclusion propels it to the feature level easily.
Plot Synopsis:
On a routine patrol, Buffy encounters a pair of scabby-looking demons and quickly kills one of them, battling the other to a virtual stalemate before it flees the scene. In the struggle, the creature (a rather hideous animal-looking thing with a tail and horns) touches Buffy's arm and soon thereafter, the area begins to look infected. Meanwhile, Buffy bemoans the fact that she can't attend the basketball game that even Willow - sweet, non-athletically-inclined Willow! - is attending to show support for Percy, whom she is still tutoring. However, those mundane concerns are tabled when Buffy shows her hand to Giles and describes the demon. He's done some research and as it turns out, this particular demon has the ability to infect a human who touches it with an aspect of itself. Buffy, remembering how hideous it was, hopes it's not an external physical aspect. She'll soon wish it was. A talk with Angel on her patrol produces a sweet moment in which Angel swears that he'd love her even if she grew scales or a tail.
After a thrilling win at the buzzer, the Slayerettes are all atwitter about the basketball game the next day when Buffy arrives (and they quickly go silent for her benefit). Cordelia, of course, is oblivious to the needs of others and just blurts out her reaction to the game, making it clear that Buffy missed a big moment for the school. She is understandably bummed. Again, however, mundane worries hit the back-burner when she realizes that she can hear Xander's thoughts. He is worried that Cordelia and Wesley Wyndam-Pryce have kissed and she empathizes with him, not realizing his worries were internal. Later, she hears the thoughts of her Physics teacher, Mr. Beech, who wishes the students would all just go away and a young sex-crazed boy who finds Buffy attractive (in a creepy sort of way). She reports this to Giles, but he doesn't believe her until she repeats back his thoughts word for word. He realizes that the demons she fought must be telepathic (explaining their lack of mouths).
Buffy then spends the next day thinking this aspect is a good one...stealing answers in English class, poking fun of the thoughts of the Scoobies and trying to read Angel's mind re: what he thought of role playing the bad guy with Faith (of course, this doesn't work on vampires, but he draws her into a mature conversation in which he assures her that bad girls do nothing for him). Angel, however, thinks the mind-reading is a curse, not a blessing, warning that it could be a serious problem if she can't control it. In fact, the next day, Giles does some reading and finds an account of another man who got this same affliction and went stark-raving mad because he couldn't turn it off or block out those thoughts. Soon, Buffy is overwhelmed in the crowded cafeteria at school with hundreds of students thinking more loudly than they talk. Until, that is, one thought rises above the din. "This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all." Suddenly, the episode has turned very...very serious.
Having heard this ominous thought, Buffy tries frantically to find the person responsible for it, but the hundreds of voices are too much for her brain to process and she completely loses it - passing out after a panic attack. When she awakes, she is outside and away from the crowd. She tells the Scoobies about the threat, but Giles insists she go home and rest in solitude so she sends Willow and Xander off to investigate the students and find the potential mass murderer. Giles, offhandedly, thinks that if Buffy's power doesn't go away soon, she'll go insane - not helping her calm. The thoughts of the neighbors hundreds of yards away bombard her at ever increasing volume.
Meanwhile, Willow, Xander, Cordelia and Oz question students...a list of suspects dozens long are all interviewed (with varying degrees of hilarious unprofessionalism and/or out of character cop routines) - culminating in the realization that Freddie has not been found...the only person on their suspect list that they haven't cleared. They assume he's the potential murderer, but when they eventually do find him, it turns out he's been hiding from Oz because of a bad review he wrote of the Dingos, not because he's the would-be killer. Red herring #1 is blown away. Now, we see Jonathan - an unassuming (and very awkward) nerd who we've encountered on several other occasions throughout the series - ascending the clock tower at school and assembling a large rifle! At the same time, Giles and Wesley have realizes that to make Buffy's affliction go away, they have to feed her the heart of the demon that touched her. Sure enough, Angel knows this already and is out killing that very demon to save his girl...how chivalrous!
