Monday, October 18, 2010

Classics: Early Edition 2:20 - Don't Walk Away, Renee

Overall: 5.5

This episode is cute in many places, but it has a rather offensive anti-military message.

Plot Synopsis:

It's Gary's birthday, and his parents have driven in from Hickory, Indiana, to celebrate. In order to get Gary downstairs for his surprise party, Bernie and Lois fake him out by replacing the front page of his paper with a dummy page that reports that McGinty's will soon be leveled by a gas explosion. When Gary discovers the ruse, he is not amused -- and later, his irritation only grows when Chuck pulls a fake-out of his own to deliver a "Happy Birthday" message.

Bernie and Lois insist that they were only trying to help Gary to lighten up, and they argue that Gary's current monk-like existence can't be good for him. Lois then mentions that she recently had a conversation with her old friend, Mrs. Callahan, regarding her (still single) daughter, Renee. "No blind dates, Mom!" Gary responds. After cake and the aforementioned message from Chuck, Gary leaves in a huff to deal with a mugging that appears on the real front page of his paper. While he's away, Bernie and Lois try to rearrange Gary's loft according to the principles of feng shui - or "feng shooey," as Bernie says it (LOL!).

At the park, the victim of the mugging turns out to be Renee Callahan. Gary is sure this is yet another parental set-up, so he behaves like a bit of a jackass after the rescue and leaves Renee alone to scratch her head in befuddlement. When Gary returns to his loft, he starts to take his parents to task for their tricks, but Lois denies that she had anything to do with Renee's troubles in the park. After Lois gets a call from an irate Mrs. Callahan, she turns on her Mom Voice (LOL!) and orders Gary to go at once to Renee's place of work and apologize.

Meanwhile, at her office, Renee is deleting files from her computer when she hears suspicious whispers nearby. She slips into the kitchen, hides a disc in the ceiling, and then waits behind a door. When she sees someone approach, Renee slams him in the face with said door. Of course, the victim turns out to be a contrite Gary, who attempts to apologize for the misunderstanding in the park. Renee asks him if he was speaking to anyone a few moments earlier, and Gary says no. Just then, two "cops" arrive and place Renee and Gary under arrest. Renee, knowing that the cops are fake, breaks out her inner ninja, and she and Gary escape still handcuffed to each other.

Back at McGinty's, while Bernie and Gary attempt to release the cuffs with a pen knife, Renee explains the nature of her work. Apparently, she is working on an algorithm that may one day help the government to predict weather patterns. She claims she has no idea why someone would want to steal her research, but states that she plans to get in touch with Washington the following morning to find out what's going on.

Renee and Gary spend the night cuffed together. The next morning, Renee does indeed call Washington, after which Lois, Renee and Gary head to the hardware store to acquire a set of bolt cutters and Bernie sneaks into Renee's office to retrieve her secreted disc. At the hardware store, Renee attempts to pay for a pair of bolt cutters with her credit card, but when the card is run through, that alerts the authorities as to her whereabouts. Fortunately, Lois reads in the paper that a melee is about to erupt in the store, and the three manage to escape the feds just in time.

Back at McGinty's, Renee and the others are mulling over what to do next when a courier arrives with a package for Gary. Renee, seeing the courier's facial hair, concludes that he's a fake and once again goes ninja. The fake courier pulls out a gun, but Lois knocks him out cold from behind. "No one points a gun at my son!" she declares. (LOL!) Bernie arrives then with Renee's disc and, fortunately, a hacksaw. As Bernie works on removing the handcuffs, Renee reveals that her research is more consequential than she at first let on. Indeed, she believes she may have found a way to predict the future, and she fears that her boss may be planning to steal her data in order to get rich. Once she and Gary have been disconnected, Renee leaves. She doesn't want to endanger the others.

Later, Lois sees that Gary is troubled by Renee's sudden departure and encourages him to go after her. Gary finds Renee hiding out at the university library, and the two of them spend the night sleeping in the stacks. The following morning, the paper and cat appear at Gary's feet, and Gary discovers to his alarm that his parents will soon be abducted outside a local Starbucks. Gary and Renee rush over to the Starbucks, but they don't make it in time.

At McGinty's, Renee receives a call from her boss. He is holding Bernie and Lois hostage until she turns over her data. Gary looks at his paper and urges Renee to arrange for the trade at an old warehouse. That night, Gary and Renee arrive at the warehouse, and the trade is made. Renee's boss reveals that Renee has been working for the Pentagon all along and crows that his intentions are surely better than the military's. Before Renee's boss can get away, however, the warehouse is leveled in a massive explosion, and the shock wave loosens the disc from his grasp. Renee snatches the disc, and she and the others duck into the Grey Ghost. At that point, the military arrives in force, and a general demands that Renee hand over her data. Renee gives the general Bernie's "Best of American Bandstand" CD. Back at McGinty's, she crushes the real disc.

In the end, Renee and Gary do in fact go out on a date. Renee asks Gary how he knew about the warehouse explosion and everything else, and Gary tells Renee the truth about the paper. Renee doesn't believe him, however, and they laugh the whole thing off.

The Skinny:

The opening of this episode is absolutely precious. It's always fun to watch Bernie and Lois discombobulate Gary with their well-intentioned meddling. I also love how this episode gives Lois one more opportunity to display her Righteous Mother Rage. And while I don't much care for the way Renee is forced on the viewer as a potential love interest for Gary, the scenes between Gary and Renee are inoffensive enough.

There are two things, however, that I don't like about this episode. First of all, the proposition that we may one day be able to predict patterns of human behavior in the same manner we predict weather systems implies that humans are wholly material creatures whose actions strictly follow mathematical laws. Where does free will fit into this deterministic universe? Secondly - and most importantly - the writers disappoint me by falling back on easy Hollywood stereotypes. Officials from the Pentagon are once again portrayed as black-hatted villains eager to conquer the rest of the world.

Folks, the Pentagon is merely the building that houses the Department of Defense. When you attack the Pentagon, you are not attacking some shadowy, imperialistic organization; you are attacking the U.S. military, an institution that has been a force for good in the world far more often than it has been a force for evil. Not only has the military protected a way of life that continues to attract millions of immigrants to the U.S. every year, but it has also provided aid and comfort to people in foreign countries the world over. When the Indian Ocean Tsunami struck in 2004, some of the first people to respond were members of the U.S. military. When our military makes war, it doesn't simply break stuff and leave; once our soldiers secure an area, they stick around to help rebuild. Our military certainly isn't perfect - no large institution is - but the persistent anti-military messages that float around in our media are born of an ignorance that Early Edition should not have indulged.

Writing: 7.0

As I said, the scenes between Gary and his parents are quite funny despite the simplistic nature of this episode's larger plot.

Acting: 8.5

There's also nothing wrong with the acting as far as I can tell. Tess Harper and William Devane are, as always, a hoot, and Lori Heuring is perfectly pleasant.

Message: 3.0

It's just too bad that this episode's cliched portrayal of the military is so insulting. I expect better from this usually fair series.

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