Plot Synopsis:
A summary can be found at the Lurker's Guide here.
Overall: 8.2
If you fast-forward through all the parts featuring Garibaldi, Talia and Stoner, this is a straight-up feature.
Writing: 8.5
One thing's for sure: Peter David has a gift for comedy that Straczynski lacks. If you gather up all the Centauri-centered scenes in this episode, what you'll have is the funniest twenty minutes of Babylon 5 ever produced. This is chiefly the fault of David's magnificent contribution to the canon: Timov, daughter of Algul and first wife of Londo Mollari. Timov deserved a hell of a lot more screen time than she ultimately was given; of all the show's one-shot characters, she is by far the strongest and most distinctive. Her blunt, take-no-prisoners approach to everyone and everything - especially her husband - is an absolute scream. When she's around, cutting one-liners are deployed at breakneck speed; as you'll see below, she out-and-out dominates this episode's highlight reel. If this episode focused solely on Londo and his three wives, Timov's comic merits alone would've pushed this episode's writing score to near a perfect ten.
But Timov is not simply hilarious. Oh, no! Peter David manages to make her a gloriously layered character as well. In a few key scenes, Timov's latent affection for her husband accidentally slips through thanks to David and Jane Carr, whose performance I will discuss further in a moment. Moreover, I love how Timov's presence serves to deepen Londo as a character. Despite Londo's willingness to take advantage of the insincere toadying of his other two wives, he is keenly aware that Timov is the only wife he can count on. Londo knows he needs Timov's biting honesty to keep himself semi-grounded -- and the fact that Londo acknowledges this need - the fact that he doesn't surround himself with fawning yes-men - is yet one more indication that he is redeemable. That will be important to remember as his arc goes down even darker avenues in the coming weeks.
There's also something here about Talia's evil ex, but really, who cares about that? There's nothing inherently wrong with the other half of this episode; I simply don't find it very interesting. As it turns out, that's pretty much par for the course for me when the Centauri and the humans go halfsies on an episode (see also: Knives, which I will review later this summer).
Acting: 8.0
As I implied above, the awesomeness of Jane Carr cannot be overstated. Carr has a terrific stage presence, but more than that, she nails the subtleties. Take, for example, that final scene with Londo. Watch closely: after Londo kisses Timov's hand in farewell, a little flicker of pleasure passes across her face. It's a blink-and-you'll-miss-it moment, but I swear it has launched thousands of words of fanfiction. Meanwhile, Stephen Furst is absolutely adorable in the role of the nervous host, and you can tell that Peter Jurasik is having the time of his life playing a happy, gregarious drunk one last time before things get shot all to hell. Heck, even Andreas Katsulas (God rest his soul) gets a few funny moments playing off the Centauri. I wouldn't say everyone in the cast impresses me in equal measure here, but even Keith Szarabajka (Stoner) and Andrea Thompson are tolerable, which, given how rocky the acting usually is on this show, is a sign that we're dealing with a pretty high quality episode on the performance front.
Message: 8.0
There is something oddly mature in the way Londo's relationship with Timov is handled. Obviously, the ideal would be for a couple to have both the romantic sentiment and the trust, but if you're truly limited to one or the other, it's better that, like Londo and Timov, you have the latter. Sentiment fades; trust endures.
Highlights:
VIR: I'm here to pick up some women.
GARIBALDI: You'll have better luck in bars. (LOL!)
VIR: No! I mean --
GARIBALDI: Just kidding.
VIR: Oh. (Vir laughs awkwardly.)
GARIBALDI: So who are these women? Diplomats?
VIR: Ambassador Mollari's three wives.
GARIBALDI: A harem! The lucky dog --
(Timov arrives.)
TIMOV: You are Vir?
VIR: Yes!
TIMOV: I am Timov, daughter of Algul. You will take me to my husband. (She certainly doesn't like to waste time. Heh.)
VIR: I was told there would be three of you.
TIMOV: (re: Garibaldi) Who is this? No, never mind. I said you will bring me to my husband. Is your hearing deficient?
VIR: No, but I do have --
TIMOV: Then let's be off! (She leaves.)
VIR: (calling after Timov) It is a pleasure to meet you!
(When Vir gets no response, he looks crestfallen.)
GARIBALDI: You should've put the emphasis on pleasure. She would've loved you then. (Hee.)
VIR: He'll be here shortly, I swear! He's probably at a meeting or something --
TIMOV: He drags me out here, gives me no reason why he wants to see me -- what's he hiding, Vir? Tell me.
(Vir fumbles and stammers for a few seconds.)
TIMOV: I won't bite, Vir.
VIR: With all due respect, madam, that's -- not what I've heard. (ROTFL!)
TIMOV: All right. That one time --
VIR: It was -- it was twice.
TIMOV: Daggair, what a surprise!
DAGGAIR: A pleasant one.
TIMOV: I wouldn't go that far. (Hee!)
VIR: Madam Daggair, my pardons. This is unconscionable. I-I was at customs. I don't know how I could have missed you!
TIMOV: Believe me, Vir, if you knew her as I do, you wouldn't miss her a bit.
DAGGAIR: (tittering) Oh, Timov, Timov. Why do you always try to draw me into your little verbal fencing matches?