Meanwhile, Cordelia finds and reads a note in the school paper from Jonathan in which he says that by the time everyone is reading it, they'll know what he's done...that death is not easy but it's the only way. Buffy, who has been fed the demon's heart by Angel and is now thought-free, spots Jonathan in the clock tower and flies up there to stop him from gunning students down. He bemoans his forgotten status at the school. Here, the episode takes another brilliant step forward...Buffy informs him that no one cares about HIS problems because they're all too busy worrying about their own. Everyone...from the popular cheerleaders to the geeks in the chess club...is quietly struggling with problems that seem enormous. With this booming lesson in perspective ringing in his ears, Jonathan hands over the gun, explaining that he just wanted the pain to stop. Buffy points out that mass murder doesn't help with pain of any kind and...red herring #2 is revealed! Jonathan says he went up there to kill himself...and no one else!
Meanwhile, Xander is innocently looking for some jello when he spots the lunch lady pouring rat poison in the food! Oh shitsky, batman! He whips around the lunch room throwing the students' food to the floor screaming about the poison and she comes after him with a butcher knife. Buffy, fresh from her confrontation with Jonathan, arrives just in time to clobber the mad old bird with one swift kick and the authorities arrive to drag her away screaming about how the students are nothing but vermin. Yowza!! The next day, we learn that Jonathan will be suspended for having a weapon but has entered counseling, and that the lunch lady will be doing hard time for attempted murder. We also enjoy Giles being thrown off by a smart-alecky comment about the thought she overhead from Joyce re: their sexual encounter in "Band Candy."
The Skinny:
SABR Matt: This episode is brilliant on at least five different levels stylistically.
1) The twists actually work. A lot of episodes with dramatic twists telegraph things too well...intelligent viewers have learned never to trust the first obvious suspect in a mystery...we expect one red herring. We also expect a really straightforward lesson of the week regarding violence not solving pain and therefore, Jonathan's implication as the killer makes sense to us..he's following red herring #1 (Freddie), who we all dismissed, so we're ready to believe it was him all along. And then WHAM!! It was someone never even MENTIONED in any of the prior episodes! That's good TV right there.
2) The trope is revived! A lot of sci-fi shows have fallen back on the potential comedic and dramatic implications of mind-reading...but BtVS did it in a way I've never seen before. It wasn't simply a great responsibility...a comedic goldmine...or a window into how people perceived the person suddenly gifted with telepathy. No...this time...it's a curse...a deadly curse that is used to heighten the personal stakes for Buffy and the drama for the rest of the regulars. I like the implied message Jane Espenson chose with this one. It's not just "be careful what you wish for"...it's a resounding "don't tread where only God belongs."
3) We are given perspective! The telepathy gives Buffy a unique opportunity to gain perspective about the kinds of problems all teenagers think are life and death (so and so won't ask me to the prom, I missed the basketball game because of some lame responsibility, my boyfriend might be attracted to a different woman, etc), the problems that actually ARE, and the huuuuuuuggge gulf that lies between. She then imparts her new-found wisdom on Jonathan - a kid who has been swallowed up by focusing on his little world of little problems and lost hope. Stepping into the minds of her peers, Buffy realizes that every last one of them has problems just as big as her own...or Jonathan's for that matter. The key to giving one lost soul a bit of hope is the realization that he is far from the only one out there who feels alone.
4) The acting is sensational. And I mean all of the acting...and this is a cast of thousands here (practically)...even the bit players add a great deal to the richness of the high school landscape in this episode...I doubt the show would have hit home so well for me if they hadn't taken the time to make Sunnydale High so real, and if the actors hadn't done such a fantastic job reminding us of people we knew in our own classes.
5) The range of emotions is complete. There are several exchanges that are downright HILARIOUS...a number of heartwarming moments that give you the fuzzies...real dramatic tension...and a touch of sadness thrown in when Jonathan gives his heart breaking speech about how everyone has forgotten him and no one cares. I think many of Buffy's biggest fans have had moments when they could absolutely relate to this poor kid.
Stephanie S.: We all have tape recorders inside our heads that play what we imagine are the thoughts of other people -- and for teenagers especially, the volume on that tape recorder is pretty loud. When you're young and you spend six hours or more a day in an environment that is often very emotionally toxic, it's hard not to conclude that all of your classmates are watching you and noticing your every flaw.
In this episode, Buffy acquires a power that challenges this teenaged self-consciousness head-on, and while it is temporarily maddening for Buffy to hear the random thoughts (and sexual fantasies) of everyone around her, her telepathy ultimately helps her to move beyond the narcissism of adolescence. This is awesome. It is also quite in keeping with the general theme of the show for the past three seasons. As of this point, Buffy has learned that the adults in her life are far from perfect, that the world is much more complicated than she has ever imagined, and that her peers can't be boiled down to simple stereotypes. The writers are hitting all the highlights of growing up.
Writing: 10.0/9.5
As far as I can tell...this is the most fundamentally flawless and well-balanced script of the third season...perhaps of the first three seasons in their entirety. I can't think of a single reason to lower the rating.
Stephanie S. Chimes In: Actually, I thought the lunch lady ending was a bit rushed and anti-climactic. Still, Jane Espenson does a marvelous job capturing typical adolescent anxieties, and though I wasn't fully satisfied with the conclusion of the episode, I did like how it subverted the Columbine-inspired "freaky boys shooting up their school" cliche.
Acting: 10.0/9.5
As I said above, I was even impressed with most of the bit players here...particularly Danny Strong (Jonathan), Ethan Erickson (Percy), Larry Bagby (Larry), Wendy Worthington (Lunch Lady) and Kristine Sutherland (Joyce). The surprising big winner, though, is David Boreanaz. If an otherwise perfect acting performance is going to be marred...he's usually the one to do it, but this week, he was on fire or something, because I never felt like he missed a beat. It goes without saying that SMG was at the top of her game as well.
Stephanie S. Chimes In: I wasn't really bowled over by David Boreanaz, but I agree with SABR Matt's assessment otherwise.
Message: 10.0/10.0
When you turn your world inward, it can't be any bigger than you are. Here's a tip, folks...we're all TINY. In a small world, all problems seem gigantic. They key to fighting depression - especially in high school and college - is to focus on something other than yourself. Buffy teaches this to Jonathan and maybe...just maybe...to a few of her viewers. I wonder if anyone watching this episode when it first aired was depressed and took heart in her words.
Highlights:
GILES Here we go, we've been researching the, uh, mayor's forthcoming ascension.
OZ It's pretty riveting stuff.
BUFFY What do we know?
XANDER What don't we know. Tell her Giles.
GILES Based upon the supposed date, graduation day, and the mayor being impervious to harm, I've cross referenced-
XANDER He's a cross-referencing fool.
GILES And I've eliminated several possibilities. It's not the ritual flaying of the demon Azarath nor the, uh ... I don't know what's going to happen.
(and later)
GILES I was just filling Buffy in on my progress regarding the research on the ascension.
WESLEY Oh, and what took up the rest of the minute?
GILES Touche. Of course, my work is unofficial. I'm sure, however, with the resources of the council at your disposal, you will have something to add.
WESLEY Well, I am pleased to state, with certainty, that the demon Azarath will not in any way be involved... (The whole gang, minus Giles gets up and heads out of the library, leaving Wesley standing at the head of the table.)
WESLEY I'm sure we'll find out more soon.
GILES Demon Azarath? (hee!)
RANDOM STUDENT Great game man. (Xander joins Buffy and Willow.)
XANDER Hogan Martin thinks he's sooooo hot. Like we should all be awed by him cuz he can put a ball in the net.
HOGAN Hey Xander.
XANDER He said my name! He knows my name! (LOL!)
BUFFY Is it me or is this really lame?
OZ I don't know. I usually enjoy lameness, and this is leaving me kinda cold.
WILLOW (reading the school newspaper) Well, according to Freddy's latest editorial, 'the pep rally is a place for pseudo-prostitutes to provoke men into a sexual frenzy which, when thwarted, results in pointless athletic competition.' (wow)
XANDER And the downside being? (LOL)
WILLOW The school paper is edging on depressing lately. You guys notice that?
OZ I don't know. I always go straight to the obits. (ROTFL!!)
WILLOW What are you doing Buffy?
BUFFY Nothing...checking for horns. (Buffy hops off the bench away from them. Willow quickly goes after her and they stop to talk a short distance away from Oz and Xander who still watch the rally.)
WILLOW Ah, you know, Buffy, I don't even think Giles is right about you becoming like a demon. I mean he's totally burnt. You know, dealing with faith and this ascension thing. Between you and me, he's not doing his best work.
BUFFY What if he is right? I'm suddenly going to grow this demon part and we don't even know what it is. It could be claws or scales... (Willow's expression turns shocked)
BUFFY What?