TIMOV: Because I don't have a real sword handy. (LOL!)
VIR: Can I get you anything?
TIMOV: Yes! You can get me out of here! Who does Londo think he is to keep us sitting about?
DAGGAIR: He probably thinks he's our husband -- and that we as dutiful wives will wait with breathless anticipation for his arrival. Is that not right, Vir?
VIR: Well, um, actually -- (By the way, Vir is so cute trying to play referee.)
TIMOV: You are joking, Daggair --
DAGGAIR: Your problem, Timov, is that you've never known your place.
TIMOV: My place? You once threatened to break a vase over his head!
DAGGAIR: (laughing) Well, that was the impetuousness of youth.
TIMOV: That was last month! (ROTFL!)
LONDO: Well, well, well! And here you are!
TIMOV: And here you are finally. Where have you been?
LONDO: Affairs of state, my dear.
TIMOV: State of inebriation, I'd wager. (LOL!)
TIMOV: The secret of our marriage's success, Londo, is our lack of communication. You have jeopardized that success, and I would know why! (Hee!)
(After Londo reveals his plan to divorce two of his wives.)
TIMOV: (to Daggair) You knew about this! You knew!
DAGGAIR: (laughing falsely) Oh, my dear, I've been caught completely unawares, I assure you. (to Londo) Petulant, isn't she? Ah, well -- breeding will tell.
TIMOV: A bitch like you would know about breeding. (Zing!)
LONDO: Ladies, ladies, please -- continue. (ROTFL! Londo is having much more fun than he deserves here.)
MARIEL: Both of us? Together?
DAGGAIR: If it pleases Londo, it pleases me.
LONDO: No, no, this isn't right. (A beat.) Timov should be here too. (ROTFL!)
TIMOV: (coming in from the other room) Do you seriously expect me to become involved in your sexual olympics?
LONDO: They're merely expressing their feelings for me.
TIMOV: I can do that. (SMACK! Timov slaps Londo in the face. ROTFLOL!)
LONDO: (darker) You haven't changed.
TIMOV: You have. You've devolved.
(At Londo's party.)
LONDO: Ah, G'Kar! Ambassador G'Kar!
MARIEL: Wearing shoes, Ambassador G'Kar?
DAGGAIR: You are aware of the level of insult that represents --
G'KAR: Indeed! (to Londo) Do you take offense, Ambassador?
LONDO: (with false cheer) Oh, no, not at all! Nothing's too good for my esteemed Narn colleague! (G'Kar walks away clutching his head.) Oh, I love doing that to him. (LOL!)
(After Londo is hit with the poison darts.)
TIMOV: Dr. Franklin?
FRANKLIN: Yes.
TIMOV: About Londo --
FRANKLIN: I'm afraid there's been no change in his condition.
TIMOV: I know. It may interest you to know that Londo and I do have one thing in common: the same blood type.
FRANKLIN: Well, why didn't you tell me this before?
TIMOV: I was deciding what to do about it.
FRANKLIN: (shocked) He's dying.
TIMOV: We all die, doctor, sooner or later. As for Londo -- after everything he's done, I would take some small pleasure in letting him die. But whatever you may think of me, doctor, I do have some principals that even twenty years with Londo can't erase. I do not like to win my battles this way. I find it vaguely unsatisfying. So you may have your transfusion, doctor, on one condition: he must never know that I did this. I don't think either of us could stand the awkwardness of false gratitude.
FRANKLIN: Londo, do you know where you are?
LONDO: Either in MedLab or in hell. Either way, the decor needs work. (LOL!)
DAGGAIR: Oh, Dr. Franklin. Thank you for saving our husband. You have done the Centauri a great service.
MARIEL: I agree. It's so good to see you with us again, Londo.
LONDO: Well, that settles it, doctor. I am in hell. And what? Not a word from you, Timov? Not an insincere word of relief? Not a blink of forced concern for my well being?
TIMOV: No. (Heh.)
G'KAR: You know, the problem with mysteries is that in order to get rid of the headaches, I have to figure them out. Here we're faced with a staggering set of coincidences. A Centauri artifact - an ancient booby trap, it seems - happens to arrive on Babylon 5 just in time to be purchased as a gift for Londo. And rather than hide or deny responsibility, the gift giver makes a point of saying she gave it to him -- which neatly avoids any accusations of malicious intent because usually when you're trying to kill someone, you hide the attempt. (G'Kar chuckles.) And there, you see, my head no longer throbs.
MARIEL: That's an interesting theory, G'Kar. To whom will you tell it?
G'KAR: Oh, do I look like a rumor monger? (They drink.) Do not underestimate him. If I could figure it out, so could he.
MARIEL: G'Kar - a pleasure as always. (She turns to leave.)
G'KAR: I warn you, Mariel, do not be overconfident. If I were married to Londo Mollari, I'd be concerned.
MARIEL: G'Kar - if you were married to Londo Mollari, we'd all be concerned. (ROTFLOL! *dies and is dead of the hilarity*)
TIMOV: All right, Londo - why did you choose to keep me as your wife and not them? I've made no pretense of affection for you, I find your recent actions contemptible, I'll never love you - at best, I'll merely tolerate you - and I'll never be what you want me to be. Why me?
LONDO: Because with you, I will always know where I stand. (Classic.)
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