WILLOW Was it a boy demon? (BWWWAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!!! Willow's so CUTE!)
ANGEL Sorry.
BUFFY It's okay. I didn't see you so I should have known you were there. (heh) What are you doing here?
ANGEL It's a dangerous time. You know, with Faith.
BUFFY Yeah....Faith. She...well... Faith, what can ya say about her? (They walk together)
ANGEL I just wanna make sure you're, you know, ok. That you're, safe. She stops and faces him.
BUFFY And the fact that you're right here, does that mean Faith's around? Are you keeping me safe by tracking me, or are you tracking her?
ANGEL I'm tracking you. Something's bothering you.
BUFFY A lot of things. (They start walking again) The most recent being this demon. Actually, two. I touched one of them and now I'm gonna get a big case of the bumpies, or a tail, or something.
ANGEL An aspect of the demon.
BUFFY You know the drill.
ANGEL By rumor. That doesn't mean anything. I mean, sometimes demons, they just exaggerate their power.
BUFFY Demon hype. Maybe not. I spend all my time in the dark here anyway. It's not like I'd be at a gain you know with my friends where someone could see me and my new monster part. (Angel grabs her arm and pulls her around to face him)
ANGEL Hey, I won't let anything happen to you if I can help it. No matter what, I'll always be with you. Hey, I'll love you even if you're covered with slime. (aww)
BUFFY I liked everything until that part. (LOL!)
WILLOW Could you believe it? Right at the buzzer. Three points for the win.
OZ It was intense.
XANDER Yeah, for a minute there I thought you're gonna make an expression. (LOL!)
OZ Well, I felt one coming on. I won't lie.
WILLOW Man, I've never seen anyone jump like Hogan Martin. They should call him -- the jumper.
XANDER Or a name that isn't an article of woman's clothing. (heh)
MR. BEECH Ooo, whoa there. You watch where you're going now.
BUFFY I'm sorry Mr. Beech, I will.
MR. BEECH (V.O.) (as he walks away) Students. If we could just get rid of all the students.
(Buffy continues down the hall. Students thoughts assail her)
GEEKY MALE STUDENT (V.O.) When I'm a sophomore jillionaire and you're all flipping burgers. Who's the loser then...(and I had a similar thought many times........)
FEMALE STUDENT (V.O.) 'Maybe I'll take french, I said. How hard can it be, french babies learn it.' IDIOT! (LOL!)
SOME STUDENT WITH BAGGY PANTS (V.O.) I swear, someday my pants are gonna fall right off. (LOL!!)
ANOTHER MALE STUDENT (V.O.) Buffy is so beautiful. (She stops, gives a furtive glance at the guy)
ANOTHER MALE STUDENT (V.O.) I mean, look at that body. (She raises her arm to shield a blush)
ANOTHER MALE STUDENT (V.O.) God, I would love to shove her against that locker right now and just oooh. (She mentally freaks and hurries past. She almost bumps into another guy who looks at her. We don't hear his thought but she breaks into a run)
BUFFY Is this the thing? The aspect thing? Because I gotta say, if it is, it is way better than a tail. I mean, I have a hard enough time finding jeans that fit right.
GILES Buffy, slow down. I'm not even convinced that this is genuine mind reading. You're most likely projecting your-
BUFFY When I walked in a few minutes ago, you thought 'Look at her shoes. If a fashion magazine told her to, she'd wear cats strapped to her feet. (HA!! Awesome)
BUFFY It was happening out in the hallway. Principal Snyder has Walk Like an Egyptian stuck in his head (ROTFL!!!...what an image). And the boys at this school are seriously disturbed. It's weird, but Giles, think about it. Think about what I could do.
GILES It could be very useful. You could anticipate your opponent's every move. Turn his plans against him.
BUFFY Oh, way better than that.
(Cut to Buffy in literature class)
BUFFY Jealousy! Willow is seated to her right, with Xander behind her. Nancy, annoying miss-know-it-all is to Buffy's left. The teacher walks around the room.
TEACHER Buffy. Right. Very good.
NANCY (V.O.) I knew that.
TEACHER Jealousy clearly is the tool that Iago uses to undo Othello. But what's his motivation? What reason does Iago give for destroying his superior officer?
NANCY (V.O.) Cassio has my place. Twixt my sheets, he's done my office.
BUFFY Well, he was passed over for promotion. Cassio was picked instead and people were saying that Othello slept with his wife.
WILLOW (V.O.) Buffy did the reading? Buffy understood the reading? (LOL!)
XANDER (V.O.) When did she study? Was I supposed to study? Ms. Murray's kinda hot.
NANCY (V.O.) I was gonna say Cassio. Uh, I hate her.
TEACHER Any other reason.
NANCY (blurting out) Race!
TEACHER Uh... good Nancy. Can't overlook that. Boy sitting at Willow's right,
FREDDY (V.O.) Look at them, scrambling for the teacher's praise like pigeons for thrown bread crust.
BUFFY (whispering) Will, who's that guy.
WILLOW That's Freddy Iverson. He writes those editorials for the school paper. He's sardonic.
FREDDY (V.O.) Bread crusts. That's deep. I should write that down. Buffy turns and looks back at the teacher, now at the front of the room.
TEACHER There's something else at work here.
BUFFY Well, he, um, he sort of admits himself that his motive are... spurious! He, um, he does things because he, he enjoys them. It's like he's not, he's not really a person. He's a, the dark half of Othello himself.
WILLOW (V.O.) Huh...
XANDER (V.O.) Woah! (The teacher steps out from behind her desk and approaches Buffy.)
TEACHER Buffy. Really. Very astute. I said something quite like that in my dissertation.
BUFFY I know. Uh, I mean... I agree. With that.
TEACHER Yes, and doesn't that also explain Othello's readiness to believe Iago. Within seconds he turns on Desdemona. (Camera moves in on Buffy as the teacher speaks)
TEACHER He believes that she's been unfaithful. And we're all like that. We all have our little internal Iagos, that tell us our husbands or our girlfriends or whatever, don't really love us. But you never really see what's in someone's heart. (this is getting quoted because I think it is a brilliant segue into Buffy's scene with Angel and because the way the writer sets up Freddy as a possible suspect is brilliant)
ANGEL You don't have to play games with me Buffy. Ever.
BUFFY Well, you're not exactly Joe-here's- what-I'm-thinking.
ANGEL So ask me.
BUFFY Oh, but that woulda made sense. (LOL)
ANGEL What do you wanna know about? Faith? How I felt kissing her, pretending to have no soul? Watching you suffer?
BUFFY Well, since you bring it up...
ANGEL I hated hurting you, more than I could stand.
BUFFY Look, the thing about Faith, I'd understand. You know, she has, you know, that whole bad girl thing working for her.
ANGEL Kissing her meant nothing. I don't want a bad girl. I've done that before. I've lived a long time Buffy, and I'm past that. I've been with dozens of girls like her. More.
BUFFY Oh this honesty stuff is funnn (heh).
ANGEL I mean, there's no comparison. In two-hundred-forty-three years, I've loved exactly one person.
BUFFY Oh...it is me right?
ANGEL Next time, just ask. (very nice scene)
XANDER She can read our minds? Our every impulse and fantasy.
BUFFY Every one.
XANDER (V.O.) Oh god.
CORDELIA (V.O.) I don't see what this has to do with me.
CORDELIA I don't see what this has to do with me.
WILLOW Well, I think it's great. Right? I mean, you enjoy your other slayer powers.
BUFFY Yeah, and it'll be fun. Did you see Nancy Doyle's face in English Class today?
WILLOW Yeah, she's super competitive, and you really showed her.
WILLOW (V.O.) She's hardly even human anymore. How can I be her friend now? She doesn't need me.
BUFFY No! I do need you.
CORDY Ok, what are you talking about? Because you are soooo creepy right now.
GILES Um...I think there must be some precedence for occurrences such as this. Uh, I'll research it. Wesley, can you give me a hand?
WESLEY Of course. Where do you think we should start?
OZ (V.O.) I am my thoughts. If they exist in her, Buffy contains everything that is me and she becomes me. I cease to exist.
OZ Hmm...
XANDER (V.O.) What am I gonna do? I think about sex all the time! Sex! Help! 4 times 5 is thirty. 5 times 6 is 32. Naked girls. Naked Women! Naked Buffy! Oh stop me! (BWWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA....HAHAHAHAHAAAA...sputter...cough...thud)
BUFFY God Xander! Is that all you think about?
XANDER Actually... bye. (Xander runs from the library)
WESLEY Xander has just illustrated something. Chances are, you're all going to be thinking whatever you least want Buffy to hear. It's a question, of course, of mental discipline.
GILES He's right. There are...
WESLEY (V.O.) Look at Cordelia. No! Don't look at Cordelia! She's a student! Oh I am a bad man. I'm a bad, bad man! (Buffy gazes intently at him) - (wwwooooww...LOL)
WESLEY Excuse me. (Wesley exits into Giles' office)
WILLOW What's it like Buffy?
BUFFY I don't know. It's a little weird. But... Look, please, don't for a second think that I don't need you, because I do. I want to share this with you. It's like all these doors are opening to all these little worlds, and I can just walk right inside.
OZ (V.O.) No one else exists either. Buffy is all of us. We think. Therefore, she is.
WILLOW (V.O.) She knows so much. She knows what Oz is thinking. I never know that. Before long, she'll know him better than I do.
BUFFY No, don't think that.
WILLOW I can't help it, Buffy. I'm sorry, I just can't. (Willow gets up and runs from the library)
OZ If you don't need me, I'm gonna follow the red-head. (Oz leaves also)
BUFFY (to Giles and Cordelia) Guess I won't be writing that book, 'Gaining Friends through Telepathy.'
CORDELIA (V.O.) Whatever. I wonder when I can go.
CORDELIA Whatever. Can I go? (Cordelia has no filter at all...awesome)
WESLEY (sticks his head out of the office) Excuse me. Can you hear me thinking in here? I could go out into the hall. (LOL!!)
BUFFY You know what? You stay. I'm getting a headache. I'll go.
(Dissolve from concerned Giles to Buffy walking down the crowded hallway. She hears numerous thoughts all run together)
THOUGHTS (V.O.) She is so hot! I hate my body. No one is ever gonna love me. What if I never get breasts? I can't believe the test is today. He has the cutest butt. (what's really impressive with all of these thoughts...the writers obviously understand the minds of teenagers...they hit all the highlights I would've wanted them to hit)
NANCY (V.O.) Hmph, I hate her.
(Cut to Giles and Wesley in Giles' office)
GILES Here. It's happened before. A man in Ecuador. Quite recently.
WESLEY Can we contact him?
GILES I'd say not. He can't communicate with anyone.
WESLEY Dead?
GILES No, he's in complete isolation. The power -- he can't shut it off. (eeeep)
(Cut to Buffy standing along the serving line in the cafeteria. Jonathon is next to her in line. The cacophony of thoughts continues)
THOUGHTS (V.O.) It's gotta get better. Please tell me it gets better. I hate school.
JONATHAN (V.O.) Am I normal?
JONATHAN Are you through with the mashed potatoes? Buffy looks at him.
JONATHAN (V.O.) She doesn't even know I'm here. Look at everybody, none of this matters. (Buffy steps away from him to walk into the cafeteria) - (here is the second set-up...very subtly implanted...this script is like looking at a classical composition by a virtuoso like Beethoven or Shostakovitch...)
THOUGHTS (V.O.) Come on! Come on! She's a loser. She has the sweetest face I've ever seen. Oh my god, quiet down. If I stand just in the right spot, I can probably see into the arm hole of her top. (All the voices blend into incomprehensible din as Buffy walks through the center of the cafeteria with her tray. Suddenly, the voices all stop)
EVIL VOICE (V.O.) This time tomorrow, I'll kill you all! (ooooooh)
BUFFY No really. I'm OK. Listen, there's a killer in the cafeteria.
XANDER See, I've been saying for years that the lunch lady's gonna do us all in with that Mulligan Stew. (wow...setting up the guilty party with a frivolous joke!...I love this script!!)
CORDELIA (hits him on the arm) Xander.
XANDER I mean, what the hell's a Mulligan? (LOL)
BUFFY Uh, mom, I'm fine. (Joyce grabs the blanket, comes back in)
JOYCE How about, some soup? Chicken and stars. (She sets the blanket on the bed)
BUFFY Mom, please, just come sit with me. (Joyce fidgets and steps back from the bed)
JOYCE I've uh, I've got laundry.
BUFFY Why are you...? (she bolts up in bed) You had sex with Giles?!
JOYCE (gasps)
BUFFY YOU HAD SEX WITH GILES?! (LOL!!)
JOYCE (turns to hurry out of the room) It was the candy! We were teenagers!
BUFFY On the hood of a police car?!? (ROTFL!!)
JOYCE (stops just outside the room looking back) I'll be downstairs. You feel better. (she hurries away)
BUFFY (calling after her) TWICE!!!! (hilarious!)
WILLOW Fantasy's are fun, aren't they Jonathan?
JONATHAN Uh... I guess.
WILLOW We all have fantasies that we're powerful, more respected. Where people pay attention to us.
JONATHAN Uh... maybe.
WILLOW But sometimes the fantasy isn't enough, is it Jonathan? Sometimes we have to make it so people don't ignore us. Make them pay attention. You know what I'm talking about, don't you?
JONATHAN Em, you... Want me to pay attention? (LOL)
CORDELIA Hi Mr. Beech! I was just wondering, were you planning on killing a bunch of people tomorrow? (smiles) Oh, it's for the yearbook! (wow...LOL)
XANDER Okay, so turnoff's include smoking, insensitive men, and Birkenstocks. Now, your idea of a perfect evening? Katie, let's start with you. (Xander, you dog...)
JONATHAN You think I won't use this?
BUFFY I don't know Jonathan. (takes a step forward) I just-
JONATHAN (Lurches back from her, aims the gun straight at her) Stop doing that!
BUFFY Doing what?
JONATHAN Stop saying my name like we're friends! We're not friends! You all think I'm an idiot! A short idiot!
BUFFY (matter-of-factly) I don't. I don't think about you much at all. Nobody here really does. Bugs you, doesn't it. You have all this pain, and all these feelings and nobody's really paying attention.
JONATHAN You think I just want attention?
BUFFY No. I think you're up in the clock tower with a high-powered rifle because you wanna blend in. Believe it or not, Jonathan, I understand about the pain.
JONATHAN Oh right. Cuz the burden of being beautiful and athletic, that's a crippler. (oh Jonathan...how little you understand)
BUFFY You know what? I was wrong. You are an idiot. My life happens to, on occasion, suck beyond the telling of it. Sometimes more than I can handle. And it's not just mine. Every single person down there is ignoring your pain because they're too busy with their own.
(Jonathan lowers the rifle more. Buffy steps toward the window. She looks down at the Quad below.)
BUFFY The beautiful ones. The popular ones. The guys that pick on you. Everyone. (Jonathan slowly moves up behind her to see what she sees. He steps up right next to her) If you could hear what they were feeling. The loneliness. The confusion. It looks quiet down there. It's not. It's deafening. (stunningly beautiful and oh so true) (She turns to face him) You know, I could've taken that by now.
JONATHAN I know.
BUFFY (holds her hand out) I'd rather do it this way. He thinks a moment, then hands her the rifle. She turns and pulls the bolt back, ejecting the bullet. She sets the gun down, then turns back to him.
JONATHAN I just wanted it to stop.
BUFFY Yeah, well, mass-murder, not really doctor recommended for that type of pain. Besides, prison, you know, it's a lot like high school, only instead of noogies-
JONATHAN What are you talking about?
BUFFY Actions having consequences. You know, stuff like that.
JONATHAN I, I, I wouldn't ever hurt anybody. (Buffy looks confused) I came up here to kill myself. (oh...shit!!)
GILES Jonathan? How's he?
BUFFY Pretty crappy. His parents are freaking. He got suspended. And toting a piece to school, not exactly winning him a place with the in-crowd. But, I think he's dealing.
GILES Well, it's good of you to check on him.
BUFFY Well, it's nice to be able to help someone in a non-slaying capacity. Except, he's starting to get that look, you know, like he's gonna ask me to Prom.
GILES Well, it would probably be good for his self-esteem, if you...
BUFFY Oh come on! What am I, Saint Buffy? He's like three feet tall! (LOL)
GILES I'm glad to see you've recovered from your psychic encounter more or less intact. Feel up to some training?
BUFFY Sure. We can work out after school. You know, if you're not too busy having sex with my MOTHER! (At which point Giles walks right into a tree - nice comic send-off. :D)
No comments:
Post a Comment